Eastenders - Current Episode Discussion - VIII

[lizann]

selfish stacey

[Dazzle]

How frustrating that we were right about the paternity of Stacey's baby, and doubly so now Kush had decided to keep the secret too. Surely he and Shabnam presently have enough drama in their lives with Zaair's death, the wedding and the custody battle for Jade?

I must admit I enjoyed the wedding episode as a whole because it was well written and acted. I could even understand why Stacey believes she's made the right decision (though I absolutely disagree with it). However, the whole thing leaves a bit of a bad taste in my mouth.

I'm guessing the truth will come out at Christmas or the New Year.

[lizann]

stacey was sleeping with kush and martin around same time, is she sure

[Dazzle]

stacey was sleeping with kush and martin around same time, is she sure

I wrote a post a few weeks ago (I think it was on the Stacey Slater thread) where, after doing some research, I concluded there was probably a month between her sleeping with Kush and Martin. It was written that way so she'd have no doubt (unless there's another twist).

[maidmarian]

How frustrating that we were right about the paternity of Stacey's baby, and doubly so now Kush had decided to keep the secret too. Surely he and Shabnam presently have enough drama in their lives with Zaair's death, the wedding and the custody battle for Jade?

I must admit I enjoyed the wedding episode as a whole because it was well written and acted. I could even understand why Stacey believes she's made the right decision (though I absolutely disagree with it). However, the whole thing leaves a bit of a bad taste in my mouth.

I'm guessing the truth will come out at Christmas or the New Year.

It is as expected as you say -but rather seedy.!!
And no doubt truth?? will be revealed in
the near future.

If youre going to have a secret as big as that-
all participants need to be firm on the matter.
I dont think we have that here. The character
of Stacey was improved now reversing and
I think she has potential if better written.
But thats not likely soon.

I wonder about Kushs motives-
The nice version would be he wants
to be married and not upset Shabnams
fragile state re stillborn baby & Jade.
The less nice version is he likes the idea
of a child but without responsibilty and
financial commitment.

Also wonder if/ when Martin (.who is
not too bright - but not dense) will
wake up to the possiblities.?

There will probably be a lot of drama-
Not sure if will.rock square!!

[Dazzle]

I wonder about Kushs motives-
The nice version would be he wants
to be married and not upset Shabnams
fragile state re stillborn baby & Jade.
The less nice version is he likes the idea
of a child but without responsibilty and
financial commitment.

I'm leaning towards the nice version at the moment. I thought he seemed genuine in wanting to confess to Shabnam and be a father to the baby.

I was even relieved for a few minutes because I thought somebody in Albert Square was going to do the right thing for once...

There will probably be a lot of drama-
Not sure if will.rock square!!

It's definitely going to rock the square!

[parkerman]

I find this story a difficult one for me personally as I went through something similar in my younger days. I don't really want to go into it all here and it wasn't quite the same situation but all I can say is I have every sympathy with Stacey and Kush. It is a hard and tough decision. I've kept the secret of a baby's paternity secret for over 40 years now. His real mother and supposed father are both dead now. I still have the urge every now and then to tell him the truth but I think what's the point. He's grown up thinking his "father" was his real father, what good would it do now to tell him he wasn't and that someone who is almost a complete stranger is. What would it do to him?

Sorry, I'm sure you don't want to hear about my problems, but it's just that I know that none of this is easy and the amount of agonising that goes on. I think it is wrong to dismiss Stacey and/or Kush as being selfish. In fact, from my experience, I think they are the opposite.

[Dazzle]

Thanks for sharing your experience, parkerman. It's too easy for those of us who haven't been through a similar situation to judge, especially when watching a soap and knowing the repercussions for those involved aren't real.

I think it's very strong of you not to have succumbed to the temptation to tell him now both of his parents are gone.

[maidmarian]

I find this story a difficult one for me personally as I went through something similar in my younger days. I don't really want to go into it all here and it wasn't quite the same situation but all I can say is I have every sympathy with Stacey and Kush. It is a hard and tough decision. I've kept the secret of a baby's paternity secret for over 40 years now. His real mother and supposed father are both dead now. I still have the urge every now and then to tell him the truth but I think what's the point. He's grown up thinking his "father" was his real father, what good would it do now to tell him he wasn't and that someone who is almost a complete stranger is. What would it do to him?

Sorry, I'm sure you don't want to hear about my problems, but it's just that I know that none of this is easy and the amount of agonising that goes on. I think it is wrong to dismiss Stacey and/or Kush as being selfish. In fact, from my experience, I think they are the opposite.

Im sorry this story has been so difficult for you.
Im afraid theres is a lot of it about! And probably
even more years ago. Husbands would accept
a child as theirs when they knew he/ she wasn't
To avoid breaking up their marriage and the
upset for their other children. A lot of families
had such a secret but it was kept that way.
A sort of in-law of mine was in that position
and he confided in me when very elderly that
he didnt regret it!

Your story is probably very different. I know
some people think the truth is paramount
and in general I agree- but personally I
think for a person to find out that the
person theyve always thought to be their
father wasnt - would shake the foundations
of their lives. The only exceptions might
be if their relationship with their assumed
father was very poor or if there were
serious genetic health concerns.

So though it has caused you great worry
to keep.the secret (for which Im sorry)
I think you have done the right thing.
Thats just my personal opinion and I
hope I have not caused offence!

[storyseeker1]

I find this story a difficult one for me personally as I went through something similar in my younger days. I don't really want to go into it all here and it wasn't quite the same situation but all I can say is I have every sympathy with Stacey and Kush. It is a hard and tough decision. I've kept the secret of a baby's paternity secret for over 40 years now. His real mother and supposed father are both dead now. I still have the urge every now and then to tell him the truth but I think what's the point. He's grown up thinking his "father" was his real father, what good would it do now to tell him he wasn't and that someone who is almost a complete stranger is. What would it do to him?

Sorry, I'm sure you don't want to hear about my problems, but it's just that I know that none of this is easy and the amount of agonising that goes on. I think it is wrong to dismiss Stacey and/or Kush as being selfish. In fact, from my experience, I think they are the opposite.

I've never gone through something like this before, so I can't say for certain what my feelings would be. But you've been a good friend to the boy's parents by not saying anything.

Tbh, in my own opinion, I believe honesty is the best policy, because secrets always have a chance of getting found out. I remember watching a docu once about children who were adopted or found out one of their parents wasn't their biological parent. One of them was about a guy in a similar situation as you just said. His parents didn't want him to know at any cost. Unfortunately, after they past away, the guy developed leukaemia, and while he was going in for treatment, the blood analysis revealed his dad wasn't his biological dad. It was all pretty emotional. The guy's biological dad had past away years ago, so he never met him. The guy said that the worst thing was that he had all these questions, and no one to answer them, and he never got to know his birth father when he had all those chances to do years before.

But I don't know your exact circumstances, so he probably won't ever find out. But there is always a chance that he may do, and if he were to learn the truth like years from now after you die, then who will be there to answer his questions? I'm not saying he won't be upset after learning his supposed dad wasn't his real dad, as anyone will be upset in a situation like that, but after after he's had a chance to calm down then he and his real dad might get to know each other. I have also heard about kids who were adopted and then finding their birth parents. They all had misgivings about meeting someone they never knew who was their real parent, and felt guilty about wanting to know them because they thought they were dishonouring the parents who raised them. But in almost all situations, the kids and their parents all developed strong relationships and got along.