God bored the other night and wrote this, urm no idea why or how, well there is a reason but yeh anyway But please comment ..... Oh and tis just a random person not based on anyone ...etc!
A Lost Miracle
I stand there, looking down at the small brown box. People are reading, paying their respects, but their words don't even enter my mind. I am just stood completely frozen, my eyes solely fixed on that box. I can't believe this is happening, i mean no one ever can imagine this day.
I was so happy when I found out I was pregnant, 3 years of trying and finally I had the chance of becoming the mommy i had always dreamt of being. The pregnancy went fine, great in fact.
And so on the 21st November 2005, my little Ellie-Grace was born. And along with my wedding day it was the happiest day of my life, probably the most tiring but defiantly the happiest.
And as I looked down into her gorgeous little green eyes, all the pain and upset I went through those past 3 years faded, all I saw was our future. We were finally a family.
She was the most gorgeous baby; a head full of light brown curls, and those gorgeous green eyes, and her smile, and her little giggle, she was perfect, my perfect miracle.
And now she’s gone, she’s not here anymore. My baby is gone.
I feel his arms wrap around me and grip my shoulder, comforting me, I can hear him sobbing, I can feel his pain, but still, I just stand and stare.
I never even knew she was sick, not until it was too late anyway. All those bloody doctors and not even one noticed anything. I was not a bad mother, I loved my little girl more than anything, but there were no obvious symptoms that I would of noticed apparently, but why didn’t in notice, she was my daughter I should of known.
She died in hospital, right there in front of me.
My baby was taken from me on the 19th November 2006, 2 days before her very first birthday.
The service is nearing an end now, I still just stare at the little brown box, but the words that are now being spoken no longer go straight over me, they are entering my head, I am listening to them.
“And so our little Ellie-Grace was cruelly taken away from us”
“No,” I didn’t realise I ad said it quite so loud, the gathering of people had gone even quieter than they were before, the vicar had stopped talking., the grip on my shoulder suddenly became tighter, he whispered something to me, but I just blocked it out, the vicar’s words just kept replaying in my head.
“No, she wasn’t your little Ellie-Grace, and she wasn’t cruelly taken away from you. She was mine. She was my little Ellie-Grace, and she was taken away from me.”
I feel my eyes welling up, my hands starting to shake, but my eyes still fixed upon that tiny box.
“Taken away from me”
The tears start to pour, my hands shaking uncontrollably.
“It’s not fair, why me, what have I ever done wrong, all I ever wanted was her, and now she has gone.” I fall to the floor, unable to control my tears and emotion.
No parent should have to bury their own child – it just isn’t right.