eastenders comedy

[crazy_purple]

Yay. What did you think of the 6th form thing? Me and my mum started counting how many times Mr Blackledge said "Er" or "erm" in his speech, I ended up laughing like you did in Blue Banana which was not good.

(No script tonight, folks, I didn't catch the episode...)

[crazy_purple]

This is a random script I felt like doing - for anyone who might have missed the Kalfie saga , or wanted to see the funny side... It'll be split up into many parts.

------------

*ALFIE is chucked off the tube for not having a ticket - naughty boy - and ends up in Walford*
ALFIE: Ooh, this looks nice and quiet.
THE RESIDENTS: Hahahahaha....
*ALFIE proceeds to set up his "cheeky chappy" status by fooling MARTIN. Several times.*
ALFIE: What? It's not exactly difficult.
*He wanders into the Vic*
PEGGY: Ooh, you're the new manager, aren't you?
ALFIE: ...Why, yes.
*He gets to grips behind the bar. Later, KAT comes in, squee.*
ALFIE: *sees her* Right, we've got a new offer on: the first lady to give me a peck on the cheek gets a free drink! *looks at her hopefully*
KAT: *gives him the deadeye*
ALFIE: Ah, it was love at first sight.
KAT: *to CHARLIE* Who's that weirdo behind the bar?
CHARLIE: The new manager, your soulmate.
KAT: Pfft.

*KAT gets a job in the Vic and she and ALFIE soon become the best of friends.*
KAT: You freak.
ALFIE: You weirdo.
KAT: Tee hee.
ALFIE: C'mere! *"friendly" hug*
KAT: Yay!

[feelingyellow]

This is a random script I felt like doing - for anyone who might have missed the Kalfie saga , or wanted to see the funny side... It'll be split up into many parts.

------------

*ALFIE is chucked off the tube for not having a ticket - naughty boy - and ends up in Walford*
ALFIE: Ooh, this looks nice and quiet.
THE RESIDENTS: Hahahahaha....
*ALFIE proceeds to set up his "cheeky chappy" status by fooling MARTIN. Several times.*
ALFIE: What? It's not exactly difficult.
*He wanders into the Vic*
PEGGY: Ooh, you're the new manager, aren't you?
ALFIE: ...Why, yes.
*He gets to grips behind the bar. Later, KAT comes in, squee.*
ALFIE: *sees her* Right, we've got a new offer on: the first lady to give me a peck on the cheek gets a free drink! *looks at her hopefully*
KAT: *gives him the deadeye*
ALFIE: Ah, it was love at first sight.
KAT: *to CHARLIE* Who's that weirdo behind the bar?
CHARLIE: The new manager, your soulmate.
KAT: Pfft.

*KAT gets a job in the Vic and she and ALFIE soon become the best of friends.*
KAT: You freak.
ALFIE: You weirdo.
KAT: Tee hee.
ALFIE: C'mere! *"friendly" hug*
KAT: Yay!

lol can't wait for more of this!

[crazy_purple]

ALFIE: Kat! What's up?
KAT: *crying* Well me and Anthony went for a drink and then I had an affair with my daughter's kind-of-boyfriend!
ALFIE: Oops.
KAT:But then I dumped him!
ALFIE: Yikes.
KAT: And now I'm pregnant!
ALFIE: ...

KAT: I'm not having this baby.
ALFIE: You totally should because I love you I will stick by you and love your child as though it were my own I wish it was even though it's the local doctor's, and we're "just friends". Bah.
KAT: ...Okay, maybe I'll keep it.

*But then tragedy strikes and KAT loses the baby, woe. And that is in no way funny at all.*
KAT: *cries*
ALFIE: *hugs her, aww*
*The next day*
ALFIE: Are you okay?
KAT: *applying makeup* I'm perfectly fine. *Except she totally isn't because the makeup is symbolically covering up all the metaphorical bruises and pain and blee; and I should really stop reading so much into a bit of foundation I WANNA DO PSYCHOLOGY, OKAY?*

[feelingyellow]

aww that was so good! like the way you handled kat's lost of her baby

[crazy_purple]

ALFIE: Kat, I know you're not okay.
KAT: You're right. I'm not okay! Forget about the dirty looks, the photographs your boyfriend took, remember when you broke your foot by jumping out the second floor, I'M NOT OKAY!
ALFIE: ...
KAT: Damn you, sexy Gerard Way!
ALFIE: Look, one day you'll meet a lovely bloke me who'll love you me and you'll get married ME and have loads of cute babies TOTALLY ME.
KAT: Awww... *sniffling*
ALFIE: But now, you must go on holiday.
KAT: Okay, I guess...
*Awkward hug*

ALFIE: I miss Kat... *cries*

*KAT comes back, they have a random party, ALFIE is over the moon (hee) to see her, but the lights go out. KAT climbs a ladder to fix them, while ALFIE holds the bottom of it.*
KAT: *jokily* This is how it should be... you at my feet.
ALFIE: *squeak*

[crazy_purple]

Can I just take a minute to say YAY CRAZY DOCTOR WHO DAVID TENNANT SQUEEE! Ahem.

[feelingyellow]

lol, yes you can take a minute to say that

aww, was so fab ... at my feet lol!

[crazy_purple]

*KAT tries on a dress*
KAT: Alfie, will you do this zip up? I can't reach.
ALFIE: *needs a cold shower*

NANA: You're in love with her, aren't you?
ALFIE: *guiltily* Who? No. Not at all.
*This goes on for quite a while, until...*

KAT: Argh! My ankle! *falls over dramatically*
*ALFIE carries her up the stairs and lays her on the sofa gently*
NANA: Tee hee.
ALFIE: What? *glances at KAT, heart melts* Oh, damn.
NANA: Well well well. Wellity wellity wellity.
ALFIE: *sobs* You're right! I can't bear this anymore! I LOVE HER!
NANA: Finally. Face it, you'll never get anywhere without me when I die in two years.
ALFIE: What?
NANA: Nothing.

[feelingyellow]

keep this up, i loved the nana comment and *alfie needs a cold shower*