Why Is Love Never Easy?

[angel-emm]

I have recently split up from my partner of over 7 years due to the fact that he was lazy and seemed to be using me so that he didn't have to work. Over the 7 years we have been together only about half of the time he has worked and because of this it started to cause agruements as all he seemed to do was play on line games and do hardly anything around the house. So about a month ago by mutual arrangement we split up even though I still loved him. The following week we hardly had any contact and the week after that I was away but whilst I was away he was texting me asking me to try again I stupidly said yes but we take it slowly. So when I came back I saw him a few times and stupidly slept with him and things were back to the way they were. One of his old friends came round this weekend with his supposed girlfriend and I didn't think anything of it until I went round on Monday evening and he was off with me and acting strange and he asked me to text him before I went round in future. I went round last night and there was no-one in and he had gone off on his bike so I phoned his friend and asked him out right what was going on as my partner's phone was switched off. I then found out that he was with this woman who was supposed to be seeing his friend and I am now confused as to how he can sleep with me and tell me he loves me and then next minute he's with another woman. I now feel stupid and used and like I'm rubbish why do men have to lie and why on earth did I agree to go back with him

[Perdita]

Aww, angel-emm, this sadly happens to many people all over the world. Because you still love him, you were prepared to give it another chance, there is nothing wrong with that. He is the one that is in the wrong. Don't feel bad about taking him back but learn from this experience and don't have anything else to do with him, he is not worth it. It will be hard at first but you will grow stronger every day, just don't accept phone calls or texts from him. That way he should get the message that he can't play with your emotions and cheat on you. All the best xxx

[angel-emm]

Thank you for your wise words cupid I'm just finding things hard at the moment and I am trying to be strong and not contact him but he doesn't know yet that I know about him and this other woman so I need to confront him about that xx

[Perdita]

Thank you for your wise words cupid I'm just finding things hard at the moment and I am trying to be strong and not contact him but he doesn't know yet that I know about him and this other woman so I need to confront him about that xx

Stay strong though, angel-emm, when you confront him, he might promise you all things and possibly lie about the other woman or make up an excuse. Should you wish to continue a relationship with him, you might want to take things very slow to start with, until he has proven to you that he has changed and that he is true to you. You are in a very difficult and vulnerable situation, don't let him exploit that. Take care xx

[angel-emm]

Thank you again cupid I am trying to be strong but its hard and I can't put myself through this again so I don't want to get back with him but I know I will find it hard saying it to his face xx

[Trinity]

Is it necessary to confront him? You know he is bad for you, you know he will lie and make excuses - he may even try to blame you!

There is strength in just walking away.

Our Perdy (Cupid) gives good advise as usual. There is no shame in wanting a relationship to work, but you have tried and realised that this relationship is not going to give you what you need. Love is a two way street, remember that you are worth more than a one way cul de sac.
Good luck.

[angel-emm]

Thank you Holly Trinity I did go and speak to him last night and surprise surprise he denied it and said I didn't know what I was talking about. I've since found out that he has supposed to have slept at this woman's house on Monday night.

[Abigail]

It is possible to sleep at a woman's house or in her bed and not have sex. Whether it's being unfaithful depends on your perception of it.

TBH, he doesn't seem like the kind of guy you should be wasting your time on. Remember why you broke up. Do you want to go back to him and the life you had or move on and find a guy who will treat you with respect?

[angel-emm]

Thank you Rudolph

I know him too well and he would have slept with her.

I'd love to find a guy like that but they all seem to be taken.

[Perdita]

angel-emm, although things do not look too bright for you at the moment, you can and will find a guy that treats you with respect, love and consideration, which is what a relationship is all about. You are a little too caught up at the moment to see clearly but once you have started to recover, you will gain confidence again and out of the blue, there will be somebody there for you. It will not be tomorrow or next week, maybe not even next month, you need to get over this guy first before you can give somebody else the same respect, love and consideration. But you will, believe in that. Every day the pain of your lost love will ease. Best wishes xx