Funny news stories

I thought I'd start a thread to post funny news stories (I searched but couldn't find a previous thread).

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Mystery over sex toys dangled from power lines in Portland, Oregon

Hundreds of sex toys have been spotted hanging from power lines across Portland, Oregon.

The white and orange objects have appeared above major commercial streets around the city, but their origin remains a mystery.

Locals have been sharing images online, to try and figure out who might be responsible.
A spokesman for Portland General Electric said he did not believe the rubber products posed a fire hazard.

http://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/624/cps...54_dildos2.jpg

Portland resident Lucila Cejas Epple said that she first encountered the sex toys at a neighbourhood street fair over the weekend, according to Reuters.

\\"You could spot them in several intersections and you could see all sorts of reactions to them,\\" she said.

\\"Some would blush, others would laugh, and most would take photos.\\"

The first sightings were reported late last month - but more have appeared in recent days.


http://ichef-1.bbci.co.uk/news/624/c...itterdildo.png

http://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/624/cps...dildotweet.png

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How very bizarre! :eek:

Love the eumphemisms the BBC uses (objects, products) and the tweet about explaining them to your kids. http://www.easyfreesmileys.com/smile...mileys-842.gif

Taken from: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-33541109

'Drunk' squirrel causes hundreds of pounds of damage


http://ichef-1.bbci.co.uk/news/660/c...3e19c364d2.jpg

The squirrel managed to turn beer taps on and open bags of crisps (picture posed by model)


A "drunk" squirrel has caused hundreds of pounds of damage at a private members' club.

The secretary of Honeybourne Railway Club said he originally thought someone had broken into the premises, near Evesham in Worcestershire.

The floor was covered in beer and glasses and bottles smashed, Sam Boulter said.

Mr Boulter, 62, said he then saw a squirrel "staggering around" after coming out from behind a box of crisps.

He added: "There were bottles scattered around, money scattered around and he had obviously run across the bar's pumps and managed to turn on the Caffrey's tap.

"He must have flung himself on the handle and drank some as he was staggering around all over the place and moving a bit slowly.

"I've never seen a drunk squirrel before. He was sozzled and looked a bit worse for wear, shall we say."

Mr Boulter, who estimated he lost about £300 in the incident, eventually caught the squirrel in a waste paper bin and released it out of the window.

Taken from: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england...ester-33541502

:rotfl:

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Originally Posted by Dazzle

I thought I'd start a thread to post funny news stories (I searched but couldn't find another one).

How very bizarre! :eek:

Love the eumphemisms the BBC uses (objects, products) and the tweet about explaining them to your kids. http://www.easyfreesmileys.com/smile...mileys-842.gif

Taken from: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-33541109

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I see that this story is via the BBC.

It is very funny but if they want a really
BIG story they could arrange for packets of
c*n*o*s to be festooned( but accessible)
above Albert Square!!
It would cut the storylines down a bit tho!

Dupl

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Dazzle

[SIZE=\\"3\\"]'Drunk' squirrel causes hundreds of pounds of damage[/SIZE]


http://ichef-1.bbci.co.uk/news/660/c...3e19c364d2.jpg

[SIZE=\\"1\\"]The squirrel managed to turn beer taps on and open bags of crisps (picture posed by model)[/SIZE]


A \\"drunk\\" squirrel has caused hundreds of pounds of damage at a private members' club.

The secretary of Honeybourne Railway Club said he originally thought someone had broken into the premises, near Evesham in Worcestershire.

The floor was covered in beer and glasses and bottles smashed, Sam Boulter said.

Mr Boulter, 62, said he then saw a squirrel \\"staggering around\\" after coming out from behind a box of crisps.

He added: \\"There were bottles scattered around, money scattered around and he had obviously run across the bar's pumps and managed to turn on the Caffrey's tap.

\\"He must have flung himself on the handle and drank some as he was staggering around all over the place and moving a bit slowly.

\\"I've never seen a drunk squirrel before. He was sozzled and looked a bit worse for wear, shall we say.\\"

Mr Boulter, who estimated he lost about £300 in the incident, eventually caught the squirrel in a waste paper bin and released it out of the window.

Taken from: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hereford-worcester-33541502

:rotfl:

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I once left the back door of my flat open for a few
mins - while I spoke to lady next door. Then
locked up in a hurry and went to work!
That was in Autumn. Over the winter apart from
an odd strange noise in spare bedroom( which I
put down to man upstairs exercise machine)- all
was well.

One morning in spring I awoke early to hear
hopping about noises from kitchen. Went to
investigate to find squirrel. As soon as it saw
me- ran past me- down hall into spare bedroom.
I ran after it and closed door quickly.

After a bit of thought-phoned RSPCA. They said
vermin/traps/ council but said they would come
round and see if they could help.

The officer shut himself in spare bedroom and
after a while caught it in a box. He took it
outside and released it. Then showed me the
box where the squirrel had hibernated over
winter. There was a plie of sawdust and some
metal bits!.Had gnawed thru a pair of wooden
candlesticks( once belonged to.great-aunt)
which had been put in box at bottom of wardrobe

He said I had been lucky it was so contained-
as squirrels can do a lot of damage!! I gave
donation as thankyou!
When I phoned my manager to say I would
be a bit late getting to work.- he said" squirrel
in spare bedroom" was best excuse he been
given for years.

The area where I lived at they time had lot
if trees - so lots of grey squirrels- but hadn't
had one get into someones home before.!!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by maidmarian

I see that this story is via the BBC.

It is very funny but if they want a really
BIG story they could arrange for packets of
c*n*o*s to be festooned( but accessible)
above Albert Square!!
It would cut the storylines down a bit tho!

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I love it!! Imagine the outrage in certain tabloids! You're so right - what would DTC do for stories without the option of accidental pregnancies? http://www.picgifs.com/smileys/smile...ppy-514478.gif

Quote:

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Originally Posted by maidmarian

I once left the back door of my flat open for a few
mins - while I spoke to lady next door. Then
locked up in a hurry and went to work!
That was in Autumn. Over the winter apart from
an odd strange noise in spare bedroom( which I
put down to man upstairs exercise machine)- all
was well.

...

The area where I lived at they time had lot
if trees - so lots of grey squirrels- but hadn't
had one get into someones home before.!!

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http://www.easyfreesmileys.com/smile...mileys-842.gif

What an anecdote! I rave about the hedgehogs I feed in my garden but that's nothing compared to a squirrel houseguest for the winter (even if it was unknown to you at the time). Very funny! :D

My favourite headline of all time was in our local paper a few years ago. It said, Cow Falls Over

And the story was about a cow that had...er...fallen over.

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Originally Posted by parkerman

My favourite headline of all time was in our local paper a few years ago. It said, Cow Falls Over

And the story was about a cow that had...er...fallen over.

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I'm all agog! How, why and when did this poor bovine take a tumble? Did she recover??? :( http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/s...shocked031.gif :D

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Dazzle

I'm all agog! How, why and when did this poor bovine take a tumble? Did she recover??? :( http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/s...shocked031.gif :D

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This is the full story. Which, by the way, I'm surprised didn't make the national and international news....:

"Cow Falls Over
"A specialist rescue team was called after a cow fell over in a brook in Great Holland.
"Essex Fire and Rescue's swift water crew set off from Leigh, 60 miles away, to help local firefighters free the animal from Holland Brook. Officers left after being advised the cow would make its own way out."

What a scoop, eh, for our local reporters!?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by parkerman

This is the full story. Which, by the way, I'm surprised didn't make the national and international news....:

"Cow Falls Over
"A specialist rescue team was called after a cow fell over in a brook in Great Holland.
"Essex Fire and Rescue's swift water crew set off from Leigh, 60 miles away, to help local firefighters free the animal from Holland Brook. Officers left after being advised the cow would make its own way out."

What a scoop, eh, for our local reporters!?

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Definitely a slow news day. :D

(I hope the poor cow did make it out on her own... :()

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Dazzle

(I hope the poor cow did make it out on her own... :()

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We will probably never know and it will remain one of life's unsolved mysteries.

Man makes himself look ridiculous, not funny though: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/news...-sandwich.html

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Kim

Man makes himself look ridiculous, not funny though: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/news...-sandwich.html

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Idiot!!! :angry:

I read recently about a woman who dialled 999 to complain about her takeaway. It makes you seriously wonder about some people... :searchme: