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Bryan
19-11-2005, 18:35
Little Britain music plays

V.O: Walford! Walford! Walford! Home to fat Pat Evans, the Arghee Barjhi, and Jonathaon Ross's mom! But who are the sad mad fools that live there? Come on lets get depressed!...

Scene One - Community Centre - Day

Pat, Charlie, Big Mo, Minty, and Dawn are sitting down waiting for someone to enter. In marches Marjories Dawes.

Marjorie: Whos a fat? Yousa fat? Whos a thin? Not you ya fat gits! Right pep talk over... hello folks and welcome to fat fighters... i am marjorie dawes, and im here for a newwww challenge

Big Mo: Why sacked by ya old gaff were ya?

Marjorie: And whoooo are youuuu?

Big Mo: Mo Harris

Marjorie: If ya must knowwww mooooo, i was let off for racism, fatism ya know the usual stuff, anyways im in walford now and lets hope we have a bita fun yeah? fun... dya know what that is? or has the fat left you a social retard?

Charlie: Hey watch it will you! We cant help it....

Marjorie: No of course you cant, its not your fault is it tubby? Its them chips for havin fat in them, and them cakes for having cream in them! how dare they! naughty foods! we need to give them a damn good spanking!

Pat: It isnt like that at all...

Marjorie: (looks at clipboard) and what would you know Pat...hey fat Pat...that rhymes...maybe i should be a poet instead of a fatfighters person, you fatties make me sick!

Pat: You ent that thin yaself darlin'

Marjorie: Get them party rings outta ya ears and listen up Pat.... just cus yave had 4 fat husbands in ya bed dont mean to say ya can have 4 fat meals in ya belly each day! dya understand?

Pat: Well...

Dawn: Leave off them yeah, theyre doing you a favour by being here...

Marjorie: Oh its little miss super model, and what are you doing here? thats not a single love handle in sight! we encourage weight loose her not weight gain!

Dawn: (laughs to self) you coulda fooled me!

Marjorie: You cheaky mare....well you are someat else! at least my boobs are real! 100% flesh! not a grain of sand shaking around my cleavage!

Dawn: Common guys we dont have to put up with this...

Everyone gets up from there seats and starts to leave...

Marjorie: Hey where are you all going? Hey im talking to you ya fat gits! How ya gonna loose weight without me!?

Marjorie sits down and binges on a chocolate eclair

xsoftladybugx
19-11-2005, 18:39
:rotfl: Thats really funny

Chris_2k11
19-11-2005, 18:45
Lmao! :D You've gotta carry this on Bryan! :cheer:

feelingyellow
19-11-2005, 19:05
:rotfl: that was fab! :thumbsup:

crazy_purple
19-11-2005, 19:12
:rotfl: That's really cool, please do more soon :p

Abi
19-11-2005, 20:29
:rotfl: Loved it!!!

melanielovesdennisrickman
19-11-2005, 21:31
Please do some more,it's soooooo funny:rotfl: :rotfl: !!

Layne
19-11-2005, 21:59
:lol: Lmao tis fab you have to do more! x

Kim
19-11-2005, 23:38
Thats Great:D. More soon please.

Rain_
20-11-2005, 06:38
I could see it in my head as i was reading it......hilarious!!!!

Chloe-Elise
20-11-2005, 11:30
:lol: Thats brilliant! More asap :D

Emma-Lou
20-11-2005, 13:43
:rotfl: thats really good do more soon please

Bryan
20-11-2005, 13:50
V.O: London is home to many a gay, but for some reason this welshman thinks he is the only one...

Scene 2 - Queen Vic - Day

Daffyd walks into the Queen Vic

Peggy: Alright Darling what can i get ya?

Daffyd: That's right take sympathy on the gay! Homophobe!

Peggy: Um... i was only wondering you wanted a drink...

Daffyd: We are entitled to drink you know, yeah i do...i shall have a bacardi and coke...

Peggy: Oh erm...

Daffyd: What seems to be the problem? am i not worthy of the service?

Peggy: No its just we dont do Bacardi and Coke...

Daffyd: why ever not?

Peggy: Well we dont have much demand for it around here...

Daffyd: What kind of establishment do you run here!? Honestly this is the cruelest form of homophpobia to deprieve me of my barcadi and coke...

Peggy: No it's just...

Daffyd: Face facts ya fat old lezzah i am the only gay in the borough!

Dot: Oh i say... that isnt true...

Daffyd: How dare you! I moved to London as my old village was becoming filled with them and i thought there wouildnt be any here...

Dot: Yeah well there was Derek, but he wasnt really "into it"

Peggy: Oh yeah and dont forget Tony and Simon....

Dot: And Barry and Colin before that...

Peggy: And well let you into a secret.... in a few weeks time that there Naomi will be one too...

Dot: Oh i say Peggy you cant say that!

Peggy: I just did...

Daffyd: My oh my! I always thoiught the day would come when i was no longer the only gay... what am i to do? Oh its such a hardnock life...

crazy_purple
20-11-2005, 15:57
:rotfl: That's ace, please do some more soon

Layne
20-11-2005, 16:11
:lol: fab more soon x

Chloe-Elise
20-11-2005, 16:31
:lol: Lmao,brilliant! More asap :D

big bro fan
20-11-2005, 17:02
i did something like this once on here but it wansnt very good more soon

feelingyellow
20-11-2005, 17:24
fab! :cheer: more soon please! :D

Kim
20-11-2005, 20:03
:cheer: . More soon please, this is ace.

the_watts_rule
21-11-2005, 17:06
Brilliant! Please do more!

melanielovesdennisrickman
21-11-2005, 18:14
That was great,please do some more soon!!:rotfl: :rotfl:

Bryan
22-11-2005, 17:22
V.O: Britain used to be filled with mods and rockers, but now they are filled with mini venomous little creatures known as chavs, these are a classic example:...

Ruby: So then I'm finally going to meet the mysterious Ric...

Stacey: If he shows, he said hed meet me in the square at 7, where is?

Into the gardens walks Vicky Pollard

Stacey: Oh god! It's his girlfriend...Vicky...

Vicky: You Stacey Slater!? Cus if ya are you is well gonna get beatings!

Stacey: Look Vicky i dont think you know...

Vicky: Yeah but no but i dont know nothing or nothing but i do but i dont, anyways Chelsea wrote on the toilet door that jack beaven had you know what with his pet hamster, and we told him and we went into phyco mod and beat up miss mcgregor, and we was like that's not fair just becuase she's ginger... but i was because she'd made us dissect hamsters for an english test!

Stacey: What's this got to do with Ric?

Vicky: Yeah but no but i was gonna get round to that if you gave me chance! And then we was all going mental, big riot and sunita burnt her knickers and said someat about someat...so i left and i got a bus and went to rics and i read his phone and then it says that you and him have been getting it on behind my back, but anyways im like that 'ent true becuase im too sexy for my shoes...

Stacey: (laughs to self) Yeah right....

Vicky: But anyways im well rid of him....cus ive been speaking to this bloke on the net, but i swear weve never sin each other, and hes saying i look beautiful, and he says he wants to marry me and we are gonna live together in bogna and have babies, but i was like ive already had twelves babies so i think wed better wait before we have sex.... and anyways he said he comes from around here so i might just move into walford!

Stacey: Oh no...

Ruby: Who is this bloke then?

Vicky: He said his name was Wellard or someat...

Stacey and Ruby laugh

Vicky: Yeah but dont go respecting the future mr pollard, cus you is well gonna get beatings from him...

Stacey: Wellard!? He's a dog...

Vicky: Your just healous cus i can pull the best looking bloke in londong and you have to go with ric who only likes slappers...

Stacey: No WEllard is a dog, as in the four legs woof woof kind...

Vicky: Oh...

Stacey: So you can go now...

Vicky: Yeah but no but i was gonna go anyways cus Walford is well rough and its like really boring and everyone smells and is boring, and i heard that some bloke got dug up in a cellar...anyways Walford is boring...im going home to watch Eastenders...

Ruby: East...what?

Vicky: Eastenders its good, you should watch it some time...

Kim
22-11-2005, 18:35
:rotfl: That's great. More soon please.

Chloe-Elise
22-11-2005, 19:40
:lol: Thats hilarious! Great writing, more soon please :D

feelingyellow
22-11-2005, 20:50
fab! wellard :rotfl: can't wait for the next part! :cheer:

the_watts_rule
23-11-2005, 13:02
That was great!

Angeltigger
23-11-2005, 15:40
They are good