This is a comedy version of each Eastenders episode - I used to do them on the BBC forums before they closed, and I liked writing them so I thought I'd start again I'll do a trial thingy here first to see if you like them or not this is of the August 9th episode
(In the squat)
Demi: This is ‘opeless.
Leo: It ain’t! We’ll be all right.
Demi: There’s no milk powder left for Aleesha!
Leo: *mumbles* I was hungry...
Demi: What?
Leo: “I’m sorry”.
Demi: It don’t change anything! We -
Random prostitute: Mornin’.
Demi: Er...
(In the Vic)
Dennis: Where’s Den? You must know something.
Chrissie: I don’t know anything.
Dennis: Oh, come on. Don’t make me take off my shirt.
Chrissie: ....I beg your pardon?
Dennis: I will, you know.
Chrissie: What the-?
Dennis: *whispers* You know you want me Chrissie. And I don’t blame you. I want me
too.
Chrissie: *jumps up* I think I’ll be leaving now!
Dennis: Noooooo! Come baaaack! You haven’t seen my six-pack yet! Waaait!
(In the cafe)
Minty: What are you doing tonight?
Emma: *quickly* Sleeping.
Minty: Nothing else?
Emma: Uh... Washing my hair?
Minty: Oh. You can’t come over to mine then?
Emma: I can, I just... would rather not.
Minty: Eh?
Emma: I’m really sorry, Minty... but I just don’t fancy you. Anyway, byeee! *leaves*
Minty: OMFG! Dumped! *cries* Rejected! *weeps* Cast off! *sobs* .... Ah well.
Please tell me what you think, I'll do a bit more if you want