Yep,hope you do some of the funeral!
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Yep,hope you do some of the funeral!
VICIOUS THUG: I keel you!
PEGGY: OMG no please don’t!
BILLY: *jumping out of RANGE ROVER OF DOOM* Unhand that wench, or I keel you muchly!
VICIOUS THUG: Oh, yeah? You and whose army?
RANGE ROVER OF DOOM: *snicker*
GRANT: ‘Allo, Mum.
PEGGY: Buh...?
GRANT: *to VICIOUS THUG* Now is the time for a$s-kicking.
VICIOUS THUG: Oh sh*t.
PHIL and GRANT: A-one! A-two! A-three! *they swing him into some bushes*
VICIOUS THUG: Wheee! Er, I mean, OW.
GRANT: ‘Allo, Mum.
PEGGY: Didn’t you say that already?
GRANT: Oh yeah.
JAKE and CHRISSIE: *are getting it on, squee*
GARRY: *reads ancient Chinese books? ....wait...*
PEGGY: So, Phil, how come you’re not in prison?
PHIL: *mumbles* No evidence blah... shupfth... We don’t talk about that anymore.
PEGGY: Oh, okay.
GRANT: What’s for tea?
PAT: .....
PHIL and GRANT wander through the Square, reminiscing fondly.
PHIL: And remember when we broke that guy’s arm and then pretended we totally didn’t?
GRANT: *wiping happy tear from eye* Good times.
PHIL: Yes, good.... OMG CHAVS!
GRANT: WHERE!?!?
PHIL: Quick! After them!
GRANT: I DON’T WANNA DIE!!!!
PHIL: ....
GRANT: ....
CHAV: Too slow Grandpa! *runs away*
GRANT: ME HULK!
JOHNNY: Who the hell are you?
PHIL: Phil Mitchell. Pleased to meet you.
JOHNNY: A pleasure *they shake hands* Who’s he?
GRANT: ME SMASH!
JOHNNY: ....
PHIL: My brother.
GRANT: Stay away from our mum or there will be a$s-kicking.
JOHNNY: *wimbles* Don’t hurt me.
*PHIL and GRANT break into the Vic without a crowbar or anything, because they are Just. That. Bad.*
GRANT: I’m baaaaaack!
CHRISSIE: Huh?
GRANT: Boo.
CHRISSIE: OH NOES!
DENNIS: Okay, I’m totally gonna hit you now.
GRANT: Fair enough.
DENNIS: It will hurt.
GRANT: Okay.
DENNIS: *swings at GRANT, but GRANT ducks and then grabs him and smashes him against the piano*
GRANT: *grabs barstool* RAAAA!
SHARON: *appearing from nowhere* Noooo Grant don’t hurt my husband!
GRANT: HUSBAND WTF?
SHARON: *isn’t even surprised to see GRANT back after five years* Now I will stare at you in a sultry manner.
GRANT: Fine by me.
DENNIS: Hey-!
That's really good. The episode last night was actually funny in a good way, but you made it hilarious!
xxx
:rotfl: that was really good, well done! :thumbsup:
:lol: Fab!
Brill. :)
ha ha ha this is bloddy funny ha ha ha ha i keel you from the vicious thug ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
that's well good
I'll do another one after EE tonight but this is just a random one of last night's Lost that I felt like doing (I need to write funny stuff! my other script is depressing) :p
SHANNON: So Boone, what have you been doing with Locke in the jungle?
BOONE: .... Nothing. Totally nothing.
SHANNON: Oh. Because I'm getting worried about you sneaking off at night to be with a strange man in the hot, exciting jungle...
BOONE: .....Shut up.
HURLEY: Jack? Can I ask you something?
JACK: Sure, step into my office.
HURLEY: .... Anyway, I've kind of been eating too much fruit and it is NOT GOOD.
JACK: *giggle*
HURLEY: What are you, twelve?
JACK: You need fish.
HURLEY: Well, that's... that's great. Where do you propose I look for fish, doofus?
JACK: ....In the ocean?
HURLEY: .... Right, right.
KATE: *has my name, squee* Dude, hiding behind a leaf doesn't make you invisible.
JACK: ... I knew that.
KATE: Why do you keep ogling me?
JACK: Because you are hawt. Because.... you're interesting.
KATE: And hot.
JACK: That too.
KATE: Let me show you something.
JACK: Does it involve your chest?
SUN: Welcome to Sun's Secret Herb Garden! May I take your order?
JACK: Wow, awesome!
SUN: What, you never seen a garden before? Wow, it's a damn good thing I don't speak English, isn't it?
KATE: I found her working here a while ago. I've been helping her.
SUN: If by 'helping' you mean 'trampling all over the place and getting in my way with your crappy American non-green fingers', SURE.
KATE: So, Sun can't speak English. Weird, huh?
BOONE: So, what exactly are we going to do today?
LOCKE: Stare at the hatch. Going "ooo..."
BOONE: Not try and open it or anything?
LOCKE: Hell no. It's only episode *checks watch* somethingorother.
BOONE: Because Shannon is getting suspicious. I think I should tell her about the hatch.
LOCKE: *ties him up and leaves him for dead in the forest*
BOONE: Woe!
HURLEY: Hey, man.
JIN: *stares at him*
HURLEY: So, you're Korean, huh?
JIN: *raises eyebrow*
HURLEY: Will you help me catch a fish?
JIN: ....
HURLEY: Okay then! Ignore me! Doofus.
JIN: *thinking* I really wish I knew what he was saying.
KATE: And then he said "No, really?" and then I said "sure, why not?" and then he said -
SUN: WOMAN, SHUT UP!
KATE: OMG you speak English?
SUN: ...no!
KATE: OMG you totally do!
SUN: *eyeroll* Why am I stuck here with these damn people?
BOONE: So, the bald sexy guy has left me tied up in the hot, steamy jungle to wither away and die....
A TREE: Ha ha! *like Nelson from the Simpsons*
BOONE: ....Dude, Shannon was totally right. Never trust the bald sexy guy.
SHANNON: Boooooone....
BOONE: What?
SHANNON: Heeeelp! Locke tied me up!
BOONE: Oh noes!
SHANNON: Heeeelp me.....
BOONE: Did he say why he tied you up?
SHANNON: ..... Um, no. Not at all.
BOONE: ....
BEAST: RAAAAAA!
*tree-crashing abounds*
SHANNON: ARGHHHH IT"S COMING!
BOONE: Well, duh!
*Somehow he gets free and unties SHANNON*
*FLASHBACK*
BOONE: You tricked me out of 50,000 dollars! I hate you!
SHANNON: You totally love me.
BOONE: Do not.
SHANNON: Do too.
BOONE: Do n-
SHANNON: *licks his ear*
BOONE: Oh, God.
HURLEY: Sea urchin! Sea urchin!
JIN: *eyeroll* Do me and Sun have to do everything around here? The rest of you are just dumb.
HURLEY: It bit me! *cries*
JIN: For the love of...
BOONE: Ruuuun!
SHANNON: Ruuuun!
THE BEAST: Stand still!
BOONE: Huh?
SHANNON: *is deaded*
BOONE: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
THE TREES: Woe.
HURLEY: Man, that sea urchin was evil.
JIN: *hands him a fish* Now will you shut up?
HURLEY: Oh, thanks, man.
BOONE: You indirectly killed Shannon! I keel you!
LOCKE: Why is there no blood on you?
BOONE: ...
LOCKE: Yeah, smarta$s.
BOONE: OMG she's aliiiiiiive!
LOCKE: ...So, how'd you feel when she died?
BOONE: Relieved.
EVERYONE: Gasp!
LOCKE: Okay. Now come with me.
SHANNON: So, I'm not dead.
SAYID: Cool.
SHANNON: Isn't it?
SAYID: Yay!
SHANNON and SAYID: *gaze into each other's eyes* Sigh.
Okay, so now I'm totally going to do Lost episodes as well. I should probably start a new thread but I've got about a hundred going at once anyway so they're staying in here. I'll do Lost on a Thursday, and EE will be up... whenever I can be bothered. Because I :heart: Lost (namely Charlie, but the whole show is good :D )
wow, the lost one is fab :cheer: good your doing more of it :D
There really funny!
Thursday's EastEnders:
GRANT: Husband?
SHARON: Yes!
DENNIS: Er, could someone separate me from the piano, please?
SHARON: *picks him up* Phil, why aren't you in prison?
PHIL: *murmurs* Because arglebarge blurp.
SHARON: ....
PHIL: Well, I'm here now! *happily*
DENNIS: You two better get out, or I'll totally beat you up. With one hand.
GRANT: I just chucked you about the room like a pillow case. And you still keep threatening us...
PHIL: He's either very stupid or very very hardman.
DENNIS: ....
GRANT: Well, I know which one I'll go for.
SHARON: Leave my husband alone! He is teh sex.
GRANT: No way! I'm sexier than him any day of the week!
SHARON: How about Friday?
GRANT: ....
PHIL: Hey, why is no-one mentioning me? I'm quite good-looking.
SHARON: ....
GRANT: .....
DENNIS: ....
CHRISSIE: ....
PHIL: *cries*
RUBY: I'm having so much fun with these silly, uncivilised people!
KAT: Who's for beans on toast!
RUBY: Beans.... on toast?
JOHNNY: (outside) Let me in, or I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow this house down!
KAT: Sigh. I'll get it.
JOHNNY: Dude, the line is 'not by the hair on my chinny-'
KAT: What do you want?
JOHNNY: Give me my daughter back!
KAT: Fat chance. She's happy with us.
JOHNNY: Until she gets tired of beans on toast.
KAT: *shocked* OMG Do not insult the beans! Precious beans!
JOHNNY: I wouldn't like to be the one using the bathroom after you guys, is all I'm saying.
KAT: You leave now.
JOHNNY: Don't you want your letters?
KAT: *snort* Purlease, I invented the hand-slammy in door trick.
JOHNNY: ....
KAT: GET OUUUUUUT!
JOHNNY: *wibbles* Okay.
PEGGY: What are you boys going to do now?
PHIL: We're gonna go see Sam.
PEGGY: Without a visiting order or anything?
PHIL: .... That place is like my second home. They'll welcome me with open arms... *nostalgic sigh*
BILLY: Can I come?
GRANT: No.
BILLY: *bottom lip trembles* You never take me anywhere!
GRANT: I took you to the shops once.
BILLY: That's not the same! *cries*
PHIL: We have to go.
GRANT: Yes.
BILLY: *sniffle*
RUBY: Yay! Selling these garments on this low-class market stall is perfect for getting my own back on Daddy!
KAT: Skirts, three for a parnd!
JOHNNY: OMG Ruby what are you doing mixing with these people?!
RUBY: Hmph. I'm having fun.
JOHNNY: You're embarrassing me and you're embarrassing yourself!
RUBY: Am not.
JOHNNY: You're just doing this to make a point!
RUBY: *eyeroll* Never.
JOHNNY: This is a disgrace to the family! Come home at once!
RUBY: I don't want your dirty money! Go away!
JOHNNY: ...The same dirty money that provided the clothes you're wearing and the food you ate for the last 17 years?
RUBY: *throws little-rich-girl tantrum*
JOHNNY: Technically, if you were really serious about this, you'd tear off those clothes bought with dirty money and go around in a binbag or something.
RUBY: SHUT UP.
KAT: Go away Johnny. She doesn't want you. She's MIIIIINE! *hugs her*
JOHNNY: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
STACEY: You know, Kat, you should really stop kind of adopting every kid that appears in the Square.
KAT: SHUT UP I want a baby.
That was good. Loved the Billy, Grant and phil bit.
xxx
very very very very very very very very funny please post more soon please :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
hilarious! well done :thumbsup:
Friday 28th EE episode
IAN: You know, it really is true - you can't run a garage without mechanics.
PHIL: Hey.
IAN: *wibbles* Don't hurt me.
PHIL: Half the reason I hate you is because you're such a cowardly girlpants.
IAN: I want my mommy...
PEGGY: Sharon, don't lean against that wall. You don't know where it's been.
SHARON: I am so torn up in my emotions woe!
PEGGY: There, there, dear. Hey, how about you go see Sam?
SHARON: STFU NEVER.
PATRICK: Hey Phil, do you think I could buy the car lot?
PHIL: Well, sure! I'd be delighted.
~ME: Waiiit... does he even own the car lot? I thought the Mitchells famously lost all their empire to- ~
PHIL: STFU, woman.
~ME: Eep. ~
PHIL: Chrissie killed Den, Chrissie killed Den, nyer nyer nyer!
CHRISSIE: *cries* I don't know how much more of this I can take.
JAKE: Despite the fact you've dealt with it fine for the last... eight months...?
CHRISSIE: Oh, I don't mean that, I meant his distractingly red tomato head.
JAKE: Oh, I know, it's killing me too.
JAKE and CHRISSIE: *huggle*
TINA: I'm losing Johnny, Pat! *bawls*
PAT: Well, you've got to fight for him.
TINA: ..... Why?
PAT: I don't know... it was in the script.
DENNIS: Stay away from my wife.
GRANT: Shut up, or I piano you.
A PIANO: *plays notes menacingly*
DENNIS: EEK!
RANDOM WOMAN: My car, please?
IAN: Er, you see, well....
RANDOM WOMAN: Hmph! I'm leaving!
RANDOM KIDS: Yay, we're extras!
SHARON: So, you killed my father.
SAM: NO, SHARON. I AM YOUR FATHER.
SHARON: .....
SAM: ...Sorry, wrong script.
SHARON: Anyway... OMG WTF WHY'D YOU DO IT?!
SAM: I totally didn't, it was Chrissie.
SHARON: LIAH!
SAM: She gave me £1000 on March 10th. And the last thing she said before she bashed your dad over the head with a doorstop was "THEY'VE ARRESTED BETTY?!"
SHARON: ....
SAM: Damn it, I can't even remember my own lines. She said she might not have been the only squishy he'd had in his life, but she'd certainly be his last.
SHARON: *weeps* She was his squishy...
SAM: So, we've established that Chrissie killed Den, yes?
SHARON: NO! *runs away*
SAM: I hate it when they do that.
*SHARON is being very sneaky and looking at the Vic's accounts, but isn't sneaky enough to actually SHUT THE DOOR. If anyone walks past they can totally see what she's doing.*
CHRISSIE: OMFG what are you doing?
SHARON: Being sneaky.
CHRISSIE: Really. Why are you looking at my accounts? They're MY accounts. MINE.
SHARON: Sorry, I just wanted to check you didn't kill my father or anything.
CHRISSIE: Oh... alright then.
SHARON: And you plainly did give £1000 to Sam on 10th March...
CHRISSIE: Well, if you read it properly, you'd notice it just said "personal cheque". Well done, Sherlock.
SHARON: ....You didn't kill my father, did you?
CHRISSIE: Of course not! He was my squishy and I loved him! You were the first woman in his life, though. In a way that totally isn't creepy in any way. No. Totally not.
SHARON: OMG! The same words!
CHRISSIE: How are they the same-?
SHARON: Must dash!
SHARON: Waaaaait! I know Chrissie killed my dad!
GRANT: Yay!
*The duf-dufs start on SHARON's pout*
:rotfl: excellent, can't wait for your next! :cheer:
wow very good
OMG FUNNY I WAS ACTUALLY LAUGHING (which wasn't a good thing because my brothers are trying to sleep) :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
Sssssoooooooooo funny. This is ace! Please do more soon :)
:rotfl: they are really funny do more soon please :D
Well I can't really do any more EE until after Monday's episode :p but in case any of you saw that random movie on Five last night, I'll do the last twenty minutes of that because I just turned on the TV and saw it, and I feel like it. :D I don't know any of the character's names though...
SOME GUY: Let's go and look for Sebastian.
SOME GUY NO. 2: Okay, but whatever you do, don't split up!
*They split up.*
SOME GUY: *goggles on* Look! Behind those heating pipes!
SOME SOON-TO-DIE GUY: The colour showing up on our thermal goggles couldn't possibly be caused by the heat in the pipes! Let's shoot him!
*They shoot the pipes, which is just... stupid.*
SOME SOON-TO-DIE GUY: Well, damn.
*They both take their goggles off. So they can't see where SEBASTIAN is. Very clever.*
SEBASTIAN: Aw, dudes, now I just have to kill you. So, you know, your stupidity isn't left in the gene pool.
SOME SOON-TO-DIE-GUY: Arghhhhh! *chokes*
SOME GUY: Nooooo! Some Guy!
*He sprays steam around, because it's not like he has a pair of heat-detecting goggles in his hand or anything.*
SOME GUY: You pay!
SEBASTIAN: Pffft. *leaves*
SOME SOON-TO-DIE GUY: *is now SOME DEAD GUY*
SOME GUY: Woe!
SOME SOON-TO-DIE GIRL: OMG he's here!
*She chucks blood around the room everywhere, so if SEBASTIAN comes towards her she'll be able to see his footprints.*
SEBASTIAN: ..... *doesn't move*
SOME SOON-TO-DIE GIRL: Sigh. Well, he clearly isn't in here. I'll just be going-
SEBASTIAN: I KEEL YOU!
SOME SOON-TO-DIE / DEAD GIRL: Ah, crap.
*SEBASTIAN impales most people in the room and locks the only people who are still alive in a freezer-thing. Conveniently, these two are the stars of the movie.*
SOME GIRL: Noooooo!
*SOME GIRL makes a handy electromagnet and opens the door from the inside. Kewl.*
SOME GUY: *is deaded*
SOME GIRL: *sprays fire onto SEBASTIAN*
SEBASTIAN: I'm melting! Melting! Oh, the woe!
*he becomes invisible again*
*SOME GIRL wanders down the corridor, until SEBASTIAN jumps on her from behind.*
SEBASTIAN: I keel you!
SOME GUY: Oh, no you don't!
SOME GIRL: I thought you were dead, or at last badly injured...
SOME GUY: Not any more! Come on, let's get out of here!
SEBASTIAN: Arrrrgh! *fries*
*SOME GUY and SOME GIRL climb up a ladder, escaping... fire... and massive explosions... damn, they must be fast.*
SOME GUY: We're nearly out! Hurry!
*SEBASTIAN grabs SOME GIRL*
SOME GIRL: GAH! WHY WON'T YOU DIE?!
SOME GUY: And how did you get up here so fast?
SEBASTIAN: Come on baby, one last kiss.
SOME GIRL: Ew ew ew ew ew... Okay. *they snog. But then she makes the lift fall and she holds onto a cable, and he is deaded.*
SOME GUY: Whooo, we did it!
*They hug. He is holding onto the last rung of a really weak ladder, and she is a foot below him, so ... what?*
SOME GUY: Baby, what exactly are you holding onto there?
SOME GIRL: Tee hee.
Is it possible to change thread titles? I started this off as just EE scripts, but now I'm just adding any random thing that I find funny.
BTW, if anyone wants any show or film doing like this, then ask me and I'll do it :) (if I've seen it of course :p ) because I enjoy doing these and I don't want to wait until Monday to do another EE one.
Oh, and if you like this sort of stuff you should read Cleolinda http://www.livejournal.com/users/m15m , she's now got a really cool book out. I got the idea for these from there :)
I don't think its possible to change thread titles.
Hey, it looks like I've started a trend...:p Oh well, it was my thing for a while... 15 minutes of fame :rolleyes: I do Lost too! :D Never mind I'm only joking, I'm bored because no-one's Trick-or-Treating us...
double post, sorry
EE, 31st October
*SHARON once again tries to be sneaky, but again she leaves the door conveniently open so anyone wandering past can see what she's doing. Again.*
CHRISSIE: Oh, this is just too easy.
PAT: *theatrical jump backwards* Dennis, you scared the life outta me!
DENNIS: Whatever.
PAT: I think Sharon's wondering where you are-
DENNIS: *throws a tantrum* I don't care! And I was never here!
PAT: He gets more like a girl every day.
CHRISSIE: Hi, Sharon. Want some toast?
SHARON: I'M NOT HUNGRY, B*TCH!
CHRISSIE: ....
SHARON: Sorry. My ex-fiance died in a fire three years ago today.
CHRISSIE: He did?
SHARON: Yes.
CHRISSIE: Wow, those scriptwriters really do know their stuff, huh?
SHARON: Sure do!
PHIL: Don't upset Dennis.
GRANT: Why? He's just a ponce. *actual line.. hee*
PHIL: I know, but don't upset him.
GRANT: Why not? Didn't he kind of frame you for armed robbery and make your life a living hell?
PHIL: Yeah, sure, but don't upset him.
TINA: Guess what Ruby...
RUBY: You're pregnant?
TINA: ... Not to my knowledge. No, me and Johnny are engaged! Squee!
RUBY: OMFG, do you have a deathwish or something?
TINA: I'd have settled for 'congratulations'...
SHARON: Stacey, I want to talk to you.
STACEY: Ruby can stay-
SHARON: No, I want to talk to you alooone. *When she says 'alooone', she moves her eyes in a really freaky way, which was the highlight of the whole show for me... hehe*
STACEY: What about?
SHARON: You should change your alibi.
STACEY: NEVAH!
JOHNNY: Guess what Ruby?
RUBY: You're pregnant?
JOHNNY: ... Me and Tina are-
RUBY: Engaged, oh yeah she already said.
JOHNNY: Gah! Woman!
JOHNNY: You can do nothing right I hate you we shouldn't be together!
TINA: ... What are you saying, Johnny?!
JOHNNY: For the love of...
GRANT: Change your alibi or I stab you.
STACEY: Eek.
KAT: Upset Stacey again and I keel you!
PHIL: Oh, now I'm scared.
GRANT: Yeah, terrified.
KAT: GRRR!
GRANT: ...
PEGGY: Kat, I won't involve you lot. I promised your dad I wouldn't, and you know I like your dad.
KAT: Oh, purlease. You only went out with him because the other, freakier one, was deaaad.
PEGGY: ...
KAT: What?
PEGGY: *sob* I loved him so very very much!
KAT: Incidentally, he was Zoe's biological father.
PEGGY: WTF?
KAT: *brightly* Never mind. You threaten Stacey, you die. Painfully.
*JOHNNY and SOME GIRL WHOSE NAME I CAN'T REMEMBER are getting it on in his office.*
RUBY: *listens at door* Ewwww...
~THE ENTIRE COUNTRY: Ewww.... ~
*RUBY still goes into the office anyway, because.... I really don't want to think about this.*
CHRISSIE: I can't do this anymore Jake! I need Sharon to think good of me! Even though I killed her father without an ounce of guilt, I need her to think good of me!
JAKE: Don't you mean 'well of me'?
CHRISSIE: ....
JAKE: Forget it...
*CHRISSIE then proceeds to confess the entire crime in detail, while they are standing in the club doorway, because... hell, there must be something about that place.*
CHRISSIE: Please buy the Vic I wanna leave...
JOHNNY: Jake, leave a second, wouldja?
JAKE: Hmph. *leaves*
JOHNNY: *removing coat* You know what I want. Now take your coat off.
CHRISSIE: What, seriously? Right here in your office?
JOHNNY: Yeah, baby.
CHRISSIE: *thinks* Think of Jake, think of Jake....*takes coat off*
*JOHNNY fools around with her for a minute, because he is ebil*
JOHNNY: Okay. Did you really think I'd do this?
CHRISSIE: WTF... Well, yeah. This place kind of has a history of gangsters bribing women to sleep wi-
JOHNNY: Shut up. Leave.
CHRISSIE: ...
JOHNNY: NOW!
CHRISSIE: *leaves* He crazy.
JAKE: Well, what happened?
CHRISSIE: Thankfully, nothing. But I think he has a thing about the taking of off coats. Maybe it's a fetish.
JAKE:.....
JOHNNY: *watches tape of CHRISSIE confessing* Hee.
~ME: So, let me get this straight. Practically the whole Square knows that Chrissie killed Den, but they're all saying nothing, so...~
JOHNNY: So this is fun!
that's great :D
The girl is Amy by the way. That was very good. GOod point about everyone knowing who killed Den! This is really funny.
xxx
Quote:
Originally Posted by crazy_purple
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA i nearly choked on my drink jhahahahahaha i like it!!!!
Great once again. Please do more.
EastEnders 1st November
*PHIL hunts for anything incriminating in the Vic. He looks in every nook and cranny, but can't see anything.*
PHIL: GAH!
*He finally sees some papers... on a table...?*
PHIL: She really knows how to hide things, doesn't she?
*JOHNNY and AMY are getting it on in his office again. In a word: Ew.*
AMY: Hey, I didn't know you were going to give me a rise.
JOHNNY: *conveniently opens his eyes at just the right time to see TINA coming in on the camera* Out! Now!
AMY: Aw, no more wrinkly sex... *sob*
TINA: You're having an affair with her, aren't you?
JOHNNY: ...No. Totally not.
TINA: Admit it!
JOHNNY: Okay.
TINA: OMG!
JOHNNY: Oh, go take some Valium.
TINA: And you should take some Vi-
JOHNNY: Gasp!
RUBY: Tina!
*TINA stomps past, then coasts to a stop dramatically*
RUBY: I'm sorry.
TINA: It's not your fault... *hugs her*
RUBY: I wish people would stop hugging me all the damn time.
*TINA wanders off again*
RUBY: Tina!
*TINA does another dramatic stop, then spins around*
RUBY: ...Where'd they teach you that?
*PAT tries to get into the bookies, but the POSTMAN is rebelling against her*
PAT: Excuse me *goes right*
POSTMAN: Sorry. *also goes right*
PAT: Um... *goes left*
POSTMAN: Beg your pardon. *also goes left*
PAT: OMG this extra is totally after a line! Security!
*SECURITY GUARDS appear and drag away the poor POSTMAN*
POSTMAN: Nooo! I have a wife and kids! Pleeeeease!
PAT: You wouldn't believe the extras nowadays.
DENNIS: *girly sniff* No?
PAT: What's wrong?
DENNIS: Sharon won't play with me... *cries*
PAT: Aw. There, there. *pats him on the back*
AMY: C'mon Johnny...
JOHNNY: Not right now.
AMY: *cries* But without you I'm nothing... noooothing!
GRANT: So, my kids are cute, yes?
SHARON: *sniff* Yes.
GRANT: So, why haven'y you had kids yet?
SHARON: Ooh. Awkward.
GRANT: Eh?
SHARON: Years ago, I had an abortion and now I can't have babies...
GRANT: Aw, I'm sorry to hear that-
SHARON: And that little foetus, Grant? It was your foetus! *cries*
GRANT: OMG FOETUS!
DENNIS: She doesn't like me no more....
PAT: Oh, shut up. Act like a man, for God's sake.
DENNIS: They... didn't teach us that at acting school... *sob*
JOHNNY: Oh, great. Now comes the dramatic bag-packing scene.
TINA: Yep!
JOHNNY: You idiot.
TINA: I am so leaving.
JOHNNY: Pffft. No woman ever leaves me! I'm simply too goodlooking.
TINA: .... Right, I'm off.
JOHNNY: I KEEL!
TINA: Eek Ruby!
RUBY: WTF?
*TINA has one of the now legendary BLACK CAB exits*
RUBY: Don't go!
TINA: I have to!
THE CAB: Don't worry, I'll be back... sooooon....
RUBY: Really?
THE CAB: Yeah. There's to be a mass exodus at Christmas.
RUBY: Argh! *makes the sign of the cross at the BLACK CAB*
JOHNNY: Ruby no I neeeeed you!
RUBY: I hate you! You're a fake and a liar and a phoney and I hope I never set eyes on you again!
JOHNNY: .... You totally borrowed that from Sandy in Grease, didn't you?
RUBY: STFU! *leaves*
JOHNNY: NOOOOOOOOO!
GRANT: Oooh, that's too bad.
*JOHNNY goes to hit him, but misses and ends up in some bushes*
GRANT: Tee hee.
*DENNIS appears and symbolically offers JOHNNY his symbolic hand in a symbolic gesture of friendship and symbolism.*
that is really good
:rotfl: fab! keep it up :cheer:
well done they are all great :D:D:D
wow very good :rotfl:
This is fab ! Well done honey, your so good at this i can't write comedy to save my life! x
Just so you all know, I hang around with the person who writes these :D
lucky you :D
I think it's great especially the foetus part and the symbolism :rotfl: :rotfl: