Spirit of summer

What do you call two straight days of rain in Ireland?
A weekend.

It only rains twice a year in Ireland:
August through April and May through July.

"I can't believe it," said the tourist. "I've been here an entire week and it's
done nothing but rain. When do you have summer here?"
"Well, that's hard to say," replied the local. "Last year, it was on a
Wednesday."

A curious fellow died one day and found himself in limbo waiting in a long, long
line for judgment. As he stood there, he noticed that some souls were
allowed to
march right through the gates of heaven. Others were led over to Satan, who
threw them into a lake of fire. Every so often, instead of hurling a poor soul
into the fire, Satan would toss him or her to one side.
After watching Satan do this several times, the fellow's curiosity got the
better of him. He strolled over and tapped Old Nick on the shoulder.
"Excuse me, there, Your Darkness," he said. "I'm waiting in line for judgment,
and I couldn't help wondering why you are tossing some people aside instead of
flinging them into the fires of hell with the others?"
"Ah," Satan said with a grin.
"Those are the Irish. I'm letting them dry out so they'll burn."

A newcomer to Ireland arrives on a rainy day. He gets up the next day and it's
raining. It also rains the day after that, and the day after that.
He goes out to lunch and sees a young kid and asks out of despair, "Hey kid,
does it ever stop raining around here?"
The kid says, "How do I know? I'm only 6."