Jokes

[Perdita]

Teacher:

Little Johnny, can you tell me the name of 3 great kings who have
brought happiness and peace into people's lives ?


Little Johnny answered:

Drin-king, Smo-king, and Bon-king.

[JustJodi]

Teacher:

Little Johnny, can you tell me the name of 3 great kings who have
brought happiness and peace into people's lives ?


Little Johnny answered:

Drin-king, Smo-king, and Bon-king.

bawahahahahahhahahaaha

[JustJodi]

5 OLD LADIES



Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 KPH.Says he to himself: "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!"
So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over.Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies,
two in the front seat and three in the back...wide eyed and white as ghosts.

The driver, obviously confused, says to him "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit!
What seems to be the problem?"

"Ma'am," the officer replies, "you weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers."

"Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly...Twenty-two kilometers an hour!" ..the old woman says a bit proudly.

The Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that 22 is the highway number, not the speed limit.

A bit embarrassed, the woman grins and thanks the officer for pointing out her error.

"But before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask...Is everyone in this car OK? These women seem awfully shaken, and they haven't made a peep this whole time," the officer asks.

"Oh, they'll be all right in a minute officer. We just got off Highway 189.."

[pipette]

Little Johnny: "May I go to the toilet Miss"
Teacher: "Alright but first can you say the alphabet for me"
so little Johnny goes
"a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z"
Teacher: "Very good Johnny but where wasd the p"
Little Johnny "Running down my legs Miss"

LFC FOR LIFE YNWA JFT96

[Katy]

two men were in a cemetry admiring some of the graves. One was suddenly shocked, ah pal you will never believe this, a man here died when i was a 156!

Really said his mate, what was his name?

Miles from London

[Perdita]

An old man and woman were married for many years, even though they hated each other. Whenever there was a confrontation, yelling could be heard deep into the night.

The old man would shout, 'When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!'

Neighbors feared him and believed he practiced magic, because of the many strange occurrences that took place in their neighborhood.

To everyone's relief, he died of a heart attack when he was 98. His wife had a closed casket at the wake. After the burial, she went straight to the local bar and began to party as if there was no tomorrow. Her neighbors, concerned for her, asked, 'Aren't you afraid that he may be able to dig his way out of the grave and haunt you for the rest of your life?'

The wife put down her drink and said, 'Let him dig. I had him buried upside down.' And you know men won't ask for directions...

[JustJodi]

After being married for 40 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day andsaid ..... "Forty years ago we had a cheap house, a junk car, slept on a sofa bedand watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night witha hot 23-year-old girl. Now ... I have a $500,000.00 home, a $35,000.00 car, a nice big bed and alarge screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 63-year-old woman. It seems to me that you're not holding up your side of the deal." My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 23-year-old girl and she would make surethat I would once again be living in a cheap house, driving a junk car, sleepingon a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV. Aren't older women great?They really know how to solve an old guy's problems.

[Perdita]

Husband Throwing Darts At His Wife’s Photo And Not Even A Single One Hitting The Target..
From Another Room Wife Called The Husband : “Honey What Are You Doing..
Husband: “MISSING YOU”..

[Perdita]

Next time you use a pair of rubber gloves, you're going to smile when you think of this:

A dentist noticed that his next patient, a little old lady, was
nervous, so he decided to tell her a little joke as he put on his gloves..

'Do you know how they make these gloves?' he asked.

'No, I don't,' she replied.

'Well,' he spoofed, 'there's a building in Canada with a big tank of latex, and workers of all hand sizes walk up to the tank, dip in their hands, let them dry, then peel off the gloves and throw them into boxes of the right size.'

She didn't crack a smile.

'Oh, well. I tried,' he thought.

But five minutes later, during a delicate portion of the procedure, she burst out laughing.

'What's so funny?' he asked.

'I was just envisioning how condoms are made!'

[morel]

nice one
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the
other is a husband.
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