I'm an idiot. I came back to Stoke for a flying visit so I could see The One That Got Away one last time at our leaving do (even though he's now living half an hour away from my home address). He was there. I ignored him for the first hour or so. It was only after 3/4 bottle of red wine (yes, I know...) that he came up to talk to me. We didn't talk about what happened a few months ago. He's now running a pub so he said I should visit him sometime. I said I can't get there easily (which is true) so he said he'd come pick me up. At that time food arrived. He sat at a different table. Shortly afterwards, he said his goodbyes. I asked him if he was going my way, he said yes so I asked him if I could jump in. He said that was fine. Ten minutes later he said he only has one spare seat and he's picking his mate up from Derby. It was the first time he's called me by my full name.

I thought I was over him and I could deal with seeing him. He's lost weight, he's had a hair cut, he looks better than ever. And I've gone and fallen for him again. I know that we can never be together, for various reasons, but that doesn't stop me feeling this way. I just can't help myself.

However my leaving speech was rubbish, I forgot everyone's name, I was (admittedly) drunk and probably slurred my words.

I think I've sobered up enough now. I'm peckish. Moved into my house yesterday. I didn't sleep well at all, due in part to a single pillow and also being in a strange house. I went shopping today and bought six pillows so hopefully with all this alcohol and pillows I should sleep better tonight. I have an early start tomorrow, getting the 9am train home (cheapest time of the day to travel) because its my nephew's baptism on Sunday. I'm going to be godmother.

As I'm the first to move in, I raided the house for the best furniture I can't wait to move in fully in a few weeks. I'm thinking about giving a set of drawers to my housemate so I can have a comfy chair or bean bags in one corner. My wardrobes are huge, I can't even open the top cupboards because they're so high.

Oh and I've discovered a new computer room in the library with widescreen TFT monitors and the fastest systems on the network I've been here two years and only just found this room! I love discovering secret places.