Definitions

[Luna]

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS
40-ish...........................49
Adventurous...............Slept with everyone
Athletic.......................No tits
Average looking.........Ugly
Beautiful....................Pathological liar
Contagious Smile......Does a lot of pills
Emotionally Secure...On medication
Feminist......................Fat
Free spirit................Junkie
Friendship first.......Former slut
Fun.....................Annoying
New-Age...................Body hair in the wrong places
Old-fashioned..........No BJs
Open-minded............Desperate
Outgoing...................Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate.................Sloppy drunk
Professional..............Bitch
Voluptuous................Very Fat
Large frame.............Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate.....Stalker


WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = You're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH:

1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = Let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out for a KFC ? = I'd like to have sex with you
11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay

[alan45]

Now I realise where I have been going wrong all these years

[Chloe O'brien]

Luna you're not going to believe this but one of the guys in the office gave me a copy of the exact same post yesterday afternoon.

[alan45]

Luna you're not going to believe this but one of the guys in the office gave me a copy of the exact same post yesterday afternoon.

Was tah before or after he tried out some of the lines on you Kath