thats well good and i like paul in neighbours aswell
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thats well good and i like paul in neighbours aswell
lol, i quite like paul too *teehee* :wub: please do some neighbours, i think it'd be fab! :cheer:
Very good. Don't watch neighbours so I can't comment on wether you should post or not. You have to do tonight's episode now!
xxx
GRANT: She's gone!
PHIL: She's disappeared!
GRANT: Dammit!
SHARON: Who?
GRANT: We've failed!
SHARON: Yes, but what are you talking about?
PHIL: *cries* She's gotten away!
SHARON: Will somebody tell me WTF is going on?
GRANT: ....You're a little slow, aren't you?
GRANT: Have you seen them?
ALFIE: Nope.
GRANT: Are you sure?
ALFIE: Nope.
GRANT: .... So, you're not sure if you saw them or not?
ALFIE: Nope.
*GRANT's head explodes with the effort of thinking this through*
NANA: Ooh hello boys! Would you like some tea? I'll go make some. *leaves*
GRANT: ...
NANA: *comes back in with tea* Here we are.
GRANT: That was bloody quick!
ALFIE: She has superpowers, but don't tell anybody. Her alter ego is SuperGran.
BILLY: .... Come on, tell us where they are.
NANA: Oh, are you talking about Chrissie and Jake, dearies? I think they made a phone call.
ALFIE: *facepalm*
GRANT: *checking phone* OMG this is a taxi service! Let's go! *he and BILLY run away like Batman and Robin*
*CHRISSIE and JAKE creep down the stairs*
THE AUDIENCE: OMG!
ALFIE: Well done, Nan. We'll make a con artist out of you yet.
*SHARON watches THE TAPE OF DOOM AND EXPOSITION*
CHRISSIE: *on tape* ...And that's when I totally killed Den. I killed him good. He's 100% dead all right. And I did it. Me. it was me.
SHARON: ... SHE STILL DIDN'T DO IT.
JAKE: We have to leave. Now.
ALFIE: Why? Did Chrissie k- OMG.
JAKE: Shhhh!
ALFIE: But-
JAKE: Will you help us or not?
ALFIE: Okay.
PHIL: Ian, I know you're buying the Vic!
JANE: Well, I didn't.
IAN: *wibbles* Don't hurt me I'll be good-
PHIL: I won't hurt you, if-
IAN: I was talking to Jane.
PHIL: Well, we're gonna leave you here. Billy will guard you, because he's obviously the best qualified to do that.
JANE: But he's the puny one and I could totally knock him out with a single punch-
IAN: ...
JANE: That'll be fine. We'll never escape from his evil clutches.
ALFIE: But won't you spend some time with Nana, Jake?
JAKE: ON THE RUN HERE!
ALFIE: Please....
JAKE: I haven't got much time!
ALFIE: Dramatic irony coming through! Neither has she, you f**kwit...
JANE: *bows to BILLY*
BILLY: Oh, you gonna do your karate thing now? *giggles like a girl*
JANE: Ha. Yeah. JUDO CHOP! *as in the Austin Powers films...*
BILLY: *dead from karate* Oh, WHY did you DO that?
IAN: Sign on the dotted lign, plzkthanx.
CHRISSIE: But... this price is stupid!
IAN: *grin* Hee.
CHRISSIE: You crazy!
IAN: You on the run for murder!
CHRISSIE: Touché. *signs it*
*CHRISSIE and JAKE are escaping merrily in a taxi, until suddenly KAT appears in the middle of the road like one of those two creepy kids from The Shining*
CHRISSIE: Oh God! What do you want? *clutching heart*
KAT: Keep Zoe out of it!
CHRISSIE: I could do that a lot easier if you'd moooove along!
KAT: .... Oh, yeah. *moves*
*They continue escaping merrily, until PATRICK's head appears suddenly in the window, again like something from The Shining.*
CHRISSIE: ARGH! Will you people stop DOING that?!
PATRICK: Going somewhere nice?
CHRISSIE: ...Yes. We're having coffee and croissants for breakfast.
PATRICK: Okie-dokes. *wanders off*
JAKE: What did you tell him that for?
CHRISSIE: I like croissants, okay? IS THAT A CRIME?
PHIL: Wait! Chrissie laid a false trail!
GRANT: How do you know?
PHIL: ... It was in the script!
GRANT: YAY!
CHRISSIE: We made it!
JAKE: I'm just going to get some money out the machine.
CHRISSIE: OK.
*When JAKE walks back, CHRISSIE spots some POLICEMEN, but she is relieved when they walk past him... so she spins round and-*
SHARON: Hello, Chrissie.
CHRISSIE: WHAT IS IT WITH YOU PEOPLE!?
SHARON: This won't be the first time someone's done this *whacks her one* AND I HOPE IT WON'T BE THE LAST! SQUEEE!
CHRISSIE: I totally saw that coming.
POLICEMAN: You're under arrest, for... many, many things.
CHRISSIE: *ironic grin*
JAKE: *also being arrested, but with a much less kewl expression on his face* Oh noes!
CHRISSIE: GO DOWN LIKE A MAN, JAKE.
JAKE: *starts bawling*
CHRISSIE: What did I ever see in him?
This is Great :thumbsup: . More soon please.
Ooh I forgot to say:
CHRISSIE: You fools! You fools! I was always the pretty one!
~The. End~
Epilogue: Most of the people on the Square get arrested for aiding and abetting; Little Mo whinges; Charlie tells everyone who will listen about 'his girls', sounding creepily like some strange pimp; Johnny finally tells Ruby to STFU; Zoe is never mentioned again, by anyone, ever; Kat cries (a lot) but is then arrested anyway; Ian finally kicks Phil's a$s, but no-one was around to see it so no-one believes him; Nana gets sick of Alfie and his bad choices with women (Molfie is a prime example) and runs away with Jim; Alfie is shocked but then lures Kat back to the kitchen table again, where they spend the rest of their days in happy Kalfieness; Den returns from the dead again; Dot finally gives in to temptation and has an affair with Dennis; Sharon pouts.
:rotfl: That's not really the end, I just felt like writing it :D
:rotfl: like the tuesday script and the epilogue :rotfl: dot and dennis! :lol:
Very good Script. Dot and Deniis!
xxx
*Start credits*
THE THAMES: Yeah, I really do have nothing better to do all day than spin around like this. Wheee!
*In a Dingy Jail Cell*
CHRISSIE: Maybe if I close my eyes and wish really hard that I wasn't here, I'll be back home. *closes her eyes for a minute, opens them* Aw, man.
*The Slaters' House*
KAT: *is wearing jeans, OMG*
STACEY: Hey, I thought you were always in a skirt?
KAT: Dude, I know!
ALFIE: Oh, hi Jake. So, they released you?
JAKE: From what?
ALFIE: Prison.
JAKE: Oh, of course. It's not like I aided and abetted the escape of a wanted murderer or anything.
NANA: Look! I'm sorting out these charming pieces of junk to leave to you when I die!
ALFIE: *tear* Aw, I get the tea cosy...
NANA: And I left this to Kat! *holds up necklace* Even though she already has my engagement ring!
ALFIE: She does?
NANA: Yeah, you bought her a totally rubbish one so I swapped them over and then you split up and she NEVER GAVE IT BACK. *A trip to the Department of Backstory.*
ALFIE: ...
~ME: How is it I can remember this stuff, but not anything that is actually useful to my life?~
KAT: *is now wearing a skirt, and looks worried. So would I be, if my clothes magically changed.* Sharon, what happened?
SHARON: She didn't mention Zoe, okay?! Now will you shut up?
KAT: Yay!
SHARON: BTW, I prefered the jeans.
JAKE: So, I'm leaving. The police didn't need to ask me any questions or anything, conveniently.
ALFIE: That's nice. *manly hug* Bye!
IAN: Oi, you! This is my pub!
GRANT: I think you'll find it isn't.
PHIL: Yeah.
SHARON: It was never Chrissie's to sell.
PHIL: So it doesn't belong to you at all! Ha!
IAN: .... Whatever, b*tches.
PHIL: So, we'll... remove our suitcases from your home now.
GRANT: Yeah, why did we put them there in the first place again?
SHARON: How about you leave them here? You can have the Vic.
PHIL: OMG SQUEE!
GRANT: Man, that was convenient. Moving our stuff here for no particular reason, and then getting the Vic. You'd almost think we'd planned it. Or someone had.
~ROB GITTINS: *cough*~
ALFIE: Hey! Nana, we are going to see William's grave tomorrow! And conveniently, it's Armistice Day then too!
NANA: Let's educate the viewers! Wheee!
*End credits*
THE THAMES: Yay! I'm back! How have you been? Well, Some kid threw an empty can in me, but then I was all like The Perfect Storm on him and he was like *squeaky voice* 'OMG noooo! Please don't hurt me!' and I was like 'Yeah, you'll be sorry!' so he was totally pwned! And -
THE ANNOUNCER: Coming up next is...
THE THAMES: NOBODY INTERRUPTS THE RIVER, OKAY?!
*A preview for the next episode*
ALFIE: *always manages to look stupid in a suit*
NANA: *I can't hear what she's saying because the sound on my TV was off, gah.*
:cheer: