missing those fun ferreiras already.......
the simpsons the waltons the osbournes the royles the trotters.
all great tv familys.
but today we salute the most memorable of the lot.
the ferreiras.
all singing all dancing all unemployed.this week they finally escaped the nuclear winter of walfords laugh factory.where shoplifting little toe rags out number the rest of the cast 14-1.
and the name ferreira can now never be mentioned again in eastenders or the bbc1 corridors.
however,ronny,tatiq,kareena,little richard and the other one can at least take comfort from the massive comic legacy they leave behind.
and its hard to believe it was only june 2003 when they first appeared in albert square.because having watched every wretched,sodding episode,it seems giant tortoise years last longer.
but immediate impressions,back then,were that many viewers might think it odd that the ferreiras were hindu,catholic,portugeuse,north african and indians.and some asian fans might be offended that they had zero personality and negative charisma.
but hey,aunties right on scriptwriters know best,so they were in like a bullet,with the saga of.... shirleys noisy neighbour.
DOOMED!
this was followed,in no order of anything,by three months of ronnies kidney transplant,mortgage arrears and the seismic moment they named toucan cars after a pair of novelty slippers.along the way,dan,mum,queen vic football team,diwalli and lional the pet snake have also appeared.and then vanished in to thin air.
poor sods,with material like that they were doomed from the word go.however,the one opportunity to salvage some dignity appeared when they sent kareena away for a makeover as a 18-30 rep.
three months later she reappeared - and this is the 'genius' of eastenders - was still a virgin. and with that the ferreiras were lost forever.
eastenders didnt even give them a dignified send off story. just some hastily contrived,make no sense,written on the back of a fag packet,car insurance plot.
which meant -at 7.46 they were merrily boring everyone to death in the vic.by 7.54? they'd scarpered(only luggage?themselves) and eastenders would probebly like to think its woken up at the end of a very bad dream.
yet for the dwindling band of viewers,our nightmare goes on.
else where this week everyone had to pretend they fancied jonny allens new midget girlfriend (tina turnoff) there was a rush at the launderette. and ian beale got a black eye that came and went like a allergic reaction.
continuity is still shot to hell,stories fester,people buy houses out the blue(with no money) everything at the minute mart now costs £4.50.
and if you think the ferreiras were the cause of ee's problems and not just a symptom of the show in dangerous decline,then chew on this line from pauline and martin and sonias on going mortgage howitzer.
'hey.have you seen this article? its about a high interest savings account,just the thing for a couple on a limited income'
who gives you ex-tra?
eastenders doesn't.
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