chapter 37

Despite Helens reassurances, Jess could not help feeling concerned about Kris being left in the room with them, she could not get over the heart broken look in his eyes when he had been sitting on the bench, she also could not help but remember back to all those years ago, when they were still at Hollyoaks, when the confrontation between Kris and his parents occurred, not long after Malachy had turned up in the village. To this day she could kick herself for making that mistake, sleeping with Kris’ brother to get back at Kris for him and Nathan, it made her feel cheap and guilty, and could not help but feel that way again when she was in the hospital room. She did not think he had recognised her before, and she was grateful for that, it had been years and years ago, but she knew it would be a matter of time before he realised she was the same Jess as the one all those years ago. She also could not help but be reminded the pain that she herself had inflicted on Kris by leaving how she did, and although things between her and Kris were better than she could have imagined, and was a dream come true, she still felt immense guilt, and she feared that would always remain, despite Kris’ reassurances that he had forgiven her and understood why she had did what she did.

Meanwhile back in Nana Collins room, questioning glances were exchanged between the family members, trying to work out who the little girl was that Kris was holding so tenderly in his arms. However Kris was oblivious to this, his attention was solely aimed at his Nan and daughter, alternately watching one and then the other sleeping, all the while gently running his fingers through the little girls hair.

Katie started to stir in her dad arms, bringing him out of his thoughts, he held her closer to him, “Hello sleepy head” The little girl looked up to him and beamed her smile, that was so identical to the one that usually occupied his face. She slowly looked around the room.
“Daddy?” the little girl questioned looking at Kris confused, as when she went to sleep she was in her own bed in Majorca, and now she was waking in her dads arms in a strange room with people she had no idea who they were
“Its ok angel,” he said reassuring her.
“Where’s mummy?”
“Mummy’s here” Jess replied as just at that moment, her and Helen walked in the door with everyone’s drinks.

Kris and Jess could not help but smile to themselves when they saw the shocked look on his parents and siblings faces, “Hello Katie, haven’t you grown” Helen said to the little girl, “Hi” she said shyly, then she hid her face into her daddy’s neck “You remember Aunt Helen don’t you, Katie? She visited with Nana Collins a while back” Kris asked, Katie slowly looked back towards the old lady and slowly recognised her, and gave her a smile and a wave. Just as she did this, Jess passed Kris his coffee, as Helen gave the rest of the drinks out, “Katie, you thirsty, do you want some juice”, Kris asked
“Yes please daddy” she said whilst leaning over towards where Jess had placed the juice.
“Careful Katie, daddy’s got a hot drink, you don’t want to burn yourself on it”
“OK mommy”
Helen sat back in her seat, to the one side of Kris, and Jess had sat in a chair to Kris other side, when she did he put his arm around Jess, and she leant towards him and their child, laying her head on his shoulder, and he leant his head on top of hers and kissed her hair, Helen looked on at the young family with a smile, and the rest of those in the room, looked on with a shocked amazement.

They sat like that for a good 20 minutes or more, the whole room was quiet, apart from the odd question from Katie, then Nana Collins started to wake, this time you could tell she was getting weaker, her breathing was more laboured, each breath became more difficult and painful for her. She turned her head whilst lying in her bed to see all the occupants in the room, eventually she was facing Kris, Jess and Katie,
“You made it here” she struggled to say, “I am glad you two made it, I’ve been waiting” Jess was honoured by the statement, “Take care of him for me Jess, he is not as strong as he likes to make out,”
“I will, I promise” Jess replied tearfully.
“Be happy the three of you, you deserve it, take care of each other” she said quietly, “We will Nana, I promise” stated Kris, crying as he knew it was close to the end “I love you” “I love you too” And with that, she peacefully passed over.

It was then that everyone in the room realised that she had fought to stay alive those last few hours, so she could make sure Kris was not alone, and so she could see her great grandchild for the very last time.

chapter 38

They all sat in the room crying quietly. Jess had moved from her seat beside Kris and was kneeling beside him, embracing him and their child completely, as Kris sobbed into her shoulder. “I’m here sweetie, I’m here,” she said as she was soothing Kris. The hospital staff came in and out of the room, declaring her time of death, checking the readings from the machines etc, but Kris was oblivious to everything but his grief and his two angels.

Shortly afterwards, they all left the hospital, Kris, Jess and Katie walked with Helen towards her car, to go to her cottage in a village on the outskirts of Belfast. The car ride was silent, all of them locked in their own thoughts and feelings.

Eventually they arrived at the cottage, Jess could not help but admire the pretty little cottage, they had been at the hospital all night, and they arrived at the cottage at sunrise, none of them wanted to do anything though, all had been exhausted from the emotions of the night. Helen showed Jess and Katie around the cottage whilst Kris made them all a cup of tea, he new the cottage like the back of his hand, as this was where he would escape to as a child or teenager when he had fallen out with his parents, so he would either come here or to his Nans house around the corner in the same village. They were his escape, and both accepted him for who he was and what he was, and the only people before he had met Jess that did. He knew he would miss his Nan terribly, however he remembered what she had said, and he knew she was right, he was never alone, he had Jess, Katie and Aunt Helen, and he liked to think that some how Nana Collins was still with him too, watching down on them.

After they had drank the tea, they all decided to have a lie down as they had no sleep during the night.

Kris and Jess were lying in each other’s arms on the top of the bed, all the while Jess was stroking Kris hair, “How are you feeling Kris?” she asked full of concern
“Honestly? I don’t know, I just wish she was here still”
“I know sweetie, I know”
Jess and Kris lay talking for an hour or so, Kris telling Jess about stories of him and his Nan as he was growing up, of the laughter, the games, the arguments, the teasing. The memories soon got too much for Kris so, as he ended up breaking down in tears, sobbing into Jess’ neck, whilst she held him, comforting him, and knowing she could not give him the one thing he wanted, his Nan back on this earth.