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there is a thing called the "parcel devil" that dresses up as a delivery person. He waits, hiding in the bushes, until you leave the house and boom - in he goes leaves a little note saying "sorry you weren't in but a re-delivery will be attempted tomorrow when you are not in!" - try installing cctv and you will see this is perfectly true!
Q. why do laptops/PCs never boot up when you really really need them to?
because the "parcel devil" has a cousin called the "PC devil" (who has a smaller and more evil brother the "Laptop devil" and as soon as you need your PC or laptop the devils jump out of their hiding places (normally behind the dustbunnies below your desk/sofa) and work their evil magic to stop your machine booting up
why does ice cream melt?
A- Ice cream melts so you can get it all over your clothes
Q- Why does nearly everyone like is this the way to amarillo
cos its the sort of song that takes over your mind so you dont know what to think properly
Q: why dont sheep shrink when it rains?
A- because if they shrink the farmer won't kill them so quicky because they have to be big
Q- Why do people have children :)
so they can have little slaves to moan at all day!
Q: why is school a legal form of torture?
a - they torture you so you will be good and not go to prison when your older
Q - Why do people smoke
cos they want to look and smell like a chimney (soz to anyone that i offended in saying that)
Q: what makes cuddly toys more cuddly than other toys that are just known as toys?
because they are made of soft sponge stuff and other otys are hard bricks
Q - why do alot of people use the soapboards?
cos they are the bestest spoilerboards ever lol! and also very very very very very very addictive :D
Q: why does jelly wobble?