If they're rude you can post them in the mile high forum when you reach 1000 posts.
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If they're rude you can post them in the mile high forum when you reach 1000 posts.
Uh. Uh **jumps up and down**, nearly there :eek:Quote:
Originally Posted by Abigail
Posts in fun and games and banner/fan art don't count towards your post number.
I know, thank you but I am sure I can achieve another 8 posts or so by this weekend. :thumbsup:Quote:
Originally Posted by Abigail
Some Words That Should Exist
1. ACCORDIONATED (ah kor' de on ay tid) adj. Being able to drive and re fold a road map at the same time.
2. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks' trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.
3. AQUALIBRIUM (ak wa bib' re um) n. The point where the stream of drinking fountain water is at its perfect height, thus relieving the drinker from (a) having to suck the nozzle, or (b) squirting himself in the eye (or ear).
4. BURGACIDE (burg' uh side) n. When a hamburger can't take any more torture and hurls itself through the grill into the coals.
5. BUZZACKS (buz' aks) n. People in phone marts who walk around picking up display phones and listening for dial tones even when they know the phones are not connected.
6. CARPERPETUATION (kar' pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.
7. DIMP (dimp) n. A person who insults you in a cheap department store by asking, "Do you work here?"
8. DISCONFECT (dis kon fect') v. To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, somehow assuming this will remove all the germs.
9. ECNALUBMA (ek na leb' ma) n. A rescue vehicle which can only be seen in the rear view mirror.
10. EIFFELITES (eye' ful eyetz) n. Gangly people sitting in front of you at the movies who, no matter which direction you lean in, follow suit.
11. ELBONICS (el bon icks') n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.
12. ELECELLERATON (el a cel er ay' shun) n. The mistaken notion that the more you press an elevator button the faster it will arrive.
13. FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.
14. LACTOMANGULATION (lak to man gyu lay' shun) v. Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the illegal side.
15. NEONPHANCY (ne on' fan see) n. A fluorescent light bulb struggling to come to life.
16. PEPPIER (pehp ee ay') n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want ground pepper.
17. PETROPHOBIC (pet ro fob' ik) adj. One who is embarrassed to undress in front of a household pet.
18. PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.
19. PUPKUS (pup kus') n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses it nose to it.
20. TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n. The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, when you're only six inches away.
They are very believable expressions :lol: Very good!Quote:
Originally Posted by StarsOfCCTV
:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:Quote:
Originally Posted by StarsOfCCTV
A man in a state of excessive inebriation rolled up at a
fairground rifle range booth and threw down the necessary
money. The booth operator at first refused to let him have a
turn, considering that his inebriated state would endanger the
public. But the drunk insisted and was given a gun.
He aimed unsteadily in the general direction of the target and
after tying to focus, pulled the trigger three times. The booth
owner, on inspecting the target, was astonished to see that he
had scored three bullseyes. The star prize for the evening was
a large set of glassware, but the showman was certain that the
drunk wasn't aware of what he had done, and gave him instead
a consolation prize, a small, live turtle. The drunk wandered
off into the crowd.
An hour or so later he came back, even more drunk than
before. Once again the showman demurred, but once again the
drunk insisted, and once more scored three bullseyes and was
given another turtle.
Eventually the drunk rolled up again and insisted on a third
attempt. Once more he picked up the rifle, waved it around in
the general direction of the target, and pulled the trigger three
times. Once more he had scored three bullseyes. But this time
there was an onlooker with good eyesight."That's fantastic", the
man said. "Hasn't he scored three bulls?"
The showman, cursing his luck, made a show of going over to
the target and inspecting it closely.
"Yes, sir!", he announced to the crowd. "This is fantastic!
Congratulations, sir, you have won the star prize, this
magnificent 68-piece set of glassware!"
"I don't want any bloody glasses", the drunk replied. "Give me
another one of those little crusty meat pies!"
---------------------------------------------------------------------
DOUBLE VODKA
A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman "Give me six
double vodka."
The barman says "Wow! you must have had one really bad day."
"Yes, I've just found out my older brother is gay."
The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same
drinks.
When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came
back,
"I've just found out that my younger brother is gay too!"
On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six
double vodkas.
The bartender said "WOW! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?"
"Yeah, my wife..."
The Mum Test
The Mum Test: I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that. ' Why? ' my daughter asked. ' Because it ' s been on the ground, you don ' t know where it ' s been, it ' s dirty, and probably has germs. ' I replied. At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, ' Mum, how do you know all this stuff, you are so smart? ' I was thinking quickly. ' All mums know this stuff. It ' s on the Mum Test. You have to know it, or they don ' t let you be a Mum. ' We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information. ' OHHH. . . I get it! ' She beamed, ' So if you don ' t pass the test you have to be the dad. ' ' ' Exactly ' I replied back with a big smile on my face.
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller… He can see from her nameplate that the teller’s name is Patricia Whack.
So he says, “Ms. Whack, I’d like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation.” Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow. The frog says “$30,000”. The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it’s all OK because he knows the branch manager.
Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral. The frog says, “Sure. I have this,” and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall. Bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patti explains that she’ll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office. She finds the manager and says: “There’s a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000. And he wants to use this as collateral.” She holds up the tiny pink elephant. “I mean, what the heck is this all about?”
>
>
>
>
>
(Are you ready ???) …..
>
>
>
>
>
…The bank manager looks back at her and says: “Obviously - It’s a knick knack, Patti Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man’s a Rolling Stone.
Advantages Of Being A Woman
1. We got off the Titanic first.
2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.
3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.
4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.
6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.
7. Taxis stop for us.
8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).
11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.
12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.
13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.
15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.
16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.
18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.
21. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
22. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
23. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.
24. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
25. We'll never regret piercing our ears.
26. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
27. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.
28. We have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out of being lost is to ask for directions.
A man walked into the produce section of his local supermarket, and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy working in that department told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce. The man was insistent that the boy ask his manager about the matter.
Walking into the back room, the boy said to the manager, 'Some old bustard wants to buy half a head of lettuce.' As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him, so he quickly added, 'and this gentleman kindly offered to buy the other half.'
The manager approved the deal, and the man went on his way.
Later the manager said to the boy, 'I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from, son?'
'New Zealand, sir,' the boy replied.
'Well, why did you leave New Zealand?' the manager asked.
The boy said, 'Sir, there's nothing but whores and rugby players there.'
'Really,' replied the manager? 'My wife is from New Zealand!'
'Really??' replied the boy. 'Who'd she play for?'
An exhausted looking blonde dragged himself in to the doctor's office. "Doctor, there are dogs all over my neighborhood. They bark all day and all night, and I can't get a wink of sleep."
"I have good news for you," the doctor answered, rummaging through a drawer full of sample medications. "Here are some new sleeping pills that work like a dream. A few of these and your trouble will be over."
"Great," the blonde answered, "I'll try anything. Let's give it a shot."
A few weeks later the blonde returned, looking worse than ever. "Doc, your plan is no good. I'm more tired than before!"
"I don't understand how that could be", said the doctor, shaking his head. "Those are the strongest pills on the market!"
"That may be true," answered the blonde wearily, "but I'm still up all night chasing those dogs and when I finally catch one it's hard getting him to swallow the pill!"
A blonde and a brunette are walking past a flower shop.
The brunette sees her boyfriend inside and says: "Oh no, my boyfriend is inside buying me flowers again."
The blonde asks: "Why is that so bad?"
The brunette says:"Every time he buys me flowers, he expects something in return and I don't feel like spending the entire weekend with my legs in the air."
The blonde asks:"Why, don't you have a vase?"
:lol: Lol thats a good blonde jokeQuote:
Originally Posted by miccisy
A blonde thought if she died her hair brown she would become smarter. Whilst driving in the country she spotted this farmer herding sheep and asked him "If I guess how many sheep you have will you let me have one?" The man said "Sure." Well she looked over and over and said 73. He said "Wow your good." So the blonde claimed her prize. While walking her back to the car the man said "If I guess your hair color can you give me my dog back?"
A young couple are out for a romantic walk along a country lane. They
walk hand in hand and as they stroll the guy's lustful desire rises to a
peak. He is just about to get frisky when she says, "I hope you don't
mind but I really do need to pee."
Slightly taken aback by this vulgarity he replies, "OK. Why don't you go
behind this hedge."
She nods agreement and disappears behind the hedge. As he waits he can
hear the sound of nylon knickers rolling down her voluptuous legs and
imagines what is being exposed. Unable to contain his animal thoughts a
moment longer, he reaches a hand through the hedge and touches her leg.
He quickly brings his hand further up her thigh until suddenly and with
great astonishment finds himself gripping a long, thick appendage
hanging between her legs.
He shouts in horror, "My God Mary ... have you changed your sex?"
"No," she replies. "I've changed my mind, I'm having a s**t instead."
Eeeeeeewwww :sick: :p :lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by miccisy
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?
What is the speed of darkness?
Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours?
Are there specially reserved parking spaces for 'normal' people at the Special Olympics?
If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?
Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Did you ever stop and wonder.....
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze
these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?'
Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum.'
Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Stop singing and read on....... :rotfl:
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
These are so funny :lol:
:sick: :sick: EwwwwwQuote:
Originally Posted by miccisy
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN
Take off clothes and place them sectioned in the laundry basket
according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to
do more sit-ups/leg-lifts etc.
Get in the shower.
Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it is clean.
Condition your hair with conditioner enhanced with grapefruit and
mint.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mould spots with tile cleaner.
Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in a super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and the hand towel on
head.
If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave in a pile on the floor.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see your wife along the way, shake willy at her making the "woo-woo" sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your willy
and scratch your bum.
Get in the shower.
Wash your face. Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse it off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Wee.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry off.
Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time.
Admire willy size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the "woo-woo" sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.
I KNOW YOU'RE LAUGHING NOW BECAUSE MOST OF IT IS TRUE! ! ! ! !
Not most of it but ALL of it is true :rotfl:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Perdita
:D
I love them all!
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.
'What's the matter, dear?' she whispers as she steps into the room, 'Why are you down here at this time of night?'
The husband looks up from his coffee, 'I am just remembering when we first met 20 years ago and started dating. You were only 16. Do you remember back then?' he asks solemnly. The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring, so sensitive. 'Yes, I do' she replies. The husband pauses. The words were not coming easily. 'Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?' 'Yes, I remember,' said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him. The husband continues. 'Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years?' 'I remember that, too' she replies softly.
He wipes another tear from his cheek and says... 'I would have gotten out today.'
my dad says something similar every year to my mum on their anniversary, he says "if I killed you, i'd be out by now"... they have been married 47 years nowQuote:
Originally Posted by Perdita
YOUR AGE BY EATING OUT
Don't tell me your age; you probably would tell a falsehood anyway-but your waiter may know YOUR AGE BY DINER & RESTAURANT MATH
This is pretty neat
DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST!
It takes less than a minute. Work this out as you read .
Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've worked it out!
This is not one of those waste of time things, it's fun.
1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to go out to eat.
(more than once but less than 10)
2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold)
3. Add 5
4. Multiply it by 50
5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1758...
If you haven't, add 1757.
6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.
7. You should have a three digit number
The first digit of this was your original number. ( i. e., How many times
you want to go out to restaurants in a week.)
The next two numbers are
YOUR AGE ! ------ (Oh YES, it is!)
THIS IS THE ONLY YEAR (2008) IT WILL EVER WORK, SO SPREAD IT AROUND WHILE IT LASTS
Sorry if you know some of them already.
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, 'Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?'
The other blonde turns and says 'Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????'
CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, 'What's the story?'
He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor'
She asks, 'How often do I have to do that?'
SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, 'I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!'
RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. 'Yoo-hoo!' she shouts, 'How can I get to the other side?'
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, 'You ARE on the other side.'
AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
'Impossible!' says the doctor. 'Show me.'
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then he pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, 'You're not really a redhead, are you?
'Well, no' she said, 'I'm actually a blonde.'
'I thought so,' the doctor said. 'Your finger is broken.'
KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, 'PULL OVER!'
'NO!' the blonde yelled back, 'IT'S A SCARF!'
BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, 'We were the first in space!'
The American said, 'We were the first on the moon!'
The Blonde said, 'So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!'
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. 'You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!' said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, 'We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!'
IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, 'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?'
She thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off?'
FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?'
'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' answered the blonde. 'They're watch dogs!'
New Words for 2008
* SWAMP-DONKEY
A deeply unattractive person.
* SALAD DODGER.
An excellent phrase for an overweight person.
* TESTICULATING.
Waving your arms around and talking b*ll*cks.
* BLAMESTORMING.
Sitting round in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
* SEAGULL MANAGER.
A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.
* ASSMOSIS.
The process by which people seem to absorb success and advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.
* SALMON DAY.
The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die.
* CUBE FARM.
An office filled with cubicles.
* PRAIRIE DOGGING.
When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on. (This also applies to applause for a promotion because there may be cake.)
* SITCOMs.
Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home
with the kids or start a "home business".
* SINBAD.
Single working girls. Single Income, No Boyfriend And Desperate.
* AEROPLANE BLONDE.
One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'.
* PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE.
The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
* ADMINISPHERE.
The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere" are often profoundly
inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve. This is often affiliated with the dreaded "administrivia" - needless paperwork and processes.
* GOING FOR A McSH*T.
Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food, You're just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staff member, your declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is known As a McSh*t with Lies.
* 404.
Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found" meaning that the requested document could not be located.
* AUSSIE KISS.
Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.
* OH - NO SECOND.
That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit 'reply all').
* GREYHOUND.
A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.
* JOHNNY-NO-STARS.
A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent who works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from the badges displaying stars that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to show their level of training.
* MILLENNIUM DOMES.
The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from the outside, but there's actually naught in there worth seeing.
* MONKEY BATH.
A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: "Oo! Oo! Oo! Aa! Aa! Aa!".
* MYSTERY BUS.
The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so
the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.
* MYSTERY TAXI.
The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in your
bed instead.
* BEER COAT.
The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise at 3:00am.
* BEER COMPASS.
The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after booze cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where you live, how you got here, and where you've come from.
* BREAKING THE SEAL.
Your first pee in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking. After Breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be
required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the Night.
* TART FUEL.
Bottled premixed spirits, regularly consumed by young women.
* PICASSO BUM.
A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's Got 4 buttocks.
Omg that actually worked for me :lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by Perdita
Er yeah, spooky, it worked for me too!!Quote:
Originally Posted by StarsOfCCTVOmg that actually worked for me :lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by Perdita
The age one worked for me how spooky is that:
I heard a terrible joke at work yesterday had to share it with you. One of the guys got a text: Do you want to buy a 42 inch telly for £50 only thing missing is the remote control but for that price you can't turn it down "GROAN" :lol:
Me too :eek: How many times did you pick to eat out?Quote:
Originally Posted by moonstormEr yeah, spooky, it worked for me too!!Quote:
Originally Posted by StarsOfCCTVOmg that actually worked for me :lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by Perdita
it worked for me too! these things are always spooky!Quote:
Originally Posted by AbbieMe too :eek: How many times did you pick to eat out?Quote:
Originally Posted by moonstormEr yeah, spooky, it worked for me too!!Quote:
Originally Posted by StarsOfCCTVOmg that actually worked for me :lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by Perdita
Love the New words for 2008. Brilliant! :lol:
Your age by eating out....
That worked for me too....
Age by eating out didn't work for me.
You sure you did not make a mistake? Seems to have worked for a lot of others...... :hmm:Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruffed_lemur
Yes, I did make a mistake. Did it again and it worked. Doh!Quote:
Originally Posted by PerditaYou sure you did not make a mistake? Seems to have worked for a lot of others...... :hmm:Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruffed_lemur
Children at a blind school set off on their annual day trip to the coast, and pulled into a motorway service station for lunch. So that the children could stretch their legs while their lunch orders were being taken, one of the teachers took out a special ball with a bell in it and suggested they had a game of football on a nearby strip of grass. The teachers started the game off, then went to collect the food.
While the teachers were waiting at the restaurant, the coach driver came running in. 'Quick!' he yelled. 'Your kids are kicking the s**t out of a group of morris dancers!