eastenders comedy

:rotfl: that was and sooooooooo sweet! :wub: kalfie babies! :cheer: please do more sooon!

Fab. Please do more asap:).

*Kat and Alfie go to visit their new arch-enemy, in a strange Batman and Robin kind of way*
BATMAN ALFIE: You forced my wife to sleep with you! You wh**e!
ANDY: ... If by 'forced', you mean 'gave her £7000', then, yeah, but-
BATMAN ALFIE: Well, the camera angles were rubbish!
ROBIN KAT: And so were you!
ANDY: Gasp! *eyes fill with tears* I didn't come here to be insulted! *goes to leave*
BATMAN AND ROBIN: ....
ANDY: No, wait, this is my house.
THE AUDIENCE: *shaking fist* You already used that joke once! No fair! I'll get you for this! I'll get you-
BATM- NO, JUST ALFIE: She loves me not you.
ANDY: Oh really? *strokes Kat's cheek in an eww gesture of ewwness*
ALFIE: MINE NOT YOURS!
ANDY: *to Kat* That's a nice ickle bruise you got there, darlin'.
ALFIE: STFU I would never hurt her UNLKE YOU.
*They square up to each other, BATMAN and THE JOKER - or is it THE PENGUIN? I don't know. I never saw it. What the hell am I on about, anyhoo?*
KAT: Ooh, I can practically smell the testosterone in the room.
ANDY: No, that's just my perfume-
ALFIE: ...
ANDY: I meant 'aftershave'. That's what I meant. Yes.
KAT: Look, you two, you're never gonna get anywhere by fighting, so why don't we all-
*BATMAN AND THE JOKER/PENGUIN/STFU suddenly turn into a cloud of dust, with occasional fists popping out, and comical 'argh!'s and 'ow!'s.*
KAT: ... Who says we're on a low budget?

:rotfl: fab! more soon please :D

Fab:). Please do more asap.

Tuesday 6th December EE

Normally this would contain words like "crazified" etc., but it isn't because that's not very nice. :nono:

STACEY: *rocks soooo much and it totally makes up for her being a chav and all*
MO: I think I'll interrupt here and disrupt this fragile situation, just when you've started to kind of get your mum back to normal! It's not like this could possibly make her worse or anything, although I already know she hates my guts! Yay!
STACEY: .... Geeeet oooout!
MO: Hmph.
STACEY'S MUM: *reminds me oddly of Gollum/Smeagol/Andy Serkis dude.*

FRANK: Sooo, Janine's a murderer! OMG I can't wait to see her she'll have changed so much!
*We do not actually see Janine.*
FRANK: Did she marry anyone?
PAT: Yeah, Barry. But he died on their honeymoon.
FRANK: Oh noes! She must be devastated!
PAT: OH, THE IRONY.

CHRISSIE: I want every damn fool in Walford to appear as witnesses because they'll make Den seem eeeeevil and baaaad, and then I might get off! Mwahahahahahaaaa!
LAWYER: Yeah, whatever.
CHRISSIE: And I want Sharon! AND HER LITTLE DOG, TOO!
LAWYER: ... I don't think she has a dog.
CHRISSIE: Did I ask you?

FRANK: Let's go back to my place.
THE AUDIENCE: Let's not.
FRANK: Please stay with me!
THE AUDIENCE: PLEASE DON'T.
*Pat eventually give's into Frank's... I was going to say "animal charm" but just typing that makes me feel all icky.*
Fortunately, we are spared the horrors of Frank and Pat getting it on (you realise I'm gonna have to wash my hands after typing this?). There is a God.

lol, fab! please do more soon! :cheer:

Lol, More soon please:).

Lol, thats great.

Lol, thats great, more asap :D