UPSET WIFE !!

She came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love
to a very attractive young woman. The wife was VERY upset! 'You are a
disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me-a faithful
wife, the mother of your children? I'm leaving you I want a divorce
straight away!'

And he replied: 'Hang on just a minute luv, so at least I can tell you
what happened' 'Fine, go ahead', she sobbed, 'but they'll be the last
words you'll say to me!' And he began: 'Well, I was getting into the car
to drive home and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked
so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into
the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very
dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days! So, in my
compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the pizza I made for
you last night, the one you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll
put on weight.

The poor thing devoured it in moments. Since she needed a good
clean-up I suggested a shower and while she was doing that I noticed her
clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw them away. Then, as she
needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a
few years, but don't wear because you say they are too tight. I also
gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you
don't wear because I don't have good taste. I found the sexy blouse my
sister gave you for Christmas that you don't wear just to annoy her and
I also donated those boots you bought at that expensive boutique and
don't wear because someone at work has a pair like them..'

He took a quick breath and continued: 'She was so grateful for my
understanding and help and as I walked her to the door she turned to me
with tears in her eyes and said 'Please........do you have anything else
that your wife doesn't use?'