Dear Diary

[Tannie]

Ok It's Me Again This Is Funnily Enough About Connie. Dunno If I Like it but told leanne i would post it so here it is

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I lie down on my bed on my stomach. Reach under it and pull out a pillow case and in it is my diary. The one thing I tell my secrets to. I grab my pen and think slowly of what to write I guess I should start from the start shouldn’t I?

Well when I was younger my mother was apparently in a mental hospital. She was that badly depressed and to tell you the truth I don’t know how. My father went to the bookies, pub and so on! Basically he tried to spend as much time away from home as he could. I would get sent off to my grandmas without a word of it. I just thought my dad was having an affair and that my mum couldn’t be bothered getting out of bed as she was so distraught. I haven’t or I didn’t speak to my father for 12 years. After the funeral of my mother. That was intill today. I was up as usual eight o’clock…ok make that half 5 then. The usual time Grace wakes up for her feed. So I fed her and as I couldn’t get back to sleep I went for a shower. And got ready for work well I wouldn’t really have been in the hospital as today was Diane’s funeral but to tell you the truth I didn’t get to see it. I then got Grace ready and carried her downstairs and placed her in her high chair while I made myself a quick cup of coffee. Just as the phone rang. I grimace as I make a face having just burnt myself. I walk into the hall my heels clacking on the laminated flooring and pick up the phone.

I hear Grace gurgle and I smile. I love her soooo much it’s unbelievable. I bring my concentration back to my diary.

I try and listen to what’s being said. My dad in hospital? What’s he done now? Does he even know they’re calling me? Bet you they don’t! He won’t want me to know. I Sigh as I place the phone down and try to think of who could possibly take Grace. I don’t want to drag her all the way down to Peckham just for my dad to act like he did at my mother’s funeral which if you ask me was not very well at all!

[Bree]

Wow love it tan bless connie cant wait for more so put your bum in gear and write some more

[CrazyLea]

Awww I love it Can't wait for the next part!!!

[Xx-Vicky-xX]

Ohhh very good do continue

[Tannie]

I parked my car and took the key from the ignition. I didn’t get out like I had intended to do. I just wanted to run away. What if he hadn’t changed, was the same way he was those many years back at her funeral. I sigh and step out. Locking the car behind me and straightening my suit out and walking into reception. To tell you the truth I looked the anyone vaguely dressed over the top. But from where I came from I wouldn’t call it over the top. Everyone well nearly everyone wore a suit to work. Only changed it when they were in theatre. I walked up the reception and asked where he was. It felt weird using my maiden name; I hadn’t used it since I had became a Beauchamp. I hadn’t really thought about changing it really. I liked it better this way it seems to have a sense of authority with it; a sense of power. Anyway got sidetracked there oops. So I walked up on to the ward and looked for him. There he was, hadn’t even bothered taking his jacket off it was just like he decided to come in for a check out. Such an Ungrateful git. So I walked over to him and he looked at me; he just looked at me without saying hello or anything. At that point the nurse walked over to give him a check – over and she asked who I was. He didn’t say anything so I replied with his daughter. And he looked at me with that look in his eyes. I ignored him and tried to get to the bottom of what was wrong with him. Is it really to much to ask to want a decent treatment for your father? Ok so I hadn’t spoken to him for a while but to tell you the truth I think somewhere deep down inside of me I still cared for him. He was still my father although a no good one at that. So it played like this for a while me trying to get better treatment and the nurse (rather a pain in the backside) tried to tell me she couldn’t do anything. Well to be precise I told her he was going to die so they better get themselves in gear. I walked back over to him at that point and asked him for the house keys

[CrazyLea]

Loved it Don't wait too long this time before the next part Can't wait for more. xx

[Tannie]

He looked at me like i was out of my mind; why would i want the house keys? I told him i was going to collect and over night bad for him. He said he didnt want an overnight bag. What so you're going to not shave or wash yourself while you're in here? i asked him coldly. He sighed and handed the keys; while issuing me a warnig, i wasn't to touch anything in the house oh and his bag was in under his bed and shaving kit was in the bathroom by the sink. I rolled my eye's he hadn't changed at all he was still the heatless selfish git he had been 12 years ago. I took the keys off him and grabbed my bag rom the table and walked out the hospital. Rummaged in my bag for my car keys and walked over to where i had parked the car. I opened the car and slipped into the drivers seat. Starting the engine up i reversed out and as soon as i could sped away from the hospital around the familiar streets of peckham. 5 Minuets later i was there parked outside the house. The house i had spent so many years in with my mother in her bedroom. Not cracking a smile but spending more time in bed, then with me. So i got shoved off to my grandma's. I shoved the thoughts out my head and turned the engine off. Stepping out the car, locking it behind me. I walked up to the front door and inserted the key in it. I turned it and opened it. Stepping over the threshold.

[CrazyLea]

REally love this . Love how you seem to have got Connie down to a tee in that episode. You seem to see what she went through. Nice one. x

[Tannie]

This Part Is Dedicated To My Only Loyal Reader Lea.

I looked around nothing had really changed much. The hall was in the same mess it was when i was 17. I remember packing up my bags. Ready to get as far away from this place as i possibly could. And be my own person. I Snapped out my thoughts and walked through to the living - room and sitting in it's usual place ontop of the fire place. She look's like me, just with longer hair and it was more curly. I sigh and head up the stairs, walked into his room, grabbed the over night bag from under the bed and started shoving things in that i knew he would need. I then headed into the bathroom joined onto the room and grabbed his shaving kit and was about to make my way downstairs when something caught my eye. I turned around and was faced with a white door and about three quater's of the way up a plaque which had my name on it. He hadn't taken it down. I slowly walked towards the door and placed my hand on the door knob and slowly turned it and walked slowly into my room. Correction my old room. My heels clack on the floor as i walk in, i look around and see some scrap books on my dressing table seat, and scrap pieces of old paper news articles around my mirror. I reach for one of the scrap books and open it while i sit on my bed. I flick through it but all i can see are articles of me. Why does he have these?

[CrazyLea]

Awwwww I like it again. I love how Connie is discovering her dad really does love her . Can't wait for more.