Depression

I'm procrastinating so here's an update.

General mood is constantly up and down. Its annoying to be quite honest. I saw my doctor last week as I had a migraine and we ended up talking about my aversion techniques. Needless to say I wasn't in the mood so next week we're having a chat about my drinking. I'm not looking forward to it.

It doesn't take a genius to work out that there's a direct link between my alcohol and drug consumption and what's going on in my life at the moment. In the last six weeks I've had about seven days where I haven't had any mind/body altering substances (and that's not just because I'm a student).

I want to start some therapy to enable me to at least stop drug abuse. I'm not ready to stop drinking yet and I think its unreasonable to attempt it when I'm still a student and surrounded by alcohol every day. However I'm moving back home next weekend so I might have to put it on hold until October. Whilst my family GP is brilliant, I don't feel comfortable talking to him about my depression which is something of a problem. I would tell my uni doctor everything that I get up to but I know he documents everything in my notes and I suspect my family GP would tell my mum once he read these.

So I'm presented with a dilemma. Its taken me years to reach this point where I'm ready to get help but its come at the wrong time of year. I can't travel back to uni every week as its a three hour train journey. I don't want to transfer therapy when I'm finally getting somewhere so I guess its got to wait.

Abigail, your family GP is not allowed to tell your mum anything that's in your medical notes - he could get struck off if he did.

I know but he might let something slip. Its not that I don't trust him, I don't trust my mother not to ask questions as she seems him almost every week for something.

He's probably well used to dealing with nosy relatives and will be able to fend her off. I do understand why you're nervous about it though.

You're right, I'm probably worrying about nothing.

I noticed in the Shoutbox that you're going out tonight. Hope you have a good night and manage to forget your worries for a few hours :)

As Dazzle said, your doctor cannot say anything. I totally understant your worries though - I'm totally the same, so moving away was so good for me! Are you on any waiting lists for therapy? Last summer all I did was put things on hold, then about every month travel back for the day to see either the therapist or my psychiatrist or doctor, so people were always kept in the loop. Is that something possible for you?

I'm not on any waiting list at the moment. The doctor said he would refer me for any therapy I like and I was considering neuropsych as I did suffer a lot with pain before I started on meds. The pain how now almost gone so I think that was a physical side effect of depression. I refused any sort of counselling, I've seen a CAMHS psychologist about four years ago and I hated it.

I'm seeing my doctor next week. I don't know how long the waiting lists are around here (West midlands), if its a six month wait then I will ask him to refer me. I don't want to see the university counsellors as they're very generalised and focus on educational aspects rather than anything I need. I've been told this by several people that they are good for general stuff but for severe depression they're not much use.

My doctors surgery at uni is an outreach centre that only runs term time and we can only visit the main surgery if its an emergency (no idea what those who stay on do during the summer). The train fare is £30 return which I can't afford at the moment. I also can't do a return journey in one day as it makes me really ill.

Oh, okay, so that isn't really a posibility. I'm also in the west midlands, in Bham, and it isn't bad but it depends from place to place - whether NHS based or private but funded. As you said, you'd be best off speaking to the doctor as only they may know (although I've always been told at least 3 months).

Whatever happens, I know I need something. Either medication change/increase or therapy. I'm on a slippery destructive path and I just can't stop myself. I can't stop drinking on my own.