Desperate Housewives - Season 5 Spoilers

Episode 5.01 You're Gonna Love Tomorrow

Five years ago, Susan and Mike were in a terrible collision with another car. Now, she's sleeping with her painter, Jackson, but refuses to let him spend the night or to let him meet her friends, saying she's "not ready."

Bree and Katherine's catering business has become a fulltime affair, but the spotlight is on Bree, who's written a new cookbook. Katherine is touched that Bree has dedicated the book to her, until she discovers that she's not credited for many of the recipes that they came up with together. During a shoot for a cooking show, she fakes an injury so that Bree is forced to apply a spun-sugar veil that only Katherine has ever successfully done. Bree makes a horrible botch of it and Katherine then shows the camera crew that she's really the expert.

That night, as Bree practices the procedure for a reshoot, she comes across a toy that used to belong to Danielle's baby, the one she'd agreed to let Bree raise. But Danielle, who's now married, changed her mind and took the baby back, telling Bree she'd have to find "something else" to take the baby's place.

Gabby, who now has two girls with Carlos, can't ignore the fact that her four-year-old, Juanita, has a weight problem when she can't find a "princess dress" that will fit her for a party. She's alarmed to see Juanita eating several helpings of cake at the party, so she decides to make her daughter exercise by forcing her to run after the car on the way home. Finally, Juanita gives up and takes the bus. Carlos scolds her and Gabby sadly admits she's glad Carlos is blind because she no longer feels pretty. He insists she'll always be beautiful to him.

Porter and Preston, the Scavo twins, are still holy terrors at age 16. Lynette discovers them running an underage casino at the pizzeria and grounds them for a month, which means they'll miss homecoming. She asks Tom to speak to the boys but realizes it's doing no good because Tom, who was a band geek in high school, loves that his boys are so popular. Tom ungrounds the twins and Lynette counters by suggesting that they take Tom's prized restored convertible to homecoming. Tom finally gets the message and comes down hard on the boys when they arrive half an hour past curfew.

The women of Wisteria Lane are astonished to see that Edie's back -- and that she's married! Her new husband, Dave, seems to have done wonders for Edie, who is now civil to the women who once threw her out of the neighborhood. Lynette proposes they throw a party at the pizzeria for her return. Edie sees the party as their way of saying "sorry," for running her out of town, but flips when they tell her this is a "we forgive you," party and warn her not to return to her old ways. She complains to Dave, who says he wants her to be friends with these women because it'll be "easier." Edie complies, although she still doesn't understand why Dave was so determined for them to return to Wisteria Lane.

Jackson shows up to Edie's party and is about to tell Susan's friends about the two of them when Susan cuts the power. She explains she she can't be in a relationship, because of the accident five years ago. It wasn't Mike who was killed, but the occupants of the other car. Mike refused to feel guilty, even though he should have taken the car to a mechanic instead of fixing the brakes himself, but Susan can't let it go. She and Mike split up and are now sharing custody of their son, M.J. Jackson agrees to give Susan more time.

Later that night, Dave calls his doctor, whose care he's been under for a rage problem so severe it got him in legal trouble. Dave promises that he's no longer a threat to anyone, except for one person, he says as the camera roves over Wisteria Lane.

Jackson finally spends the night at Susan's because M.J. is away on a sleepover. When he goes out to get the morning paper dressed only in his robe, he runs into Mike, who insists on getting to know the man who's sleeping with his ex-wife. If he doesn't approve, Mike threatens to alter his custody agreement with Susan. Things look great when Mike takes a shine to Jackson but Susan is horrified when she realizes that they talked about what she likes in bed and forbids Jackson to hang out with Mike again. She's afraid that Mike will poison Jackson's attitude towards her, giving how ugly their divorce got, but he assures her he's not holding any grudges, so she relents and lets them be friends.

Orson objects when Bree is billed as "Mrs. Van de Kamp" on her new book, instead of as "Mrs. Hodge." He's horirbly upset when she says there's "no Mr. Van de Kamp" during a radio interview but doesn't happen to mention that there's a Mr. Hodge. She offers to make it up to him by cooking a pot roast but completely forgets about it when an interview runs late. He insists she cook him one, even though it's after midnight, and she complies, crying.

Lynette decides the only way to talk to moody teen Porter is via a networking site called Silverfizz, so she signs up and invents an alter ego, Sarah J. The two are soon chatting avidly about poetry, but things take an unexpected turn when Porter develops a crush on what he thinks is a 16-year-old girl. The jig is up when she writes him a "Dear John" note and accidentally signs it "Love, Mom." She tells him she misses the times when they used to talk and he insists he wasn't talking to her online, but to Sarah.

Carlos takes a job as a masseur at the country club, so Bree feels it's inappropriate for him and Gabrielle to attend a party she's catering for the country club set. Gabby doesn't want to miss the party season, so she shows up anyway and is horrified when they're kicked out for not being on the guest list. She's devastated at "losing everything" but Carlos tells her he's happier than his rich clients are and wishes she would feel the same.

Dave Williams tries to be the most resourceful neighbor Wisteria Lane has ever seen, but it might all be for naught because Edie insists on moving after Karen insulted her. Dave asks Karen to apologize but she says she'd have to hear it from Edie. She reconsiders when her cat goes missing and Dave offers to help find him. Toby mysteriously turns up after Karen makes the required apology, prompting Karen to do some research on Dave.

It's taken three years for Bree to convince Danielle to let her son Benjamin, now six, visit. She tries not to be critical, but can't hold her tongue when Benjamin calls Danielle by her first name. "I certainly hope he won't call me Bree," she says and Danielle assures her, "Don't worry. I told him to call you Granny."

Bree is horrified to learn that Benjamin's been raised vegetarian and convinces him to try a hot dog. Benjamin becomes violently ill and when the truth comes out, Danielle announces they're leaving. Orson blames Bree for driving Danielle away -- and for not fighting harder to keep Benjamin in the first place.

Susan's son, MJ, is being bullied on the playground, but he won't say by whom. Mike plans to teach him how to fight but when the bully turns out to be Juanita Solis, Mike demurs, saying, "If it wears a skirt, it's off limits," even though Susan insists, "She could take down a small deer!" Susan complains to Gaby, but the conversation quickly turns to name calling. After Juanita pushes MJ, Susan pushes her back and soon Gaby and Susan are in a full-on shoving match. They finally reconcile over a bottle of booze and admit they're both clueless when it comes to parenting.

Gabrielle loses her last bit of luxury when she's forced to sell their sports car for far less than it's worth -- to someone who's buying it for their nanny. She buys Andrew's old car, but it dies on her almost immediately, thanks to a cracked radiator. She insists he pay for the repair but he says he warned her it was crap and that it's not his problem. Emboldened by Susan's urging her to "Get mad more often," Gabrielle threatens to hit Andrew's new car unless he pays up, and he does.

Dave invites Tom, who's reluctantly getting rid of his prized guitar, to start a band with him. Lynette's against the idea and manages to have the guitar destroyed "accidentally." Dave talks Lynette into accepting a replacement guitar by stressing what other "midlife crisis" things Tom might do if he's not allowed the outlet of playing in a band.

Karen's questions about Dave get to Edie, who realizes she doesn't know much about her husband. At a party, she pushes him to reveal where he went to college. He tells her he didn't and that that deeply embarresses him. When he realizes who's to blame for her inquisitiveness, he recalls his own grandmother's paranoid dementia, saying ominously, "I just hope that doesn't happen to Karen."

Thanks for these they sound like really good spoilers :D I can't believe its set 5 years in the future its going to be so wierd...lol

I am so conufsed about this! The current series on Channel 4 is only jsut finishing... is there a new season straight away on Sunday then?? :confused:

I think it's because of the writers strike.

Yes, the writers' strike meant that a lot of these series had to break for longer then the traditional American mid-series break (I think they usually don't transmit the programme for 4 weeks) but obviously, the writers' strike at the beginning of last year meant that they had to suspend filming, as they start filming the series before the script is completely written. Also, a lot of actors and film crew were striking in solidarity with the writers.

Sorry, I am waffling now!

Anyway, the spoilers look excellent - So Mike and Susan have split - I wonder why?

During parent night at school, Mike is upset when he barely figures in MJ's drawing of his family: "That little bug with a hat on, that's me?" He buys his son a new bike but then doesn't have time to teach MJ how to ride. Mike is finally on his way over to show MJ the basics, but Susan realizes that MJ's already had Jackson, who's around a lot more, teach him. She orders MJ to fake a few spills to convince his dad he's a beginner and MJ ends up with a sprained arm. At the hospital, MJ admits he fell on purpose and Susan tells Mike that being divorced means that each one of them will miss important moments in their son's life.


When Bree's cookbook comes out, her friends are not-so-secretly jealous. Lynette sees this as her big chance to get back into marketing and comes up with a whole "jazzy" ad campaign, which Bree politely declines.

Lynette is even more upset when she realizes that her old assistant is the one handling Bree's account. At the luncheon to celebrate Bree's being named Businesswoman of the Year, Lynette drunkenly tries to offer some unasked-for advice so Bree asks her to leave. Bree admits that all her success has come at a high cost if it means losing her friends and possibly her husband and Lynette assures her. "All your friends are proud of you. Bitterly jealous, but proud."

Bree discovers that Orson has been fired from his post-prison job. Finding no luck in landing a new position, he suggests that she hire him, an idea that doesn't sit well with Katherine, who threatens to cut Bree with the scissors she's using to arrange flowers. Katherine tries to talk Orson out of the idea, describing what Bree's like as a boss: "Bitchy, tyrannical, shrill!"

Bree suggests they revisit the idea in a month but Orson decides to move into the guest bedroom and to skip her luncheon. He finally moves back in when she offers him the gift of a chef's hat -- and a partnership in her business.

Gaby is desperate for more sex with Carlos, so she arranges an afternoon playdate for Juanita. Unfortunately, Juanita comes home early and catches them in bed. When Juanita blurts out her newfound sex education to her friend, the playdates are abruptly canceled. "I guess it's back to the old schedule of ten minutes of grope and snore at midnight," Carlos sighs. Gaby insists that parents need "playdates" too and convinces the friend's parents to reconsider.

Edie asks Dave to buy a now-empty house on the block so they can rent it out. "My friend Mary Alice blew her brains out in this house. I let that slip and we can get it for a song." She's shocked when Dave refuses and even more so when he yells at her.

The house comes in handy when Dave realizes that Mike's only reason for refusing to join his and Tom's garage band is the time he spends commuting to his current place. Mike can't afford the rent on Wisteria Lane, but Dave buys the house -- as a present to Edie -- and gives Mike a fantastic deal on the rent. He insists that no one, especially Mike, know that he and Edie are the landlords.

Episode 5.05: Mirror, Mirror
Airdate: October 26, 2008

10/07 - We learn what has transpired on Wisteria Lane in the past five years. Driven by a hidden agenda, Dave convinces Susan to throw Mrs. McCluskey a surprise party for her 70th birthday; Jackson wants to take his relationship with Susan to the next level; Gaby's concerned she might be pregnant; Tom tells Lynette he's sold the pizzeria; a startling reason for the bond between Bree and Katherine is revealed; and an outraged Mrs. McCluskey has the entire neighborhood questioning her sanity. Source: ABC
09/28 - The October 26 episode, set around a 70th birthday gathering Dave throws for McCluskey, will consist almost entirely of flashbacks. "As each of the ladies gets ready for the party, they remember key events that happened during the five years," [Marc] Cherry says. "It's an important episode that will explain a lot about why these women have changed." Source: TV Guide
09/09 - There is a party on Wisteria Lane. At the event, something happens to McCluskey and she must leave the party in an ambulance. According to McCluskey, a man is trying to kill her because she knows what he's up to. Susan and Mike meet with a lawyer in order to sign divorce papers. Tom ends up at the hospital after getting a massive electric shock while working on an electric panel at the restaurant. Source: SpoilerFix.com
08/26 - Mrs. McCluskey thinks someone is trying to kill her for being her natural busybody self. Later this season, Tom Scavo is in for a shocking surprise-and the hospital. Source: Kristin on E!Online


Episode 5.06: There's Always a Woman
Airdate: November 2, 2008

10/12 - Gaby is over the moon when Carlos' client makes them an offer they can't refuse, but a startling discovery leaves her second guessing; Lynette grows suspicious that Tom is cheating on her; and after breaking up with Jackson, Susan tries to surprise him, only to find the surprise is on her. Meanwhile, the bond between Bree and Katherine grows, and Mrs. McCluskey enlists the help of her sister to dig up dirt on Dave. Source: ABC


Episode 5.07: What More Do I Need
Airdate: November 9, 2008

09/28 - Charlie: An 18-year-old Caucasian employee, he is caught stealing from his employers. Unrepentant, he later tries to blackmail them with a secret tape. Eleanor Garrett: 40ish, Eleanor is the PTA president at Lynette's school. Brandon: 40s - 50, the uniformed butler of a very rich woman, Brandon is not too thrilled to be serving her freeloading guests. Secretary (Trish): A psychiatrist's secretary in her 30s. Source: SpoilerTV


Episode 5.08: City on Fire
Airdate: November 16, 2008

10/12 - Marc Cherry, the man behind the women of ABC's Desperate Housewives, just revealed some shocking news: Fairview will catch fire during November sweeps-and some won't survive the blaze. Marc spilled: "It's one of the biggest special-effects episodes we've ever done, actually more difficult than the tornado." [... The guys'] band plays a pivotal role in the fire disaster. Marc said: "We have a huge episode that we just started shooting where all my regulars go to see a garage band from the neighborhood play in a nightclub. The nightclub gets set on fire. It's connected to the mystery, and it's going to be a huge episode." Source: Kristin on E!Online
09/30 - Bouncer: A burly man in his 30's at the White Horse Club, he asks a teenager for his ID. Emcee: In his 30's - 40, this cool emcee at the rock club announces the bands in a competition. EMT: A man in his late 20's - late 30's, he wants to get an accident victim to the hospital. Fireman: A man in his late 20's - early 40's, he prohibits people from entering a burning building. Man: In his late 20's - mid 30's, this patron at the White Horse Club tells another patron to use the backstage men's room. Reporter: 30's - early 40's, this man/woman at the scene of an emergency interviews a man he/she considers a hero. Source: SpoilerTV
09/28 - Lloyd: A thrice-divorced college English professor/poet in his late 40s - early 50s, he is dating one of his (much younger) grad students much to the dismay of her mother (think a younger Michael Douglas from "Wonder Boys"...or John Hannah). Candice: An 18-year-old babysitter, she becomes alarmed when she notices that one of the kids is missing. Source: SpoilerTV


Episode 5.09: Title Unknown
Airdate: November 2008

10/12 - Peter: A good-looking gay plastic surgeon around 30, his boyfriend wants him to meet the family. Recurring. Dr. Basch: A middle-aged male surgeon, he has good news for his patient. Debby: A prudish middle-aged event coordinator for a Williams Sonoma-type store, she organizes a cooking demonstration for children. Denise: A sassy 9-10 year old girl, she is chosen from the small audience to take part in a cooking demonstration. Source: SpoilerTV

Dave suggests that Edie throw a party for Karen McCluskey's 70th birthday and that Susan host so it will be a surprise.

Gabrielle is alarmed that her period is late. We flash back to the first time she learned she was pregnant: The doctor proclaimed it a "miracle," and Carlos called it a "one-in-a-million shot" but Gaby wasn't so happy since neither had jobs at the time but Carlos convinced her she'd be a good mother. The second time Gaby got pregnant, she insisted Carlos get a vasectomy.

Just as they arrive at Susan's for the party, he blurts out the out the secret he's been keeping: "I never got a vasectomy!"

Jackson asks Susan if he can move in since he spends so much time at her house anyway. She remembers the day she met him, when she was newly separated from Mike and looking for a "change" by having her house painted. Months later, on the day she and Mike signed their divorce papers, she came home, incredibly depressed, and asked Jackson. "Do you like Scotch?" The two ended up in bed together but agreed that neither one of them was looking for something serious at the moment. "I gave romance a shot and I'm ready for something a little more casual," she said and Jackson was delighted to hear it, saying that such women were "an urban legend."

But now, just as the guests are starting to arrive, he tells her, "I've fallen in love with you."

Lynette remembers when Tom had a near-death accident at the restaurant which stopped his heart. He was okay, but suddenly went into full midlife crisis mode, including showing up with a red sports car. At the hospital, Lynette had promised him she'd help him find "more" to life, but she balks when he shows up with a brochure for an RV, along with a plan to take the kids out of school for a year and drive around the country. She asks, "Who's going to be running our restaurant while we're off doing the Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test?" On the way to Karen's party, he tells her he's going to sell the pizzeria -- and that he's already found a buyer.

Orson plans to announce that Bree has made him a partner at the party but she asks him not to tell anyone yet. We flash back to how she started drinking again after Orson went to jail. "My husband's gone, my son's gone," she tells Katherine when she realizes there's a problem, "I have nothing." Katherine advises her, "So you have a void in your life. Don't fill it with wine, fill it with work. Just think of the woman you could be by the time Orson gets back. " She promises Bree, "It'll be our secret," and that she is moving in to help her get sober.

Bree forbids Orson to tell anyone about the partnership and when he refuses, she tells him it was a mistake and that he's fired.


To her great joy, Gabrielle gets her period and Carlos admits he was still holding out hope for another child.

Tom calls Lynette a "buzzkill" and is upset that she doesn't "get it" that he's craving more out of life than making pizza. She reminds him, "Scavo's was the adventure. We changed our whole lives so you could live out your dream."

Furious that she's favoring Katherine over him, Orson asks Bree for a divorce, so she finally tells him why she owes Katherine so much. Orson thanks Katherine and tells her he won't mind earning a partnership, even if it takes two years. "Oh, honey, working for Bree, you won't last two months!" she smiles.

Susan tells Jackson it wouldn't bother her if he was with another woman so he grabs Katherine and kisses her. Jackson wants to know if he and Susan have a future together and when she tells him, "I don't want to think about the future," he breaks up with her.

A few days before Karen's birthday, Dave finds her going through his mail. He asks Edie if she's still "asking questions," and Edie assures him, "Prying is what people who are too old to have sex do to keep life interesting." When she mentions that Karen is turning 70, he suggests they throw her a party.

While Edie takes Karen out for her annual birthday drink, Dave sneaks into Karen's house and rearranges a few photos and mementos.

When she arrives at the party, everyone yells "Surprise," but they're surprised when she accuses Dave of breaking into her house and attacks the cake with a baseball bat. She tries to goes after Dave and they call 911. Before she's taken away in an ambulance, she tells Dave, "You're up to something, something awful." He admits that he planned the whole thing and says, "You don't know what awful is