I hate christmas.
ffs.
Its one of these "life just takes the piss sometimes " moods.
feeel so down.
nothing is going rigth anymore.
even my ********** music wont play without jamming!
I am going to smash something in A MINUTE!!
:wall:
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I hate christmas.
ffs.
Its one of these "life just takes the piss sometimes " moods.
feeel so down.
nothing is going rigth anymore.
even my ********** music wont play without jamming!
I am going to smash something in A MINUTE!!
:wall:
Take a deep breath.
If you can lie down for 10 minutes and close you eyes, just concentrate on your breathing and nothing else - empty your mind of all thoughts.
Christmas is a bad time for a lot of people, the hype is such that you feel that everyone is have a spectacularly wonderful time, except you.
Believe me they are not.
I hope that you feel better soon, be happy to feel better, don't expect miracles, just small improvements.
Take care
x
I'm really sorry to hear of the people who are suffering from depression. There are times when you just want to stay in your bed all day, with your head under the covers and your door shut. I've been there and I know it's not pleasant.
But please if you feel like this, seek some help. Even if it's just a call to the Samaritans, having somebody listen to you will do you the world of good. It'll take a massive weight off your shoulders and sometimes, it's good when you can talk to a stranger as they won't be judgemental and will stay neutral to what you tell them.
If you aren't feeling happy, then take action and change it. We only live once and life is too short. Because you can all get better, feel happier and fight this terrible condition off.
Meds started to work in the last 7-10 days, around the time of losing a friend. Not quite sure how that worked out, whether the meds just took five weeks to work for me or if shedding the stress was what I needed. I wouldn't say I'm 100% happier but things are a lot brighter.
I've found a new over the counter sleep aid called Sominex which works far better than Nytol or Kalms. One tablet and I slept right through, no dreams and no drowsiness the next day.
The meds make me sleepy in the afternoon and wide awake in the early hours. I've been trying to move the time I take them from morning to afternoon but I find myself needing them. Haven't figured out if that's a psychological thing where I'm scared not to take them or if my body needs them.
I second what Dave, Trinity, Perdita and everyone else has said here: go see a doctor. There's so much that can be done and mental illness shouldn't carry the social stigma that it does. One in three people have experienced a depressive episode at some point during their life, approximately twenty million people in England alone. Mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of, most of the time it is idiopathic (i.e. no specific cause such as bereavement, trauma or bullying) and it's NOT your fault.
The first time you go it is hard to convey how you feel and make the doctor understand, I don't deny that. It does get easier though. It's worth it in the long run to get things sorted as soon as you realise you have a problem. I waited seven years to see a doctor and regret not going sooner. I wasted my teenage years when I should have been out with friends having fun, and my first year of uni.
Hope they continue working, good luck. Sometimes stress relief can help. My friend swears by sominex too! I've never taken it, seems to be good stuff though!
As others have said, do get help. You shouldn't have to suffer for ages when something can be done.
I hate Christmas. I hate the snow. I hate feeling lonely this time of year, seeing couples walking around town just makes me feel sick. Gosh I feel like a scrooge.
I'm quite worried, last night at the pub my "friend" (if you can call him that for what he did) took my phone and read my text messages, when I took it off him, when I finally realised, he was reading a text that I had sent to a friend about the way I was feelign recently and I'm just scared of what he may have found out. :(
I've been there. The best thing you can do is talk to him, hopefully you're quite close to him? I found him reading my blog (which is about depression), which was quite unsettling, but later text him to say I wish you hadn't done that. Thankfully I trust him a lot, so I knew he wouldn't tell anyone; do you trust this friend? As it's in quotation marks, is he not really a friend?Quote:
Originally Posted by Little Donkey
Personally, I'd hope he wouldn't tell no matter how good a friend he is- I see it as something that no-one would really be interested in and therefore not make good gossip. That's just me however! Hope nothing too bad happens!
I say "friend" because a friend shouldn't take your phone and read through your text messages, I just find it really rude.
We are kind of close, you can talk about whatever with him... but this whole "being down" situation has been sniffed out by a few of my friends, and him being one of them... but thing is, they see it as a big joke, and always make really horrible jokes about me being suicidal/hurting myself. I'm kind of in 2 minds whether or not I should say anyting to him.
Your friends don't sound very mature or helpful if they're joking around about it. Perhaps you should say something sarcastically and hope they get it then leave off?Quote:
Originally Posted by Little Donkey
Grr. I'm annoyed at myself. Haven't been getting up until 1pm this week so I've been about six hours late with my meds. Today I feel awful and restless. The lack of daylight and vitamin D probably doesn't help either.
I was doing so well and now I've ballsed it up. Idiot.
At least you acknowledge that you took your meds at the wrong time because you had a lie-in. Can you get back on track quickly by getting up just to take your meds and then going back to bed? Hope you feel better soon. xx
I do need to get up earlier than 1pm anyway. I'm wasting half the day. Going to bed an hour earlier would mean I get up about 10am. As my mum would say, I'm all to pot with it.
Good luck with getting back into the swing of it, but don't blame yourself too much- we all deserve holidays (and I'm not sure if it impacts *that* much about taking them at the same time... I don't think there's a problem with half lives like there is with some!
I think I might have depression but I want to feel good throughout 2010. I'm such a wreck right at this moment. I've just wanted to chat to somebody about it. I hate admitting it and I won't be going to a doctor.
If you ever wanna chat ya can chat to me on msn and i am sure plenty of other people will be happy to talk to you from here aswell. You aren't aloneQuote:
Originally Posted by DaVeyWaVey
Oh Davey, I'm sorry to hear this. I'm around and will be on and off all night if you want to PM me. I know the feeling of wanting a year to be good, hopefully it will pick up- if you can nip it in the bud sooner rather than later that'll most definitely help you.
I am also happy to provide a listening ear :)
Thanks for the offers of listening.
I've spoken to my mum about how i've been feeling and she said she hopes I don't go down the same route that my nan and auntie have gone down - they have both been diagnosed with depression in the past and have been on anti depressants before.
Yeah we are all here for you Davey, whenever you want a chat, just PM or FB.. and I'll be there to listen to you.
Did they have a bad experience with them? I'm not advocating this but you could always not tell your parents (what I've done). Have you tried counselling or anything? If you visit the doctor you may be surprised- they may have something else you could try; I've heard that sometimes they try and put you on anti depressants straight off, but I've never had that experience, they've always sent me to speak to someone before they tried meds.Quote:
Originally Posted by DaVeyWaVey
Whatever you do, good luck and I'm here if need be.
It depends on your age, how long you've had depression and how bad it is as to what course of treatment is recommended. The Department of Health guidelines don't allow under 18's to be prescribed anti-depressants without trying counselling first and even then unless it is absolutely necessary.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tori
If its something new (i.e. you haven't had depression before and it's developed over a few months) and isn't severe (google PRQ9 form) they usually go for counselling first. You don't have to have counselling, you can opt for medication. For long term depression medication is usually offered along with counselling.
I'm supposed to be having counselling as well but I'm resisting at the moment. I know I should go, it's free and there's no waiting list but I find it oppressive. I've had counselling before and it did more harm than good.
I'm having lots of dreams at the moment and acting them out. It's back to literally jumping out of bed because there's spiders crawling all over me (like last night) or stroking the imaginary cat on the bed whilst in a lucid trance like state. And I'm dreaming about the same two people every night. Separate dreams and different dreams each time but the same two people for the last week. I find them comforting though so I don't want them to stop. Just the cat and the spider ones need to stop before I start sleepwalking again :p I'm not stressed so I don't know what's causing it.
My nan and auntie were put on them and then they were slowly taken off the pills when they were feeling better, but my mum said they were on them for a while..it just makes me wonder if it runs in the family or something? because i don't understand why i'm feeling like this. I haven't been to the doctors at all and I've not tried counselling. There really isn't much to say, I don't think. If i ever went to the doctors, I don't think I'd tell my parents. I hate keeping secrets, but it would only worry them.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tori
Re: counselling; every counsellor is different- not saying you have to go but remember that- I've had some awful ones and some brilliant ones too.Quote:
Originally Posted by Abigail
About the dreams, it may be citalopram causing them; I think it's in the side effects. If they're a problem I'd ask to change, but I suspect it's the meds more than anything else.
I think currently there is research being done about whether it is genetic, I know for bipolar there has been some research to prove this.Quote:
Originally Posted by DaVeyWaVey
Good luck with whatever you decide
If it helps Davey, I'll tell you my situation.Quote:
Originally Posted by DaVeyWaVey
My mum has depression, one of my sisters does. My mum have three brothers and four sisters. Two of her sisters have attempted suicide multiple times (one severe clinical depression, the other post natal), the other two sisters have had depression in the past. One of her brothers has depression. Out of nine kids (one is dead so eight really) six have mental health problems. My nana (mum's mum) is just a complete psycho. I haven't seen her for three years; she has delusions, manic phases, phases of extreme nastiness, she says things then a few minutes later denies she said it. She has a serious mental illness (my guess is schizophrenia) but refuses to let the doctor examine her. She chased the doctor out of the house with a carving knife. I have about 30 cousins so I don't know all the details but one family, children of the severe clinical depression and attempted suicide, one daughter has depression and self harms, the other has an eating disorder.
I believe that something makes people predisposed to depression. Some families are relatively mental illness free whereas others suffer quite badly. You can treat mental illness and recover from it but it can't be cured. Some people may disagree with me but I'm speaking from experience; I've on my fifth bout in seven years. There's not many roads I haven't gone down but I can tell you that medication has helped me enormously. There comes a point where you can't take it any more and you have two options. I made the right choice this time but five years ago I didn't.
If you do want someone to talk to away from SB and your friends, your university should have a counsellor. It's free and you don't need a referral from the doctor. If you ever find yourself in a really dark spot one day and you don't have anyone to talk to, go see them or ring Samaritans. The Samaritans are brilliant, they don't force you to talk about what's you your mind until you're ready. You can talk about the weather if you like.
I feel so conflicted and insecure right now :hmm: I'm dreaming about one person constantly, every dream I have every night he's there. I think I should go see him but that would open an emotional can of worms. I have nobody else though and he hasn't replied to any of my emails over the past year. Sure he's busy and he might have changed his email address but perhaps I shouldn't go. I'm not his concern any more. On the other hand, he's still the only person who knows what I'm thinking without me saying it and who knows me better than anyone.
The second confliction is one that I still haven't told my doctor about. I know I really need to because I need to stop but I don't want to admit it. I don't particularly like lying to him but its so engrained I can't help it.
Oh what to do.
I'm feeling okay at the moment.
Snow has made me feel happy, it's just so beautiful to look at:)
and my new iPod has let me get so distracted that I have been distracted from my problems, and I haven't let myself have time to think about it.
only problem is my sleeping, I'm doing so much during the day to keep my mind busy that I'm exhausted when I go to bed but I'm not sleeping. And when I do, i keep getting these really wierd dreams that are freaking me out, and i can't even remember what they're about, which scares me even more. My mum woke me up one night because I was screaming really loudly in my sleep.
and also, one of my friend's (a guy, who i am really close to) has started claiming he has an eatign disorder. At first he started to make fun of me, by at lunch sayign "Oh, i'm not eating because I ate at lunch, i ate it in some lesson none of you are in" or rifling through my bag and demanding i eat my lunch so loudly the whole table hears and gets involved.
Now he's not eating and boasting about it going "omg i weighed myself AGAIN last night for the 4th time adn i dropped a pound. But then I had an apple and felt sooo fat." or "no, i'm not eating, I don't want to, you can't make me, that's what Georgie always says"
its making me feel realy upset because he's poking fun at me and we were really good friends (at one point, I nearly asked him out) and he's one of my closest frineds and he knows everythign about me, but he's met this new girl and this has all happened since he's started going out with her. She doesn't like me, and makes fun of me too.
But i feel like he's going to tell my secrets to everyone.
It makes me feel really horiible with him taking the mickey out of me, especially as I was slowly starting to come around out of it. But now, his comments are hurting me adn I can see that slowly I'm sinking back in, which will just give him (and his girlfriend) more ammunition...
Don't let this so-called friend drag you down again, you have come so far. I would avoid him and his girlfriend, they are not friends if they are making fun of you. You are worth better than that :)
thank you, I'll try. It's hard though because I've known him for years and his mum and my mum are friend's too. he also texts me and speaks to me on fb and msn all the time, then when i tired to speak to him about it, he turned it round making me feel like it was my fault
Can you just be polite to him on fb and msn but not have much to do with him otherwise? The less you have to do with him, the less he can turn things round to make you look bad
Oh my god, mylife is spiralling out of control. I don't know what I'm feeling and I've been such a cow. I can't see through this jumble of darkness and it's scaring me. I just dumped my bf on his 16th and I font even know why. I suddenly felt so scared and wanted to cry. I don't want to hurt him because he is the most genuine nicest guy I've ever met but now I know he's going to hate me and I don't know what to do! Everything seems to much and I just want it all to stop. I want to cry and I need someone to talk too but I don't have anyone. I just want to get away from everything, from me and my life
Sweetheart, have you got anybody with you? YOu need to talk to somebody, either on the phone or in person. If there is nobody around call Samaritans, google their phone number. pm me, I will listen to you
Things can be worked out, believe me, I am sure we can help you :)
What happened?
Freckles you need to talk to someone to get some support. Is there not a young peoples counciling service available at your school. or doctors surgery.
I really do recommend Samaritans if you have nobody around to talk to. Their contact details are at the top of every page. You can phone, email, write or drop into one of their centres. You don't have to give your name or location, you don't even have to speak about what's bothering you if you don't want to. If you want to talk about the weather, that's fine. There's no requirement or expectations to talk about anything and you can hang up at any time.
Please talk to somebody, whether its on here, a friend or a Sam.
Thank you guys, I'm feeling better now.
Spoke with my sister, she's in Uni in Plymouth at the moment, but I rang her up and we had a long chat. Nice to hear her voice adn she helped me.
And friends are keeping my spirits up now, keeping focused on the future, and trying to be positive.
thats good to hear its good to talk to anyone sometimesQuote:
Originally Posted by freckleface
Not been too bad lately. Been going out a lot. Keep doing this test and it says I have moderate depression. It's just an online test though. I keep a blog now. I'd post it on here but I don't want to be all 'me me me' and the centre of attention all the time.
I realise I am lucky in life. I know I am. I just don't seem to have any hobbies anymore. I can't concentrate when I read. My mind wanders and I'm just aimlessly thinking about nothing. I try and write but I can't. I try and do something but it never lasts. I want my blog to last for a long time and this is something I'm aiming for - to write a blog every day. It's funny though. Everyone thinks I'm fine. I just do funny things to not show it. I used to post lots on this forum too, but lost motivation to do that too.
Have you done a PHQ-9 Test, Davey? That's the one doctors use, and perhaps more representative than some online ones? I can't remember whether you didn't want to go to the docs or not, but it may be worth a try. Good luck with the blog, I'm surprised how long mine has lasted, it's probably the thing I've stuck to for the longest... ever! I know what you mean about people thinking you're fine, no-one ever believed/s me!