Cool. Mre asap please:)
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Cool. Mre asap please:)
*The next morning*
*KAT and ALFIE wake up next to each other*
KAT: Good morning....
ALFIE: Very, very good morning.
KAT: Yay, we did it!
ALFIE: *huge grin* Finally...
KAT: *stops* I meant that we realised we loved each other.
ALFIE: *quickly* Oh yeah, that's what I meant.
KAT: I wonder what happened to Andy.
ANDY: *has slept on a park bench outside the Vic* Woe.
ALFIE: Ah, don't worry about him. You've got me now...
KAT: *happy sigh* Yay...
ALFIE: So, erm, did... you like it...?
KAT: I'm not answering that... you'll be wanting marks out of ten in a minute.
*She actually said that on the show, tee hee*
ALFIE: *puts a little notebook and pencil away sadly* Oh. Okay then.
KAT: Hmm, maybe I'd better get dressed.
ALFIE: Please don't.
KAT: What?
ALFIE: You don't have any clothes over here, that's what I said.
*Later, LITTLE MO comes over to the Vic*
LITTLE MO: Kat I wanted to know how you were and if it'd be okay if I stole your husband two years from now?
KAT: I'm fine - guess what! Me and Alfie got together!
LITTLE MO: *appears to be amazed, despite the fact that KAT is wearing ALFIE's kimono and is otherwise naked, and obviously stayed the night* Oh, that's great!
ALFIE: Oh, it was.
KAT: *elbows him* And we're gonna get married!
ALFIE: We are?
KAT: ...
ALFIE: We are.
Great. More soon please:D
it's all fab but especially like this line ^ next part soon please! :cheer:Quote:
Originally Posted by crazy_purple
I was in an exam today and I couldn't think of a word until 2 mins before the end when I remembered it - you know how I always say "yay!" in these scripts? Well I nearly did in the exam :D But I stopped just in time... I think that means I've been saying it too much...:rolleyes:
------
*There is a scene involving ALFIE talking to LITTLE MO - he is worried about the size of the engagement ring he's bought KAT. This actually happened. I am not making this up. I say that just in case you think I am, and that I have a very dirty mind. Which I do, but hey.*
ALFIE: *he and LITTLE MO are stood round the corner so we can't see them and this just adds to the double entendre-thingy* Do you think it's big enough?
LITTLE MO: Of course it is.
THE VIEWERS: OMG! WTF! Am I on the right channel here?
ALFIE: It isn't, it's tiny... what if she doesn't like it?
LITTLE MO: Oh, she will. Trust me.
THE VIEWERS: Oh dear God this is disturbing.
*The camera pans round the corner*
THE VIEWERS: Nooooo! Don't go there! Pleeeeease!
ALFIE: But it's no good her having a tiny engagement ring, is it?
THE VIEWERS: OMG... Phew! *relieved*
THE SCRIPTWRITERS: Ha! You all have dirty minds! Fancy imagining something like that!
*And after that... rather disturbing scene, we go to:*
KAT: Alfie I want a Christmas wedding.
ALFIE: I don't know if I'll be able to work that out-
KAT: Perhaps I didn't make it clear. I want a Christmas Day wedding, or you will NEVER GET IN MY PANTS AGAIN. Okay?
ALFIE: ... Okay.
:rotfl: . Great, more soon please.
:lol: that was fab!!! more soon please :cheer:
It's great,please do some more soon!!:rotfl: :rotfl:
I just thought of a brilliant idea for a video with bits from this script! I'll put it up soon as it's finished... :p
:eek: that sounds really cool! can't wait for it! :cheer:
:angry: Windows movie maker is eeevil, it only does it in one format and the websites won't accept it so I can't upload it :crying:
In order to save the movies in a format that you can upload them, you have to go to save movie file and save your movie that way.Quote:
Originally Posted by crazy_purple
Bill Nye the science guy! XDQuote:
Originally Posted by crazy_purple
...BIll Bill Bill Bill! *cheerleads*
:rotfl: It's slightly - slightly - slightly - s- l - slightly.... STFU, BILL! :DQuote:
Originally Posted by Elect-Death_13
The Day Before Christmas Eve
KAT: Alfie I can't believe we're getting married on Christmas Day in the Vic it's so exciting squee!
ALFIE: ... That reminds me, must get divorced from my last wife.
KAT: What was that?
ALFIE: Nothing.
*They have a hen/stag night by themselves, just the 2 of them, in a restaurant, awww*
KAT: I bet you can't eat a hotter curry than me.
ALFIE: Baby, you're the hottest curry in this room.
KAT: ...
ALFIE: ... What?
KAT: That was the weirdest metaphor ever.
ALFIE: What's a metaphor?
KAT: Sigh.
ALFIE: Waiter! Waiter?
*The WAITER comes over*
WAITER: Yes?
ALFIE: Your hottest curry, if you please!
WAITER: Sigh. Whateverrr.
KAT: Hmph. Well, you can't outdrink me.
ALFIE: I can.
KAT: No, I could drink you under the table! Ha!
ALFIE: You could do a lot of things to me under the table. *wink*
KAT: ... Okay, what is wrong with you tonight?
ALFIE: Oh, nothing. Only I'm still married to my previous wife and we're getting married in two days and I'm so not a bigamist, I'm just unfortunate.
KAT: Ooh, our curry is here!
*ALFIE gets embarrassingly drunk and KAT takes him back to the Vic. Before leaving, she handcuffs him to the bed, because... she feels like it? I don't know.*
*The Next Morning (Christmas Eve)*
ALFIE: *wakes up, sees he is handcuffed to the bed* OMG what happened last night?
*KAT is not there. ALFIE is even more worried by this.*
ALFIE: Nooo I need to get to the divorce office thingy! It shuts soon! Damn you, kinky wife!
*He tries to get out of the handcuffs but can't.*
ALFIE: Oh, crap. I'd better shout someone. NANA- Oh no wait stop BAD IDEA SO VERY VERY WRONG.
NANA: *coming in* Yes, dearie?
ALFIE: No, don't come in! Just wait there! Please!
NANA: ... Have you had an accident again?
ALFIE: No! Just go and get someone, will you?
NANA: *gets GARRY*
GARRY: *chuckles* Well, lucky you.
ALFIE: STFU, FOOL.
GARRY: Well, this'll take a minute-
ALFIE: Hurry up!
*GARRY eventually gets ALFIE free by sawing the handcuffs in half*
ALFIE: Yay! Now, let's never speak of this again.
*They never do.*
Great:) More soon please:D
25th November episode (I'll do more of the Kalfie one in a min) This might contain some spoilers (in comedy form :D )
JOHNNY: Ooh it's a month til Christmas whooo!
RUBY: I HATE YOU SO MUCH!
JOHNNY: Season's greetings to you too.
DENNIS: *is studly*
SHARON: *is damn lucky*
DENNIS: Yay let's do this money jar thing where we put a penny in every time we do it for the first 6 months and then take one out every time after that, squee!
SHARON: .... Yay!
DENNIS: *puts 3 pounds in*
ME: *jawdrop* 300? Damn, she really is lucky.
DENNIS: And that's just since yesterday.
ME: OMG! Blimey... *holds head*
*I suddenly realise that they are using pound coins instead of pennies, and I am very, very relieved.*
SONIA: I'm going out with Naomi.
MARTIN: What?!
SONIA: ... To the pub. Totally to the pub. *looks away, whistling*
MARTIN: Oh, that's alright then.
*SHARON and DENNIS stare happily at the money jar, which I was planning on calling 'the sex jar' but that would just be... too weird.*
SHARON: Look! A plot point! In six months time I wonder if we'll take money out of it.
DENNIS: Well, obviously. That's the whole point of the jar. I mean, duh.
SHARON: No, I mean wouldn't it be ironic if we said we were going to follow the instructions and all, but then one of us wasn't even here in 6 months time? Dead, even? Then I could sit here and stare at the jar and cryyyyy.
DENNIS: Woman, shut up!
JOHNNY: *is very, very evil*
RUBY: *writes him a cute letter about how she loves him and stuff*
JOHNNY: *is still very, very evil*
NAOMI: Nah, I just don't fancy Garry.
SONIA: *is surprised, for some reason* OMG why not?
NAOMI: I just don't...
SONIA: ... You're weird. You're not confused about your sexuality or anything, are you? Because I'm very kissable at the mo.
NAOMI: ... I'll bear that in mind.
JOHNNY: *pretends to be friends with JULEY* Ruby, go wait in my office, will you? It has amazing CCTV powers. In colour and everything.
RUBY: Okay!
*But oh noes! JOHNNY's Terrible Hand Of Death and Doom reappears*
JULEY: Man, what the hell?
JOHNNY: You'd be surprised what I can do with this thing. It has amazing powers - I can lift people over railings on a bridge and chuck them off it, for example. Using only this one hand.
JULEY: Eek!
JOHNNY: Yes - it's Johnny's Super Hand! I ought to copyright that.
RUBY: *watching on CCTV* That's kind of a long handshake... Eh, I'm sure it's perfectly normal.
:rotfl: fab! more soon please :cheer:
Great, more soon please.
*Christmas Day - the day of Kat and Alfie's wedding. Alfie still hasn't managed to get divorced from his previous wife. I'd say he was cutting it a bit fine, wouldn't you?*
ALFIE: Gah Kat will hate me forever nooo!
SPENCER: What's up?
ALFIE: Um.. you know that other woman I used to be married to?
SPENCER: Liza?
ALFIE: Yeah - well, the thing is... we're still married.
SPENCER: OMG!
ALFIE: Eh, I'm sure it'll be fine. I know! I'll get a fake registrar in so Kat thinks we're married but we're not really!
SPENCER: ...
ALFIE: That's a brilliant plan! *pats himself on the back*
SPENCER: ... There's so many words for "plonker" in the English language, I can't quite choose one.
KAT: Yay we're getting married... Alfie I love you lots and lots...
ALFIE: *cries*
THE FAKE REGISTRAR: *is AKA David Walliams, whooo!*
KAT: I'm so happy, nothing could spoil this moment! Don't you think so, Alfie?
ALFIE: ... Mmm.
*You'd think someone would notice that one of the members of the Light Brigade just before the charge into the Valley would have looked happier than ALFIE, but somehow KAT doesn't even notice.*
THE FAKE REGISTRAR: Disgruntled badger painting, anyone? Oh - if you have a problem, blah de blah, speak now or forever hold your peace.
ALFIE: *closes his eyes and raises his hand*
KAT: WTF?
Great:). More asap please:)
lol, fab! more soon please :cheer:
fab! more soon!!! :D
*They go upstairs, squee*
ALFIE: Well, i didn't think you'd forgive me this qui-
KAT: STFU! Why the hell did you put your hand up?
ALFIE: Because that's a fake registrar and he's really crazy crazy David Walliams?
KAT: What, the one with the disappointed horse?
ALFIE: .... Yes. Anyway, I'm kind of still married to my first wife please don't kill me.
KAT: ....
ALFIE: I might have got to the solicitors in time yesterday if you hadn't actually handcuffed me to the bed. So, technically, this is all your fault.
KAT: RAAAAA!
ALFIE: *squeaks*
KAT: You realise I've had 2 weddings now and you've managed to ruin them both? What is this, some kind of fetish?
ALFIE: I'm sorry...
KAT: Damn right you're sorry!
ALFIE: I love you....
KAT: I HATE YOU RIGHT NOW!
ALFIE: *cries*
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more tomorrow evening gotta go
Everytime she writes one, all you peole ever do is say "More soon ASAP!" :hmm: All take & no give! :p
Yeah well, it's a brilliant script:)
lol, that was fab :cheer:
and you can please do some for tonight's ee as it was such a boring episode and i'll know you make it loads better :thumbsup:
Great More Soon Please!
Monday 28th November EE episode
Short because I can't even remember what happened, it was that boring.
JOHNNY: I meant what I said, yeah? Come within ten feet of Ruby and I keel you.
JULEY: Ten feet? *gets measuring tape out*
JOHNNY: I am totally not overprotective. At all.
MARTIN: I can't believe you got drunk last night.
SONIA: Oh yes, because that's so unusual for EastEnders. The only social event round here is going to the pub. Can you blame me?
MARTIN: Was that backchat? I think it was.
SONIA: Oh, shut up.
MARTIN: NO SEX FOR YOU!
SONIA: .... Gutted.
MARTIN: Hmph.
SONIA: Why are you so mad at me, anyway? Because I have one friend?
MARTIN: That's one more than I have! It's not fair! Plus, you said something to me last night when you got into bed drunk.
SONIA: Really? What was it?
MARTIN: *gives her the hand, turns away*
SONIA: ... What did I say?
PAULINE: They've arrested Betty!
SONIA and MARTIN: ....
*We do not actually find out what it was that SONIA said to MARTIN. I wish they'd stop it with the loose ends already.*
RUBY: Yay Juley I luv u!
JULEY: You speak in text-talk?
RUBY: Yay!
JULEY: Gr8.... NO SEX FOR YOU!
RUBY: ...What is with that today?
*Later*
RUBY: So, you dumped me?
JULEY: No!
RUBY: .... Well, make your mind up.
JULEY: I'm kind of attached to my kneecaps.
RUBY: Well, duh.
JULEY: ...
RUBY: So, we're still together?
JULEY: Yeah! Just tell no-one.
*RUBY promptly tells someone. Oops.*
RUBY: OMG Stacey me and Juley are in lurve, squee!
STACEY: Well, whoopie-doo.
SONIA: Naomi it's not fair! Me and Martin hate each other!
NAOMI: Aww! *hug*
*They make meaningful eyes at each other*
SONIA: ...Yeah, I think I should be going now.
NAOMI: *huskily* The question is... do you want to?
SONIA: Do I want to what? ...Oh.
*Snogginess commences.*
Thats fab:D
excellent! you made it loads better! :cheer:
Thanks,that was really good,soooooo much better than the actual boring episode EastEnders gave us yesterday!!
Tuesday 29th November EE episode
Another amazingly boring episode - how do they do it?
SONIA: That was a mistake!
NAOMI: Well, you were doing most of the snogging, as I recall -
SONIA: I think it's best we don't see each other anymore!
NAOMI: So... am I dumped, or what?
SONIA: *runs away because she can't handle the situation that she helped create, the silly girrrrrl.*
NANA: *is getting worse, awww noes*
ALFIE: Everything's fine! Duchess, how are ya?
PEGGY: Do you want to be the manager again?
ALFIE: Wheeee! Yay.
PEGGY: Duchess 'n' Alfie hug!
ALFIE: *hug*
NANA: *watching* Are we quite sure there isn't something going on there?
MARTIN: Sonia, I'm sorry about -
SONIA: *snog*
MARTIN: Yay!
*Later*
SONIA: I'm so happy...
MARTIN: Me too...
THE YOUNG KIDS/TEEN AUDIENCE: Mental note: Sex solves everything. No exceptions.
THE SCRIPTWRITERS: *look away, whistling*
NANA: William?
ALFIE: Um... to all intents and purposes.
NANA: I thought you were dead.
ALFIE: Oh, I'm... not. Clearly. And this won't confuse you even further at all now, will it?
NANA: Yay. I missed you.
*ALFIE is sad, and kisses her hand*
*I am glad she doesn't ask 'WILLIAM' for a quick snog, seeing as he's miraculously risen from the dead and all. Because that would be creepy. And ALFIE would probably do it too, just to keep her happy. Ew. I shouldn't have started this train of thought at all, should I?*
RUBY: Juley I hate you! *cries*
JULEY: *is confused*
*Later*
RUBY: Dad I broke up with Juley! *cries*
JOHNNY: Oh noes! Let's have some tea. Tea fixes everything.
RUBY: Tee hee I didn't really.
THE AUDIENCE: Wait, what?
KAT: *OMG totally flirts with ALFIE and bats her eyelids at him and EVERYTHING. Unless she just has something stuck in her eye.*
ALFIE: ... What do you want?
KAT: Kitchen table?
ALFIE: What?
KAT: Why did you take Nana out in this weather? It's freezing. She looked like she was ABOUT TO DIE.
ALFIE: Probably because she i- I mean, she's fine.
KAT: *moves closer to him and we think she's gonna snog his face off like old times, yay! But she... doesn't.* Alfie, when did you last shave?
ALFIE: ... That was kind of the last thing I expected anyone to say, ever, but hey. STFU none of your business just because you fancy me.
KAT: *calling after him* Stubblyhead! Stubblyhead!
*Later*
*KAT looks across the Square and sees ALFIE emerging from his house at night with a pretty woman! Gasp!*
KAT: You know, he's such a sl*t.
Fab:D
:rotfl: you made another boring episode hilarious, especially like this:
:lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by crazy_purple
Back to the random Kalfie script:
KAT: Couldn't you have told me any of this, you know, before the wedding?
ALFIE: No.
KAT: You. Are. Such. An. A*sehole.
ALFIE: Look, I'm sure we can sit down and talk this through like the responsible adults that we are.
KAT: *locks herself in the bathroom*
ALFIE: Sigh.
ALFIE: Er... I'm afraid the wedding's kind of .... been cancelled. Kat hates me *cries*
ZOE: Whoa, deja vu.
ALFIE: Ah well. I'll get over it. Plenty more fish in the sea -
THE NOT-FAKE REGISTRAR: Hey! Your divorce came through!
ALFIE: WTF?
THE NOT-FAKE REGISTRAR: You can get married!
ALFIE: Couldn't you have told me this before I destroyed mine and Kat's relationship?
THE NOT-FAKE REGISTRAR: No.
ALFIE: Kat! Come down here! We're getting married!
KAT: STFU.
ALFIE: No, we really are this time!
KAT: *comes out* We are?
ALFIE: Yep!
KAT: Yay! *they snog, and all is magically forgiven. Wow, he must be a good kisser.*
ALFIE: Um... it might be best if we don't tell anyone that you spent most of our wedding day locked in the bathroom.
*They get married! Yay!*
THE NOT-FAKE REGISTRAR: You may now kiss the -
KAT: *snogs most of ALFIE's face right off*
ALFIE: Oooh.
THE FAKE REGISTRAR: Hmph. I did a better job than him. But am I bothered? No. Am I bothered? No.
KAT: P.S.: Wrong sketchshow.
THE FAKE REGISTRAR: Shut arp. *Leaves - nooo! David Walliams! EastEnders neeeeeds you! Ahem.*
*They go outside and KAT is so thrilled by the snow machine that she snogs the rest of ALFIE's face off that she missed before.*
ALFIE: Oooooh.
*And then KAT looks up and there is a FULL MOON and squeee! a happy ending! And it's the Man in the Moon! Yay! Double yay! Okay, maybe I'm overreacting.*
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:eek: I only just realised that Andy is actually dead! :rolleyes: And I'm now refusing to type the dreaded word M*lfie. It has become a swearword, people.
lol, fab more soon please! :cheer:
That's great,more soon please!!
That was really good!
Great:D