A BUMPY RIDE
By Tony Stewart 05/05/2007
Tempers flair between Max and Tanya in Eastenders
AFTER his frequent secret trysts in the Vic toilets and squashed up in his Mercedes sports car, it was only a question of time before cheating Max Branning was caught out by wife Tanya.
Armed with the receipt from – appropriately enough in the circumstances – the ‘House Of Liaisons Dangereux Exclusive Lingerie’, a rogue blonde hair on his jacket, and a voicemail message, Tanya believes she has got him bang to rights.
After Max deliberately has a row at his birthday dinner on Thursday so he can sneak off to his new love nest with Stacey, Tanya is furious when he returns with an apology and a pathetic bunch of flowers. ‘I know, Max,’ she cries, launching herself out of the house and across the Square. ‘I know your dirty, filthy little secret.’
But barging into Fat Pat’s house and accosting Carly proves that Tanya is well off the mark. ‘I know what you been doin’, you dirty little slag,’ she shouts. ‘Givin’ ’im a birthday treat, were yer?’
With powerhouse performances by Jo Joyner as Tanya and Jake Wood as scheming Max, Thursday and Friday’s episodes are classic Enders at its superlative best.
But amid the hysterics, violence and recriminations, there are a series of revelations. And the biggest is Tanya admitting that she’s pregnant but that she intends to have a termination the next day.
‘I don’t want another baby with a man like you,’ she sobs. ‘How can I possibly ’ave another child with a man I can’t trust an inch?’
At least she’s got that right.
ALSO:
The hilarious feud between Beale The Squeal and Phil Mitchell continues throughout the week, with Phil having Ian’s back passage bricked up – to his house, of course – and Bealey retaliating by blocking the Vic bogs with cement. When he refuses to pay the bill, his weasley head is shoved into a bowl of dirty washing-up water. ‘I ain’t even started wiv you,’ Phil growls. ‘By the time I’ve finished wiv you, you’ll be beggin’ for mercy.’ Oh, this just gets better all the time…
Mirror