fab, more soon please :D
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fab, more soon please :D
Wednesday 7th December Lost (channel 4)
*Another flashbacky episode*
LOCKE: Hi, how are-
THE AUDIENCE: OMG LOCKE HAD HAIR!?
LOCKE: So, you're my mum, right?
THE AUDIENCE: TERRIBLE HAIR, TOO!
LOCKE'S MUM: Yeah. But you don't have a dad. You were immaculately conceived, yo.
LOCKE: ....
LOCKE'S MUM: Yay!
LOCKE: *backs away*
*Back in the island full of pretty, pretty people*
LOCKE: We need a sign! Any sign!
BOONE: ...
LOCKE: And stop looking at me like that! With your... strange... blood-covered.... face....?
BOONE: Teresa falls down the stairs, Teresa falls up the stairs...
LOCKE: Dahling, we're on an island. No stairs here.
BOONE: Teresa falls up the stairs, Teresa falls down the stairs...
LOCKE: No Teresa either.
BOONE: Teresa falls-
LOCKE: ALRIGHT ALRIGHT I GET IT.
THE AUDIENCE: *shakes, hides under the bedcovers - or was that just me? Anyhoo...*
LOCKE: Quit it with the Exorcist crap and- oh noes wheelchair!
*Some extremely bad special effects randomly plonked him into his wheelchair.*
LOCKE: THIS IS NOT FUN!
*He wakes up*
LOCKE: ....
*Onto some lighter material involving Sawyer, YAY!*
SAWYER: *says some stuff, but I can't concentrate because omgsawyer.*
JACK: You need glasses.
SAWYER: ... What, are you an optician too now?
*Sayid turns out to be very handy at welding, and makes Sawyer some glasses.*
SAWYER: I can see! *is happy*
THE AUDIENCE: *is happy*
SAWYER: *looks vaguely like Johnny Depp in that random film*
KATE: *giggles at him*
SAWYER: SHUT UP.
THE OTHER KATE (ME!): *lusts after him*
LOCKE: Dad?
LOCKE'S DAD: Son! Let's go hunting!
LOCKE: Yay!
*But then Locke's Dad turns out to be eeeevil by stealing Locke's kidney, boo, hiss*
LOCKE's DAD: Mwahahahahaaaa!
LOCKE: ...Damn it.
HENCHMAN: I'm sorry, he isn't seeing anyone- wait a minute. *gets out a clipboard* What is your reason for visiting? a)Business, b)Pleasure, or c)He stole your kidney and won't give it back?
LOCKE: ... C! Definitely C!
HENCHMAN: *tuts* Again? *ticks the box*
LOCKE: *tries to get in*
HENCHMAN: Whoa there. You can't go in - kidneys are non-returnable.
LOCKE: BUT I WANT IT BAAACK!
HENCHMAN: Well, maybe you should have thought of that before, smart guy.
*Pretty people again! And Locke is bald once more! Squee!*
LOCKE: C'mon Boone, we're going into the forest in the dark, steamy, sexy night.
BOONE: Ooh... I mean, why the hell would you want to do that?
LOCKE: Shut up.
BOONE: *happily* Okay!
SOME TREE: Stabbity!
LOCKE'S LEG: Meh.
BOONE: Er, man? You kinda got... pwned back there?
LOCKE: *looks down* ...Aw, crap.
BOONE: You okay?
LOCKE: We gotta find that plane!
*They do. Hurrah.*
BOONE: *climbs in* Man, it's... full of heroin.
*Back at camp*
CHARLIE: *lifts up head* Who said that?
*In the plane of drugginess*
THE PLANE: *creaks*
LOCKE: OMG get out of there!
BOONE: *finds a radio* Mayday! Mayday! ... I've always wanted to say that.
*To his amazement, SOMEONE ANSWERS! OMG! Pay attention, because this may be veeeery important later on... in the second series, say...*
BOONE: We are the survivors of Flight 815-
THE PLANE: *creaks louder*
LOCKE: GET OUUUUUT!
THE RADIO: WTF?! But we're the-
THE PLANE: Man, can't you take a hint?! *collapses, conveniently before we can find out anything remotely spoileriffic.*
LOCKE: Nooooo! This is all my fault!
THE PLANE: Well, duh.
LOCKE: *drags Boone out of the wreckage, amazingly recovering full use of his legs.*
*Back at the caves*
SAWYER: *lies there, the sun bouncing off his body and-*
THE FAN GIRLS (AND FAN BOYS, TOO, POSSIBLY): *froth at the mouth*
LOCKE: *appears, dangling Boone over his shoulders* Jack!
JACK: *was trying to sleep* Godammit, can't you people last one minute without me? I should never have told them I'm a doctor. All you ever do is shout "Jack!" and - OMG BOONE!
BOONE: *may or may not be deaded, we'll find out next week...*
NEXT WEEK ON LOST: Boone dies, but that's okay because I never liked him anyway, Claire has the baby (squeee!) and Shannon and Sayid have a picnic(very dramatic.) (I don't think they count as spoilers because Boone is obviously kinda smooshed from the druggified plane, and, well, you can hardly go "OMG Claire has the BABY?! That's AMAZING! I never expected that! I though it'd just stay there forever and-" Okay, I'll shut up now.)
lol! fab, please do more soon! :cheer:
Some pictures I made that go with these scripts:
EastEnders
http://x11.putfile.com/12/34412291379.jpg http://x11.putfile.com/12/34412270931.jpg http://x11.putfile.com/12/34412251584.jpg http://x11.putfile.com/12/34412222218.jpg http://x11.putfile.com/12/34412195613.jpg http://x11.putfile.com/12/34412172950.jpg
Feel free to borrow/steal/whatever :D Lost ones coming up soon
lmao, fab! :cheer:Quote:
Originally Posted by crazy_purple
well good
Good Pics:)
Great stuff. More soon please:p.Quote:
Originally Posted by crazy_purple
Tuesday 13th December EE
JOHNNY: *sits on Ruby's bed and looks at her teddy bears. This is rather disturbing.*
RANDOM GIRL: *makes a sudden reappearance after weeks of being invisible, and proceeds to snog him to death. I would like to know what she sees in him exactly. Answers on a postcard please.*
ALFIE: *is managing the Vic once more.... YAY!*
PEGGY: Yay!
JIM: Yay!
EVERYBODY: Yay!
*Kat sneaks up behind him and they have a rather flirty conversation, during which Kat pinches Alfie's bum. Several times. She also randomly starts tickling him.*
ALFIE: *hums dreamily to self* Yeah, I'm sure there's absolutely no chemistry between us at all.
KAT: I WANT YOU SO BAD.
ALFIE: Better get back to my bottle-rattling-randomness!
KAT: ... God, why did I marry him? More to the point, wasn't it only a month or two ago that we were both crying and snivelling because I said I couldn't be his wife anymore and -
ALFIE: *bends down to pick something up*
KAT: Ooooh....
RUBY: This is all my fault! I let myself down, I let everyone down-
STACEY: Hey, that reminds me of that joke about the balloon!
RUBY: MY LIFE IS RUINED.
STACEY: Girl, please. Have you listened to me lately?
RUBY: I love Juley!
STACEY: ... Obviously not.
*Johnny and Phil happen to just-about walk into each other.*
JOHNNY: ....
PHIL: ....
JOHNNY: ....
PHIL: ....
JOHNNY: ...
PHIL: ...
DOT: Will you two stop making eyes at each other?
ALFIE: Nana isn't answering her phone oh noes!
PEGGY: Relax! What's the worst that could have happened?
ALFIE: .... OMG SHE'S DEAD!
NANA: Hi, Alfie.
ALFIE: Nobody panic, but my grandmother may be slightly dead!
NANA: ... I'm right here.
ALFIE: Yippee!
*They organise a day out at the races, which is not at all terribly sadly ironic. Ahem - Friday! Sniffle...*
ALFIE: I'm looking forward to spending the day with the most important woman in my life. *gazes fondly at Nana*
KAT: Hmph! *looks disgruntled*
ALFIE: Oh yeah - I forgot about you. Thanks for today, Kat.
KAT: *brave sniffle* That's what mates do, isn't it? Mates. Yes. Mates. I haven't been following you around all day like a little puppy or something. Totally not.
ALFIE: *friendly smile*
KAT: *friendly smile back* OMG he's standing next to me!
ALFIE: Sooo... isn't it lovely, just being mates.
KAT: *facepalm*
JULEY: Ruby's in love with me, it's not fair!
PHIL: *appears menacingly from the shadows with an evil laugh* My evil plan is working! Squee!
*And... that was the corniest ending ever.*
lmao, fab especially the last line! more soon please :cheer:
*Postcard*Quote:
Originally Posted by crazy_purple
Pound signs!
just read it all it is brilliant so funny. :rotfl: oh and by the way chrissie's cell mate is gail lol
NANA'S DEAD *cries*
NANA: Kat - here, I got something for you.
KAT: Ooh, a Christmas card-
NANA: No! Don't open it until after.
KAT: After Christmas?
NANA: ...No.
KAT: After New Year?
NANA: ...No.
KAT: ....
NANA: *eyeroll*
KAT: OMG! No don't die! *cries*
NANA: You... say that like I have a choice.
ALFIE: So Nan, what do you want for Christmas?
NANA: A dancing penguin!
ALFIE: ...Ooookay...
NANA: Things never stay the same, do they Alfie?
ALFIE: *tear*
KAT: *sitting in her kitchen* I really wanna know what's in that envelope.
*Her hand twitches towards it.*
KAT: Nooo! Restrain yourself!
THE KITCHEN TABLE: You know, that's exactly what I was thinking, but you never listen to me, do you?
KAT: ...
THE KITCHEN TABLE: I get nothing but disrespect! And people getting it on on top of me! This was not in my job description! I-
KAT: *leaves*
THE KITCHEN TABLE: *fumes*
ALFIE: You're selfish.
JAKE: Yeah? Well, you're a clown!
*They move closer to each other*
ALFIE: ...
JAKE: ...
I: *am slightly disturbed*
ALFIE: And you can't love! You never loved anybody! Hah!
JAKE: Apart from Chrissie...?
ALFIE: You're stoopid!
JAKE: RAR! *throws Alfie down onto the sofa*
I: *have a warped mind - I half-expected them to start going at it, for some reason. Eurgh. Somebody shoot me.*
KAT: *coming in* OMG Alfie don't hurt my Alfie!
JAKE: What? *swings round, whacks Kat upside the head by accident*
ALFIE: Kat!
KAT: Alfie!
ALFIE: Kat!
KAT: Alfie!
JAKE: ...
NANA: You boys! Apologize!
ALFIE: But-
NANA: Say you're sorry!
JAKE: He started it-
ALFIE: I did not!
NANA: NOW.
ALFIE: *mumbles* Sorry.
JAKE: Sorry.
NANA: YOU DIDN'T MEAN THAT.
ALFIE: Sorry, Jake.
JAKE: Sorry, Alfie.
NANA: THAT'S BETTER.
KAT: Awwwww... this family is so weird.
*She runs outside when she realises that Nana keeps the family together, but poor old Nana is gonna die, nooo.*
KAT: Nooooo! *sobs*
JAKE: You fight like a girl.
ALFIE: I do not!
*He does.*
JAKE: Hehe. What you gonna do, slap me around Walford?
ALFIE: Yeah! Anywhere, matey!
JAKE: ...
ALFIE: ...Well, obviously not slap you around. I'd be punching you in a very manly way. Wouldn't I?
DEAD GANGSTER MAN: *voice echoes* Noooo.... He fights like a girrrrl....
ALFIE: Who said that?
KAT: You can't do all this!
ALFIE: Can too.
KAT: Can not. Look, you gotta act normal.
ALFIE: *panics* HOW?!
*Jake and Alfie make friends again; get drunk together; then curl up on the sofa together; and eventually give in to their desires, forget about Kat and Chrissie and give in to cousinly love. On the sofa. Shut up.*
NANA: Yay you got a dancing snowman! Ooh, presents! *starts towards them*
ALFIE: *restrains her* Nope! Not until Christmas!
THE GODS OF EVIL, EVIL IRONY: Mwahahahahaaa.
NANA: Hmph.
*The batteries on the dancing snowman run out, in a terribly nasty bit of symbolism on the writer's part. Writers, hang your heads in shame, please.*
ALFIE: Oh, let's have a look at this-
NANA: *sigh*
ALFIE: ...Nan?
THE AUDIENCE: *all simultaneously burst into tears*
ALFIE: But we were going to have a good Christmas and everything... You haven't opened your presents...
NANA: *echoing voice* Well whose fault is that, Mr Not Until Christmas?!
ALFIE: *cries*
Fab:D.
Don't tell me you actually cried... :rolleyes: :DQuote:
Originally Posted by Elect-Death_13
Lost, Wednesday 14th December (channel 4)
We do have a freeview box, but for some reason they hooked it up to the TV downstairs, where my mum and dad don't even watch it. I could make much better use of it in my room :wall:
SOME AMERICAN GUY: Previously on Lost...
I: *am strangely attracted to his voice, although he only ever has the same 3 words every episode*
JACK: OMG Boone!
BOONE: *gargles on his own blood*
*Here begins another lovely, gory episode of Lost. I was surprised that I seem to have got resistant to the horrific blood and guts stuff, when I used to be pathetically squeamish. (I also cured myself of my fear of injections, but that's a whole other story.)*
*On the island od Not Quite So 'Pretty Pretty People', More Like 'Blood-Splattered People'. Yay.*
JACK: I WILL SAVE YOU BOONE!
BOONE: No you won't. *his lung collapses*
JACK: Hah! I can cure that! *seems to stab him in the lung. Pardon me, but... I don't quite see how that will make him better... But then, I'm not a sexy bald doctor. Mmmm, Dr Jack.*
BOONE: *miraculously starts breathing normally again*
JACK: Yay!
BOONE: *eyeroll*
JACK: Kate! Bring me alcohol!
KATE: ...
JACK: I need booze, dammit!
KATE: Okey-dokes. *runs off*
*Kate finds Sawyer and his stash and I forget all about Dr Jack omgsawyer can I have your babies plz? Man, this is like virtual adultery. Yay.*
KATE: Sawyer! I need all your alcohol! NOW!
SAWYER: *doesn't even look surprised* Sure.
*In the forest*
KATE: Run run run. I like running. Hmmm... what was that thing? About running with a backpack full of glass? That's easily smashable?
A MEAN, MEAN TREE BRANCH: That you shouldn't do it. Heh.
KATE: Damn it.
*But her falling-over-ness wasn't entirely useless, because she finds Claire. Who is, incidentally, in labour.*
KATE: OMG you're having a baby!
CLAIRE: You never noticed until now?!
KATE: What do I do what do I do what do I do!
CLAIRE: ... Okay. Relax.
KATE: I CAN'T!
CLAIRE: Breathe! In, out, in, out- hey, wait a minute, I'm the one in la-
KATE: HEEEEEEELP UUUUSSSSSS!
CLAIRE: ...I think my eardrums just burst.
*Unfortunately, the only person who hears them is the only person on the island who doesn't speak English.*
JIN: *runs up to them*
CLAIRE: Hey, how did you know we wanted help if you don't-
KATE: No time! Go get Jack!
JIN: ...Jack. *perks up* Jack. Doctor.
*Am I the only one who went "awwww Jin's learning English yay!" and just wanted to hug him then? Or am I just a sl*t for all the men on Lost? Who don't actually exist in real life? Um...*
KATE: *is not quite so amazed* Yeah, doctor! Get him!
JIN: *thinks* I'm not Lassie, you know.
JACK: He needs blood!
CHARLIE: I have blood!
JACK: A-negative?
CHARLIE: Nope.
JACK: YOU SUCK!
CHARLIE: *whimpers*
JACK: Oh wait, I'll match!
CHARLIE: Couldn't you have said that before?
JACK: No.
CHARLIE: But-
JACK: Shut up.
CHARLIE: Yessir. *mumbles under this breath* I'm the only Brit on this damn island and I'm also Dominic Monaghan! All shall love me and worship me and I'm a hobbit squee!
JACK: What?
CHARLIE: Nuthin'.
JACK: Okay Sun, listen up. A vein is like a wet noodle.
SUN: ...I'm beginning to wish I hadn't learnt English.
JACK: I've got to find something thin and sharp enough to pierce a noodle with.
CHARLIE: Mmm, noodles.
JACK: ...
CHARLIE: *cries*
ME: Don't worry Charlie, I love you... and Sawyer... and-
*Sun stops this train of thought before it gets too disturbing and finds Jack a weird plant thing.*
JACK: Ooh yay. *immediately does a blood transfusion*
BOONE: Why won't you just let me die already?!
*Just then, Jin appears and tries to tell them what's up. Sun has to translate and there's a Jin+Sun moment yay! ... Man, this is worse than EastEnders.*
CHARLIE: Kate, you gotta deliver this baby.
KATE: I can't!
CHARLIE: Somebody has to!
KATE: Why can't you?!
CHARLIE: Because... um... well, me and Jin are gonna go sit over here, in a manly, old-fashioned way.
KATE: GAH!
CLAIRE: *is scared* Have you noticed it's all the Americans who are crazified?
CHARLIE: Shhh, Claire. I love you.
KATE: Right. Claire. Don't be scared. It's not like I'm a fugitive on the run from the law or anything.
CLAIRE: ...
BOONE: *is more or less deaded*
JACK: I'LL SAVE YOU!
SUN: I'm pretty sure he's dead, or nearly dead.
JACK: ...
SUN: I'm sorry, Jack-
JACK: Let's chop his leg off!
SUN: ...Let's not?
JACK: *prepares to do it*
SUN: *facepalm*
BOONE: No... don't.... *is less dead than previously suspected*
JACK: I thought you were dead!
BOONE: Nah. Tell Shannon this - it's very important - tell her - tell her - *flops over dramatically*
JACK: Er... okay.
*Elsewhere, Claire has the baby and it is soooo cute awwww yay! Ahem. Now I've got that off my chest - SAWYER!!!*
Yesh I cried STFU =(
Hahaha.. Actually so did I :D only a tiny bit on Friday, but I watched the omnibus just now and I was crying buckets :o Though that might have been because my dad was cleaning the bathroom and the fumes were drifting into my room so I was kind of choking anyway. Never mind. Nobody cares :pQuote:
Originally Posted by Elect-Death_13
Excellent! :cheer: more soon please!!
Ooh, I can't wait for tonight's episode - from the looks of it there'll be a ton of Kat and Alfie :cheer: (I'm not obsessed...) :p
and i'll eat sprouts :rolleyes:Quote:
Originally Posted by crazy_purple
I'm only doing about the Kalfie bits because the rest bored me. ..How will I cope after Xmas? :eek:
*The phone rings and goes to answerphone*
ALFIE: Hello, me and Nana aren't here right now-
NANA: Yes I am, I'm right here!
THE SLOWER VIEWERS: OMG WTF?!
ALFIE: No Nan, it's the message, see?
*The beep goes*
THE SLOWER VIEWERS: Oh.
KAT: *leaving a message* Alfie? Nana? Alfie? Nana? Alfie? Nana?
ALFIE: *in the house* ....
KAT: Alfie? Nana? Are you okay?
ALFIE: *cries*
*Kat demonstrates her amazing law-breaking skills and smashes into Alfie's house, just to prove how crazee she really is.*
KAT: NANA?! SPEAK TO MEEE!
ALFIE: That doesn't upset me at all *sniffle*
KAT: What?
ALFIE: *sniffles louder* I HAVE SOMETHING IN MY EYE, OKAY?
KAT: *catches on suddenly* OMG!
ALFIE: *cries*
KAT: OhAlfiecomehere! *huggle*
*For some reason, Alfie did not seem even the slightest bit surprised that his ex-wife just broke into his house. Maybe this is the kind of thing she does all the time.*
KAT: Come on, you've got to eat something.
ALFIE: I'm not hungry.
KAT: Soup? Soup solves everything!
ALFIE: No.
KAT: Or a sandwich? I'll make you a nice sarnie, and tend to all your hurt and hug you and pet you because you are my squishy.
ALFIE: ....
KAT: ... So, tell me everything!
ALFIE: I don't want to talk about it.
*Five minutes later*
ALFIE: She just slipped away... and they came to pick her up in.. in...
KAT: What?
ALFIE: I can't... it's too horrible...
KAT: *puts her hand on his leg, because... ahem.*
ALFIE: ...in... A VAN!
KAT: Gasp!
ALFIE: *cries*
KAT: Awwwwwwwww.... *huggles his head, because she just seems to love hugging him.*
KAT'S CHEST: *almost takes leave of her top*
ALFIE: *glances sideways* Heh.
KAT: Do you know what happens next?
ALFIE: ... Well, I don't know, but I heard there's lots of angels and harps playing, and-
KAT: No, I mean.... funeral arrangements.
ALFIE: She kept a list in her bedroom. I can't go in there...
KAT: *takes his hands in hers* Come on. It's alright. *she leads him up the stairs*
ALFIE: Ooh, just like old times.
KAT: *finds a pearl necklace*
*If you found anything remotely strange about that above sentence, I will tell you that you have a dirty, dirty mind and you should hang your head in shame. If you didn't, then that's lovely. Well done.*
*Alfie fastens the necklace around her neck*
KAT'S EXPRESSION: *rocks so much, and she looks quite...less tarty in the necklace. I'm gonna shut up before you all start looking at me weird.*
*They find evidence that Nana knew she was going to die soon, awwww*
ALFIE: Hell, I didn't even know she was a gambling woman.
KAT: Touch my neck again?
ALFIE: What?
KAT: It's all so sad...
ALFIE: I'm all alooone...
KAT: No you're not.
ALFIE: I am.
KAT: You've got me...
ALFIE: Oooh...
KAT: And by the way, I'm staying over here tonight.
ALFIE: Oooooooooh!
KAT: I'm just gonna go get my stuff, I'll be ten minutes.
ALFIE: Make it five?
KAT: Okay!
ALFIE: Ooooooooooooooooh.....
PEGGY: Kat? Are Alfie and Nana okay?
KAT: Yeah, they're fine. Well, that's half true, at least.
*She remembers the note Nana left her. It says "Make my Alfie happy".*
KAT: ....How could I do that? Besides letting him have a threesome with me and Little Mo? Hmmm.... I'll have to have a think about that....
lmao, fab especially the last line!! can't wait for more!! :cheer:
Did you get that from Daily Mail's soapwatch by any chance? Lol.
Hmmm? Why was he not surprised? Maybe he wanted double glazing and she saved the window fitters a job? lol.
I agree, the rest was boring, apart from Ruby's fit at the end. This is great.
The threesome bit? Yep :D The woman who writes it is ace, I even read it for the soaps I don't watch... I'd love to write a column like that for papers and get paid for it - brilliant :pQuote:
Originally Posted by Kim131
Yeah, i like reading that, the awards bit can be good aswell. It was funnier written by you though. I'd rather write that column than go to stupid school.
Went to see this today; it was quite good, but only a PG so there were no wonderful stabbity scenes. And what the hell happened to the White Witch exactly? *~SPOILERS WARNING~* in case you haven't seen it and you're planning to, don't read. Or do, whatever.
*We sit in the back, eat lots of Revels, stare at the pre-show curtains like meh.*
SOME RANDOMS: *come in, go to sit in the back but then realise that we're there* I'M NOT SITTING AT THE FRONT! *they then stomp around for a while, giving us the dead-eye. How pleasant.*
*There is no trailer for King Kong and that makes me sad.*
BOMBER PLANES: Fire in the hole! Bombs away! Wheeeee! *etc., etc., etc.*
*We are introduced to the something-or-other family. They have a surname, which is mentioned a lot, but somehow they always seem to mumble it: "I'm Lucy mumblemumblethingy". I thought this gave the film a very mysterious air. No, really.*
EDMUND: Dad!
THE AUDIENCE: OMG their dad's in there?!
*EDMUND runs back in to get a photo and nearly gets himself killed*
PETER: *shaking head* Doofus.
*They get evacuated to somewhere in the countryside. Their accents distract viewers from the film. You get used to it.*
LUCY: Wardrobe yay!
....
LUCY: Old brown coats yay!
....
LUCY: Cold... wintery... forest... Yay? Hey, why is there a lampost?
*Some more stuff happens, but it wasn't funny, so moving on....*
SUSAN, PETER and LUCY: Ruuun! It's that witchy person!
*Several minutes later*
ME and BECKY: OMG IT'S SANTA YAY!!!!
*Yes, we are 16. But SANTA WHEEE!*
*We grew to hate EDMUND, as you might see.*
BECKY: He needs a good slap.
ME: Yeah. Someone give him a backhander.
THE WHITE WITCH: *b+tchslaps him sideways*
BECKY AND ME: ... *die laughing*
*The evil, evil WHITE WITCH and her CRONIES torture ASLAN*
THE WHITE WITCH: Shave him!
SUSAN and LUCY: Gasp!
THE WHITE WITCH: Stabbity!
SUSAN and LUCY: Noooo!
ME: Noooo! Not Jesus!
SOMEONE ELSE: ....
ME: Allegory smmmf STFU.
LUCY: *cries*
SUSAN: Aww, Mary Magdalene, I'm so -
LUCY: Eh?
SUSAN: .... Lucy. I said Lucy, okay?!
*True to form, ASLAN rises from the dead.*
LUCY and SUSAN: Yay!!! Allegories are useful!
*A battle ensues, that would be more interesting if there was more stabnation and people getting squished by large rocks. In surround sound. Maybe I'm just too old for PG films... awww, I'm gonna go cry now.*
PETER: For Narnia! And for Aslan!
THE OTHER SIDE: .... RAAAA!
ME: ...I think I prefer 'raaaa', to be honest.
*ASLAN arrives and chews the WHITE WITCH's head off. Or something. We don't get to see. Hmph. Mr Tumnus lives. Hurrah.*
ME: Kong, I'm a-coming!
lol, i saw this saturday it was quite good though no comedy was really in it ... so this is fab!! :cheer:
I haven't seen it yet, but good comedy. Are you going to be doing any more of the random Kalfie thing?
I will do some more of the Kalfie story tomorrow - I've got to watch Lost now :cheer: I'm obsessed with Sawyer
ok, can't wait. I don't watch lost so I don't know who Sawyer is.
i haven't watched much of lost, it's too scary lol but charlie mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....
Yep, Charlie too :p I'm in love with half the men in it, that's why I watch... :D Only a short one because it wasn't all that funny and I'm all excited about Christmas yay!
*Shannon is hugging Boone's lifeless body*
ME: Has she been doing that for a week? Ew...
SAYID: Can I help you? *sounding for all the world like a shop assistant*
SHANNON: *plays with her dead brother's hair*
SAYID: ... See what I mean? American characters = crazee.
*They have a makeshift funeral for Boone*
JACK: Shannon, do you want to say anything? Seeing as there's no-one else here who really knew him?
SHANNON: ... Nah, I'll pass.
JACK: Um... well... ah, screw it, bury him. See if I care.
SAYID: Waiiiit! On our sixth day here, a woman DROWNED. No-one could save her. Especially not the only doctor.
JACK: Gee, thanks.
SAYID: But Boone was the first to jump in after her. Which proves he was very very brave *tear*
JACK: Yeah, but I jumped in second and then I had to save his a$s, which wasted valuable time, so the woman died indirectly because of him. Which proves he was very very ANNOYING.
SAYID: Jack-
JACK: Also, he slept with his sister. Gross, huh?
SAYID: Jack!
JACK: And he wouldn't let me chop his leg off. I call that petty.
SAYID: JACK!
JACK: What?
LOCKE: *appears suddenly, covered in blood* It was my fault he died.
JACK: *goes completely crazee and hurls himself at Locke, his arms swinging like a gorilla or something* I KEEL!
*The others stop him, because... Locke's shiny head is so irrestistible. I don't know.*
*OMG Claire's baby is so cute awww! And... strangely large, to say he's supposed to be only about a day old or something.*
CHARLIE: Can I take turnip head out?
CLAIRE: Sure.
CHARLIE: Yay. Hey, turnip.
*But the newly named Turnip Head won't stop crying*
HURLEY: *sings "I Feel Good", and rules. This is the best moment of the series.*
*But poor old Turnip isn't impressed. But, as usual, Sawyer saves the day, because Turnippy loves his fantastically sarcastic Deep South accent. Well, he's only one day old and he's definitely got the right ideas.*
SAWYER: I liked that thing better in than out!
TURNIP HEAD: Yay!
*I dribble over Sawyer*
SHANNON: *goes crazee* He killed my brother!
JACK: *stares at Locke*
LOCKE: *stares at Jack*
SHANNON: ...Are we sure there isn't something going on there?
SAYID: *pushes her aside*
*The bullet seems to get Locke right in the gut, but then... he's completely fine. Er...*
fab!! my mate's getting the lost series for christmas so i'm gonna borrow them from her and start watching again - though i'll probs be running behind the sofa cos it's really scary sometimes! lol, but charlie will make it all better! :wub: more soon please :cheer:
I'll write the EE funeral episode tomorrow - i know I'm getting behind :( it's because of Christmas - hey, I'm not complaining :D Presents!
My lovely (:p) version of the Xmas day episode will probably be up on Monday or Tuesday. My mum would stuff the turkey with me if I went on the computer, let alone a messageboard on Christmas Day. :rolleyes: Ooh, I can't wait! Kalfie!
I'm coming on if I can. My sadistic aunt is coming off and is welded to the computer, to play a stupid game on windows xp called spider solitare. Well I can talk, im superglued to the computer to come on these boards lol
We've got spider solitaire too, it's the most annoying game ever :p My mum never stops playing it, it's all she uses the computer for. It's getting slightly scary :D
That's my mum, and my aunt. My aunt doesn't have her own computer, but my mum doesn't even know how to get on the internet or put a password on her account!
Maybe I would have enjoyed the film with you n Becky if there wasn't a fat guy inbetween us.
*shifty eyes*
I totally enjoyed it on my own. Fat arms are good for a headrest.