eefiction

Hi this is my first script please tell me what to think. I have a whole storyline and many more to come planned out.

Everyone is rushing around in the millers preparing for the welcome home party for demi.
Rosie:(shouting) Keith! Keith! Are you ready? Its time to go and get Demi.
Keith:Ye. One minute Rose I'm just putting up these banners.
Darren Enters
Darren: Mum why dont you take Aleesha with you. I think Demi would love to see her.
Rosie:(happily) Ye. Great idea Darren. Come here
Rosie hugs darren just as Keith enters.
Keith:(putting his coat on) Ready. I think we better get going.
Keith Rosie and Aleesha leave to pick up Demi. About half an hour later Darren and Mickey are finishing off the decorations when there is a knock at the door.
Mickey: Daz answer that
Darren answers the door
Darren: Oh come in they aint back yet.
The guests including Pauline,The Beales,Gus and The Brannings enter
Pauline:(surprised) Oh wow. What an effort youve put in here.
Darren:(gloating) Oh well we do try.
About 5 minutes had passed until Rosies voice was heard
Rosie: Were back!
Keith,Rosie,Demi and Aleesha enter the room.
Everyone: Surprise! Welcome home Demi.
Demi didnt smile she just set of at a pace upstairs and you could here her sobbing.
Rosie and Keith exchanged looks
Keith: Right everyone enjoy themselves. Ill go upstairs and speak to Demi.

Next episode: Keith and Demi have a heart to heart.

this is really good and id lovve to read the other parts

i would love to hear what keith is going to say to demi keep up the good work

Hi again this is my second script so then here it is:

Keith heads upstairs
Keith: Demi,sweetheart are you ok?
Demi: Dad I want to be left alone.
Keith:(sitting down next to Demi) Come on darling whats wrong?
Demi: Ive been thinking whilst I've been in hospital about things.
Keith: What like?
Demi: Like was it my fault Leo died
Keith:(in a low voice) aye you shouldnt even be thinking that. Why is it your fault?
Demi: Because he thaught I was dead thats why he took the drugs.
Keith: The person whoose fault this is is the person who gave the drugs to Leo!
Demi: Thats not all Ive been thinking. Ive also bin thinking about Aleesha. What am I going to tell her when shes older?
Keith: You tell her that her dad died full of love for you and Aleesha.
Demi:(heartbroken) My baby cant grow up without a dad!
Keith: Demi you are a beautiful girl. You are going to grow up and meet a boy who you will love and he will love you and Aleesha. He can be her dad.
Demi: But it wont be the same! He wont be Aleeshas real dad. I...I...really miss him dad.
Keith: I know you do sweetheart. Your going to have to try for yours and Aleeshas health. If you ever need a cry come to me.
Demi jumps into Keiths arms.

NEXT EPISODE: DEMI COMES DOWN STAIRS AND THERE IS A SURPRISE VISITOR AT THE MILLERS.

reply away.

please reply

this is great can you please do some more :thumbsup:

ill post the next part later on tonight.

Here is part three in the last part Demi and Keith had a heart to heart:-

Keith: (still hugging Demi) Why dont you come downstairs?
Demi: I dont really feel like it dad. I shouldnt be celebrating as Leo should be alive aswel.
Keith: I know he should Dems but you cant change whats happened. I mean come on this downstairs is for you. Why dont you just show your face?
Demi: (wiping her eyes) Alright. Ill come down for you.
Keith: Good girl.
Keith and Demi head downstairs and into the front room.
Pauline: Welcome home Demi. Weve missed you.
Demi: (upset) You didnt need to do this
Rosie: You deserve it.
Demi: I dont! My boyfriend would be alive if I didnt take the Heroin.
At that moment there was a knock at the door
Rosie: (surprised) Trisha! What do you want?
Trisha: Can I come in? I want to talk to Demi.
Rosie: Errrrrrm yes.
Trisha: Thanks Rosie I really appreciate how youve been with me.
Demi comes into the hall.
Trisha: Demi can I have a word?
Demi: Yes of course you can. Shall we go into the kitchen?
Trisha: Ye.Ye. That would be great.
Trisha and Demi go into the Kitchen and Rosie goes into the living room.
Rosie: Keith. Trisha has just come and shes talking to Demi in the Kitchen.
Keith: (putting down his cake.) Lets leave them to it. Maybe she can calm her down.
In the Kitchen Trisha and Demi are sitting at the table.
Demi: What do you want?
Trisha: Demi is it ok if we talk about Leo?
Demi: (eyes welling again) Erm yes.
Trisha: Who was it who gave him the drugs?
Demi: Someone called Gavin. When I took the Heroin he told me Id go to a place where nothing matters.
Trisha: Ok dont get upset you know Leo used to tell me all the time that he loved you.
Demi: I miss him so much Trisha.
Trisha: I know you do Demi so do I. I want you to know Demi that I dont blame you. I blame Gavin for giving him the drugs people like that will get what comes to them so dont blame yourself!
Both Trisha and Demi start to cry.

Next episode: Demi comes ill!!!!!

hope you liked this part Ill post more soon please reply with your comments.

Great stuff :)

this is really good

Hey this is pretty good, maybe you could do your own soap like me i would love some competition.

keep it up, your doing well.

Im really glad you have liked the previous parts so here is the next one

Trisha: Well I better get going.
Demi: Ok I hope you are alright
Trisha: Same to you Demi. Remember what I said!
Demi: I will. Ill come to the door with you.
Demi and Trisha go to the door and trisha leaves. Rosie enters the Hall.
Rosie: Demi everyone has gone now. We will leave you alone if you want.
Demi: Thanks mum.
Demi goes into the living room followed by Rosie. Demi lies on the couch.
Rosie: Do you want anything to eat darling?
Demi: No mum Im not hungry.
Rosie: Demi you have to eat. You aint eaten since you have came home and the doctors said you didnt eat anything whilst you where in hospital.
Demi: Ill have something later.
Rosie: Ok. Will you be ok on your own for an hour because Ian has asked me and Dad to go to the vic for a drink with him.
Demi. Yes Ill be fine. Dont get drunk!!!
Rosie: Ok see you later.
Rosie leaves with Keith and Demi falls asleep. Half an hour later Demi wakes up in a very hot sweat and she starts to be sick.
Demi. Help!!......Darren.......Mickey........Anyone!
No one replied. Demi fainted. About half an hour later Rosie and Keith returned.
Keith: Dems were home. Dems...Dems.
Rosie: Keith she must be asleep.
Keith: At half past eight?
Rosie enters the Living room.
Rosie: (panicking) Keith. Help! Demi aint moving!
Keith rushes in
Keith: Rosie Dial an ambulance.
Rosie: (dialling the number) I need an ambulance.
Reciever: Whats the problem?
Rosie: Yes hurry its my daughter shes not responding.
Reciever: Ok What address are you at?
Rosie: 27 Albert Square.
5 minutes later the ambulance arrived at the door.
Ambulance man: Hello Demi I am a paramedic were going to take you to the hospital!
Demi did not respond.

NEXT TIME: WILL DEMI BE OK?? WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF SHE IS FINE? WILL SHE DIE???

Hope you enjoyed this one as much and I will be happy to hear your replys.

hahahah classic story really good not answering the paramedic thats our demi

thankyou the next part will come tonight after ive watched tonights eppy over and over again! So keep posting until about 11 when i post the next part.

Ok then here is the next part hope you enjoy it.

In the waiting room all of the millers are waiting for news on demi.

Mickey: I cant believe whats happening to us! They must of seen that demi couldnt cope with the outside world. I think they let her home to early.
Rosie: I think weve been putting to much pressure on her with the party and everything.
A consultant enters.
Rosie: (standing up) Hi doctor, whats the news?
Consultant: Well Demi is awake. But we cant let her out until she eats something. We would also like Demi to see someone for her mental state straight away but we need your approval before this can happen.
Keith: Doctor we will do anything to help our Demi get back to being that lovely little girl.
Consultant: Ok if you are all happy with that...
The consultant looks around and everyone nods.
Consultant:... Does anyone want to sit with her during her session?
Rosie: Yes. I will.
Consultant: Ok then would you like to follow me.
Rosie follows the consultant to a room down the corridor. He stopped just before they entered the room.
Consutant: Mrs.Miller I would like to warn you that this will be very stressful.
They entered the room where Demi, a nurse and another woman were sitting.
Rosie: Oh Demi it is great to see you awake.
Demi: It is great to be awake mum.
The woman clears her throat.
Psychologist: Ok then shall we get started. Demi I would like you to know that this is to help you get over this terrible incident. So then Demi what is on your mind?
Demi: Everything. How am I going to get over Leo?
Psychologist: Demi to tell you the truth you will never get over him deep down because he is your first love. But you are a lovely girl and you will meet loads of other boys.
Demi: What about Aleesha, what am I going to tell her when she asks for her daddy?
Psychologist: You tell her the truth and tell her that daddy died full of love and before daddy died he told you to look after her. Aleesha is a beautiful baby and show your love for leo on her. Then gradually everything will get easier.
Demi: That is all that is on my mind. Thankyou. Come to think of it Im getting quite hungry.
Everyone smiled.
Psychologist: Remember Demi if you ever want to talk. Ring the hospital and ask for june.
Demi: Thanks.Thanks alot.
Rosie: Were really greatful.
Demi and Rosie head for the waiting room and enter it.
Demi: Hi everyone.
Darren: Alright sis. You gave us another scare.
Demi: Sorry. Shall we go home?
The millers leave.

NEXT TIME: DEMI TAKES A TRIP TO LEOS GRAVE.

please reply with your views n comments.

Wow...the next part sounds great,Demi visiting Leo's grave!

Ill post the next part later please post more comments until then.

Ok then here is the next part.

Back at the millers Demi is asleep on the couch.

Darren: (shaking Demi) Dems...Dems...Ive made you some toast.
Demi: (waking up) Thanks Darren. Ive really missed you (Demi hugs Darren) Im going to go out in a bit.
Darren: Where you going?
Demi: Well I think I might go and get some flowers and put them on Leos grave.
Darren: Its up to you Dems.
Darren leaves Demi eating her toast. After she eat her toast she strapped Aleesha in her pram.
Demi: (Talking to Aleesha) Shall we go and see Daddy?? Shall we go and see Daddy??
Demi and Aleesha head down to the cemetary. Down at the cemetary she sits down at Leos grave.
Demi: Hello babe,weve really missed you havent we. I want you to know that I am going to look after Aleesha even more just for you. I need to say this and get it off my chest. It was a mistake. Gavin was really forcing me to take it.
Demi pulls something from Aleeshas pram.
Demi: (tear in her eye) I have to put this hear to remind you of us.
Demi puts a picture of Demi,Leo and Aleesha on his grave. Back at the millers Darren is watching the tv and Mickey arrives back from work.
Mickey: Alright Darren wheres Demi?
Darren: Shes gone to Leos grave.
Mickey: (Angry) DARREN WHY DIDNT YOU STOP HER! DONT TELL MUM. ILL GO AND GET HER BACK!!
Mickey leaves Darren shocked. Down at Leos grave Demi is sitting alone pushing Aleesha when Mickey arrives behind her.
Mickey: Alright Sis?
Demi: (Turning around) Oh hi Mickey. Just thaught Id come and put these on Leos grave.
Mickey: Any better?
Demi: (slight smile) Ye. Alot better. Now he knows how I feel.
Mickey: So,shall we go home?
Demi: Ye come on then.
Demi and Mickey leave arm around each other.

NEXT TIME: ROSIE AND DEMI TALK AND ROSIE TELLS DEMI SOMETHING IMPORTANT. YOULL BE SHOCKED!!!!!

post your comments on this part if you will

Ill post the next part later on.

Ok so here is the next part and this part will lead into another storyline.

Demi and Mickey arrive home

Rosie: Were have you two been?
Mickey: We went to Leos grave so Demi could just have a talk to him.
Rosie: Oh...Do you feel any better in your self now Dems?
Demi: Yeh mum I feel much better. I just want to get back to normal.
Rosie: (putting her arms out) Do you want to give your old mum a hug?
Demi: Yeh I could do with a good cuddle.
Mickey smiles behind them.
Mickey: Mum,whats for tea im starving?
Rosie: Ermmmmm ive not put anything on. Will you go to the argee bargee and get us a curry?
Mickey: Yeh course
Rosie: Oh Mickey and take Darren because hes not been out all day!
Mickey: Alright. DARREN!
Darren runs down the stairs.
Darren: What?
Mickey: Your coming the argee bargee with me.
Darren follows Mickey out.
Demi: Mum wheres Dad?
Rosie: Hes gone getting some milk. Anyway Im glad were on our own.
Demi: Why?
Rosie: Well Demi I need to tell you something.
Demi: What?
At that minute Keith came back but Rosie and Demi did not hear him.
Rosie: Im going to ask Dad to marry me!!!!
Outside the door Keith had a straight face.

NEXT TIME: KEITH COMES IN!!! ROSIE PROPOSES!!!!!!!!

please reply before I post the next part.