A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during
a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had
taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
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After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver
found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting
from Harareto Bulawayohad escaped. Not wanting to admit his
incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone
waiting there a free ride.
He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the
staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre
fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
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A mother took her daughter to the doctor and asked him to give her an
examination to determine the cause of her daughter's swollen abdomen.
It only took the doctor about 2 seconds to say, "Your daughter is
pregnant." The mother turned red with fury and she argued with the
doctor that her daughter was a good girl and would never compromise her
reputation by having sex with a boy.
The doctor faced the window and silently watched the horizon. The mother
became enraged and screamed, "Quit looking out the window! Aren't you
paying attention to me?"
Yes, of course I am paying attention ma'am. It's just that the last time
this happened, a star appeared in the East, and three wise men came. And
I was hoping that they would show up again.
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When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at its intended victim
during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would be robber James Elliot
did something that can only inspire wonder: He peered down the barrel
and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
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The chef at a hotel in Switzerlandlost a finger in a meat-cutting
machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his
insurance company. The company, suspecting negligence, sent out one of
its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine out and lost a
finger. The chef's claim was approved.
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A passenger in a taxi tapped the driver on the
shoulder to ask him something. The driver screamed, lost control of the
cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb, and stopped just inches
from a large plate glass window.For a few moments everything was silent
in the cab, then the driver said, " Please, don't ever do that again.
You scared the daylights out of me."The passenger, who was also
frightened, apologized and said he didn't realize that a tap on the
shoulder could frighten him so much, to which the driver replied, "I'm
sorry, it's really not your fault at all. Today is my first day driving
a cab. I have been driving a hearse for the last 25 years."
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