It's not the winning but the taking part that counts..

[chance]

Agree or disagree? I mean in general..
For example though.. School sports days: Is it right that children shouldnt be competitive and everyone should near on get a rosette?

Kids Football matches: Is it right for a manager to give all the team a go at playing and not just stick his best team out there every week to get results?

[Chloe O'brien]

As a parent who has spent many a damp cold Sunday morning standing watching a kids football match, I do agree that it should be about taking part that counts and encouraging children to take part in sports.

When Marley played for the school football team the manager gave all the kids equal time playing not just the good ones. When she joined we were given a letter informing parents that they weren't allowed to shout at the ref and to praise the kids even if they lost, which is fair enough because you don't want to have a kid in tears because they might have let 3 goals in.

But I think sometimes the UK is just too bloody PC for its own good. Marley goes to Judo twice a week. Last month she gained her 4th MON (yellow belt with a red stripe) at the moment her grading is done within the club were the coach asks them to do a number or moves and throws. Within the next two years when she becomes a green belt 10th MON she will have to go to competitions and fight other players and win to pass her grading.

Although giving kids a medal for taking part can be good to encourage more kids to take part in sports I also think that it would be more beneficial if kids were to become more competitve about winning. That is why the UK does crap in the olympics and other sports because the future generation is over weight and obese and half of the kids in the country can't do a simple roll-over because they are that FAT but the school and parents tell the kids well its okay.

I know we all can't be brilliant at sports I was rubbish at them at school but maybe its time we took a leaf out of the Eastern European Countires and focus more on winning and becoming more competitive.

[DaVeyWaVey]

I agree with the statement. Winning isn't everything. Taking part is just as much fun. Kids need to learn that winning isn't everything, and you can get as much enjoyment out of a sport or competition, from just taking part in it. It helps encourage children to participate in sport and various other competitions. Encouraging competition is good, but I think it can go too far with kids, as too much competition could make them feel like a failure, if they don't win something...I know I felt like that when I was a kid, and I was crap at all the sports!

[CrazyLea]

I think it's important for children to believe that it's the taking part that counts :p. But I am really quite competitive so for me it's the winning that counts to me :lol:..

[samantha nixon]

Its the taking part lol, not the winning, ive done a few diff comps and stuff for sprts stuff and sometimes the team wins, but one game i can remeber was a netball one we lost 21:1 lol but it was one of the funniest games ive played and we had such a laugh, yh its cool to win but i just love doing the sports

[Abi]

I think its good to get kids involved in things, but i think competition is healthy too. Not going too over the top with it, but encouraging them to get to their best and to aim to win is good, i think. I think its character building, and gives you more confidence.

[Pinkbanana]

I think its good to get kids involved in things, but i think competition is healthy too. Not going too over the top with it, but encouraging them to get to their best and to aim to win is good, i think. I think its character building, and gives you more confidence.

I agree with you, Abi. Thats why I'm pleased that more competitive games are making a come back in schools, especially on Sports' day!

[Jojo]

But... on the other hand, isn't it soul destroying for someone who isn't as good at sport as the rest of them, to always be last in Sports Day races etc? Playing devils advocate like.

Sometimes it can be very difficult to draw that fine line with some parents - me, I just want my kids to be happy and enjoy taking part in whatever they do, whilst still trying to encourage them to do their best, but there are some that I know, that force their children to take part in some activities even though said child isn't exactly the best at it, and ends up feeling really down because they don't "perform" as perhaps some want them too - if I'm making any sense there lol

[CrazyLea]

Yeah you're making sense.. reminds me of a girl on last years X Factor... really bad at singing, but her parents pushed her and made her believe she was good etc.. then she was just so upset.. only 15 or 16 I think :(.

[Jojo]

This is it Lea - I was always taught it was the taking part that counted, but the doing the best I could was the most important thing, which I think some parents, from what I've seen don't do. There are a few (a minority but still a few) that seem to want to live their lost childhoods through their own children and then wonder why a few years later, that child starts going off the rails. Not all do of course, but there are a few that do.

[StarsOfCCTV]

But... on the other hand, isn't it soul destroying for someone who isn't as good at sport as the rest of them, to always be last in Sports Day races etc? *ehem* that would be me :lol: I wasn't even that bad at sports there were just loads of sporty people at my school (in fact one of them has won a scholarship at some Olympic training thing...) so you can see how I was stuffed :lol:

I think team games are better, like football or netball, they encourage kids to work together but also allow for healthy competition...I always felt useless as a kid at sports day because they would put you into your house teams and if you lost it was like letting down your side :p

[Pinkbanana]

But... on the other hand, isn't it soul destroying for someone who isn't as good at sport as the rest of them, to always be last in Sports Day races etc? Playing devils advocate like.

Sometimes it can be very difficult to draw that fine line with some parents - me, I just want my kids to be happy and enjoy taking part in whatever they do, whilst still trying to encourage them to do their best, but there are some that I know, that force their children to take part in some activities even though said child isn't exactly the best at it, and ends up feeling really down because they don't "perform" as perhaps some want them too - if I'm making any sense there lol


The thing is all children have strengths and weaknesses....we arent really preparing them for the real world or helping them find out what they are good at, if we dont introduce some competitive element into school... for one, where are the sporting stars of the future going to come from?

However, I agree that cooperative games can be engaging and challenging and teach children to respect and value one another's contributions...its a matter of getting the balance right!

[Jojo]

But... on the other hand, isn't it soul destroying for someone who isn't as good at sport as the rest of them, to always be last in Sports Day races etc? *ehem* that would be me :lol: I wasn't even that bad at sports there were just loads of sporty people at my school (in fact one of them has won a scholarship at some Olympic training thing...) so you can see how I was stuffed :lol:

I think team games are better, like football or netball, they encourage kids to work together but also allow for healthy competition...I always felt useless as a kid at sports day because they would put you into your house teams and if you lost it was like letting down your side :p

I was always the last one standing in pick your own team games lol. You know the ones, where the most popular kids where the team captains who in turn, picked their mates, and then I was the Billy left on my own and the teams looking at the teacher as if to say, do we have to pick her!

I just started drinking, smoking and seeing boys instead :lol: (Please don't follow that rule any impressionable young people out there - its not big and it ain't clever :) )

[DaVeyWaVey]

I am with you Ems - I was crap at sport in school and I was always picked last for teams in football etc - makes me glad I don't do P.E anymore...luckily my parents knew this anyway, and just told me to try my best and it's the taking part that ultimately counts, and this is what should be said to children in my opinion. If they are encouraged to be too competitive, they will then think it's only the winning that matters, which isn't true at all.

[Jojo]

But... on the other hand, isn't it soul destroying for someone who isn't as good at sport as the rest of them, to always be last in Sports Day races etc? Playing devils advocate like.

Sometimes it can be very difficult to draw that fine line with some parents - me, I just want my kids to be happy and enjoy taking part in whatever they do, whilst still trying to encourage them to do their best, but there are some that I know, that force their children to take part in some activities even though said child isn't exactly the best at it, and ends up feeling really down because they don't "perform" as perhaps some want them too - if I'm making any sense there lol


The thing is all children have strengths and weaknesses....we arent really preparing them for the real world or helping them find out what they are good at, if we dont introduce some competitive element into school... for one, where are the sporting stars of the future going to come from?

However, I agree that cooperative games can be engaging and challenging and teach children to respect and value one another's contributions...its a matter of getting the balance right!

This is very true - although I will give you my eldest son as an example.

He is dire at sports - he won't mind me saying it, he admits it. Terrible at football, not the fastest runner in the book etc. Loves rugby though, but keeps on being threatened by the bigger lads to have his legs broken/snapped because he is so thin - so doesn't play anymore. He is, however, very intelligent. A definite plus side, yes, but he gets bullied in the classroom for that aswell. He recently did fantastically well in practise SAT's and had the resounding shouts of Boff, Swot, Creep, Ar$e licker etc shouted at him in the classroom, in front of the teacher, who did nothing (and never has done, nor have the school).

Primary school is fantastic for keeping up competitive spirit and team building, confidence building etc within different team events whether sporting ones, other practical ones, and theoretical ones, but unfortunately, for some High Schools - it just doesn't work like that.

[DaVeyWaVey]

I think when you get to secondary school, team sports change. I remember in primary school, they encouraged me even if I was crap, but when you get to secondary school, in my experience anyway, the teachers have their favourites etc and they basically totally disregard the crap people.. and the kids that have been brought up thinking winning is the only thing that matters, get wound up if you lose a football match in your games lesson! :rolleyes: That's what being too competitive can do in my opinion. It makes kids lose sight that taking part is what counts, especially when you hit secondary school. In my experience, when I've been on a losing team, I've been partially bullied for being crap and being at fault, for making the whole team lose. This is evidence, that all they think about is winning and they've lost sight of the fun of taking part - it's what being too competitive can do to you I think...

That's awful Ems, especially as the school does nothing about it! Sounds like my school to be honest.. :rolleyes:

[Jojo]

I think when you get to secondary school, team sports change. I remember in primary school, they encouraged me even if I was crap, but when you get to secondary school, in my experience anyway, the teachers have their favourites etc and they basically totally disregard the crap people.. and the kids that have been brought up thinking winning is the only thing that matters, get wound up if you lose a football match in your games lesson! :rolleyes: That's what being too competitive can do in my opinion. It makes kids lose sight that taking part is what counts, especially when you hit secondary school. In my experience, when I've been on a losing team, I've been partially bullied for being crap and being at fault, for making the whole team lose. This is evidence, that all they think about is winning and they've lost sight of the fun of taking part - it's what being too competitive can do to you I think...

That's awful Ems, especially as the school does nothing about it! Sounds like my school to be honest.. :rolleyes:

Exactly Dave - my son, went to every training session after school for the rugby, desperately trying to ignore the bullies etc, and then the teacher would leave him out of the team in place of someone who went once every 3 months, but was naturally a pretty good player - totally promoting its the winning, not the taking part, and unfair IMHO.

[Siobhan]

Em and Davey.. totally agree with what you are saying.. from my own experience I am a short little thing and we all had to do Basketball at school.. I took part (last to be picked cause I was so bad) but did it anyway. It was only PE and not an actually competition. I hated sports at school but did stuff outside school which I enjoyed..

Em as for Ste.. please please tell him to ignore the comment been called a swot etc... I had that too and I let it get to me and ended up doing really badly at school cause I wanted to be liked and fit in.. However, 9 years later I went back to school and (sad to say as these were adults) still called a swot but I ignored it and went on to do really really well (well enough to get a 2.1 honour degree in Software Engineering) so tell him to keep up his good work.. I always tell Charley to do her best, even if it is not 100% right, just to do what she can and in the end she does come out with 100% in all her test cause she likes School. (she is also crap at sports :lol: ) takes after her mum.

[Jojo]

Em and Davey.. totally agree with what you are saying.. from my own experience I am a short little thing and we all had to do Basketball at school.. I took part (last to be picked cause I was so bad) but did it anyway. It was only PE and not an actually competition. I hated sports at school but did stuff outside school which I enjoyed..

Em as for Ste.. please please tell him to ignore the comment been called a swot etc... I had that too and I let it get to me and ended up doing really badly at school cause I wanted to be liked and fit in.. However, 9 years later I went back to school and (sad to say as these were adults) still called a swot but I ignored it and went on to do really really well (well enough to get a 2.1 honour degree in Software Engineering) so tell him to keep up his good work.. I always tell Charley to do her best, even if it is not 100% right, just to do what she can and in the end she does come out with 100% in all her test cause she likes School. (she is also crap at sports :lol: ) takes after her mum.

Thanks Shiv - I always say to him that they only say these things cos they are jealous of him, and that its because they know that when he leaves school he'll possibly end up earning more money which is why they do it. He's even had those chats with the girls where its marry, sleep with, and best mates or something and apparently most of the girls want to marry him so they can share in his wealth apparently. So I said to him, it just proves it basically.

I always say to him, you can only do 100% - as long as you do that, I'm more than happy.

[Siobhan]

I always say to him, you can only do 100% - as long as you do that, I'm more than happy.

Something my dad use to always say which I firmly believe in... "you only get out what you put in, If you put in 100% than you get 100% back out"...

[Katy]

at the end of the day winning is always nice but with everything there is bound to be a loser. I have been lucky with everything i have took part in Band, Football, Running, Netball and Sailing, i have always made it into a social occasion when the taking part is what matters. I am not the best at these things but my teacher once described me as a "turner Upper" someone who always turned up and therefore should get a chance to play.

I hate the parent whop really push there kids and its not fair luickily my parents have always told me that its only your best that matters. It was only last week we were in AMsterdam on tour with the Ladies football team at uni, we made sure everyone who was up to it got a match i.e all those not being sick or on crutches and at the end of the day our team spirit got us to the final, we didnt win but we had an amazing day.

I also remember last year at a sailing event it was a 12 hour race for charity and my mam had gone to have a kip and i took charge, i split up the time into even slots and made sure everyone who was there managed to get a sail, afterall they had turned up and were stood in the rain like the rest of us. However, my list meant we would have to change the sailoprs alot resulting in us losing time, i had so many people shout at me saying that the mentality should be winning and it really ruined the day for me as i got so upset.