Stressed Out!!

[CrazyLea]

Didn't know where to put this so I put it here lol..

I am really stressed out at the moment! College is just getting on top of me a bit. I'm usually really laid back with work and stuff (all my teachers/lecturers have said - kind of in a bad way they say it), but these past few months I've been so stressed, I don't really know why. Only I don't show/say it. I've got LOADS of assignments to do in THREE weeks, and I really think I'm going to fail! I know I shouldn't have left it all til the last minute, but that's just me I always do. I've gotten to the point where I actually can't be bothered to do work. I start, then after like half an hour, or if I get stuck, I just leave it!

Because I'm stressed I get really moody with my mates sometimes, the slightest thing will set me off, then they get really annoyed, and that makes me even more annoyed and stressed. I've even fallen out with a few mates a few times! I been smoking more, drinking more, as said, getting more angry! Not always with the anger, but a lot more than I used to, I do still have a laugh with my mates and stuff. But I don't know what to do :crying: < That's what I feel like doing sometimes lol! But I can't. It's there, but won't come out lol!

I'm also getting really stressed because of money! I get money, then it's gone within like 2 days!!!!

What should I do?? I just want this academic year to end :crying:. But I don't want to fail either!!!

Sorry for the huge rant :(.

[Abbie]

I think you need to deal with one thing at a time. Which assingment needs more attention or handed in first?

[CrazyLea]

All of the deadlines for them have passed! I got one due in tomorrow *last deadline so she says, probs won't be*. Then Welsh Bac needs to be in Weds! Marketing has to be in Thurs (think I'm getting on top of that one though). Another one had to be in last week, and now my tutor is off ill, so won't be able to give it to her! Work Exp and Cust Serv has to be in in 1/2 weeks I think! Key Skills tomorrow!!!

[Tannie]

Right i know how you feel althrough i don't smoke or drink. But i do have a go at my friend's but i discuss it with them (the problem that's made me all stressy and annoyed) and they accept it cause to be honest there's nothing they can do.

Don't bottle thing's up i've learnd not to bottle thing's up cause they will be come out sooner or later. You tried: Taking deep breaths, Putting all your thoughts onto paper, or watching something to maybe try unwind.

Anger can be helped several ways: Stress ball, Punching pillow now WALL!, Screaming into pillow, Going for a walk or out the back for a bit for some fresh air without the cigarettes!.

Assignments you should just try and concentrate as best as you can, and althrough you've left it this late i don't think you're going to fail, you just need faith in yourself hun, and if i can have it in you then you can have it in yourself i'm sure.

Money - Unfortenatly no comment cause i have money and then it's gone but maybe only spending a certain amount of money per day/week and stick to you so you don't run out that quickly.

Hope that helps hun and i'm always here for you if you need me :)x

[StarsOfCCTV]

- Your just like me with work lol, you just need to set aside a bit of time e.g. a couple of hours a night to work on your assignments - try to do the harder one's first because they take longer.

- With your money you should open another bank account, put half the money you earn in a savings account that you don't let yourself touch or something like that :)

[CrazyLea]

Thanks, about the bottling things up, I find it really hard to talk to people in person - on here is fine, don't know why. I don't think I've EVER told a mate/lecturer/family member a problem that I've had. It just makes me uncomfortable!

I'll try the putting thoughts onto a piece of paper, that might be a kind of release thing. I dunno.

[Abigail]

Talk to your lecturers and explain that you feel very stressed at the moment with one thing and another (you don't have to say why). See if you can come to an agreement about deadlines and what extra help they can give you with your work, if you feel you need it.

I can't tell people about my problems in person. I can do it online where I don't know people personally. It's usually pretty obvious when I'm hiding something that I don't want to talk about so that's another reason why I feel uncomfortable talking to people, they always want to know.

Diary is good, that helped me a lot when I was having problems a few years back, as did the alcohol. Looking back I can see that drinking made my problems worse and also created more. I'm not saying quit the drinking but don't let it get to the point where you're relying on the booze to get over a bad day or something.

[CrazyLea]

Hmm I'll try speak to a lecturer.. the only one's that I'd actually consider speaking to about something like this are ill though! So AHH.

I'm rubbish with actual diarys, I never know what to write in them.

Don't think I'm relying on drink... yet.. but on average... out of 7 days I probably drink at least one glass of something ike 6 of them!!! That sounds bad to me, but I dunno what it sounds like to others?

[Abigail]

I don't drink at all now (except when I go out) but I used to drink a lot. I'd drink two litres of cider in a night or a bottle of vodka or wine. Whatever I could find really. I only did that on weekends though.

I'm not sure if drinking almost every night is good or bad. Watch how much you're drinking though; more than 14 units per week for women isn't a good idea.

About the diary. I just used to write about my day, how stressed/upset/angry etc I was and why. I also wrote what made me smile, just general things that had happened.

[DaVeyWaVey]

I do know how you feel Lea. I think you should really confide in someone you know and who you can trust in person - maybe your college tutor? Tell them how your feeling and they may be understanding about it and possibly set you an extension or be leniant and more caring towards you..

Also, try and get yourself really organised. Write out a day to day rota, writing down what needs to be doing and by when, so then you've set yourself a routine for the day. Try and stick to it as best you can and then maybe reward yourself with a drink afterwards, but don't overdo it! A drink or a smoke can help calm nerves, but overdoing it with alcohol or cigarettes won't help you in the long run..so be careful not to overdo it. :)

[Kirsty :]]

This may sounds completely stupid and like weird.. please don;t take offence at all to it!
Wherever you study and do work... is it messy?
I find when my rooms a mess I can't concentrate at all.. and as soon as I tidy it my head is clear and I can work alot better.
Also, make a list of every assignment/piece of work you ahve to do and write the deadline next to it... then decide which order to complete work in and cross it off as you go.. I find that helps too.
I do Welsh Bacc too (however, for me it is compulsory) since it is compulsory I leave that until last and make sure all ym mainstream work is done first (although I am liek you and do work last minute)
However, if Welsh Bac was an option you chose I suggest you don't leave it until last :)

With the money... set a limit on money each day. Write a list of what you actually need.. and what are just wants. Then buy the necessities first and if there is any leftover money in the day.. try to save it if you can.. that way you may always have spare cash. Also, remember to keep track of your money.. write down everything you buy in a day and how much it was... that why you will know where every penny has gone and where most of it dissapears too.. that way you can work out how to cut back on what most money is going on.

Sorry I rambled and I hope this is of some help.... :)

[CrazyLea]

I really do want to talk to a lecturer. I wish my tutor was in but, I think I could talk to a different one. Just need to find the courage.. what should I say?
Just that I'm really stressed out with college? What if because I'm stressed out this year, she thinks that I'd be too stressed to do next year too?

[CrazyLea]

Welsh Bac is compulsary for me too.
No I tend to do my work at the computer.. but the computer is in the lounge... where the tv is.. that might distract me? And in college my mates are always there with me, so I tend to get distracted by them (not their fault).

Thanks for the money tip, that's a good idea... writing down what I spend it on.

Thanks to all by the way. xxxxx

[Kirsty :]]

Yeah I find telly distracting too... but what helps is not turning it on... not even looking at it even if it means jsut playing music but I try not to do that either. Aw yeah no I agree with the friends part. It happens to me too. I don't think there's alot you can do about that rather than maybe going to the computer room when they ahve lectures if that's possible?

[CrazyLea]

Last Thursday I did manage to stay on my own in a classroom when everyone else was somewhere else, because I was already logged on to the computer, and I did actually manage to get a whole task done! So I might try doing that again this Thursday. Though tomorrow I'm gonna try speak to my lecturer so hopefully she'll understand and I can go out of class or something and go to the computer suite on my own.

[Abigail]

I really do want to talk to a lecturer. I wish my tutor was in but, I think I could talk to a different one. Just need to find the courage.. what should I say?
Just that I'm really stressed out with college? What if because I'm stressed out this year, she thinks that I'd be too stressed to do next year too?

At the end of a lesson ask if you can have a word or if you can make an appointment to see her in one of your free periods. Tell her that you're feeling stressed and want to get a few things off your chest.

Stress is natural, especially when exams are going on and there's lots of coursework to be done. I really don't think that she'd say you shouldn't continue next year on the basis of stress at the moment.

[CrazyLea]

I was thinking.. maybe if I send an email, saying what you just said Abigail, then she will say yeah you can talk to me.. I just really, really don't know if I can voice it. I am really rather shy on my own. :(.

*Breathes in*. Well I'm gonna either email my lecturer tomorrow, or speak to her in the morning.. because I have a lecture at 10, and that lecturer is going to go mad because I haven't done the work. So hopefully catch the other lecturer before that..

OH so confusing! I don't want my mates to know either! So going to make the excuse that it's about work!

Well I'm off to bed now, but thanks for everyone's advice so far. It is really helping. xxxxx

[Abigail]

Send her an email before the lesson then hopefully she'll read it and know that you want to talk to her afterwards.

I hope tomorrow goes ok and your 10am lecturer is ill :lol:

[CrazyLea]

:rotfl: I hope she is too.. but she's never ill GRRR!!! :p.

[Perdita]

All the best for today x

[Chloe O'brien]

Lea I can Sympathise with you. I have been there, first thing to do is talk to your tutor I know it can be hard to ask for help but they will give you all the support you need. Then write down the list of assessments you still have to do this will help you priorities your workload. Our students offically finish on Friday but the tutors are still available for another two weeks so even if you do miss the deadline you may still be able to complete all the assessments.

Also speak to the student support team they can help you set out a structure for studying by setting yourself a two-hour study time this could either be in the college liabary or at home, word of warning though if you are studying at home turn off the TV to avoid distraction.

Good luck you will get through this just don't bottle things up.

[Trinity]

When it comes to priorities your work try the following:

Try to do only one thing at a time.

(It is so easy to start to do something and then to let thoughts of all the other things that need to be done stress you out. When this happens, take 10 really deep breaths, in through your nose and out slowly through your mouth - close your eyes and when you have finished open your eyes and concentrate on the ONE task you have set yourself. Don't think ahead.)

Try to do the thing you hate/worry about/fear first.

(Once this is out of the way you can relax a little when you are doing the other tasks)

Try to fit in some exercise - a 20 minute walk even. Exercise clears the mind and fights stress.

Good luck!

[CHARITY]

Maybe you should go to a thearpist, i have been thinking about it myself, sometimes really stressed i am never on time always thirty minutes light. Belive me honey you are not ther only one who is really stressed out!....

[CrazyLea]

Thanks guys. I chickened out of talking to my lecturer today haha. Will try again tomorrow maybe.

I like your idea of doing the thing that I'm worried about first. Think I might try that. Only thing is I kinda need powerpoint, but I suppose I can do it on word and then just copy and paste.

Found out today that we have another test!!! Only told us today! Have to memorise loads of places in the UK and place them on a map! Like rivers, mountains, coastal resorts, airports, etc.... AH!

[Katy]

hope you get everything sorted soon. I'm sure you will. It is always stressful and it makes it worse being at this time of year as well.

Hope the test goes well. I wish i could offer some more advice but i dont really know what to say/

[Abigail]

I like your idea of doing the thing that I'm worried about first. Think I might try that. Only thing is I kinda need powerpoint, but I suppose I can do it on word and then just copy and paste.

You can download Open Office. It's a free (and legal) version of office and includes power point. I'll pm you the link.

[Jessie Wallace]

You ypm me the link too please, i really need a copy of power point, i've got a viewer, but need the actual programme.

[Jojo]

If you google Open Office its very easy to find. Its a brilliant program that also allows you to convert files to PDF if required, which I find an absolutely sinch for work etc.

How are you feeling Lea? You know what we were talking about the other night - its all sorted - come find me, anytime etc - you know where I am hun x x

[CrazyLea]

I'm quite offended/annoyed today :p.

I was reading my horoscope today.. as ya do (don't believe it, but read it anyway).. and it said something about me getting a makeover... and 2 of my mates said.. " How funny! We were saying yesterday how we'd like to give you a makeover!!" ... ??!?!?!? What's that supposed to mean?? My one mate has a really expressive face, and I know what she was saying...
Just because I don't wear make up, not the prettiest, not the thinnest and don't wear the most fashionable clothes in the world, is there any need?? Whatever happened to comfort and "there's more to life that looks". Maybe I'm over reacting, but so what. I found it offensive tbh.

[Debs]

I'm quite offended/annoyed today :p.

I was reading my horoscope today.. as ya do (don't believe it, but read it anyway).. and it said something about me getting a makeover... and 2 of my mates said.. " How funny! We were saying yesterday how we'd like to give you a makeover!!" ... ??!?!?!? What's that supposed to mean?? My one mate has a really expressive face, and I know what she was saying...
Just because I don't wear make up, not the prettiest, not the thinnest and don't wear the most fashionable clothes in the world, is there any need?? Whatever happened to comfort and "there's more to life that looks". Maybe I'm over reacting, but so what. I found it offensive tbh.


well ive seen many pics of you and i think you are GOORGESSSS, make up or no make up! at least you dont hide behind tons of caked on slap!

You are you hun why on earth would you ( you gorgeuos thing you :D ) need a makeover, tell them to go book themselves one!!

[CrazyLea]

:lol: Thanks hun :D. Didn't say that to get sympathy or anything btw if anyone was wondering :lol:. Just stating how annoyed I am. Even if I maybe do need a makeover, why say it behind my back? Biatches!!!! Sorry! Why would I want to dress up for college anyway? I had a good mind to go shopping tomorrow, buying loads of really nice clothes, some make-up and going to college on Monday in them.. make them feel bad for it.. but then I thought MEH why?

Thanks Debsy though. Make me feel all warm and fuzzy :lol:.

[Debs]

:lol: Thanks hun :D. Didn't say that to get sympathy or anything btw if anyone was wondering :lol:. Just stating how annoyed I am. Even if I maybe do need a makeover, why say it behind my back? Biatches!!!! Sorry! Why would I want to dress up for college anyway? I had a good mind to go shopping tomorrow, buying loads of really nice clothes, some make-up and going to college on Monday in them.. make them feel bad for it.. but then I thought MEH why?

Thanks Debsy though. Make me feel all warm and fuzzy :lol:.

:lol: oooo errrr im not sure if thats a good thing :lol:

dont change just for them, they dont knwo what they are talking about! I dont do make up either, i cant be bothered with all that faff in the morning!

[Abigail]

There's a lass that goes to my sixth form. Everyday she turns up in ugg boots (even when it's boiling) with her white jeans tucked in. Her hair is bleach blonde, she wears the wrong shade of foundation so she looks like she's been permatanned and the thickest eyeliner and mascara humanly possible. She looks like a propper slapper.

If that's what wearing makeup and fashionable clothes does to you, I don't want any of it.

It's their problem if they're so shallow to think that you NEED a makeover.

[Chloe O'brien]

Lea you don't need to hide behind a face caked with make-up to make you look beautiful you are naturally beautiful and those so-call mates are jelous of you. Take what they say with a pinch of salt don't let them upset you.

[DaVeyWaVey]

Looking natural is always the best. :) There is no point in masking the real you with make up. I wouldn't listen to your mates Lea. Be proud of your natural look and the real you!

[Perdita]

Some people get very influenced by the media though where we get told we (usually the ladies) must be slim and attractive to be successful in life and then we get shown all the bits and pieces that can help us be this successful person, ie slimming aids, mascara and lippy adverts etc. You never see a man in an advert for slimming aides, do you? If you feel confident to show your natural beauty, which we all have, then don't feel pressured to change that but wearing make up or a certain fashion does not make you look a slapper imo.

[Jojo]

Lea - totally agree with what everyone has said already. You don't need a makeover - you are naturally gorgeous and maybe your mates need to give themselves a make over very soon - personality ones!!

x x x