You should carry on this is fantastic!!!!
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You should carry on this is fantastic!!!!
this week im going to try and right a few episodes so as i dont have to rush the output...i cant wait to right the arson epsiode! tanya and richard should learn that criag is not a man to be messed with!
sounds good
Sounds excellent cant wait great banner
does anyone mind if i reduce the length of each episode
becuase
1) the other soaps are shorter than mine
2) i might get more feedback and posters reading it
3) storylines can develop faster and you all get to read more
let me know what ya think??? :confused:
it does'nt bother me go for it
DEVON SEAS
LIFE IN DEVON IS ANYTHING BUT PEACEFUL
EPISODE 2:
Aftermath
Written By Bryan Turner
Scene 1 - Craig's House - Day
Craig's is sitting at the breakfast table reading a the newspaper, the headline says "Robbers Beat Drug Squad". Craig's phone rings.
Craig: (into phone) Hello Harvey... oh its you Nigel... how did it go?... good that's what i like to hear... and Ed hasnt done no funny buisness?.... right then make sure he keeps his head down at the safehouse... good... bye.
Craig puts down the phone. Mandy who is doing the washing up knows something is up.
Mandy: Who was that?
Craig: Someone...
Mandy: We're you on about what i think you were...
Craig: Rule one, you stick to your buisness, and I'll stick to mine, keep your snout out and do some housework...
Mandy: Dont speak to me like that! I might be your wife but you have no right to speak to me like that...
Craig: Is that a fact?
Mandy: Yes it is, you've promised me that your not the man everyone says you are...but i have my suscpions...
Craig: I wear the trousers in this family Mandy, you do as i say, and i said to shut the hell up! Now im off to work... if that's ok with you!
Mandy dosent answer, Craig storms out of the house and slams the door shut. Margaret peeps her head around the kitchen door.
Margaret: Marital bliss? .... i think not....
Scene 2 - Jenkins Manor - Day
The tv is on but Richard isnt paying any attention
Newsreader: In other news the police have been left shocked after a warehouse filled with illegal drugs was raided last night. The warehouse in the docklands of Exeter was to be raided at dawn by the police following weeks of undercover investigating. The cocaine, with a street value of over a million pounds is now…
Richard turns off the tv, he stares at a picture of Ed.
TANYA: Did you manage to get any sleep dad?
RICHARD: No, I’ve had too much on my mind…
TANYA: I know that, but you need to sleep, there’s no good becoming ill aswell…
RICHARD: Look Tanya if I need your opinions I’ll ask for them! I need some space at the moment…time to think…
TANYA: Time to think about what? He’s gone now dad…there’s no good thinking of the “what ifs”, it’s your fault he’s gone…
RICHARD: He was going to go anyway…
TANYA: Yeah well you didn’t exactly stop him did you? God knows what’s going trough his mind at the moment!
RICHARD: Tanya! Please just get out of my face!
TANYA: Watch what you say dad, you've already lost one child this week, be careful you dont loose another!
Scene 3 - The Red Rum Public House - Day
Patrick is on the downstairs phone, looking shifty and checking that Amy isnt coming downstairs.
Patrick: (into phone) ...christ it's so annoying knowing your just down the road and that i have to sleep with that dinosaur every night instead of you.... (laughs ) yes she is that bad... nora batties had more sex appeal than amy in a skimpy nightie... look can we meet up later for lunch...im starving, and not for ham cobs... (laughs)... great, I'll meet you there then...
Amy: (O.S) Patrick!
Patrick: (into phone) look i'd better go babe... the dragon's calling me... bye sexy...
Amy: Patrick!
Patrick: (Sarcastic) What darling???
Patrick runs up the staircase...
Amy: Who was that on the phone?
Patrick: Oh just the brewery tryna fob me off with some foreighn plonk...well...what do you want?
Amy: We need to talk...
Patrick: What about? The weather? The price of petrol? Whether Jordans hadnt another boob job? Common I've gotta open the bar...
Amy: About us i think we need a serious talk...dont you?
Scene 4 - Andrews' House - Day
The morning after the night before: Jame's mom is dead. James is sitting in the living room, family albumn open, she is crying. Val walks in...
Val: Hey you coulda woke me...
James: Oh i never went to sleep at all...
Val: Babes.... cheer up eh? There's no need looking dull is there?
James: Valery my mother has just died, im not going to be singing and dancing the streets now am i?
Val: I didnt except a chorus of "life's a cabaret" im just saying... no point going into a deep depression...we need to put a strong front up for the girls...they've lost their nan they're bound to be distraught...
James: ...how are they?
Val: Not too good, it's hit Em bad, they were really close...
James: Tell me about it, well...you'll have to look after the girls..ive got too much to plan...the cremation, the wake...
Val sits down next to James
Val: Look you ent gotta do all this on your own, im here for yoiu...we'll do it together ok?
val hugs James.
Scene 5 - Craig's House - Day
Margaret is sitting down at the kitchen table, half busy with the crossword in Take a Break. Mandy is cleaning the kitchen.
Margaret: So then you gonna tell me what that little barny was about?
Mandy: I dont wanna talk about it mom..
Margaret: Well tough your gonna have to...
Mandy: Its Craig...
Margaret: I kinda gathered that... common take a seat...
Mandy sits down and pours herself some tea.
Mandy: All these years people have said "he's a baden", "he's a criminal, a gangster", "he's no good for you", and I've always just ignored them, becuase he promised me that they were all lying...
Margaret: So what, you're married to Ronny Krey and your in denial, thinking he's the best thing since the chippendales... i've told you from the start that he's a baden...
Mandy: Yes well i think for once you might be right...
Margaret: Why whats he done? Had a punchup with al capone?
Mandy: No seriously mom... you know that drugs robbery, im pretty sure Craig, or his men are behind it...
Margaret: Have you told anyone about this?
Mandy: Are you mad he'd kill me! And you'd better not tell no-one either!
Margaret: Would i do such a thing... (smirks)
episode 2 concludes later on tonight! :p
wow fantastic you are a great writer bb cant wait for the next part
its really good! :thumbsup: well done your a great writer! :clap: cant wait for the next part its got me hooked! :)
Scene 6 – The Red Rum Flat - Day
Amy is sitting down, Patrick is standing up, ready to leave the room.
Patrick: Common then, get on with it…
Amy: Sit down Patrick, I cant talk to you when your all agitated like this
Patrick hastily sits down.
Amy: Right, well I’m sure I’m not the only one to say… our marriage hasn’t been going smoothly for a long time…
Patrick: What’s all this about?
Amy: Hear me out, I mean I know we’ve had our highs and lows, mainly lows… thanks to you and your affairs… but I don’t hold it against you, we’ve stuck together over everything and well I know we have something special…
Patrick: Of course we have, you’re my wife… and I love you…
Amy: Yeah well it doesn’t seem that way at times, your so distant from me… it’s like our marriage has gone dull and well we need something new…
Patrick: Like what?
Amy: Well I was thinking…and I’ve come up with a brilliant idea, it’s what I’ve always wanted?
Patrick: A waterbed?
Amy: No, a baby!
Amy is delighted, but Patrick clearly isn’t.
Scene 7 – Jenkins Manor – Day
Tanya is sitting in the kitchen putting on her make-up, Nick is eating some toast.
Tanya: You’d think he’d learn to calm down a bit wouldn’t you… but no he’s as arrogant as ever…
Nick: Is it any wonder? Ed ruined his big night…he didn’t want anything to go wrong, and Ed humiliated him in front of everyone dad knows, a major no no
Tanya: Stop siding with him! You should know he’s in the wrong…
Nick: I do but…
Tanya: I know what it is, once again its this divide…
Nick: Christ Tan, you still got that going around in your head…
Tanya: Just because me and Ed are your half brother and sister you side with dad to get brownie points.
Nick: Shut up! Your talking rubbish Tanya! I’ve had enough of the pair of you this morning, I’m going to go and have my breakfast in piece!
Richard walks into the kitchen
Richard: Oh upset someone else have you?
Tanya: It appears so! But someone’s gotta look out for Ed otherwise this family will just forget he exists!
Richard: You say that like it’s a bad thing!
Tanya: I really cant work you out sometimes dad honestly! I’m going out!
Richard: Why?
Tanya: Because I actually care for my brother and want to know what’s happened to him!
Scene 8 – Val’s Hairdressers - Day
Val is cutting Annie’s hair, another hairdresser is cutting Josies’s.
Annie: Poor Belinda…was it sudden?
Val: Yeah it came as a right shock, I mean she’d always been fit as a fiddle, then her ticker just runs out of battery, and bobs ya uncle she’s stiff on the floor.
Annie & Josie: orrrrrr
Josie: Hows James?
Val: He don’t know if he’s coming or going poor sod, I’ve told him to get a grip but honestly, daft sod, I mean personally I couldn’t stand the woman….
Annie: Val!
Val: Well I don’t mean to speak ill of the dead but she was a bloomin’ nightmare! Absolute control freak, wouldn’t let James go till he was 35! Deranged old…
Tanya walks in a rush…
Tanya: Alright ladies
Josie and Annie mutter their hellos.
Val: Oh look who it is, what time dya call this? Work starts at 9 on the dot, not 25 minutes later!
Tanya: I’m sorry Val I had something busy on…what with Ed and all… infact dyou mind if I pop out for a minute…I need to speak to someone
Val: You’re taking the proverbial pi…..
Tanya: Just five minutes Val!
Val: Oh go on then!
Tanya leaves, and in walks Margaret.
Val: Anyways enough of Belinda, what about that party up the manor last night! Oh my god that was a right bit of entertainment: family feuds, parental disownage, it was like and episode of Dallas!
Josie: Poor Edward!
Val: Poor Richard! Fancy having a son like that… in fact I wouldn’t be surprised if he had something to do with that robbery that’s all over the news…
Margaret rushes into the hairdressers
Margaret: You never guess what girls! I’ve gone some juicy old gossip…
Val, Annie and Josie all turn around eagerly like vultures.
Scene 9 – The Red Rum Flat – Day
Amy: Well then? What dya think?
Patrick: A baby?
Amy: Oh it would be just so perfect Patrick! A little baby to love and look after…it would make us even stronger!
Patrick: We’d make awful parents!
Amy: Speak for yourself!
Patrick: I can hardly look after a bar, never long a baby. No Amy I’m afraid the answer is no.
Amy: Don’t be so selfish Patrick!
Patrick: Selfish?
Amy: I’m not prepared to see our marriage go down the drain, and as far as I can see it’s a baby or the end…
Patrick: We are not having a baby!
Amy: Yes we are! If I say I want one then I’ll blooming well have one Patrick!
Patrick: No you are not! And that’s final! I’m going out!
Amy: Where?
Patrick: Far away from you! You can run the bar yourself today!
Patrick slams the door shut. Amy screams, and throws a teapot against the wall.
Scene 10 – Harvey’s Motors - Day
Tanya walks into Harvey’s motors, Chris is working on a motor and Craig is sitting at the desk doing some paperwork. Chris wolf whistles at Tanya.
Chris: Well hello there Tanya…
Craig: Chris, hop it for a bit…
Chris: But I’ve got to…
Craig: Hop it!
Chris walks off. Tanya nervously advances towards Craig.
Craig: Well what brings little miss spoilt brat around here, need ya merc fixing?
Tanya: It’s about Ed…
Craig: Oh I don’t wanna hear it Tanya! I told you last night Tanya I don’t wanna see or hear from him ever again…
Tanya: Yeah well you said a lot last night didn’t you?
Craig: And?
Tanya: look is he safe? That’s all I’m worried about…
Craig: As far as I know
Tanya: As far as you know!?
Craig: Look he did the job, and he’s lying low. I’ve got no grief with him no more, as long as he stays away I don’t care what he does… so does that answer your question?
Tanya: Where is he? Do you know?
Craig: If I told you, you’d have him back in Baymoore faster than a hooker to a street corner, so no, I don’t think I’ll be telling you that…
Tanya attempts to talk but Craig interrupts
Craig: Now clear out of my way, and don’t come hassling me again.
Scene 11 – Greasy Gary’s – Day
Gary is cooking breakfasts, Nick is standing behind the counter talking to him.
Nick: If I’d stayed there a moment longer my head would have just exploded, if it isn’t him snapping everyone’s head off it’s Tan complaining about the injustice Ed has had to go trough
Gary: Don’t worry mate your not the only one, I’ve had it all night with her, that’s the only fault of Tanya’s, when she’s got a point shell keep on making it till it drives you insane, if only I knew that before I married her…
The pair laugh, the camera pans over to Margaret, Annie and Josie drinking tea and gossiping.
Margaret: And then she’s telling me that she believes me after all…
Josie: I’ve always known he was a baden, but I didn’t think he’d be behind that…
Annie: Nothing would surprise me with Craig Harvey, he’s scum he is…
Josie: Dya really recon that Richard’s youngest was involved…?
Margaret: Well put it this way he’s had dealings with Craig in the past, he leaves Baymoore in the middle of the night and next morning all this is in the news… he’s as guilty as Sudam Hussein…
Annie and Josie mutter agreement.
Scene 12 – Craig’s House - Night
Craig, Mandy and Margaret are sitting around the dinner table, eating their tea, awkward looks are being dished around. Craig’s phone rings, Nigel is calling. Margaret tuts. Craig gets up and walks into the hallway.
Craig: Yes Nigel what is it? ….you what! You’ve got to be joking me!
Craig is furious
Scene 13 – Jenkins Manor – Night
Tanya walks in after a hard day at work. She goes over to the housephone, and checks that no one is around. She dials a number. It’s aswerphone.
Tanya: (into phone) Hi Ed, it’s Tanya…where are you? Are you okay?.... look I know you were in trouble with Craig but he says it’s okay now… please Ed get in touch to let me know your safe…call me…
Tanya puts down the phone, and runs her hand trough her hair in stress. She turns to head towards the living room and Richard is standing there.
Tanya: (scared) Christ dad! You scared the hell out of me!
Richard: Shouldn’t be making sneaky phone calls then you should?
Tanya: Look…
Richard: What an earth was that? Trouble with Craig?
Tanya: Oh you’re actually concerned about him now!
Richard: Just tell me Tanya!
The doorbell rings, Richard goes to answer the door. Two policemen are standing there.
Richard: Yes! Can I help you!
PO: Mr Taylor, I’m afraid there have been some developments in your son’s disappearance sir….
A shocked look on Richard and Tanya’s face.
End of show.
:eek: is he ok or is it just about the robbings! :eek: oh my god post more soon asap! lol its really good and really interesting. keep up the good work! :thumbsup:
its far worser than robbings, and if craig finds him hes a dead man!Quote:
Originally Posted by xXxJessxXx
BB thats amazing, you are so talented its unreal.
BB " like an episode of Dallas " blooming terrific LOL You have me thinking I am actually sitting there witnessing all these characters having a chat.. :cheer: I think Val reminds me of Dot and Pauline,, two of the biggest CURTAIN TWITCHERS,, LOL
I know if I wanted to pick up the local gossip,, I would go to the beauty shop and listen to Val rake all the towns folk over coals .
Well done and keep up the good work:thumbsup:
val..im loving writing her lines...shes so crude its untrue...you can imagine in her in her tarty clothes, big gob and loving the gossip...
you should reall consider sending this to the bbc or itv you have a gift. i just hope i turn out as good as you :cheer:
aww thanks bb fan, nice to know i have support.... sending it to the bbc is in the pipeline but they wont except work from a 16 year old, so ill wait a few years, get loads of episodes out and then see what path to follow :)Quote:
Originally Posted by big bro fan
i still say you should send it in even though you are only 16 show them what you can do,........you never know they could be reading this right now......
Luna is right you are just fantastic i have read most of your scripts and there all brill when ever your old enough send these off who knows we could turn on bbc 1 in ten years time watching devon sea's cant wait for the next part
absolutley brilliant bb. :)
sorry for not posting recently ive had a lot on with college deadlines etc
what im going to do is reduce the size of each episode, and post one each day (hopefully) from the new year onwards
hope you'll all still read
:cheer: glad to hear :D
think im gonna have to re-read to see where i was up to! :rotfl:Quote:
Originally Posted by Luna
can't wait to read it again i was beggining to wonder what happned to Devon Seas i'm considering writing my own soap again but i don't know anyway please post soon :thumbsup:
excellent the originals are coming back baby good luck
*Keither Sutherland Style Voice Over :rotfl: * Previosuly On Devon Seas...
Edward Taylor was in trouble with local crime boss Craig Harvey, before leaving Baymoore he said what he flet to his father and was disowned infront of everyone. Craig then forced Ed to do an illegal job for him or risk death.
Belinda Andrews died leaving the Andrews family in shock.
Amy and Patrick's marriage is on the rocks, Patrick is havign a secret affair and Amy wants a baby to salvage their marraige.
Mandy is suspicous of Craig's part in the robbery and starts to seriosuly suspect that her husband is the criminal that every makes him out to be...
Craig got a phone call regarding Ed, he was furious, the police called at the Taylor household with news on Ed....
New Episode Coming Tomorrow!
INT. Jenkins Manor - Night
The police are in the living room. Richard and Tanya are talking to them.
Richard: Well officers, we havent heard anything from him since he left... Tanya tried to make a phone call....
P.O: Any luck?
Tanya: No its on answerphone....
Richard: I heard her tough, she said he may be in trouble with Craig Harvey...
P.O: The local mechanic?
Richard: One of this respectable titles yes, but try pimp, drug dealer, extortner....the list is endless...im suprised you lot havent been able to nail him before that....
P.O: It isnt as easy as that Mr Taylor, people like Harvey cover their tracks well...
Tanya: Anyways enough about Craig, i presume youve found something to do with Ed?
P.O: Yes we have, some of the officers down Dover have found Edward's car desrted near the docks...
Richard: What? He's left the country!
P.O: No we found his passport in the car... along with this
The police officer holds up a bag of cocaine. Richard is shocked beyond belief.
EXT. DEVON SAFEHOUSE - MORNING
Craig parks his car down an avergae street. He is on the phone to Mandy
Craig: Yes Love...ive just had to go for a spot of buisness....car auction for a mate... yeah i'll be back later i supose.... okay....bye love
Craig bangs on the door of a house, Nigel opens the door.
Nigel: Craig...
Craig storms trough the house.
Craig: Where the ******* hell is he Nigel!? How hard is it to keep a lad locked up in a house!?
Nigel: He must have crept out when i was...
Craig: When you was what? Stoned out of your head? You pillock! Did he take anything with him?
Nigel: Um....
Craig: Dont mess with me Nigel! Tell it to me straight!
Nigel: He's raided the safe....took a grand in cash...and the smack...
Craig: What all of it?
Nigel: Yeah
Craig: You Fing Tard! Thats over a million on the streets! You dozy plank!
Nigel: Im sorry Craig...
Craig: Not half as sorry as Ed's gonna be when i find him...
Thats great BB. Loving Craig's charcter. Am i the only one that finds him histerical already?!
this is great bb. keep up the good work.
That's well good.
Yey you started writing again!
thsi is fab honey! Do more soon, hope ed is alrite
He is isn;t he?????
So who does everyone think Patrick is seeing????
that woiuld be telling :p ed's fate will be learnt come christmas folks!Quote:
Originally Posted by *Fanatic*Loves Dennis*