View Full Version : Counselling?
Xx-Vicky-xX
04-04-2008, 17:49
I think this is the correct place
Anyone had conselling? or know anyone who has? Did it help? Is it worth while? just general help with this would be appreciated
Thank you
xx
I saw a psychologist at CAMHS in 2006/7. It didn't work for me because I wasn't ready to talk about why I was there. I didn't really want to go in the first place, it was my parents and doctor who thought I needed to go.
It does work for some people but you need to be at the stage where you can talk about whatever you're gettting help for.
There are lots of different types of therapy. If/when you decide to go, the person you see will decide which form of therapy would most suit you.
The waiting lists are very long if you go through your GP. I was referred by a hospital so I was only waiting four weeks
Xx-Vicky-xX
04-04-2008, 20:22
Thanks for your reply.
Dont very much know if i am ready for this at all :confused:
I will go though GP it is the best i got, if it takes ages then least i can prepare myself in the time i have to wait
Think about why you want counselling. You don't have to say on here if you don't want to.
Its not easy, I found it incredibly hard to sit there for an hour and talk about things that I didn't want to talk about.
Like you say, go see your GP and get on the waiting list. If after a few sessions you don't think its working then just explain that to the therapist.
I had counselling after my godmother committed suicide - I needed it although I didn't see it at the time, but after a while, I opened up to the counsellor and it really did help. But like Abigail said, depending on what you want the counselling for, if you want it or someone else thinks you need it etc, then depends on whether it will work for you or not.
I had counselling for a couple of years after several failed relationships, being in a wrong relationship and not wanting to accept this, I just did not know what to do and after initially being nervous, I managed to open up to the counsellor and got myself sorted. You should be able to change counsellors if you feel you don't get on with the one you are seeing.
Xx-Vicky-xX
05-04-2008, 10:17
Thanks guys, yeah i think that will be a big problem with me (not wanting to talk about stuff) dont really help neither that i am not totally sure what i need help with or even if i really need help :searchme:
Sometimes its far easier to talk to someone who doesn't know you at all, than to speak to a friend or relative. Thats one great thing about it - you could even go to the counsellor saying that you aren't about stuff and you aren't a great talker. Its surprising what can end up coming out.
Xx-Vicky-xX
05-04-2008, 11:03
Sometimes its far easier to talk to someone who doesn't know you at all, than to speak to a friend or relative. Thats one great thing about it - you could even go to the counsellor saying that you aren't about stuff and you aren't a great talker. Its surprising what can end up coming out.
Yeah it is hard talking to people i know aswell so hopefully this will prove to be a good idea in time
Thanks for your help x
pookie1968uk
05-04-2008, 16:47
i was referred for councelling through the doctor but didnt want to wait so i paid for some instead which was quicker. as it was i was contacted after about 2months for the NHS councelling which wouldnt have been long to wait anyway.
i found it really beneficial. i was happy to talk, in fact i probably didnt stop talking for the hour i was there each time! it is easier to tell your problems to someone you dont know i think, plus they are not judgemental and you can say anything about anyone and anything and you know it will go no further than the room.
i wouldnt say all my problems are solved but it was definitely a help.
Xx-Vicky-xX
09-04-2008, 12:28
Thanks guys i am going to ring up about this tomorrow :D
moonstorm
09-04-2008, 13:09
Good luck and do not be afraid to change counsellors if you do not like the first one, they will not take offence.
Good luck and all the best, I am sure you will find it helpful. Let us know how you get on.
Xx-Vicky-xX
09-04-2008, 14:07
Will deffinately let you guys know what happens :D:D:D
Thanks guys i am going to ring up about this tomorrow :D
Good luck. The hardest thing is ringing up and booking an appointment and telling your GP you would like help.
Good Luck and well done on ringing up, thats the first major step
Did you ring up Vicky? You don't need to answer that btw - but thats the first major hurdle to overcome. Well done and I hope this really helps you, like it did me.
Xx-Vicky-xX
11-04-2008, 12:29
Yeah i did - got an answer phone mind and i left a message and asked them to ring me back so i am just waiting for that to happen but yeah i did ring them
moonstorm
11-04-2008, 13:46
Very well done - that was a brave step!!
Well done on first step, have to say if id have heard answerphone i wouldnt have bothered so well done on that too :clap:
Well done! (I know I'm a wee bit late...) But I've found it to help... If there are long waiting lists, you could look at other services in your area (there are several free ones in my town etc) But good luck with it :)
Chloe O'brien
12-04-2008, 01:16
Well done Vicky. The first step is always the hardest, and you have passed the first hurdle by phoning for an appointment. we are all here behind you. Good luck.
My best friend has had it. She's not the type to open up (I met her in January 2005 and then in June 2007 she opened up to me about a lot of stuff I had no idea about,) and a few weeks ago she said to me that she really wanted to go back to it, so she must have found it a help when she went first time round. I couldn't believe it when she said she wanted to go back because she doesn't open up easily.
I'm basically being forced to go to it. Don't want it, I know my own mind but doctors act like I shouldn't have depression or something because I'm under 18. They're refusing to give me anything until I've had councelling because of my age so that's me against a barrell.
I'm basically being forced to go to it. Don't want it, I know my own mind but doctors act like I shouldn't have depression or something because I'm under 18. They're refusing to give me anything until I've had counselling because of my age so that's me against a barrell.
Keep an open mind when you go in. I felt forced into it and I was determined not to go but I didn't have a choice. I flat out refused to talk about anything so it didn't help me.
If you can't have anti-d's then you have very few options as regards to treatment.
My best friend has had it. She's not the type to open up (I met her in January 2005 and then in June 2007 she opened up to me about a lot of stuff I had no idea about,) and a few weeks ago she said to me that she really wanted to go back to it, so she must have found it a help when she went first time round. I couldn't believe it when she said she wanted to go back because she doesn't open up easily.
I'm basically being forced to go to it. Don't want it, I know my own mind but doctors act like I shouldn't have depression or something because I'm under 18. They're refusing to give me anything until I've had councelling because of my age so that's me against a barrell.
I agree with Abigail - you have to keep an open mind and try and let them help you. They could be looking at the causes of your depression and try to resolve them with you, rather than just chucking you on some anti-d's which you could then end up on for a very long time. If they can avoid that route, they will try everything they can to do so. Believe me - you don't really want to go on them until you really have to. My godmother committed suicide after being on anti-d's for many many years and then her doctor trying to wean her off them - she couldn't cope, so took her own life. I'm not saying it happens to everyone, but the medical profession do try other methods, prior to using anti-d's. I was forced into it when I was younger - when I finally opened up, it helped me more than I could have ever imagined.
Well done Vicky on getting over that first hurdle. I hope they come back to you soon with an appointment and like someone already said, we are all here for you.
parkerman
12-04-2008, 13:31
I've only just caught up with this thread, sorry.
I am a trained counsellor myself and used to counsel people at work. So, looking at this from the other side, so to speak, I would agree with what a number of people have said and that is that you have to be ready to speak and want to see a counsellor. It just doesn't work if you are not ready. The counsellor's role in the discussion is to facilitate you to work your way through whatever the difficulty is. The counsellor should be completely non-judgemental so that you feel free to say whatever you want to. S/he should be able to help you come to terms with whatever it is that is worrying you and help you find a way through it. But it will always be your decision in the end what course of action you decide to take; a good counsellor will never tell you what to do.
In many cases I found that just talking to me was enough for people. It was a way of expressing feelings they found difficult to tell other people, even their closest loved ones. And sometimes, I didn't say very much if anything at all, but people found just the fact of talking through something themselves in a non-threatening atmosphere, helped them tremendously and they were able to face up to whatever the difficulty was.
On the other hand, of course, there were people who came back time and again to talk and we would take a very small step each time - sometimes it seemed no step at all - but as long as they were coming back it did, in the end, normally help.
There can, of course, be no guarantees with this sort of thing, but if you feel the time is right to talk to a counsellor, it probably is. So good luck with it and well done on taking the first step. I hope everything turns out well for you.
Xx-Vicky-xX
12-04-2008, 14:36
Well done Vicky on getting over that first hurdle. I hope they come back to you soon with an appointment and like someone already said, we are all here for you.
Thanks Em, was possibly the hardest thing i ever had to do in my life
I've only just caught up with this thread, sorry.
I am a trained counsellor myself and used to counsel people at work. So, looking at this from the other side, so to speak, I would agree with what a number of people have said and that is that you have to be ready to speak and want to see a counsellor. It just doesn't work if you are not ready. The counsellor's role in the discussion is to facilitate you to work your way through whatever the difficulty is. The counsellor should be completely non-judgemental so that you feel free to say whatever you want to. S/he should be able to help you come to terms with whatever it is that is worrying you and help you find a way through it. But it will always be your decision in the end what course of action you decide to take; a good counsellor will never tell you what to do.
In many cases I found that just talking to me was enough for people. It was a way of expressing feelings they found difficult to tell other people, even their closest loved ones. And sometimes, I didn't say very much if anything at all, but people found just the fact of talking through something themselves in a non-threatening atmosphere, helped them tremendously and they were able to face up to whatever the difficulty was.
On the other hand, of course, there were people who came back time and again to talk and we would take a very small step each time - sometimes it seemed no step at all - but as long as they were coming back it did, in the end, normally help.
There can, of course, be no guarantees with this sort of thing, but if you feel the time is right to talk to a counsellor, it probably is. So good luck with it and well done on taking the first step. I hope everything turns out well for you.
You bring up an interesting point about it not working if you are not prepared to do it, i dont know if i am or not - i question if i really need counselling all the time, but then that could be something everyone does :confused: but then again since initially i got the idea from a friend maybe this is why i am going :confused:
I didn't think I needed it when I had counselling, but found it such a release - to be able to talk to some one totally detached from my situation, who was able to look at it from a totally different point of view and for that reason, I listened to, and heard what they said to me aswell.
I'm waiting for counselling and i want it. Cause i have so much things going on at the moment that i need to get them out prefferably so someone who doesn't know me very well. I know i have people caring for me but in a way i don't think that they'd understand well some might but i don't think i'm pretty and i've told my family and they go you are. But that could be cause they're just trying to tell me that my burns make no difference but they do. Right i've kind of rambled on.
Xx-Vicky-xX
13-04-2008, 19:41
Hopefully this will help me aswell then
.:SpIcYsPy:.
13-04-2008, 23:39
Wow I didn't realise so many people went/is going counselling! I was thinking about counselling (for anger management) because I thought my anger was getting a bit OTT.. I wasn't bashing anything but I really wanted to.. didn't hurt myself in any way. Whenever I felt angry I just cried sometimes and did a bit of 'Googling' and then read stress makes hair fall out.. and obviously if I was angry I got stressed right :lol: So me being me tried to calm myself before I got all stressed and have seen slight improvements in my hair!
When me and mum argue over silly things (happens alot when mum's involved haha) I jsut go no wait, let me just calm myself down because my hair's going to fall out! She just laughs and I just take a little breather so it's alright!
When I do forget to do this I obviously get angry shot blah blah blah then I just go to my room and put the music a bit loud than I usually do then as I calm down, the music decreases. It's really helped me..
I didn't know where to go for counselling so I sort of did it myself and yeah.. Who knows, maybe it wasn't that bad but it helped!
Xx-Vicky-xX
14-04-2008, 13:08
Wow I didn't realise so many people went/is going counselling! I was thinking about counselling (for anger management) because I thought my anger was getting a bit OTT.. I wasn't bashing anything but I really wanted to.. didn't hurt myself in any way. Whenever I felt angry I just cried sometimes and did a bit of 'Googling' and then read stress makes hair fall out.. and obviously if I was angry I got stressed right :lol: So me being me tried to calm myself before I got all stressed and have seen slight improvements in my hair!
When me and mum argue over silly things (happens alot when mum's involved haha) I jsut go no wait, let me just calm myself down because my hair's going to fall out! She just laughs and I just take a little breather so it's alright!
When I do forget to do this I obviously get angry shot blah blah blah then I just go to my room and put the music a bit loud than I usually do then as I calm down, the music decreases. It's really helped me..
I didn't know where to go for counselling so I sort of did it myself and yeah.. Who knows, maybe it wasn't that bad but it helped!
Doctor would be able to refer you to a counseller if you wanted it :D I have tried many times to sort my own head out and it just doesn't work - i guess some people can and other cant - my friend seems to think the best thing for me now after several failed attempts at getting past the issues i have is see a professional - who knows if she is right but i dont see another option.
Ruffed_lemur
15-04-2008, 16:27
It's really good if you can sort your own head out, but I guess for quite a few of us there comes a time when we need a little help. Perhaps when we have several issues in life to deal with. Sometimes it can all get on top of you.
Xx-Vicky-xX
17-04-2008, 10:02
Ohh i forgot there was an update about this - i found out both numbers i phoned are no longer in use i now have a new number so will be ringing them next week
Ruffed_lemur
17-04-2008, 15:54
Pity about the delay due to the old numbers, but at least you have a new one now. Good luck!
Xx-Vicky-xX
18-04-2008, 12:27
Pity about the delay due to the old numbers, but at least you have a new one now. Good luck!
Thanks, yeah hopefully i will get somewhere with this new one
Xx-Vicky-xX
01-05-2008, 09:38
Update - phoned up about this yesterday, should have an appointment in the next 2/3 weeks :D
Xx-Vicky-xX
01-05-2008, 11:20
Just got a text saying i've got an appointment next wednesday at 1pm :D
Brilliant, good luck and let us know how you get on x
Ruffed_lemur
01-05-2008, 17:47
Hope the appointment goes well for you!
Just got a text saying i've got an appointment next wednesday at 1pm :D
It might be helpful to write down a few things that you want to talk about then you won't forget something or panic and think you don't know what to say when you get in there.
Good luck :)
Xx-Vicky-xX
02-05-2008, 09:47
Just got a text saying i've got an appointment next wednesday at 1pm :D
It might be helpful to write down a few things that you want to talk about then you won't forget something or panic and think you don't know what to say when you get in there.
Good luck :)
I have a list sorted of things i want to say, my friend is going to go through it to see if there is anything that needs adding :D
Xx-Vicky-xX
07-05-2008, 18:42
Had my first session today :D Guy seems alright so far
Had my first session today :D Guy seems alright so far
Brilliant news Vicky, hope you will find it a good experience, all the best. When is your next appointment?
moonstorm
08-05-2008, 08:27
Fantastic news, I hope all goes well for you.xxx
Xx-Vicky-xX
08-05-2008, 09:57
Had my first session today :D Guy seems alright so far
Brilliant news Vicky, hope you will find it a good experience, all the best. When is your next appointment?
Every wednesday 1pm for 6 weeks...then after 6 weeks i can decide to ask for more time or less...or even finish them at that point if i want to
Had my first session today :D Guy seems alright so far
Glad to hear it went ok. Did you find it helpful?
Xx-Vicky-xX
08-05-2008, 10:21
Had my first session today :D Guy seems alright so far
Glad to hear it went ok. Did you find it helpful?
As it stands right now i dont see how it can help me...maybe i will change my mind though
moonstorm
08-05-2008, 11:54
Please, please give it time. Things can take a wee while to come out. Plus it also takes time to work out how/why you are having probs.
Please, please give it time. Things can take a wee while to come out. Plus it also takes time to work out how/why you are having probs.
I had counselling for two years, so it will not happen over night. It might not take you two years, don't be frightened by my record, some months I only had one session, so that would add to the length of time I needed. You have done the hardest bit and got yourself an appointment, even if perhaps you have to work through some stuff you would rather not at times, keep going.
Xx-Vicky-xX
08-05-2008, 19:35
Nope i know it wont happen over night so i am giving it a chance but i dont see how it will help right now
Ruffed_lemur
09-05-2008, 18:54
Had my first session today :D Guy seems alright so far
Glad to hear it went ok. Did you find it helpful?
As it stands right now i dont see how it can help me...maybe i will change my mind though
Hope it helps you. I had some counselling recently and found it too difficult. Maybe it was the counsellors method...After a break and giving it some thought, I am trying a different counsellor. So I haven't given up yet!
glad it went well, as everyone else has said it will take time for you to see it helping, keep going and youll suddenly realise howmuch it is helping you
xx
Had my first session today :D Guy seems alright so far
Glad to hear it went ok. Did you find it helpful?
As it stands right now i dont see how it can help me...maybe i will change my mind though
Hope it helps you. I had some counselling recently and found it too difficult. Maybe it was the counsellors method...After a break and giving it some thought, I am trying a different counsellor. So I haven't given up yet!
Well done, for not giving up at the first hurdle, you need to find the right partner for counselling, like you need to with your best friend and spouse, I suppose. Good on you for trying a different counsellor. :thumbsup:
Ruffed_lemur
10-05-2008, 14:43
Had my first session today :D Guy seems alright so far
Glad to hear it went ok. Did you find it helpful?
As it stands right now i dont see how it can help me...maybe i will change my mind though
Hope it helps you. I had some counselling recently and found it too difficult. Maybe it was the counsellors method...After a break and giving it some thought, I am trying a different counsellor. So I haven't given up yet!
Well done, for not giving up at the first hurdle, you need to find the right partner for counselling, like you need to with your best friend and spouse, I suppose. Good on you for trying a different counsellor. :thumbsup:
Thanks! :) I haven't seen them yet, but I've got an appointment in about 2 weeks.
Xx-Vicky-xX
17-05-2008, 10:18
Im thinking about changing counsellors...not to sure though
Ruffed_lemur
17-05-2008, 16:27
Im thinking about changing counsellors...not to sure though
I think it's hard to decide about giving up or changing counsellors. It was for me...The first one made me feel negative, so didn't think that was good at all. I like to try and stay positive, so hope the new one helps.
Ruffed_lemur
22-05-2008, 15:46
It's my appointment with the new counsellor tomorrow, and feeling a bit worried about it. I keep telling myself it will be ok...If anyone's got any spare good luck, I'd appreciate it!
Good luck for tomorrow. I hope it goes ok and you aren't too worried.
moonstorm
22-05-2008, 15:53
Just go with an open mind?
Ruffed_lemur
22-05-2008, 15:54
Good luck for tomorrow. I hope it goes ok and you aren't too worried.
Thanks! I'm fairly calm at this moment, but the worrying comes and goes. Better try and keep busy tomorrow morning.
Ruffed_lemur
22-05-2008, 15:56
Just go with an open mind?
Thanks, I'll try to do that.
di marco
22-05-2008, 16:43
It's my appointment with the new counsellor tomorrow, and feeling a bit worried about it. I keep telling myself it will be ok...If anyone's got any spare good luck, I'd appreciate it!
good luck and i hope it goes ok for you :)
Ruffed_lemur
22-05-2008, 16:46
It's my appointment with the new counsellor tomorrow, and feeling a bit worried about it. I keep telling myself it will be ok...If anyone's got any spare good luck, I'd appreciate it!
good luck and i hope it goes ok for you :)
Thank you! :)
It's my appointment with the new counsellor tomorrow, and feeling a bit worried about it. I keep telling myself it will be ok...If anyone's got any spare good luck, I'd appreciate it!
Approach it with an open mind but positive attitude, I always think if you go into something with a negative attitude, you will not get anything positive out of it. Good luck and all the best xx
Good luck, I hope all goes well
pinkles14
23-05-2008, 23:31
I hope it all went well......
Yeah, so do I. How did you get on?
Ruffed_lemur
24-05-2008, 17:08
Thanks everyone, it's very much appreciated. :) Didn't go too well unfortunately, I feel like I've taken 2 steps back. I went with a positive attitude, but it just made me feel bad and anxious. Still recovering...As the counsellor said, it doesn't suit everyone. At least I tried again, and something positive has hopefully come out of it, as I've been referred to an anxiety management group. Seems like a good idea to me anyway.
Thanks everyone, it's very much appreciated. :) Didn't go too well unfortunately, I feel like I've taken 2 steps back. I went with a positive attitude, but it just made me feel bad and anxious. Still recovering...As the counsellor said, it doesn't suit everyone. At least I tried again, and something positive has hopefully come out of it, as I've been referred to an anxiety management group. Seems like a good idea to me anyway.
Group counselling suits some people better than one to one, so good luck with that one. Hope you don't have to wait too long.
Ruffed_lemur
24-05-2008, 17:17
Thanks. I might have to wait a few weeks, not sure how long yet. They also do relaxation exercises which should be good.
Sometimes you feel worse before better. I hope it all works out :)
Good luck with the anxiety management group :)
Ruffed_lemur
16-06-2008, 16:43
Im thinking about changing counsellors...not to sure though
How's the counselling going for you? Still ok I hope.
Ruffed_lemur
28-06-2008, 17:40
Starting my anxiety management group on Tuesday.
That's good, at least you didn't have to wait months and months to get in there. Hope you get on ok with it :)
My docter never made a referal for me even through he said he would so the doctor i saw yesterday said either the 1st doctor i saw about counselling would do an immediate referal or he will. So waiting for that, hope it happens.
di marco
28-06-2008, 21:05
Starting my anxiety management group on Tuesday.
i hope it will go ok for you
Ruffed_lemur
29-06-2008, 14:06
Thanks Kim and di marco. Very much appreciated! :)
Ruffed_lemur
29-06-2008, 14:14
My docter never made a referal for me even through he said he would so the doctor i saw yesterday said either the 1st doctor i saw about counselling would do an immediate referal or he will. So waiting for that, hope it happens.
My doctor was a bit slow too. I think I could have done with more help sooner, but maybe it was the vibes I gave out. I like to stay positive, even when things are tough, so guess it was down to that. I tend to bottle stuff up really...
Hope you get that referral. Good luck! :)
Ruffed_lemur
01-07-2008, 16:06
Starting my anxiety management group on Tuesday.
i hope it will go ok for you
It went pretty well! So I'm pleased with that. :)
Good news that you feel positive about it. Do you have any idea for how long you will have to go? Keep it up for as long as is needed, it must be worth it in the long run for all sorts of reasons. :thumbsup:
Ruffed_lemur
01-07-2008, 18:20
Good news that you feel positive about it. Do you have any idea for how long you will have to go? Keep it up for as long as is needed, it must be worth it in the long run for all sorts of reasons. :thumbsup:
Thanks. :) It's once a week for 4 weeks. I intend to keep going, so will give it my best. I have a good feeling about it.
di marco
01-07-2008, 19:25
Starting my anxiety management group on Tuesday.
i hope it will go ok for you
It went pretty well! So I'm pleased with that. :)
im glad it went ok :)
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