School play v's footie match

My son's school play is on mon and tues night next week,he hasnt a big part and has about 2 lines to read.His footie team have just announced that there last game of the season is on mon night so itl mean missing the play.We have asked him what he'd prefer to do and he has of course opted for footie as means the world to him and he has scored every game his season (hat trick today!)
I dont mind which he chose at all but the school seem to think he has got to be there and we have let them down at the last minute.Is it neccessary for him to be there? It is a after school thing after all so it isnt a requirement is it? They have basically said he cant go to football as he is in the play but what right have they got? He is my son! It is a after school activity ! They have just made me more determined to let him go footie.
What do you guys think?
Also surely they have got back ups in case a child is ill or something ?

Well they dont have any right really, but when your son said hed be in the play he then kinda agreed that he would do the practises and stuff, so I think its wrong that he is now not going to do it, and the school will probs remeber it aswell that he let them down at the last minute, but its obviously what your son prefers but I think its wrong him not doing it.

I dont know how old your son is by the way

Was there no notice of dates for the play given out that way if the after school club had said the play would be held on the same days at footie then you could suggested your son doesn't take part. Although it's only a couple of lines your son really has committed to taking part unless they can give someone else extra lines to do. I can't see your son getting out of it.

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Originally Posted by samantha nixon

Well they dont have any right really, but when your son said hed be in the play he then kinda agreed that he would do the practises and stuff, so I think its wrong that he is now not going to do it, and the school will probs remeber it aswell that he let them down at the last minute, but its obviously what your son prefers but I think its wrong him not doing it.

I dont know how old your son is by the way

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He is 8,he wasnt given a choice of being in it,they are all just made too,assuming they will be free that night,the parents dont get asked or anything.Im not going to make him miserable by making him go to something he doesnt want to do,he can still be in the play tues night but he would prefer o do footie and not let his team down.

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Originally Posted by Chloe O'brien

Was there no notice of dates for the play given out that way if the after school club had said the play would be held on the same days at footie then you could suggested your son doesn't take part. Although it's only a couple of lines your son really has committed to taking part unless they can give someone else extra lines to do. I can't see your son getting out of it.

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They told us the dates about 2 weeks ago which wasnt a problem then but now the footie match has been moved.He didnt ask to be in the play,they are all made too,assuming you are all free on that night.He wont be going anyhow,he has decided footie and it is more important to him so he will be going to that regardless of how the school feels.He is my son so i think it is my decision not theres.

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Originally Posted by chance

not let his team down.

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so its ok for him to let his school down then :confused:
like you say hes your son so hel do what you or he wants, but i still think its out of order

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Originally Posted by samantha nixon

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Originally Posted by chance

not let his team down.

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so its ok for him to let his school down then :confused:
like you say hes your son so hel do what you or he wants, but i still think its out of order

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I think it's a bit different,his team he will prob be with for years,this is just a school play and there will be plenty more.It is the last match of the season and determines 1st or 2nd in the table.
I don't really give two hoots about letting the school down to be honest,im more interesed in whether i'd be letting my son down.
Also i have two other kids and the school have requested on play night that they dont want younger children there because of noise etc which is understandable but what do you do if you have no one to look after them? So another plus in he footie box is that we can all go.
I personally dont think its out of order,we didnt sign up for the play,they can't
just assume you will drop everything else for it.
So yes he will do what i say and not what the teachers dictate.

God I'm really confused. If its an after school play why are the teachers involved. Marley goes to the after school club everyday but they don't do plays or shows it's part of the main school, and they have performances in the afternoon and evening to accomodate parents who may have other committments. Is the football team conected to the school as I find it difficult to understand that both would clash. I can understand your concerns Chance that your Son prefers footie to drama but I don't get that all kids had to take part whether they wanted to or not.

No the footie team isnt anything to do with school.They have been practicing the play at school and are performing at night,mon and tues nights.Just the fact he goes to school meant he was in the play,we wernt given an option of being in it or not.

i dont get why you wouldnt have a choice whether your child is in the play or not though, as like you say it isnt compulsory

well it sounds like you had no objections to him being in the play until you found out it clashed with the changed football game and that the teachers were telling you what to do

at the end of the day if you break your promise, and take him out of the play, you will be upsetting the teachers, who may hold it against you in the future. if your son is 8 he has a few more years at that school, and the teachers could make it awkward for both you and him for the remainder, is your son's education worth risking over a game of football?

you made your comitment to the play, it seems very unfair to pull out last minute because of another changed comitment.

but at the end of the day, the choice is yours, but either way someone's gonna get upset.

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Originally Posted by bondboffin

well it sounds like you had no objections to him being in the play until you found out it clashed with the changed football game and that the teachers were telling you what to do

at the end of the day if you break your promise, and take him out of the play, you will be upsetting the teachers, who may hold it against you in the future. if your son is 8 he has a few more years at that school, and the teachers could make it awkward for both you and him for the remainder, is your son's education worth risking over a game of football?

you made your comitment to the play, it seems very unfair to pull out last minute because of another changed comitment.

but at the end of the day, the choice is yours, but either way someone's gonna get upset.

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Thats what I was trying to say lol, you just put it a better way, I think his education and school is more important than football

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Originally Posted by bondboffin

well it sounds like you had no objections to him being in the play until you found out it clashed with the changed football game and that the teachers were telling you what to do

at the end of the day if you break your promise, and take him out of the play, you will be upsetting the teachers, who may hold it against you in the future. if your son is 8 he has a few more years at that school, and the teachers could make it awkward for both you and him for the remainder, is your son's education worth risking over a game of football?

you made your comitment to the play, it seems very unfair to pull out last minute because of another changed comitment.

but at the end of the day, the choice is yours, but either way someone's gonna get upset.

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I didnt promise he would be in it though,it wasnt discussed wtih parents or teacher..I would rather upset the teacher then my son.I want to go for whats most important to him and thats his football not the play.I made no commitment to the play,as ive said we wernt asked they just gave him apart and assumed we would be free that night.

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Originally Posted by samantha nixon

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Originally Posted by bondboffin

well it sounds like you had no objections to him being in the play until you found out it clashed with the changed football game and that the teachers were telling you what to do

at the end of the day if you break your promise, and take him out of the play, you will be upsetting the teachers, who may hold it against you in the future. if your son is 8 he has a few more years at that school, and the teachers could make it awkward for both you and him for the remainder, is your son's education worth risking over a game of football?

you made your comitment to the play, it seems very unfair to pull out last minute because of another changed comitment.

but at the end of the day, the choice is yours, but either way someone's gonna get upset.

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Thats what I was trying to say lol, you just put it a better way, I think his education and school is more important than football

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This is a play we are talking about here.. a play may i add about bugs..it has nothing to do with his education and wont contribute to his learning.He is a smart kid and in the top classes so im sure a one liner in a play wont harm him in the future.

When I was in Junior school we also HAD to do school plays. EVERYONE had to be in them whether you wanted to or not! I agree with you chance, especially as he only has about 2 lines! They aren't going to miss him! Someone else can read those lines. When someone wasn't there in Junior school after "committing" to it, they didn't make their school life bad.. they just accpeted it. To make school life awkward for an 8 year old, just for not being in a play would be disgusting. Glad my old school wasn't like that! I say go for your sons wishes. Like you say, he's probably going to be in the team for many years, and it's a passion of his, why should he give up something he's interested in, just for some daft school play. I HATED the school plays we HAD to do. And they won't affect his future. Unless maybe he wants to act in the future :p :searchme:, which by the sounds of it he doesn't. Don't worry about it Chance. I think you are in no wrong.

I know for a fact that if connor was in a school play and it was same day as his taekwondo testing, which we only get about a week and a half notice for, i know he would rather do the tkd testing and as his mum i would tell the teachers that sorry but this is a out of school interest which he enjoys and that is more important!

Im lucky connors school only do plays during school hours but its up to your son what he would rather do and if its football that tough on school!

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Originally Posted by CrazyLea

When I was in Junior school we also HAD to do school plays. EVERYONE had to be in them whether you wanted to or not! I agree with you chance, especially as he only has about 2 lines! They aren't going to miss him! Someone else can read those lines. When someone wasn't there in Junior school after "committing" to it, they didn't make their school life bad.. they just accpeted it. To make school life awkward for an 8 year old, just for not being in a play would be disgusting. Glad my old school wasn't like that! I say go for your sons wishes. Like you say, he's probably going to be in the team for many years, and it's a passion of his, why should he give up something he's interested in, just for some daft school play. I HATED the school plays we HAD to do. And they won't affect his future. Unless maybe he wants to act in the future :p :searchme:, which by the sounds of it he doesn't. Don't worry about it Chance. I think you are in no wrong.

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Finally someone see's some sense! Thanks hun x

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Originally Posted by bondboffin

well it sounds like you had no objections to him being in the play until you found out it clashed with the changed football game and that the teachers were telling you what to do

at the end of the day if you break your promise, and take him out of the play, you will be upsetting the teachers, who may hold it against you in the future. if your son is 8 he has a few more years at that school, and the teachers could make it awkward for both you and him for the remainder, is your son's education worth risking over a game of football?

you made your comitment to the play, it seems very unfair to pull out last minute because of another changed comitment.

but at the end of the day, the choice is yours, but either way someone's gonna get upset.

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I think most teachers wouldnt hold it against a child, if the parent decided to pull them out of a play...they might understandably not consider him for a main part in the future though, if they consider him unreliable.

Teachers, pupils etc… put a lot of effort in to putting on performances, and if its on after school, in order that parents can attend, then they are giving up there free time too. I personally think pulling a child out of a play - even if he has only got a couple of lines (what if other children did the same, what would happen to the play then???) is wrong. To me its sending out the wrong message to the child...that its okay to let people down and do as you wish.

But it's kind of a catch 22.. if he does the play he's letting the team down. If he does the footie he's letting others down. Either way he's letting someone down. Teachers are always saying to have after school activities/interests, follow your dreams/passions, stand up for what you want, etc... so it is a little hypocrital also... I think anyway. So he should do what he wants. Especially at such a young age.

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Originally Posted by CrazyLea

But it's kind of a catch 22.. if he does the play he's letting the team down. If he does the footie he's letting others down. Either way he's letting someone down. Teachers are always saying to have after school activities/interests, follow your dreams/passions, stand up for what you want, etc... so it is a little hypocrital also... I think anyway. So he should do what he wants. Especially at such a young age.

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Little hypocritical??? I bit harsh there, I think! Plus I dont think you are comparing like with like...we are talking about a 'one off' play and he would be letting down a lot of people who have worked hard for that one performance... rehearsing, making costumes etc...Surely it would be easier to get someone as a sub for the footie team, than getting someone to have to learn lines etc...in a play??? Plus there will be other footie matches...

Sorry, didn't mean it in a harsh way. I just think for an 8 year old, pulling him out of something he loves doing is a little harsh. If he was older, or had a main part there'd be no contest. 2 lines is hardley letting someone down though? From my experience, those with hardley any lines are not very important characters anyway, easily done by someone else. It wouldn't be so bad, if the child had a choice in doing it, then he would have made the committment in saying yes, as it is he is being told he HAS to do it. Should a child be told they HAVE to do something?

Surely they would have a standby in the play in case someone cant do it?? ( i know thats what happened when we were at school) what would have happened if he had been sick that night??

its after school, and he has an interest. Connor would create hell if i let him miss what he loves out of school and to me id rather keep him happy than the school!

Do what you think is best and what will make your son happy xx

Yeah when we were at school there were stand bys. Can't help it if you're ill. I was nearly Nancy in Juniors 'cause the girl was sick :p She turned up in the end though grrr :p. I'm sorry but in my experience school plays are a horrible time. It was always a chance for the popular/loud kids to have the main parts, the quiet ones to have the boring, insignificant parts, you always knew who was going to have what part even befor they were given out. That time of year always made me feel miserable. I wish I had another interest at the time to get me out of it. 8 year olds, (9, 10 and 11s), shouldn't have to dread going to school at such an age when school is supposed to be fun. Maybe my time has made me a cynic and slightly biased, but I dunno. Sorry if I offend anyone. Not my intention. And I'm pretty sure it's not going to affect your future... what are employers or uni going to say... "Oh, I see at the age of 8 you chose to do something else rather than appear in your school play, I'm sorry but we don't accept people who do that".... They're 8 for pity sake.

In my mums school play there were loads of people who were off ill and they just managed, the shcool has to manage when people dont turn up. I think it is a difficult decision, but he has played football all season its not really that fair on him to miss the last match even if he is only 8. He sounds a good little player as well. There really will be plenty more school plays. I think the schoo are bound to realise there will be clashes as they havent really given that much notice,.

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Originally Posted by Pinkbanana

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Originally Posted by bondboffin

well it sounds like you had no objections to him being in the play until you found out it clashed with the changed football game and that the teachers were telling you what to do

at the end of the day if you break your promise, and take him out of the play, you will be upsetting the teachers, who may hold it against you in the future. if your son is 8 he has a few more years at that school, and the teachers could make it awkward for both you and him for the remainder, is your son's education worth risking over a game of football?

you made your comitment to the play, it seems very unfair to pull out last minute because of another changed comitment.

but at the end of the day, the choice is yours, but either way someone's gonna get upset.

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I think most teachers wouldnt hold it against a child, if the parent decided to pull them out of a play...they might understandably not consider him for a main part in the future though, if they consider him unreliable.

Teachers, pupils etc… put a lot of effort in to putting on performances, and if its on after school, in order that parents can attend, then they are giving up there free time too. I personally think pulling a child out of a play - even if he has only got a couple of lines (what if other children did the same, what would happen to the play then???) is wrong. To me its sending out the wrong message to the child...that its okay to let people down and do as you wish.

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Making my son not go to footie would be letting him down,id rather let the teachers down then him.
I understand they wouldnt consider him for a main part in the future but that doesent bother him as he is not in to that kind of thing any way,also the teachers only choose certain kids at our school,The mums kids who are on the pta etc etc or the ones who are friends with a premier leagues footballers sons.It is very clicky.

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Originally Posted by Pinkbanana

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Originally Posted by CrazyLea

But it's kind of a catch 22.. if he does the play he's letting the team down. If he does the footie he's letting others down. Either way he's letting someone down. Teachers are always saying to have after school activities/interests, follow your dreams/passions, stand up for what you want, etc... so it is a little hypocrital also... I think anyway. So he should do what he wants. Especially at such a young age.

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Little hypocritical??? I bit harsh there, I think! Plus I dont think you are comparing like with like...we are talking about a 'one off' play and he would be letting down a lot of people who have worked hard for that one performance... rehearsing, making costumes etc...Surely it would be easier to get someone as a sub for the footie team, than getting someone to have to learn lines etc...in a play??? Plus there will be other footie matches...

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It is the last match of the season,this 1 match will make them either 1st or 2nd on the table,he is there top goal scorer.It would be like not having Gerrard at the champions league.They are short or people already as some kids are on holidays etc at mo,So there are no subs tonight,just the right amount of players.

[QUOTE=CrazyLea;564775]Sorry, didn't mean it in a harsh way. I just think for an 8 year old, pulling him out of something he loves doing is a little harsh. If he was older, or had a main part there'd be no contest. 2 lines is hardley letting someone down though? From my experience, those with hardley any lines are not very important characters anyway, easily done by someone else. It wouldn't be so bad, if the child had a choice in doing it, then he would have made the committment in saying yes, as it is he is being told he HAS to do it. Should a child be told they HAVE to do something?[/QUOTEg

It is a play about minibeasts and bugs.He is a fly! Along with 15 oher kids who can read his line without looking out of place as they are all dressed the same.We also had to make there costumes.
If he had a major role i would make him go to the play, as yes you would be letting them down then.

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Originally Posted by Debs

Surely they would have a standby in the play in case someone cant do it?? ( i know thats what happened when we were at school) what would have happened if he had been sick that night??

its after school, and he has an interest. Connor would create hell if i let him miss what he loves out of school and to me id rather keep him happy than the school!

Do what you think is best and what will make your son happy xx

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The big match is tonight and he shal be there! :cheer:

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Originally Posted by CrazyLea

Yeah when we were at school there were stand bys. Can't help it if you're ill. I was nearly Nancy in Juniors 'cause the girl was sick :p She turned up in the end though grrr :p. I'm sorry but in my experience school plays are a horrible time. It was always a chance for the popular/loud kids to have the main parts, the quiet ones to have the boring, insignificant parts, you always knew who was going to have what part even befor they were given out. That time of year always made me feel miserable. I wish I had another interest at the time to get me out of it. 8 year olds, (9, 10 and 11s), shouldn't have to dread going to school at such an age when school is supposed to be fun. Maybe my time has made me a cynic and slightly biased, but I dunno. Sorry if I offend anyone. Not my intention. And I'm pretty sure it's not going to affect your future... what are employers or uni going to say... "Oh, I see at the age of 8 you chose to do something else rather than appear in your school play, I'm sorry but we don't accept people who do that".... They're 8 for pity sake.

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You are dead right the teachers have already chosen the parts way ahead of the play.It is the loud ones or the ones whos parents get on well with the teachers.We have a premier league footie players kid at our school and that kid is always guaranteed a top part for everything,just because of who his dad is.

you have done exactly what i would have done, your son sounds very much like mine except a few years younger, he is one of the top goal scorers for his team too, hope they get on well an get to the top of the table!!! my sons team is joint first at the mo so i know how you feel!!!

They won! My boy scored as well!

Sad thing is i missed it :(
At 3pm this arvo,my youngest son (4) banged his head on a concrete windowsill and cut his head open,blood dripping all over the place and a big gash in his head.Got to hosp at 3:30pm,didnt get 'assessed' until 5:30pm which the nurse then said to go back out in the waiting room and wait for it to be stitched and cleaned up etc.
I asked approx how long and she said about another hour and half!
Waited and waited,2 more hours passed then i asked reception how much longer,bearing in mind i have 2 more children at home. ( i thought kids were a priority?) She then replied it would be another 4-5 hours before we got seen!
So i left and have now phoned another hosp and there waiting time is 3-4 hours so we have to go down there in a bit.
His head is still weeping blood as we speak...

Aw Chance poor babes hope the little one is okay, and well done on the footie score.

Good on him, i see we may have a future footy star on our hands chance.

Hope your other son is better soon.