Haha,lol,that was really good,more soon please!!
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Haha,lol,that was really good,more soon please!!
i know i've said it before, but this is great :p
Friday 2nd December EE episode
ALFIE: Don't worry Nana, I'm sure we'll get to meet the Queen.
NANA: ... You're more deluded than I thought.
ALFIE: What was that?
NANA: Ooh dearie me, etc., etc., etc. You happy?
ALFIE: Awww, Nana's so old and feeble.
NANA: STFU.
NAOMI: Martin's about as interesting as a bowl of porridge.
THE AUDIENCE: *chortle* It's funny 'cause it's true.
SONIA: HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT?! *stomps away*
JULEY: Come on...
RUBY: No!
JULEY: Why not?
RUBY: ... Because doing it in a grotty pub toilet isn't really one of my life aims?
JULEY: You're weird.
NANA: Kat, I'm going to see the Queen, apparently.
KAT: ....
*Nana wanders out*
KAT: What the hell?
ALFIE: *wibbles* I wanted to make her happy...
KAT: Are you completely insane? ...Stupid question.
ALFIE: I can't help it... The sight of you made me all silly and excited -
KAT: Dude, ew.
NANA: Kat, Alfie's such a plonker.
KAT: Yeah, what's with that?
NANA: He thinks he's taking me to see the Queen. But I know he won't.
KAT: Old lady cunning yay! Nana, you're a devious old lady.
NANA: Why, thank you.
*But then they go to Madame Tussauds, and I've been there, yay!*
NANA: Yay! Alfie you're wonderful!
ALFIE: Oh it wasn't me, it was Kat. She's the wonderful one *worships her*
KAT: Stop undressing me with your eyes.
ALFIE: Sorry.
KAT: Well, I'm glad you got rid of that stubble, anyway. It was starting to breathe for itself.
NANA: Who's for drawing a moustache on the Queen?
KAT: Me!
ALFIE: Me!
KAT'S RANDOM FRIEND, WHO WE HAVE NEVER SEEN BEFORE: So, I'm gonna say something now that explains how you managed to get Madame Tussauds to yourself.
KAT: Okay! That should wrap it up nicely.
They should really have gone in that mega-scary part with all the serial killer people who are dressed like ancient mummies and jump out at you from the dark and breathe on you and I should never have let my mum take me in there, we were hanging onto each other in terror like ARGH *hyperventilates* But they didn't. Woe.
I would have done more about the Naomi/Sonia/Martin thang, but I prefer Kalfie, as you may have noticed. :D
lmao, fab script and i sorta did guess you liked kalfie :p please do some more soon! :cheer:
and i love your glow by the way :D and how come you didn't mention alfie's rather interesting shirt? :p
I was so shocked by it, my brain forced me to forget about it, otherwise I would have been traumatised for life :D Aha...Quote:
Originally Posted by feelingyellow
lmao, i wish i could forget it ... i might have nightmares forever :pQuote:
Originally Posted by crazy_purple
Back to the Kalfie thing... yay...
ANDY: Alfie, I've got a video here you may find... interesting. *wink wink*
ALFIE: Ooh!
ANDY: Here, I think you'll enjoy it...
ALFIE: Whooo! *takes the video*
ANDY: Tee hee. my evil plan is in motion!
*I can't quite decide why Alfie decided to accept a video from his worst enemy, who only a week ago was threatening to smoosh him into little pieces. You'd think he'd at least be a tiny bit suspicious. I conclude that he is either: Very stupid, or very pervy. Ew.*
ALFIE: *settles down to watch his video - which, may I add, is the original Tape of Doom and Exposition?* Hmm, that looks strangely like my wife and my worst enemy... Hey, why's she leaning there? Does he have something in his eye? Well, she always was very kind to people in need - hey! She's kissing him! OMG! Oh, maybe they're practising for a play.
*A few minutes later*
ALFIE: Now they've obviously tripped and fallen into bed together. Oh dear. She's so clumsy - WAIT A SECOND! *mouth falls open* SHE'S ONLY 'SPOSED TO DO THAT TO ME! *cries*
----
more tomorrow :)
lmao that was fab :rotfl: can't wait for the next part :cheer:
Fab, more soon please:)
*Kat comes in*
KAT: *sees the kind of video her husband is watching, oh dear* Alfie! I never realised you were the sort!
ALFIE: *cries*
THE AUDIENCE: *just want to hug him, awww*
KAT: *notices his expression* Blimey, cheer up. You never get this emotional when we're- *looks at the video more closely...* .... Oh, f**k.
ALFIE: EXACTLY! *storms off*
KAT: *stares at the TV* Does it really look like that?
KAT: You don't understand! He tricked me!
ALFIE: Oh, did he dress up as me and put a mask on or something?
KAT: No! It was an accident!
ALFIE: What, did he trip you up and your legs just happened to o-
KAT: *cries* Noooo....
ALFIE: Kat, those are the worst excuses ever! You're nothing but a drunken sl*t who can't keep her knickers on!
KAT: *slappity slaps him, yay - no, wait, not yay, not yay at all!*
ALFIE: *whacks her one straight back*
THE AUDIENCE: Gasp!
KAT: OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ACTUALLY HIT ME!
ALFIE: ....But you hit me first...
KAT: BOYS AREN'T 'SPOSED TO HIT GIRRRRLS!
ALFIE: You're such a hypocrite!
KAT: Yeah? Well, you're MEAN!
KAT: He blackmailed me - he was gonna kill you unless I slept with him and I kept slapping him but he didn't quite get the message and then-
ALFIE: Wait, what?
KAT: He would have killed you! And i couldn't have let him do that because I love you and without you, there'd never be any adorable Kalfie babies! There wouldn't even be a Kalfie! There'd just be a Kat, and she's no good at all! *cries*
ALFIE: *eyeroll* There, there. It's alright. I- no! What am I doing! I HATE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW!
KAT: YOU'D BE DEAD IF IT WASN'T FOR ME! I DID YOU A FAVOUR!
ALFIE: I'M SURE YOU DID!
KAT; CAN WE STOP IT WITH THE CAPITAL LETTERS NOW?
ALFIE: *grudgingly* Oh, alright then.
KAT: I gave myself up for you, Alfie. I gave myself to that w***er, just to save your sorry skin.
ALFIE: *mumbles angrily*
KAT: What?
ALFIE: He touched you, he shouldn't have touched you, you're MINE! ALL MINE!
KAT: ... Ooookay.
ALFIE: *blinks* I.. didn't just say that out loud, did I?
KAT: ...Nope.
ALFIE: Okay - but I can't believe you'd do a thing like that! You should have talked to me first!
KAT: Oh, I'm sure you would have agreed to it, wouldn't you?
ALFIE: There was nothing to agree with!
KAT: But you'd be dead right now if I hadn't-
ALFIE: I don't care! I'd rather die than let you get abused like that!
KAT: *misting up* Awwwwwwwwww, sweetheart...
ALFIE: Hmph.
KAT: ... You're not gonna leave me, are you?
ALFIE: Sigh. No... The world's nothing without Kalfie.
KAT: Yay!
*They hug*