eastenders comedy

[crazy_purple]

Missed the announcer. Poo.

Kev!Bev! encourages Ponytail to get back together with Nico. She somehow works out that he's invited him round later. Whoo... psychic? She does the usual and storms out. This is getting to be a regular thing.

Awww, poor Ian...

Lil-Mo is suffering. Heh.

I thought Kev!Bev! hated Nico last episode? ...I wish I found them remotely interesting. He tells Ponytail that "the boy's grief-stricken, stricken by grief!" Er... Did she really need the dictionary definition? Whaaat?

Lil-Mo's abandoned her son in a launderette. Nice.

Sonia has an emo fringe! Boo! Hiss! Dot "won't have Pauline saying Martin is under-nourished". Dot, no-one will say that.

Pat's earrings = more restrained today.

Ponytail keeps saying "Nicko". Isn't it said Ny-co? Learn your husband's name, woman. She uses her psychic powers on Pat to find out that her beloved's whole family are coming round. Guess what she does next. Go on, guess.

Ian reminds me of Gollum. Pat says "I don't believe it!", Victor Meldrew style, when she finds out Kathy is dead. Riiiight. Does she want proof? Jane hugs her, and can barely fit her arms around her.

Kev!Bev! is incredibly creepy to watch when you don't have the sound on. Try it sometime.

News of Kathy gets round the Square in the usual manner - comic misunderstandings and the like. Peggy tries to get in the cafe. Jane rocks. Martin kind of agrees with Jane, and then goes "Lemme 'ave a go!" and tries to bash the door down. Awww Ian.

Ponytail's grin when she sees Nico is also creepy. She probably inherited it from her dad OR DID SHE?! (I like saying that.) Is it me or is Anna a man?

It's suddenly night time. Ian opens the door to Martin. Why? He's a buffoon.

'Mum' has a point. Everything has to be on Ponytail's terms. But she's still a man. Are they running out of extras or something?

Sonia's cheesed off. Martin and Ian are all purpley. Ooo. Ian's mean - "You'd know all about that wouldn't you?" Martin - grumpy face.

Kev!Bev! stands in the middle of the room and starts off with "I wanna thank you all for being here". Strip! Strip! Strip! Nico's quite good-looking, despite apparently having two fathers. People only get to talk when they're holding Cupid. Ooh, it's gone all Lord of the Flies. Anna makes good points.

Ben is Ian's bro? How much did I miss? What's with the purpleyness, anyway? Am I hallucinating again? Awwww poor poor Ian, I just wanna hug the old git...

So, back with the Addam's familyand co., Kev!Bev! won't accept anyone else's opinion but his own. Bah. They get arguing and Nico's dad gets angry - oh what joy, the BBC is bringing out the Stereotypes box again. Anyway, Nico's dad speaks in Greek and Nico translates it as "the strong bull wastes his seed on the sick cow". Ewwww. Are you sure it wasn't something like "Well, this has been a nice argument, may we stay for tea? We brought crumpets!"

Sonia is all high and mighty at Martin until he says that Kathy is DEAD, and wanders away quietly. Sonia got denied. Hee.

Ian leaves in a taxi, after telling Jane to "look after them for me". Presumably he means the kids, but then they both look at a point about 10 feet up in the air. Bloody hell, they must have grown.

Kev!Bev! tells everyone that "I'll get the next plane out of here". Thank the Lawd. Ponytail can't believe what her dad did. Whaaat? A minute ago she hated Nico. Make your bloody mind up. I almost feel sorry for Kev!Bev! Almost. Ponytail storms out. Wasn't expecting that. Duf-dufs on Kev!Bev!'s gurn.

[feelingyellow]

Love'd that hunni! Please do more!

[crazy_purple]

Missed first 15 mins.

In the Minute Mart. Apparently we are in an ad for some random jar of sauce. Are these the new EE sponsors? Brad not-Pitt, Hole buys a top-shelf mag, the dirty boy. Jim, you are many things, but a caveman isn't one of them. As soon as Sonia gets outside she starts harmonizing about the jar of sauce again. What the hell is this?

Yay! A postcard from Kat and Alfie! They are apparently in Texas! The camera zooms in on the card, the producers' way of saying "LOOK! This show was interesting once!"

Ponytail... doesn't have a ponytail today. Aww. She'll have to have a new nickname. ...Nah. It's still, like, a metaphorical hairdo.

Sonia is staring at a kitchen knife like something out of Psycho. Eee! Eee! Eee! Eee! Naomi joins in. There is a chicken.

That restaurant again. Kev!Bev!'s eyes widen scarily. Ponytail whinges. Shut up, girl. Why does Nico seem to be turning into another Leo?

Brad Hole can't play poker OR CAN HE?! Mints foresees that the game will be like taking candy from a baby. I can see where this is going. Yawn.

Brasses? Naomi = angsty look @ Sonia. Oh God, not this again. In the Vic, Martin says "Let's play some cards!" in the same tone as "Unleash hell!" in Gladiator.

Hee at Patrick.

Sonia = angsty.

Nico turns up in the living room - wait, how did he get in there without them noticing? Ponytail and Nico make up.

Mints - "Why do you always show me up?!" to Garry... hee. Anyway, Brad Hole wins the game. I never saw that coming.

What's with Ponytail's fishnets?

Sonia = angsty.

She says "If you value this marriage, you'll stay!"

Martin = slightly angsty.

Martin leaves.

Sonia = v. v. angsty.

[Kim]

I love this! Random thoughts rule! Please do more soon, I'm your biggest fan!

Yes, random thoughts rule, but my computer totally does not. It takes ages to read them because of my screen. And guess what my Dad does today....... buys a fridgefreezer. Man, I want a computer screen NOW! I shall stop going on about my screen now. These are looking great, looking forward to being able to read them properley when-. Ooops I have failed miserabley.

[feelingyellow]

Missed first 15 mins.

In the Minute Mart. Apparently we are in an ad for some random jar of sauce. Are these the new EE sponsors? Brad not-Pitt, Hole buys a top-shelf mag, the dirty boy. Jim, you are many things, but a caveman isn't one of them. As soon as Sonia gets outside she starts harmonizing about the jar of sauce again. What the hell is this?

Yay! A postcard from Kat and Alfie! They are apparently in Texas! The camera zooms in on the card, the producers' way of saying "LOOK! This show was interesting once!"

Ponytail... doesn't have a ponytail today. Aww. She'll have to have a new nickname. ...Nah. It's still, like, a metaphorical hairdo.

Sonia is staring at a kitchen knife like something out of Psycho. Eee! Eee! Eee! Eee! Naomi joins in. There is a chicken.

That restaurant again. Kev!Bev!'s eyes widen scarily. Ponytail whinges. Shut up, girl. Why does Nico seem to be turning into another Leo?

Brad Hole can't play poker OR CAN HE?! Mints foresees that the game will be like taking candy from a baby. I can see where this is going. Yawn.

Brasses? Naomi = angsty look @ Sonia. Oh God, not this again. In the Vic, Martin says "Let's play some cards!" in the same tone as "Unleash hell!" in Gladiator.

Hee at Patrick.

Sonia = angsty.

Nico turns up in the living room - wait, how did he get in there without them noticing? Ponytail and Nico make up.

Mints - "Why do you always show me up?!" to Garry... hee. Anyway, Brad Hole wins the game. I never saw that coming.

What's with Ponytail's fishnets?

Sonia = angsty.

She says "If you value this marriage, you'll stay!"

Martin = slightly angsty.

Martin leaves.

Sonia = v. v. angsty.

Fab as always! I was wondering the same with Ponytail's fishnets lol ... there was a like a close-up on them!

[feelingyellow]

Yes, random thoughts rule, but my computer totally does not. It takes ages to read them because of my screen. And guess what my Dad does today....... buys a fridgefreezer. Man, I want a computer screen NOW! I shall stop going on about my screen now. These are looking great, looking forward to being able to read them properley when-. Ooops I have failed miserabley.

Aww, you'll really enjoy them when you do and hope your screen gets fixed or something!

[crazy_purple]

There's a scruffy old guy at the tube station. Being the nice guy that he is, Brad Hole gives him some money because he thinks he's a beggar. Awww. But it turns out that the scruffy old guy is a Northerner. Well, that obviously explains everything. He calls Brad Hole a ponce, which is meeeean.

Sonia seems to have got over her angst and wants to snog Martin's face off. Martin objects to this.

Ponytail and Nico want to buy a flat. Is he insane? She can't even say his name right.

The scruffy old guy has a terrible taste in jumpers. He talks to Garry and basically tells him how much he hates all Londoners. Well, an obvious solution would be to... not go to London? Why doesn't Garry just punch him? Scruffy old guy flirts with Yolande and she actually seems interested - what the...?

Stacey and Brad Hole nearly get together but then they don't. I swear they're like the mini Kat and Alfie.

Scruffy old guy mentions barn dances. What with that and his cloth cap, horrible jumpers etc., we're suddenly in Emmerdale. Will someone please take note that not all people from the North are like this. I don't think I've ever been in a barn in my life and nobody I knows does that thing where they say "t'shop" instead of 'the'. Glad that's sorted.

Ponytail and Nico have a huge argument and he wants a divorce. Yay! Anyway, Kev!Bev! decides he can't go after all, and tells Deano "Phone Charlie Slater, tell him to unset his alarm clock. Parklife!" He does this weird thing where he rolls his eyes around like something from the Exorcist.

[feelingyellow]

Fabolous! Can't wait to see some more!

[crazy_purple]

A very dog-themed episode, for some reason.

Honey seems less annoying than I thought before, when compared to Ponytail. Billy is worried about the visit from Honey's dad. She kisses him and Billy makes a weird dog face, and I swear he looked like he said "ruff!"

Honey's dad arrives and he is teh funny. Peggy's seemingly disembodied head floats by his car window with her "angry hair". I like this guy. "We're not in Kansas anymore..." He also has a dog, but it isn't called Toto. Shame.

Billy will do "a chilli"? Blimey, that'll be hot. Does he mean a chilli con carne?

Mr Ben is sweet. Pauline calls Betty "mummy's baby girl" and entreats her to roll over so she can tickle her tummy. I think she has some issues. Bert appears and gets sprayed in the face for his trouble, with what I thought looked like bleach in the eyes. Ooh, Pauline! Vicious! Bert looks strangely like a big, scrawny, grey chicken.

Stacey tells Lil Mo to "shut up". Lil Mo looks very shocked and for whatever reason the camera zooms in on her face, like it was a duf-duf moment. Well... okay.

Peggy still hasn't gotten over Honey's dad's comments. What? They were quite funny.

Ponytail sobs "he's ruined everything!" No darling, that was you. Kev!Bev! tries to reassure her. For God's sake man, just slap her. Parklife!

Honey's dad pretends to be a plumber. He is another of the horrible jumpers brigade. I think he and Bert would get on. I liked Billy's comment about "nosedive off a flyover" God, I miss Andy now. Billy asks Mr Honey if his daughter's bloke (this gets confusing) is a "bit of a numpty". And then his apron. Yes, Bill.

Seeing as Pauline has just got back from her honeymoon, Martin thinks it would be mean to break the news just now, so he - no, wait. He just goes "Kathy's dead!" D'oh, again.

Stacey insists "We're just mates!" The infamous line! omg mini-Kalfie! I'm sorry. You know I'm ever so slightly obsessed.

"Demented gerbil". Perfect description of Peggy Actually, my sister had a demented gerbil once. We used to let it out for exercise in the bath (empty, obviously). It had a passion for biting your fingers and not letting go even when you tried to flick it across the room. Anyway... I have a new nickname for Peggy. Whooo. She asks "Am I short?" Bad question, D.G. Everybody pretends not to have heard.

Bert turns all nasty on Mr Ben and totally starts giving him evils and stuff. Bloody Northerners. Oh God, so nice Mr Ben seems to have a dark secret. Doe she have to?

Honey's keeping the baby a secret from Mr Honey, so obviously Billy will mention it to his 'plumber'. Ho hum. Billy is going on about Terence. What's with the dog theme tonight? Or is that just my imagination?

I like Lil Mo's purple coat.

Ponytail gets drunk and chucks a brick through Nico's front door, just at the moment that a police car drives up. I'm intrigued; did he call it? He probably got annoyed with his crazy snivelling wife standing out side screaming his name repeatedly and SAYING IT WRONG. That's even worse.

Mr Honey wields a plumbing thingy (possibly called a wrench, but what do I know?) menacingly at Billy.

Bert has bought Pauline one of those singing cod ornaments. I've always wanted one of those! She isn't very impressed. I'll have it!

I don't know what happened after this because I had to dash, but I'm betting Mr Honey had a hissy fit because of the baby and probably Honey went in and went "dad!" or something and then Billy = oops. That's without looking at the BBC site too - am I right am I right am I right? Please not that if I am then I'll jump up and start doing my "I was right!" dance. (Pretend like you're holding a stick horizontally in front of you with your fists together and make them go round in circles, while singing "I was right, I was right, uh huh, uh huh" Try it sometime. )

In other news, it's pancake day tomorrow omg yay! I'm also going lifesaving in PE so I may drown before I get to the pancakes. If that happens, I'm getting it put on my gravestone "RIP Kate T- She Did It For The Pancakes."

[feelingyellow]

That was fab! You were wrong about the Mr Honey thing though Please do more!