A glimpse into the future
Time has moved on and we are now in a prison somewhere in the Midlands. It is a new experimental prison where male and females are allowed to mix together.
In one cell are Gail and Tracy. Gail, of course, has never forgiven Tracy and refuses to speak to her. Tracy is still working on a plan to get early release so she can stop Becky from being happy.
In another cell are Tony and Lucas, both in for murder. They are not speaking either because Lucas just spends all day ranting and raving about God while Tony is just completely bonkers but no-one seems to have noticed, so he is languishing in prison instead of the mental hospital he should be in.
Next door to their cell are Ben and David. Ben, of course is in for grievous bodily harm while David is in for perjury and perverting the course of justice. He tells anyone who cares to listen that his mother is innocent, but, actually no-one cares to listen. Ben is a member of the prison corps de ballet. In fact he is the only member of the prison corps de ballet. They don’t get on either.
Further along the corridor are Nick, also in for perjury and perverting the course of justice as well as theft and Billy, in for tampering with the Royal Mail. Billy is forever moaning about his luck and asking Nick for money and gets quite angry when Nick tells him he has none.
Back in the female wing in another cell are Zoe and Sam, strangely enough next door to Chrissie. They communicate all day long by tapping Morse Code messages about Den Watts through the wall. In the same cell as Chrissie, though taking little part in the Morse Code messaging is Stacey, in for murdering Archie.
One day they all receive a visit from two television producers, who gather them all together in a room and tell them that as there are officially now more characters inside prison than on the Square or on the cobbles, they are going to axe Eastenders and Coronation Street and begin a new soap to be called “In it to Win it”, an everyday story of prison folk, who are forced to endure Dale Winton visiting as extra punishment.
Lucas thanks the Lord and Tony passes the ammunition.
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