lol that was good! :D
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lol that was good! :D
An elderly man in North Carolina
An elderly man in North Carolina had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up really nice, along with some picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.
As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. When he came closer, he realized it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end to shield themselves.
One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"
The old man frowned and replied, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked." Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."
Moral of the story: Old men may move slow but can still think fast.
Two Irishmen were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up. A
blonde walks by and asked what they were doing.
Paddy: 'We're supposed to find the height of this flagpole,but we don't
have a ladder.'
The blonde took a spanner from her purse, loosened a few bolts and laid
the flagpole down. She pulled a tape measure from her pocket,took a few
measurements and announced that it was eighteen feetand six inches. She
then walked off.
Mick said: 'Now, to be sure, isn't that just like a blonde! We need the
height and she gives us the length.'
------------------------------------------
In to a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just been run
over by a train.
His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised
and he's walking with a limp.!
'What happened to you?' asks Sean, the bartender..
' Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight,' says Paddy.
'
That little ****, O'Conner,' says Sean, 'He couldn't do that to you, he
must have had something in his hand.'
'That he did,' says Paddy, 'a shovel is what he had, and a terrible
lickin' he gave me with it.'
'Well,' says Sean, 'you should have defended yourself, didn't you have
something in your hand?'
'That I did,' said Paddy.
'Mrs. O'Conner's breast, and a thing of
beauty it was, but useless in a fight.'
**
An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the
city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over
the road.
A cop pulls him over.
'So,' says the cop to the driver,
where have ya been?'
'Why, I've been to the pub of course,'
slurs the drunk.
Well,' says the cop, 'it looks like you've had quite a few to drink
this evening.'
'I did all right,' the drunk says with a smile.
'Did you know,' says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms
across his chest, 'that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of
your car?'
'Oh, thank heavens,' sighs the drunk.
'For a minute there, I thought i'd gone deaf.'
***
Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan
arrives at her door.
'Brenda, may I come in?' he asks.
'I've somethin' to tell ya'.
'Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim.
But where's my husband?'
'That's what I'm here to be telling ya, Brenda.'
There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery...'
'Oh, God no!' cries Brenda. 'Please don't tell me.'
'I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I'm sorry'
Finally, she looked up at Tim.
'How did it happen, Tim?'
'It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guinness Stout and
drowned.'
'Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me truth, Tim.
Did he at least go quickly?'
'Well, Brenda... no. In fact, he got out three times to pee.'
===
And the Best For Last...
A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church,
enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing.
The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention,
but the drunk continues to sit there.
Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall.
The drunk mumbles, 'Ain't no use knockin',
there's no paper on this side either!'
:eek: The last joke :lol:
A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies.
Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.
The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man "Holy crap! That must be my husband!"
So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the window. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his car as fast as he could go.
A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, "I AM your husband!"
The woman yelled back, "Yeah, then why were you running?"
:rotfl: very funny! :rotfl:
A blonde gets a job as a teacher.
During the break, she notices a boy in the field standing alone, while all the other kids are running around having fun.
She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him.
"You OK?" she asks.
"Yes," he says.
"You can go and play with the other kids, you know," she says.
"It's best I stay here," he says.
"Why?" asks the blonde.
And the boys says: "Because I'm the f*cking goalie!"
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, 'Here's to spending the rest of me life between the legs of me wife!'
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary, 'I won the prize for the Best toast of the night.'
She said, 'Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?'
John said, 'Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife.'
'Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!' Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner.
The man chuckled leeringly and said, 'John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary.'
She said, 'Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come.'
After 20 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one evening, when the wife felt her husband begin to fondle her in ways he hadn't in quite some time.
It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving down past the small of her back.
He then caressed her shoulders and neck, slowly worked his hand down over her breasts, stopping just over her lower stomach.
He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, caressed past the side of her breast again, working down her side, passed gently over her buttock and down her leg to her calf.
Then, he proceeded up her inner thigh, stopping just at the uppermost portion of her leg.
He continued in the same manner on her right side, then suddenly stopped, rolled over and started to watch the tv.
As she had become quite aroused by this caressing, she asked in a loving voice, 'That was wonderful. Why did you stop?'
He said.....
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
'I found the remote'.
:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
A good looking man walked into an agent's office in Hollywood and said 'I
want to be a movie star.' Tall, handsome and with experience on Broadway,
he had the right credentials.
The agent asked, 'What's your name?'
The guy said, 'My name is Penis van Lesbian.'
The agent said, 'Sir, I hate to tell you, but in order to get into
Hollywood , you are going to have to change your name.'
'I will NOT change my name! The van Lesbian name is centuries old, I will
not disrespect my grandfather by changing my name. Not ever.'
The agent said, 'Sir, I have worked in Hollywood for years... you will NEVER
go far in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian! I'm telling you,
that you will HAVE TO change your name or I will not be able to represent
you.'
'So be it! I guess we will not do business together' the guy said and he
left the agent's office.
FIVE YEARS LATER..... The agent opens an envelope sent to his office.
Inside the envelope is a letter and a check for $50,000. The agent is
awe-struck, who would possibly send him $ 50,000? He reads the letter
enclosed...
'Dear Sir, Five years ago, I came into your office wanting to become an
actor in Hollywood , you told me I needed to change my name. Determined to
make it with my God-given birth name, I refused. You told me I would never
make it in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian. After I left your
office, I thought about what you said. I decided you were right. I had to
change my name. I had too much pride to return to your office, so I signed
with another agent. I would never have made it without changing my name,
so the enclosed check is a token of my appreciation.
Thank you for your advice..
Sincerely,
Dick van Dyke
A skinhead was window shopping with his girlfriend when she spotted a beautiful diamond ring in a jewelry store window.
"Wow, I'd sure love to have that!" she said.
"No problem, babe," he said, throwing a brick through the glass and grabbing the ring.
A few blocks later, she admired a black leather jacket in another shop window. "What I'd give to own that!" she said.
"Sure thing, honey," he said, throwing another brick through the window and snatching the coat.
Soon they passed a Mercedes dealership. "I'd do anything for one of those!" she said, pointing to a convertible. "Damn it, baby!" cried the skinhead, "do you think I'm made of bricks?!"
Job at the FBI
The FBI had an opening for an assassin.
After all the background checks, interviews
And testing were done, there were 3 finalists;
Two men and a woman.
For the final test, the FBI agents took one of
The men to a large metal door and handed
Him a gun.
'We must know that you will follow your
Instructions no matter what the circumstances.
Inside the room you will find your wife sitting
In a chair..... Kill her!!'
The man said, 'You can't be serious. I could
Never shoot my wife.'
The agent said, 'Then you're not the right man
For this job. Take your wife and go home.'
The second man was given the same instructions.
He took the gun and went into the room. All was
Quiet for about 5 minutes.
The man came out with tears in his eyes, 'I tried,
But I can't kill my wife.' The agent said, 'You don't
Have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.'
Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the
Same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the
Gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one
After another. They heard screaming, crashing,
Banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was
Quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the
Woman, wiping the sweat from her brow.
'This gun is loaded with blanks' she said. 'I had to
Beat him to death with the chair.'
MORAL:
Women are crazy. Don't mess with them
Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old buggy one cold
blustery day.. The daughter said to her mother, "My hands are freezing
cold."
The mother replied, "Put them between your legs. Your body heat will
warm them up." The daughter did and her hands warmed up.
The next day the daughter was riding with her boyfriend who said, "My
hands are freezing cold."
The girl replied, "Put them between my legs. The warmth of my body
will warm them up." He did and warmed his hands.
The following day the boyfriend was again in the buggy with the
daughter. He said, "My nose is cold."
The girl replied, "Put it between my legs. The warmth of my body will
warm it up." He did and warmed his nose.
The next day the boyfriend was again driving with the daughter and he
said, "My penis is frozen solid."
The following day the daughter was driving in the buggy with her
mother and she said to her mother, "Have you ever heard of a penis?"
Slightly concerned the mother said, "Why, yes...?! Why do you ask?"
The daughter replies, "They make one hell of a mess when they defrost,
don't they?!"
That is just plain filth. Got anymore :lol:
A little girl asks her mum, 'Mum, can I take the dog for a walk around the block?'
Her mum replies 'No, because she is on heat.'
'What does that mean?' asked the child.
'Go and ask your father. I think he's in the garage.'
The little girl goes out to the garage and says, 'Dad, can I take Lulu for a walk around the block? I asked Mum, but she said the dog was on the heat, and to come ask you.'
He took a rag, soaked it in petrol, and scrubbed the dog's backside with it to disguise the scent, and said 'Ok, you can go now, but keep Lulu on the leash and only go one time around the block.'
The little girl left and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash..
Surprised, Dad asked, 'Where's Lulu?'
You'll love this!!!!!!!!!)...............
The little girl said, 'She ran out of petrol about halfway round the block, so another dog is pushing her home.'
:eek:!!!!!!!!!
:rotfl: :rotfl: How dirty!
He's disgraceful isn't he. Funny but disgraceful :D
No wonder the rest of the world thinks we're(Americans) nuts
Best lawyer/insurance story of the year, decade, and possibly the century.
This took place in Charlotte North Carolina. A lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against, among other things, fire.
Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars, the lawyer filed a claim against the insurance company.
In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost 'in a series of small fires.' The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason, that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion.
The lawyer sued and WON!
Delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company, in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable 'fire' and was obligated to pay the claim.
Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss of the cigars that perished in the 'fires'.
Now for the best part...
After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!! With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.
This true story won First Place in last year's Criminal Lawyers Award contest.
:D Pretty good story.
I read about this at the time, I like this kind of justice :)
Just to prove that the Irish have a better sense of humour than BT Bosses
---
Definition of an Irish husband: He hasn't kissed his wife for twenty years, but he will kill any man who does.
------------------------------------------------------------
Murphy told Quinn that his wife was driving him to drink. Quinn thinks he's
Very lucky because his own wife makes him walk.
------------------------------------------------------------
The late Bishop Sheen stated that the reason the Irish fight so often among
Themselves is that they're always assured of having a worthy opponent.
------------------------------------------------------------
An American lawyer asked, 'Paddy, why is it that whenever you ask an
Irishman a question, he answers with another question?'
'Who told you that?' asked Paddy.
------------------------------------------------------------
Question - Why are Irish jokes so simple?
Answer - So the English can understand them.
------------------------------------------------------------
Reilly went to trial for armed robbery. The jury foreman came out and
Announced, 'Not guilty.'
'That's grand!' shouted Reilly. 'Does that mean I can keep the money?'
------------------------------------------------------------
Irish lass customer: 'Could I be trying on that dress in the window?'
Shopkeeper: 'I'd prefer that you use the dressing room.'
------------------------------------------------------------
Mrs.. Feeney shouted from the kitchen, 'Is that you I hear spittin' in the
Vase on the mantle piece?'
'No,' said himself, 'but I'm getting closer all the time.'
------------------------------------------------------------
Q. What do you call an Irishman who knows how to control a wife?
A. A bachelor.
------------------------------------------------------------
Finnegin: My wife has a terrible habit of staying up 'til two o'clock in the
Morning. I can't break her of it.
Keenan: What on earth is she doin' at that time?
Finnegin: Waitin' for me to come home.
------------------------------------------------------------
Slaney phoned the maternity ward at the hospital.. 'Quick!' He said.
'Send an ambulance, my wife is goin' to have a baby!'
'Tell me, is this her first baby?' the intern asked.
'No, this is her husband, Kevin, speakin'.'
------------------------------------------------------------
'O'Ryan,' asked the druggist, 'did that mudpack I gave you
Improve your wife's appearance?'
'It did surely,' replied O'Ryan, 'but it keeps fallin' off!'
------------------------------------------------------------
Did you hear about the Irish newlyweds who sat up all night on their honeymoon
Waiting for their sexual relations to arrive?
------------------------------------------------------------
My mother wanted me to be a priest. Can you imagine giving up your sex life
And then once a week people come in to tell you the details and highlights of theirs?
Now that is a very good point :pQuote:
Originally Posted by alan45
hard to get a pay raise these days
The Day the Penis asked for a Raise
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labor.
I work at great depths.
I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
I work in a damp environment.
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
Sincerely,
P. Niss
The Response
Dear Penis:
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight.
You fall asleep after brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders of the management team. You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the
correct protective clothing.
You will retire well before you are 65.
You are unable to work double shifts.
You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task.
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
Sincerely,
First-year students at a Vet school were receiving their first
anatomy class, with a dead cow. They all gathered around the surgery
table with the body covered with a white sheet..
The professor started the class by telling them, "In Veterinary Medicine
it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor: The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the animal body." For
an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the
butt of the dead cow, withdrew it and stuck it in his mouth. "Go ahead
and do the same thing," he told his students.
The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes. But eventually
took turns sticking a finger in the anal opening of the dead cow and
sucking on it.
When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and said, "The
second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle
finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention. Life's
tough, it's even tougher if you're stupid."
Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married.
She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.
One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room.
She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.
As he sat facing her old Hammond organ the young minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it.
The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated, of all things, a condom!
When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat.
The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist.
'Miss Beatrice' he said, 'I wonder if you would tell me about this?' pointing to the bowl.
'Oh yes' she replied, 'Isn't it wonderful?' I was walking in through the park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground.
The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter'
One day while he was at the track playing the ponies and all but losing his shirt, Mitch noticed a priest who stepped out onto the track and blessed the forehead of one of the horses lining up for the 4th race.
Lo and behold, that horse - a very long shot - won the race..
Before the next race, as the horses began lining up, Mitch watched with interest the old priest step onto the track. Sure enough, as the 5th race horses came to the starting gate the priest made a blessing on the forehead of one of the horses.
Mitch made a beeline for a betting window and placed a small bet on the horse. Again, even though it was another long shot, the horse the priest had blessed won the race.
Mitch collected his winnings, and anxiously waited to see which horse the priest would bless for the 6th race. The priest again blessed a horse.
Mitch bet big on it, and it won. Mitch was elated.. As the races continued the priest kept blessing long shot horses, and each one ended up coming in first.
Bye and bye, Mitch was pulling in some serious money. By the last race, he knew his wildest dreams were going to come true. He made a quick dash to the ATM, withdrew all his savings, and awaited the priest's blessing that woul d tell him which horse to bet on.
True to his pattern, the priest stepped onto the track for the last race and blessed the forehead of an old nag that was the longest shot of the day. Mitch also observed the priest blessing the eyes, ears and hooves of the old nag.
Mitch knew he had a winner and bet every cent he owned on the old nag.
He then watched dumbfounded as the old nag come in dead last. Mitch, in a state of shock, made his way down to the track area where the priest was.
Confronting the old priest he demanded, 'Father! What happened?
All day long you blessed horses and they all won. Then in the last race, the horse you blessed lost by a Kentucky mile. Now, thanks to you I've lost every cent of my savings - all of it!'.
The priest nodded wisely and with sympathy.. 'Son,' he said, 'that's the problem with you Protestants, you can't tell the difference between a simple blessing and last rites’
:lol: :lol: HA! HA! Classic Alan
A Irishman wants a job, but the foreman won't hire him until he passes a little math test.
Here is your first question, the foreman said. "Without using numbers, represent the number 9."
"Without numbers?" The Irishman says? "Dat is easy." And proceeds to draw three trees.
"What's this?" the boss asks.
"Have you ain't got no brain? Tree and tree plus tree makes 9" says the Irishman.
"Fair enough," says the boss. "Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99."
The Irishman stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree... "Ere you go."
The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?"
"Each of da trees is dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, plus dirty tree. Dat makes 99."
The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually have to hire this Irishman, so he says, "All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100."
The Irishman stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, "Ere you go. One hundred."
The boss looks at the attempt. "You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!"
The Irishman leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and whispers, "A little dog come along and poop by each tree.
So now you got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, which makes ONE HUNDRED!"
The Irishman is the new supervisor.
haha lol that made me laugh! :D
A man was leaving a cafe with his morning coffee when he noticed a
most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.
A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about
50 feet behind the first.
Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a pit-bull on a
leash.
Behind him was a queue of 200 men walking in single file. The man
couldn't stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the man
walking the dog. 'I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a
bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this
with so many of you walking in single file..
Whose funeral is it?'
The man replied, 'Well, the first hearse is for my wife'
'What happened to her?'
The man replied ' My dog attacked and killed her.'
He inquired further, 'Well, who is in the second hearse?'
The man answered 'My Mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife
when the dog turned on her.'
A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passes between the two
men.
'Can I borrow the dog?'
'Join the queue.
The ladies will love this
Baby bear goes downstairs, sits in his small chair at the table. He looks
into his small bowl. It is empty. 'Who's been eating my porridge?' he
squeaks.
Daddy Bear arrives at the big table and sits in his big chair. He looks into
his big bowl and it is also empty. 'Who's been eating my porridge?!?' he
roars.
Mummy Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and
yells, 'For God's sake, how many times do I have to go through this with you
idiots? It was Mummy Bear who got up first. It was Mummy Bear who woke
everyone in the house. It was Mummy Bear who made the coffee. It was Mummy
Bear who unloaded the dishwasher from last night and put everything away.'
'It was Mummy Bear who swept the floor in the kitchen. It was Mummy Bear who
went out in the cold early morning air to fetch The newspaper and
croissants. It was Mummy Bear who set the damn table.'
'It was Mummy Bear who walked the bloody dog, cleaned the cat's litter tray,
gave them their food, and refilled their water.'
'And now that you've decided to drag your sorry bear-asses downstairs and
grace Mummy Bear with your grumpy presence, listen carefully, because I'm
only going to say this once....'
"I HAVEN'T MADE THE ********NG PORRIDGE YET!!"
:lol: I love it.
Love this line :D That's me in the morning.Quote:
sorry bear-asses downstairs and grace Mummy Bear with your grumpy presence,
I'm a Mama Bear at work. If I'm busy and haven't filled the kettles for the lecturers coming for their tea they moan I yelled hang on until I find that brush with the big pointed handle so I can shove it up my ass and sweep the floor while I'm at it. :lol:
haha love it! :D
THE TAXMAN COMETH
>
> At the end of the tax year, the Tax Office sent an inspector to audit
> the books of a Synagogue.
>
>
> While he was checking the books he turned to the Rabbi and said, 'I
> notice you buy a lot of candles. What do you do with the candle
> drippings?'
>
>
> 'Good question,' noted the Rabbi. 'We save them up and send them back to
> the candle makers, and every now and then they send us a free box of
> candles.'
>
>
> 'Oh,' replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual
> question had a practical answer.
>
>
> But on he went, in his obnoxious way:
>
> 'What about all these bread-wafer purchases? What do you do with the
> crumbs?'
>
> 'Ah, yes,' replied the Rabbi, realising that the inspector was trying to
> trap him with an unanswerable question. 'We collect them and send them
> back to the manufacturers, and every now and then they send us a free
> box of bread-wafers.'
>
> 'I see,' replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster
> the know-it-all Rabbi. 'Well, Rabbi,' he went on, 'what do you do with
> all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?'
>
> 'Here, too, we do not waste,' answered the Rabbi....... ........
>
> 'What we do is save all the foreskins and send them to the Tax Office,
> and about once a year they send us a complete dick.'
Ha ha, that one made me laugh out loud :lol:
haha that was funny! :D
In deference to The Archbishop of Canterbury and
The Royal Commission for Political Correctness,
it was announced today that the local climate in the
most of the UK should no longer be referred to as
'English Weather'.
Rather than offend a sizeable portion of the population,
it will now be referred to as 'Muslim Weather'.
In other words - partly Sunni, but mostly Shi'ite.
Good one :lol: