Can it work with friends?

[Abi]

Another question to ask yourself - If she does say that she likes you in the same way, then do you see yourselves together? I know it sounds obvious, but i know lots of people who like other people, and then when they get together, they can't properly have a relationship. Guess its something about wanting the person, then when you get them, its not the same. Just something to keep in mind, i guess. Be confident in yourself, and tell her how you feel. At least you being friends will make it a bit easier to be honest with her. Good luck!

[Perdita]

Another question to ask yourself - If she does say that she likes you in the same way, then do you see yourselves together? I know it sounds obvious, but i know lots of people who like other people, and then when they get together, they can't properly have a relationship. Guess its something about wanting the person, then when you get them, its not the same. Just something to keep in mind, i guess. Be confident in yourself, and tell her how you feel. At least you being friends will make it a bit easier to be honest with her. Good luck!

But this is something I don't think you will know until you try it, surely.

[Abi]

Another question to ask yourself - If she does say that she likes you in the same way, then do you see yourselves together? I know it sounds obvious, but i know lots of people who like other people, and then when they get together, they can't properly have a relationship. Guess its something about wanting the person, then when you get them, its not the same. Just something to keep in mind, i guess. Be confident in yourself, and tell her how you feel. At least you being friends will make it a bit easier to be honest with her. Good luck!

But this is something I don't think you will know until you try it, surely.

I guess so. But i guess sometimes you can fancy someone, but not want a relationship with them, and know that before hand.

[Debs]

I think its a case of if she likes you in the same way you like her and you both want to give it a go then you should! she could turn out to be the love of your life, would you want to have missed out on that, would you regret it if you didnt try! And maybe youll both give it a try and think oh actually this is weird lets just stay great mates, it dosent always have to ruin friendships

Good luck hun xx

[Kirsty :]]

Me and Abigail were on about this the other night!!

Basically, my situation isn't really one but in this case.. I'm in the same boat as you Bry.
I have this really good friends and we're liek best friends and I feel strongly about him. However, I've always had the "don't want to ruin the friendship thing".

But I say tell her how you feel.
I never told my friend how I felt/feel but I know that a while back we both really liked each other.. jsut never said anything.
So I say tell her... you'll probably regret it otherwise, I did.
She may say that yes, you're better off as friends, but treasure the fact you ahve such a strong bond and was best to not break it and cross the line, and that you at least told her how you feel.

However it could also go amazingly and you may find out she feels exactly the same

I think being with a friend works... I have many friends who are together and they seem very strong
Good luck and let us know how you get on, you'll be fine xx

[Chloe O'brien]

I wouldn't get involved with a mate but that's me. Two years ago I changed jobs in the college were I work. I found myself sharing an office with 12 men (Heaven I hear you shout) I settled in and had the usual office/sexism banter with some of the guys. At the first Christmas night out I almost snogged one of the guys he was having relationships problems and in Feburary him and his girlfriend split. We contiuned to flirt and have a laugh but I realised that if we did get involved and it went pear shaped I would be hurt as the friendship would be lost. I'm the type of girl who if I fancy a guy I shy away from and have difficulty talking to them ( I know hard to believe eh) I find it easier to flirt with a guy if I don't fancy them.

My advice is Bryan is think long and hard could you cope with seeing this girl everyday if she didn't feel the same way. I'm also a great believer in fate and what is for you won't go past you. Prove me wrong go for it ask her out.

[Ruffed_lemur]

From 'Fix you' by Coldplay: "If you never try, you never know." Wise words I think...

Good luck Bryan!

[Trinity]

I guess what this is really about is finding out if your friend has the same feelings for you - or the potential of them - without losing the friendship that you now have.

I want to ask another question - is this girl a flat mate or anything? If so then there is a lot to complicate.

I personally wouldn't go with the letter thing, it would be so awkward to meet afterwards especially if she doesn't feel the same way.

I would be more inclined to talk about a movie - say My Best Friends Wedding and ask a general question alone the lines of the one you have asked here, 'Do you think that friends can have a relationship without ruining their friendship'. You don't even need to raise this when you are alone - you could have a discussion with other friends. You should be able to gauge a lot from her answer.


Another thing is light flirting - try it and see how she responds - if she isn't interested then it should be clear, and you can stop without ever saying how you feel.

If you think that she may feel the same way then I would just ask her out on a date - if she says no, then just act as if it was a 'friends' thing.

Keep it light.

BTW - I was friends with my husband before we started going out, and we have been together more than 20 years. It can definitely work.

Good luck!

[Bryan]

i've been giving this a lot of thought, and i had a chat with one of my mates about this last night (the kind of friend who you are close to, then fall out of touch with, then can have such an in depth talk and it'll be like you've never stopped being good friends) and it made me get a clear perspective on things

i think it's best to keep it how it is, it's worked best that way for three years, and i've never really noticed her feel anymore than friendship towards me, and nor have I to her until recently.

With the way i'm feeling atm, I think anyone that shows me the slightest bit of attention (be it only friendly) will make me feel something for them. I think I'm so tired of being single that I'm trying to find any way to be in a relationship, but just becuase im friends with her doesn't mean we'd be good as a couple (like Abi said). I think I just need to sit back and wait for someone to come along, although I seriously doubt that will ever happen!

[di marco]

i've been giving this a lot of thought, and i had a chat with one of my mates about this last night (the kind of friend who you are close to, then fall out of touch with, then can have such an in depth talk and it'll be like you've never stopped being good friends) and it made me get a clear perspective on things

i think it's best to keep it how it is, it's worked best that way for three years, and i've never really noticed her feel anymore than friendship towards me, and nor have I to her until recently.

With the way i'm feeling atm, I think anyone that shows me the slightest bit of attention (be it only friendly) will make me feel something for them. I think I'm so tired of being single that I'm trying to find any way to be in a relationship, but just becuase im friends with her doesn't mean we'd be good as a couple (like Abi said). I think I just need to sit back and wait for someone to come along, although I seriously doubt that will ever happen!

awwww dont say that, im sure youll find someone soon enough. if you think thats why you feel how you do about her then maybe keeping as friends is the best thing, and just see how you feel about her still in a few months time