Spoilers 03-07 March

Myra is hauled into the police station
March 3 2008

Calvin buys Carmel an engraved police whistle for becoming a PCSO. But a misunderstanding follows as Calvin drops to his knee and Carmel thinks Calvin is proposing. Overjoyed, Carmel accepts Calvin's offer of marriage. Confusion turning to blind panic, Calvin tries to back out of it, but as Carmel gushes, he realises he's now unwittingly and unintentionally engaged. A shell-shocked Calvin struggles to deal with his sudden betrothal and persuades Carmel to keep it to herself for a while. She reluctantly agrees but can't help herself and announces the engagement to her family. Meanwhile a fuming Niall insists Louise tell Carmel the truth when she discovers Calvin's intentions weren't sincere. Louise does, and Carmel is heartbroken.

The McQueens are divided over Carmel's passing out day as she finally becomes a PCSO. Determined to show how proud she is, Myra organises a party at Il Gnosh, but when Carmel expresses concern over Myra's fraudulent welfare cheque, Jacqui and Mercedes once again insist that Carmel has joined the 'other side'.

Later, as the party learn of Carmel and Calvin's 'engagement', Myra announces the double celebration to family and friends. But Myra's caught off guard when she's approached by fraud investigators from the Welfare Department. Taken to the police station for questioning, Mercedes and Jacqui admonish Carmel for calling the police. Protesting her innocence, Carmel is distraught, but the McQueens insist Carmel is a grass and doesn't belong in their family.

Gilly auctions his football programmes to get Beth tickets for a gig. Rhys's guilt is compounded when he realises the lengths Gilly will go to for her. Meanwhile, Beth's jealousy pangs as she eavesdrops on Rhys making a date with Mercedes. Finding Beth alone, Rhys is surprised when she asks him to break his date. Rhys is hesitant, knowing Mercedes will be livid if he stands her up. But when Beth pleads, Rhys relents, overcome by love and lust. Meanwhile, in the SU Bar, Mercedes is dressed for her date with Rhys, but feels like an idiot as it dawns on her she has been stood up. As Mercedes slumps back in her seat, it is clear she cares for Rhys a lot more than she's letting on.

Sasha starts her seventeenth birthday with a comedown. As Leo and Calvin shower her with gifts, all Sasha wants to do is hide away. Unable to reach Fletch on his mobile, Sasha is desperate for company from her boyfriend. When Val and Leo persuade her to go with them to Carmel's passing out party, Sasha reluctantly agrees but, sweating and pale, Sasha makes her way outside where she unloads her insides over a plant pot…


Niall attacks Nana McQueen
March 4 2008

Nana arrives back in Hollyoaks and promptly declares herself in charge of ferreting out the person who grassed on Myra. Tina can't believe Carmel would report their mother, but Mercedes, still sore over Rhys jilting her yesterday, puts all her energy into blaming Carmel for everything. Nana insists Carmel was a fool to get involved with a copper in the first place, never mind getting engaged to one.

When she finally reappears, Myra reveals to Tina and Nana that she's been charged with benefit fraud. Niall is disappointed at the leniency Myra has been shown, but tries not to show it. When Niall offers to take Nana for a drink, his confessions about his sad childhood encourage her to reveal a few secrets of her own, including the time she encouraged Myra to give up her first baby up. Later, a drunken Nana meanders home, unaware she is being followed until she's attacked by a vengeful Niall…

Rhys is wracked with jealousy as he watches Gilly and Beth make plans for their wedding and is forced to confess that he stood Mercedes up yesterday. Not wanting to show how hurt she is, Mercedes tries to play it cool when she runs into Rhys in the village, but agrees to a lunch date at Il Gnosh. But Mercedes is unimpressed as Gilly and Beth arrive and a clueless Gilly ignores Beth's advice to leave them alone.

In an attempt to salvage her date, Mercedes ignores them and flirts openly with Rhys – to the dismay of a jealous Beth. Later, Beth corners Rhys and sharply reminds him that his relationship with Mercedes is only supposed to be a cover. Rhys is left torn between his girlfriend and his sister.

Calvin wonders how to win Carmel back as she arrives to get her things. Calvin admits that although he made a mistake yesterday, it does not change how he feels about her. But Carmel accuses him of ruining the happiest day of her life. Calvin is devastated when Carmel insists she cannot be with him anymore. Meanwhile, Sasha finds Fletch at school and they agree to meet up later. Sasha's pleased and to compensate for missing her birthday, he produces a card.

Sasha's appeased until Fletch fails to meet her at lunchtime. Calvin finds her alone and they lament on their miserable lives. Calvin tries to reach out to Sasha, but she's defensive and turns the conversation back to Calvin advising him to propose properly to Carmel. Calvin rushes off to buy a ring, gets down on one knee and asks Carmel to marry him – for real this time…



Ste stoops to a new low
Wednesday, March 5 2008


The McQueen's rally around Nana, glad that she's still alive. Mercedes insists Carmel find out who attacked Nana, while still blaming her for grassing on their mum. A distressed Myra has her work cut out trying to mediate between the warring sisters. Niall is satisfied at seeing the results of his handiwork when he pays a visit but is annoyed that Calvin has found Myra a good lawyer to keep her out of jail. Niall is alone with Nana giving her a new hair-do to cover up her wounds when Nana asks him to keep secret about yesterday's conversation. Niall sees red, picks up a towel, and approaches Nana from behind – only to be interrupted by Carmel's arrival. When a scorned Carmel goes back to the Valentines' for the night, Niall comforts Myra, taking a grim satisfaction in the family falling apart.

A jealous Rhys is irritated as Beth and Gilly jokingly argue over their favourite song. When Rhys and Beth find themselves alone, Rhys is forced to admit that the thought of her sleeping with his best mate is driving him mad and there is a tender moment between them as they discuss their own favourite song. Interrupted by a call from Mercedes, Rhys appeases a jealous Beth with some kind words. Unable to deny their feelings for each other, Rhys cancels their date, pleading a pressing home decoration job. Taking courage from Nana's words, Mercedes decides to head over to the Ashworths' to surprise Rhys. As Beth and Rhys spend some time alone in the bedroom, Mercedes crashes in to the house, very nearly catching them in the act.

At the council flat, the electricity goes off as Amy, Ste and Leah are once again left in the dark. Ste tells Amy that he is going to do what every bloke should do – find a job and provide for his family. When a desperate Amy is forced to fish for spare change in the Jubilee fountain, a kind-hearted Gilly is moved to buy Amy some more electricity and groceries. Meanwhile, frustrated that he has got nowhere with his job search, Ste is unsure how to return home empty handed. When he notices Carmel drop her purse, he steals it but is forced to run when she sees him and gives chase. Carmel is relieved when Ste runs into John Paul and Kris as they apprehend him. Concerned about John Paul calling the police, Ste blurts out that he needed money for Leah. Carmel, John-Paul and Kris are aghast when Ste lies that Leah has leukaemia.

Kris pours scorn on John Paul's attempts to set up a Gay/Lesbian/Bisexual society and laughs it off as John Paul's way of recruiting fresh totty. Dismissing the proposed meeting as a lame attempt at pulling, Kris challenges John Paul to a contest, confirming that he doesn't need gimmicks to pull the boys. John Paul casually mentions that there's someone he already fancies but can't have. Kris is intrigued, but rises to the challenge when stunning Toby enters the bar. Throwing his shoulders back, Kris heads over – but determined not to be outdone, John Paul claims Toby for his own.



Amy learns of Ste's lie
Thursday, March 6 2008

Desperate to stop his lie from spreading round the village, Ste heads off to find Carmel. Frankie informs Ste she's not working and chides his abrupt manner. When a frustrated Ste hurries off, Frankie learns about Leah's leukaemia from Kris. Stunned and filled with compassion, Frankie puts her differences with Nancy aside and passes the terrible news to her. John Paul is sympathetic when Ste approaches him, but is too late to stop Kris from broadcasting his thoughts about leukaemia, and support for the Barnes' on the radio. Meanwhile, shocked that her friend knows nothing about her own niece's illness, Nancy is pained to be the one to break the news to Sarah. Desperate, Sarah goes to the flat where Amy learns of Ste's devastating lie…

John Paul tries to avoid Toby at all costs, averse to his camp behaviour. Fearing he's being stalked, John Paul begs Kris not to let Toby in at Halls. But Kris enjoys ribbing him about his recent conquest when a beaming Toby sweeps in with breakfast. When an uncomfortable John Paul tries to excuse himself, Toby promises to meet him later on. While Kris enjoys winding a fraught John Paul up, he offers sage advice that he has to be clear about the fact he doesn't want to see him again. However, when Toby later turns up for John Paul's meeting and showers John Paul with tactile attention, John Paul realises it's going to be more difficult than he first thought.

Rhys and Beth reel from the shock of their close shave with Mercedes yesterday. Rhys offers common sense and worries about the implications of being caught – losing his best friend and family and possibly ending up in prison. A sheepish Rhys admits to Gilly he has broken up with Mercedes after she caught him in bed with another girl. Beth is wracked with guilt as Gilly assures her he's different from Rhys and would never do anything like that to her. Deciding to win back Mercedes, Rhys meets with her in Il Gnosh and explains to her that he didn't think they were exclusive and that he wants a fresh start. Mercedes agrees there were some crossed wires – but retains her dignity by showing Rhys exactly what she thinks of him…

Frankie worries about Newt's growing relationship with Lauren and encourages Jack to have a man-to-man chat about sex. Keen to keep a close eye on them, she even agrees to Jack's suggestion to let Newt regularly invite Lauren over for tea. Jack finally manages to corner Newt, but ties himself up in knots. Newt happily informs a relieved Jack he has already studied sexual reproduction at school. When Newt tells Lauren about her invitation to tea, she is initially suspicious but agrees when she realises it'd be a good opportunity for them to mess with Frankie and Jack...



Kieron returns
Friday, March 7 2008

Amy resolves to tell the truth about Leah before things get out of hand. Ste begs her not to, but Amy is adamant she can't lie about her daughter being ill. Meeting Mike in the village, Amy finds herself soaking up her dad's sympathy, comforting her in a paternal, consoling hug. She is desperate to tell him the truth about but is unable to do so, fearful of the inevitable retribution. Terrified of going back to the detention centre, Ste decides to run away from Hollyoaks but finds he can't bring himself to leave Amy and Leah. Amy ponders on her next move when Warren approaches with an offer of money. Unable to resist, Amy takes the cheque and heads home. Mike arrives at the flat desperate to see his granddaughter, but Amy continues Ste's lie and reveals that Leah is very sick in hospital.

John Paul is thrilled when he gets a text message from Kieron saying he's on his way home. Kris pesters John Paul over his mystery man, but John Paul keeps quiet. Amused at Kris' persistence yet flatly refusing to give anything away, John Paul remains aloof. Knowing he's been given the brush off, Kris vows he's going to get to the bottom of John Paul's secret man. Later at the McQueens', Kris spies Kieron's postcard in John Paul's back pocket and a wrestling match ensues as John Paul tries to get it back. Kieron arrives while they are grappling on the floor, as John Paul awkwardly tries to explain the situation…

Sarah fumes with her dad for spending too much time with Zoe while Leah was sick. Mike defends his behaviour, but Sarah can't bear to see him fawn all over Zoe. Later, as Sarah and Nancy head to The Loft, Sarah's furious to see Zoe out on the town and demands she keep away from her family. Out of her depth with the warring Barnes, Zoe begins to wonder if her relationship is worth all the hassle…

Lauren and Newt are at cross-wires, each thinking the other wants to have sex. Newt worries about his expectations of her as Lauren fascinates with her notions of the perfect place to have sex. Lauren informs him she'll think of the location, if he gets the condoms. Newt's flummoxed and decides to try the condom machine in The Dog toilet. As an embarrassed Newt makes a pickle of the situation, Lauren reveals that she's decided they should have sex with each other tomorrow in the cemetery. Newt panics, but agrees to meet her there.