Screaming Sister

[Kirsty :]]

Hope this is the right place..


Basically, my sister is what 3 1/2 months now and she has never really had a problem with being in a different environment.
However, last week we had her down ours for a bit and she started having a really big screaming fit. It was liek nothing I've ever heard before.
She didn't stop until my Mum had her.

Then the next day she had another screaming barmy in Somerfield when she was with my Mum and she's currently having another one downstairs with my Nan.

At first I thought it was me who was causing it because she seemed to cry when I had her. Thinking about it now though... I was thinking maybe she doesn't liek being around different people because she's so used to being a the house where it's quiet with my Mum... because they hardly ever take her out whcih I think is silly and she can't be kept inside all the time..She needs to get out and have fresh air and different surroundings.

I don't know what to make of it.. but I'm quite worried because it's just so out of character for her. :confused:

If anyone can shed any light on the situation would be sooo appreciated :)

[Chloe O'brien]

Maybe your right Kristy it's strange for a 3 year old to spend so much time indoors. Perhaps the next time you have her at your house you could have some colouring books and pencils for her to draw or video to watch. Something like what she would do at home if she was with your mum. If you do take her out to the park or shops make it short jorneys to begin with this will help her gain confidence, without the embarassement of her having a tantrum in public.

[Abigail]

^ She's three and a half months Kath.

It may be different surroundings and people that scare her. She needs to get out of the house more. Is there a reason why she is in the house so much?

[Chloe O'brien]

^ She's three and a half months Kath.

It may be different surroundings and people that scare her. She needs to get out of the house more. Is there a reason why she is in the house so much?

Sorry Abigail I read it wrong. I'll shut up and go and clean my specs. :rotfl:

[Abigail]

No problem. I didn't read your post properly until I got to the bit about colouring pencils. Then I wondered what a three months old would do with them :p

[Kirsty :]]

Don't worry.. gave me a giggle haha :lol:

That's the thing... there is no reason she's always in the house.
My Mum is just really over protective and it's either too hot or too cold to take her out.
I used to take her out alot like with me to town... she'd soon nod off but she'd be getting the fresh air she needs.
But with her screaming so much I wouldn't be able to cope if I took her places.
I think maybe I should get my Nan to have her down ours more even if it's jsut for an hour because we're having her for 2 nights next week because my Mum and Dad are going to Tenby for my Mums birthday... and so she needs to get used to our surroundings and way of life too.

Am I right? Or am I completely wrong??
Deary me.

I don;t want her growing up not wanting to go anywhere because she doesn't liek the surroundings and that. She would jsut not even have a childhood. :/

[Abigail]

You're right, she needs to get used to other people's presence and being away from her parents. There's nothing worse than a clingy child who won't go anywhere unless accompanied by a parent.

Was your mum like this with you?

[Kirsty :]]

Definately.
Um.. I can't remember. I was a baby. Haha no.. I'm not sure because well.. my Mum was 16/17 when I was born so we all lived under one roof with my Nan and Granch and so I think they took care of me more.
I don;t think it was the same with me though because my Nan is all for getting out in the fresh air.
Think I may go speak to my Nan about it and see what solution there may be.
Thankyou for all your help :D

[Chloe O'brien]

Apart from getting used to different surroundings and family members. It's not good for a baby's health to be cooped up indoors all day. They need to be out in the fresh air every day even if it's just a walk to the shops and back, otherwise she is going to be catching the cold or other germs when your mum does take her out as her immune system will be sensitive to the change in weather conditions. It will also prevent your sister from becoming clingy. If she is used to other family members from a young age then she will be more confident in staying with you or you Gran if your parents need a babysitter.

[Kirsty :]]

I completely agree. Thing is.. my Mum does take her out in her pram almost everyday.. but it's only to the hsops. Its only once in a blue moon she goes out on a proper walk with them.

[Chloe O'brien]

Does she sleep well between feeds.When Marley was a baby she only woke ever 4 hours to be fed and was sleeping during the night at 10 weeks old. Once I fed her and changed her I used to go away for walks with the dog or do the shopping, or visit family members to get her used to family members.

[Kirsty :]]

She sleeps int he day after her feeds but she doesn't sleep in the night for my Mum... but she's fine for my Nan and sleeps from like 11 until 5 and then until 9 or something.
I genuinely believe the reason for that is because she's in a routine down ours. She's fed then changed and played with and she's alwasy out walking with us, and she jsut drops off.

I also think that I should go over my Mums alot more.. because she cries everytime I have her, and it really upsets me (silly I know) but she probably forgets who I am.. and that's not good either.

[Abigail]

How often do you see your sister?

[Kirsty :]]

Almost everyday... I usually spend the whole day over there on a Sunday and I was over there most of the day yesterday... and I noticed that she was uneasy at first but after a while she warmed to me.

[di marco]

i think she definitely needs to go out the house more and get used to different places and people. as you said, you dont want her growing up scared of going anywhere. my mums friends little boy always used to be scared of everything, if you took him on a train he screamed the whole journey (even though he liked trains apparently), anywhere new they went on the bus hed scream, take him to the cinema hed scream etc. hes got over it now, but it was so embarrassing for my mums friend cos she had to constently get off the train/bus and not go where she was going. im not sure why he was like that, i dunno if he was taken places as a baby i cant remember, but if she gets used to places now hopefully your sis will get used to them. its probably less embarrassing and easier to deal with a 3month baby screaming than it would be in a few years time taking out a 3yr old who screamed everywhere she went

[Jojo]

I hope no one takes this the wrong way, but this baby is 3 1/2 months old! Needs to get used to new people, needs to get out more - erm, shes a baby who has been all snug in her mums tum until 3 months ago when she was born, into a huge strange world. She needs nuturing, needs to feel protected, safe and secure! Babys can pick up on tension, pick up on people being anxious etc, which can make them cry even more. If they are crying, there is something wrong. Baby's don't cry at 3 1/2 months for no reason! 3 1/2 yrs, maybe.

What are you doing when she starts crying? What would be your typical day with her when she is like this? It might help then to work out why she is so upset, bar not being with her mum. Even if she had a blanket or something that smelt of mum could help, as the smell helps to calm them.

[Kirsty :]]

Jojo any comments are seriously welcome.. because even I can see it's wrong for this to be happening. I took her out for a walk Monday but as soon as she got to my Nans she screamed sooo much to the point I had to take her back to my Mums because April crying made my other baby cousin cry who was there too, she's getting like it with my Dad too. I've spoke to both my Nan and my Mum and they both see that it's not normal... but I feel like I'm the only one who wants to try and sort it out, and I've told them they need to help because it won't solve itself.
I just don't have a clue what to do.. maybe if I saw her for a longer time everyday she would get used to me alot more and maybe then if she came down to my Nans she would feel ok with it because I was there?

Um, when she starts crying the first thing I do is pick her up, but then I know it's going to get worse so I'm obviously panicking and so she's picking up on that as you said Jojo, and then I dunno, try rocking her back and forth to calm her down and give her her dummy.. but she never has any of that. Then as soon as she's given to my Mum she's fine.

I babysat her for an hour the other day. She was asleep but then woke up and realsied I was at my Mums with her so she started crying again. But then I fed her and she was still grizzly after that but then I started speaking to her more and calmed down and I don't know.. it was as if she warmed to me and she was fine after that.

[Siobhan]

Only thing I can say is that my son use to cry every time I left the room regardless of who was with him, his dad, my mum. He would cry and cry all day and I was exhausted. I switched his formula food to a comfort food and he stopped.. he slept well, he reacted betters to others and I was able to put him into a creche without the hysterics. He started at birth and continue to 18 weeks so around your sisters age now.. but it was really really hard on me and my family cause he cried like someone slapped him... I went to the District nurse who recommended the change in food to me

[Kirsty :]]

It's putting stress on everyone which is obvious. My Nan is convinced the baby hates her, my Mum is worn out because she ends up doing everything 1 handed or not at all in the house. I hate it when she cries because it sounds horrible and it just breaks my heart to see her crying like that.

[Siobhan]

;589402']It's putting stress on everyone which is obvious. My Nan is convinced the baby hates her, my Mum is worn out because she ends up doing everything 1 handed or not at all in the house. I hate it when she cries because it sounds horrible and it just breaks my heart to see her crying like that.

I know.. as I said I have been there and I know your mother is probably feeling like the worst mother ever that she can't comfort her own child and stop the crying.. I was like that.. plus it is so so exhausting, you can't sleep and you constantly feel drained..

Your mum is very lucky to have you, you seem to want to help as much as you can and that is great..

[Kirsty :]]

I'm sure there's probably alot more I can do to help but somethings better than nothing right?

Thankyou very much everyone for your advice, and Siobhan I'll let my Mum know about the comfort milk because I really think that would help alot! :)

[Abigail]

Does your mum have a health visitor? Maybe she could suggest something.

[Kirsty :]]

I don't think she does now.. she did but I haven't heard of her coming to the house lately.
My Mum has started bringing the baby down to my Nans for a few hours in the days recently, it's seeming to have a bit of an effect... but only on the surroundings part, not on actually being away from my Mum...
One thing I can say is that well... I'm waiting until I'm most definately older and wiser before I start having kids! :lol:

[Jojo]

Kirsty - your mum will still have a Health Visitor. You have one assigned from birth until they start school.

I would definitely get your mum to go and seek some advice - they don't come to your house, you have to go to the clinic and go and see them.

Siobhan could be right - it could be the feed she is on, but again, it could just be that she is still so young that she only wants to be with your mum.