He never meant anything to me, not as much as Sam. All he did was bring me down and make things difficult for everyone. I don't feel anything for Sam, it's not about that. All the nights we stayed up or I stayed over recently, we'd talk about me and it brought a lot of stuff up that I'd rather not remember. I felt comfortable telling him those things because I knew he understood.
It's not about being in love with him. I'm not, I've never felt anything like that towards him. He's the type of guy I want to marry and have kids with. Everything about him I love but I don't love him. We can never be together.
It's not even about him. It's the stuff I never dealt with four years ago and still can't now. Not on my own.
