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.:SpIcYsPy:.
25-03-2008, 17:42
Might be a bit long so sorry in advance. This is sort of behalf on mum but I taken upon the situation as I think it may affect him later in life.
2 problems..
Problem 1)
Basically to sum it up.. my bro is 5.. and he has this mate called *Tom*. They are quite close and are like the quiet ones in the class not the naughty rebels haha :p and my mum would like to sort of get him to mix with other people, not the naughty ones but the ones inbetween naughty and quiet sort of thing. There is also this other Boy *Dom* and it's like this trio of quietness basically. Any suggestions?

Problem 2)
Tom's family is sort of having a hard time.. they live in a small flat (nothing wrong with that but..) mum says it's really untidy and dirty and therefore she dosen't like our bro going there that much. Lately Tom and bro have been going to eachothers houses alot.. if he comes here bro goes there after and vise versa about 5 times now. The thing with my brother (same goes for sister actually is..) they are so upfront they go straight to the parents after school in front of my mum.. 'can we go to so and so's after school, today or this week' .. (sis gets told time after time but she's a rebel and dosent listen).. bro gets told but the message does not get into his head.. and Tom's mum is sort of okay with it and goes yeah sure. and like today he's around their house because he did this again and mum was like 'no thats not nice' and she was like 'no it's fine we can do this on a regular basis as it's nice for the kids to socialise..' but mum as i said is uncomfortable with the idea and also she has 2 other kids to take care off (like me have my mates around and my sis have hers every now and then) but Tom's mum wants to make it into a regular thing and sort of 'invited' herself around?!

I know this is really long but to be honest I shortened this up so yeah lol..
Please and many thank-you's to any replies x It will be much appreciated from me and my mum x

Jojo
25-03-2008, 18:42
Spicy, first, I shouldn't worry about him mixing with the two quiet ones for now. He'll soon make other friends as he gets older and gains more confidence in himself. Friends change regularly etc.

If your mum doesn't want your bro to go round Tom's house as much, then she needs to put her foot down, and in front of the other mum, when the boys are saying can one go over/come over etc, to say not today but maybe another day - not putting an actual day on it. Every now and then is fine, but it sounds like its becoming too regular for your mum so she needs to make a stand and say no, both to your bro and to Tom and his mum. Its nice to have friends and socialise at any age, but your mum has to be happy with the frequency of it.

.:SpIcYsPy:.
25-03-2008, 20:55
My mum tried the 'no not today another day maybe thing today' and she was like 'oh no we are not doing anything today so it's fine' sort of thing and was quite happy to do so as she wants to make it a regular thing. she knows what days when mum's busy like when my sis goes dancing and swimming lessons so she sort of says 'oh but this day is fine' and stuff..
Mum dosen't want to offend them but she really don't want to go to their house and also their dad smokes and my mum dosent want bro passive smoking and that..

It's stressing her abit today as I sort of talked to her about it and she's thought about it more because Tom's mum wants to make it a regular thing!

Oh and the friends thing, yeah I guess your right, he's still young I guess :)

Jojo
25-03-2008, 20:59
If shes that pushy though, it may come to a point where she'll have to possibly offend her, it sounds like. Otherwise, all of these visits are going to happen and rather than offending her slightly, a huge bust up could happen when your mum eventually has enough. Its almost bullying your mum into allowing your bro and her lad to play, which isn't fair on your mum.

.:SpIcYsPy:.
25-03-2008, 22:07
Well I told my mum what you said and she thought it was really useful, just sat and had a chat with her and I told mum if she says the whole 'no no no it's okay thing again' i told mum to explain that my bro's been given to much lee way compared to the other 2 and going out too much and that maybe we can do it another day'.. and then if she goes 'oh its good to socialise again' i told mum to simply say 'im sorry but that's how i bring my kids up and the other two turned out perfectly' haha.. mum thought it was a pretty good comeback so im pleased that's sorted out.. Thanks Emzz :D:D xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Also another thing I found out is that my brother wants these Ben 10 toys that Tom has.. and he literally begs TOM's MUM =| to get him some LOL.. how embarrasing for mum so she sort of feels the need to buy him them because this other kids got it. I think that's a wrong thing to do because you can't have what everyone else has, I have learnt that (from daddy haha) but he's 5 he can't understand.. He also wants a Nintendo Wii and we told him it's £2,000 and we 'can't afford it' ,(lol big numbers only hit him hard not £200 and he's already got a PS2 (given by my other cousin, barely plays with it himself)) but he's still going oooh but my cousins got it and I want it sort of thing..

EDIT: Oh btw she bought him one of the Ben10 thing Tom has but hasn't given it to him YET..

He just dosen't get it and we told him he can't have everything but being the 'boy who never listens' he simply dosent listen lol.. Help please?

Chloe O'brien
26-03-2008, 14:58
I can only agree with what Ems says about your brother being quiet, he will soon come out of his shell in his own time. As for this other kids wanting to hang around your house all the time, your mum needs to put her foot down and limit the amount of time they spend at your house before they become part of the furniture. My youngest neice Michaela is 18 and she was friends with this girl Dawn from nursery all through school. When they got to high school Dawn started spending more and more time at my sisters house, it began with her staying for tea one night a week then it went to two and sleeping over at the weekends. At first my sister and her partnet didn't mind because they were both working and it was company for michaela. But then Dawn sleepovers progressed to more than one night during the holidays my sister tried to voice her concerns to my niece saying that she didn't mind her staying the odd night but not ever weekend. michaela pleaded with her mum because she felt sorry for Dawn as she comes from a large family and her parents didn't work and Dawn's mum was at bingo most nights and her dad would be in the bookmakers so there wouldn't be anything for Dawn to eat. When they were 16 in the summer holidays Dawn stayed at my sisters for the whole 6 weeks without going home and her parents never once phoned to see how she was or anything despite only living 5 minutes down the road. She even stayed the whole Christmas fortnight 3 years in a row. Bascially my sister fed Dawn for 5 years at least three times a week. It only stopped because Dawn got her own house last year and Michaela is working now so they don't see each other as much.

Spicy if your mum doesn't set ground rules on when they can come for tea to play this other kids mum will take a loan of your parents as she is getting peace from her kids.