View Full Version : Depression
xStephaniex
23-01-2008, 14:56
i dont know if this is in thhe right place or not so sorry if its not...but here goes
ive just been diagnosed with depression, but because of my age and my depression score ( i had to do a questionnaire for them to work out how bad the depression is ) i need to wait to see a psychiatrist (sp?), which ill be seeing within the next 2 weeks. so he/she will decide on the medication which is best suitable as it increases the chances of suicide or something like that.
Does anyone know what other ways there are in the meantime to try and boost my mood? Im drinking alot and other stupid things to try block out / cope.
Any advice from the older members or anyone who has suffered from depression and could give advice on how they overcame it would be really appreciated. x
I was never diagnossed, but my friend was and we both juts found being with our friends and support from them.
I know its not much..........
So did you go to a doctor and told him/her?
xStephaniex
23-01-2008, 15:07
thanks hun but i have'nt wanted to go out and see my friends, i dumped my bf because of how i felt, the only time i go out is if i have to and i have to go to college, even though i cant concerntrate i need my attendance to stay good.
I went to my doctor today as its been an on going thing and i know the reasons for it but i couldn't cope any longer feeling like this.
I didn't expect her to say depression if im honest with you but i had 9 of 10 or 11 symptoms at different scores. but she wants me seen quickly and i have to go back on monday i just dunno what to do, only my tutor and doctor know.
You mya not want to see your friends but think it would be good to tell them, friends are amazing people and they shock you and surpise you in really good ways.
Hope Im not being too personal but do you ever get the feeling of just crying forever?
Exercising can help depression
xStephaniex
23-01-2008, 15:22
not really Abbie i do cry and sometimes i dont know why! I only cry alot when the reasons for it are brought up, like today at the doctors. so im scared of seeing the psychiatrist and have to sit there and go through it all again.
I have a home gym kit and was out on the trampette lastnight, and it did make me feel better but i also had a fair ammount of drink before hand so dont know which of them helped more. But thank you Rimmer ill continue to do it - its just being " bothered " to do it.
I know what you mean, but dont be scared and sometimes you feel betetr once its all out
Exercising can help depressionI agree. I have found that medication is a help (although it can take several weeks to work) but going for long walks is good therapy. You really need to have someone that you trust that you can confide in and who is just there to listen and is not judgemental. A psychaitrist or psychologist will help but you have to want to be helped. Alcohol is a depressant in itself so really isnt going to help and will make matters worse. There is NO quick fix.
Although you might think that you feel better when you have had a drink, alcohol is actually a depressant, so drinking will make you feel worse eventually. Exercise is good, you might want to take St John's Wort, it is herbal and very good, however, will take a couple of months of you taking it regularly to become effective, as will any medication the doctor might prescribe. Try to see your friends you are comfortable with and you can trust. I suffer from depression but can't do much about it for various reasons, but try to take my mind of things by doing things I enjoy. You have done the best thing already by going to the doctor and talking about your feelings and telling this forum. Think about the fact that you are getting help in the near future and try to focus on the nicer things in life when your sad feelings are getting you down. Depression is a mental thing, if you can manage to change your mind to think about nice things, you will not feel so bad and not so often. All the best x.
Walking is good as well. Thats what the doctors told my friend.
xStephaniex
23-01-2008, 17:35
Thanks guys...i know its not going to be gone quickly and that alcohol really doesn't help! when i go back monday i have to tell her honestly if ive had any or not. and im going to try to not!
Surely they wouldn't give me anti-depresants at 17 would they? If you cant have medication do you do these things like excercise and the St. johns wort perdita? I really apreciate your help guys x
Each case is different so anti-depressants might work for you but not somebody else as might therapy. Not everybody is suited to therapy, I found it more of a hinderence than help. You won't know until you go though. The psychiatrist will be best able to decide the course of action.
If your doctor thinks you need anti-d's then you should try them. They take several weeks to get into your system so don't stop taking them because you don't get an immediate change.
Alcohol isn't a good idea, especially if/when you start taking medication. I know we can all sit here and tell you not to drink but it may make things harder in the long run.
Like others have said, try to go for a walk during the day even if you don't feel like it. Exercise causes the brain to release endorphins which make you feel good. Depression is just a chemical inbalance in the brain.
Do you know the reasons behind your depression?
xStephaniex
23-01-2008, 18:40
The counselling isn't an option for me, ive had bad expieriences with counsellors and the reasons behind it is what i really cant talk about. i break down when someone mentions it and i cant do that every week. i think thats why im going to the psychiatrist because the GP cant prescribed them to teens or something.
So yes i do know the reasons but there things i cant talk about.
Eating bananas and chocolate also release endorphins which make you feel better but exercise such as walking or any other form you fancy will have a good effect. St John's Wort was recommended to me by a doctor and I have taken them successfully. The psychiatrist will prescribe suitable medication for you, if he/she thinks this is required.
You have to remember only go on anti depressants if YOU want to, it's got to be your choice. I'm pretty much in the same position as you, and as others have said going for walks, and i know it's hard but don't isolate yourself. I keep trying to, i just never want to be around anyone but if you force yourself and they know what's going on then it can help. As others have said, the alcohol will not be helping, if you can just don't drink at all.
Good luck :)
xStephaniex
24-01-2008, 10:05
i haven't drank any alcohol since the doctors yesterday, I told my parents and they practically said im not going on any medication and if i dont want to do the counselling then thats upto me! so it caused a big arguement which didn't help but i managed to stay away from the drink and went for a walk this morning! it works for about 10 minutes and im back to feeling down.
But i will keep it up! Thanks guys. :)
Chloe O'brien
24-01-2008, 22:17
Is there a group near where you live were you can go a talk to other young people who are expereincing the same problems. Sometimes it helps to talk to someone you are not close to as it can be difficult for a family member or friend to understand. May be someone from College can give you some advice.
My sister suffered a number or nervous breakdowns a few years ago and she used to attend a support group were there were other females there with different kinds of problems. They also used to do different activities like bowling.
xStephaniex
15-03-2008, 02:04
thanks chloe! i hope your sister is alright now =) - i do talk to my tutor but not alot now as all the medic at college have been told to "look out for me" as they've tried to send me home veeryday this week for looking unwell which is starting to stress me out! But im seeing a pysch on monday so hopefully ill know what i can do to help myself on monday! - thank you guys for your advice and support. very much appreciated!
Love steff x
Thats great Steph, Im happy for you and that you are trying, as most people dont try and things get worse, things should get better for you, it might be slow but things will get there
I've had spells of major depression, the best thing to do is get out there with friends, have a good time and try and forget about your troubles. As soon as i got to uni my life changed for the better, now surrounded by a great circle of friends and really happy with my life. As Abbie says the only way to get over depression to actively change your life.
Good luck with the appointment, it may take time but it'll be worth it :)
I Get depressed sometimes every month, i always gets down in ym mood feeling ugly, fat, the only things that comes my nerves by that is cigarettes. My mother uinderstands me, but my father is a perfect example of men who dont understand.:cheer:
xStephaniex
14-08-2008, 03:05
i agree with you there! my mum understands but my dad doesn;t and completly doesn't know what to do with me! after god knows how many months i've now been given anti depressants, but refuse to take them...i dont want to become dependant on them if that makes sense? i think you should keep smoking in that case chairty...i know i should be saying give up, but if its the only thing that calms you then continue, its gotta be better than driving yourself further into a depressive mood, how often do you get them?? xx
Kirsty :]
13-10-2009, 00:01
I'm seriously worried. I don't know how to feel better, I haven't felt myself for a while now. Constantly teary eyed and distant. I've only really been thinking about the way I am though for the past few days, mainly because all I keep getting off people, including family is "are you ok? you don't seem very happy"..I seem fine to myself, but thinking about it and thinking about everything.. maybe I'm not? I am so confused, but I really do hate feeling so down and not myself.. I just don't know what to do, I don't want to say "oh it's depression" and make a mountain out of a mole hill.. but there is definately something up. I don't know how to get around it all though...
Kirsty, you have worked so hard the past year and now you are in a new environment and it takes time to adjust. Are you sleeping ok and are you eating properly? Have you got a friend or somebody in the family you can talk to about how you feel? Hope you feel your usual self again soon xxx
Kirsty, I think it's good you're investigating it... whether it is or isn't, then at least you're aware of what's happening to yourself. If you don't want to talk to friends or family, do your local youth services offer free counselling? I've used those in the past and they've been very useful...
Like Perdita said, the change of colleges can shake you up; I know things like that tipped the balance for me... Also, the sleeping and eating thing, that's true... I've found a routine immensely helpful. If you can get it at the start, it saves so much hassle... If you want any more help PM me, I've had (unfortunately) lots of experience with this... x
Kirsty, the only advise I can give you is to step away from everything you are doing, even if only for a hour. You need to step back as you will just end up going round and round and if you can't stop it now then it is only going to get worse. Find a friend or a stranger and just let it all out, everything... My niece was going through the same as you just recently and she sat and sobbed in my house one night. You just need someone to listen to you, and get it all out to help you realise where is started and how you can move ahead.
Hope you feel better soon chicky xxxx
DaVeyWaVey
13-10-2009, 17:18
Kirsty - it's good that you've realised your not feeling yourself. Maybe if you try booking an appointment to see your doctor? You won't be wasting their time at all and they'll be pleased that you've taken the big step of going to see them. Depression is a serious illness. They'll probably ask you a load of questions, then they may refer you to a counsellor.
Alternatively, confide in a trusted friend or family member. Sometimes it really helps just to offload your thoughts on somebody else who is willing to listen.
May I also recommend keeping a personal diary? Writing down how you feel each day is a wonderful release, I find. I feel refreshed afterwards. Try it :)
Kirsty :]
13-10-2009, 17:31
Thanks everyone. I'll take all your advice on board :)
As for sleeping.. I keep waking up in the middle of the night or not being able to get to sleep at all until early hours of the morning.
I would go to the doctor.. but I don't feel like my problems are that important, and that I don't have depression... I'm just being a typical teenager?
All of my friends are away at Uni so I have no-one to talk to, the only friend I do have that I'd like to talk to... is one of my main problems, and he hardly speaks to me anymore anyways. I don't talk to my family very much about anything, so they're out of the question too.
Does your college have a counselling service that you could use?
I felt like that for ages too, but I did nothing about it. I'd say that it may be best to go, as your doctor may have some ideas about help/support and stuff... Just don't let it go too far, or you'll end up like me (and that ISN'T good :p: )
Hope you feel better soon
Chloe O'brien
17-10-2009, 23:34
Is there a student counselling service at the college Kirsty maybe you could speak to one of the advisors there and have a chat with them. Sometimes it's easier to talk to a stranger than it is to family members. Don't bottle it up and feel ashamed because that will make you feel worse. Go for a walk up a big hill and scream until your horse. Hope you feel better soon we are all here for you.
Kirsty :]
17-10-2009, 23:40
There is, but that's the last place I want to go. I was feeling slightly better, and I'm getting a cold... so now I just feel bad again. I need my friends, and they don't want to know. Went out to the pub for a catch up earlier, it was awful, I was ignored, and dismissed, and interrupted, I just felt so out of place. Like because I didn't go to Uni, I wasn't worthy enough to talk lol.
Walking home with 2 of my friends, and the girl didn't go to Uni either but the guy did, and he said to me about my "depressing emo" status' on Facebook lately, and I think Jade (my other friend) hit the nail on the head about why I'm so down, because she said I sound lonely.. and I am. I am completely lonely, that's how I feel anyways.
Thinking about how sooo much changed in such a short space of time, and losing my friends to Uni, I had no-one to let out my fears or worries too, so I've only had myself, which ends up in me winding myself up even more about things and thinking the worst of myself.
freckleface
08-11-2009, 15:30
I haven't been diagnosed with depression. But I know something is wrong with me
Some days I'm okay, then on other days i feel like i'm stuck in a really dark place.
I'm really snappy with my friends and family for no reason.
I can't help it but i feel so down and alone, like no-one can help me.
I can't tell my mum, she thinks i'm over-exaggerating.
And depression would just top it off. I have so many things wrong with me I dont think I can cope.
i wish I could just be normal and not feel so unstable
Have you recently started college/university? If so, I can imagine that all the changes you are going through must be unsettling.. leaving home, family and friends you have grown up with over the past years. You are normal, there is no doubt in my mind, just going through a period of changes. Hope you feel better soon xx
freckleface
08-11-2009, 15:55
I'm 15. still in secondary school.
I'm 15. still in secondary school.
Then you will be stressed out getting good marks for your exams next year or so. Also, you are turning into a young woman and your hormones will be all over the place. I remember feeling out of place when I was 15 and I am sure others on here will remember that feeling too. There are so many pressures on young people and everybody copes a bit different. You are not alone in the way you are feeling, I am sure. :) ((((f)))) Big hug for freckleface
I'm 15. still in secondary school.
I remember feeling like you do in my early to mid teens. It got so much worse during winter with the short days that it was unbearable at times. Talking to someone really helped me. It doesn't really matter who it is, friend, teacher, school counsellor, family member etc. The important thing is that you don't keep what you're feeling to yourself.
I was diagnosed with a few serious long term illnesses when I was 15/16 so I do know what it's like to feel as if you can't do X, Y and Z or people don't get what you're feeling. I found a teacher who I really trusted and who I could talk to about what I was feeling. It wasn't easy (I'm a closed book) and it took a long time but he gave me the time to explain what I was thinking and feeling in my own way, which was anything from ten minutes to a whole day. Teachers aren't just taught how to plan lessons, teach and mark books. They're also pretty good at helping kids in need.
Feel free to pm me if you wish to talk more :)
freckleface
09-11-2009, 16:47
thanks guys.
felt a bit better but i've come back down again today.
specially since ive come home.
I'm alone and i suppose thats when i'm most dangerous.
i tried to purge and when i couldnt i started to cry.
i dont think that bein ill with a really bad cold doesn't help and the fact my drama GCSE is on friday is adding to the stress.
i feel so weak and helpless.
just want to go to sleep.
I was constantly depressed in my teens.. I was a fat awkward child and always but on this happy exterior but inside I was so depressed. It took me ages and ages but I got self confidence and it dramatically improved my life.
thanks guys.
felt a bit better but i've come back down again today.
specially since ive come home.
I'm alone and i suppose thats when i'm most dangerous.
i tried to purge and when i couldnt i started to cry.
i dont think that bein ill with a really bad cold doesn't help and the fact my drama GCSE is on friday is adding to the stress.
i feel so weak and helpless.
just want to go to sleep.
Please go see your doctor or talk to someone. If you can't explain how you feel, write it down.
freckleface
09-11-2009, 17:00
thanks guys.
felt a bit better but i've come back down again today.
specially since ive come home.
I'm alone and i suppose thats when i'm most dangerous.
i tried to purge and when i couldnt i started to cry.
i dont think that bein ill with a really bad cold doesn't help and the fact my drama GCSE is on friday is adding to the stress.
i feel so weak and helpless.
just want to go to sleep.
Please go see your doctor or talk to someone. If you can't explain how you feel, write it down.
I cant.
Theyll try and lock me up somewhere.
My mum thinks I'm doing it for attention. She doesnt understand.
She sees me as a failure for a daughter.
and she's right.
People are only sectioned in extreme cases where they present a considerable danger to themselves or others. It's not a decision made by just one person, at least two doctors have to agree that its in your best interests.
You don't need your parents consent to speak to a doctor alone and the doctor can only tell them if he thinks you don't understand the treatment he's offering or you pose a serious risk to yourself.
Why do you think you're a failure?
freckleface
09-11-2009, 17:13
i know i am.
all my friends are more pretty, better, cleverer than me.
im selfish and never think about anyone else.
i dont want to speak to my daughter because my mums friend works there and she would see me there.
I am sure you are just as pretty as any other girls, you are very clever with signatures on here, I can't even do them myself, so you are better and cleverer than me in this respect. We can't all be good at the same things, that is how we can learn from each other :) Why are you concerned about your mum's friend that you don't want to speak to your daughter?
freckleface
09-11-2009, 18:10
lol.
im feeling a bit better but really stuffed up with a cold
:(
suppose that dont help me.
I went to the doctors this morning. I scored highly on the questionnaire so he prescribed me citalopram. Go back in two weeks but it could take up to six weeks to feel any benefit.
The doctor was great, not like the others that I've seen at the practice, so I'll just see him from now on.
I went to the doctors this morning. I scored highly on the questionnaire so he prescribed me citalopram. Go back in two weeks but it could take up to six weeks to feel any benefit.
The doctor was great, not like the others that I've seen at the practice, so I'll just see him from now on.
Good luck with citalopram, I'm on it and it's helped a lot. There *may* be side effects but don't worry- they do go away.
I'd also advise you keep seeing the same doctor, as they'll get to know you better and know how you act and stuff; mine knows me so well that she knows if I say something like "I'm okay" then she should be worried....
Keep seeing him regularly too, it's really important in case you have a bad reaction (but you already probably knew!).
Good luck, and if you have any citalopram related questions just ask (or pm me :))
I went to the doctors this morning. I scored highly on the questionnaire so he prescribed me citalopram. Go back in two weeks but it could take up to six weeks to feel any benefit.
The doctor was great, not like the others that I've seen at the practice, so I'll just see him from now on.
Good luck with citalopram, I'm on it and it's helped a lot. There *may* be side effects but don't worry- they do go away.
I'd also advise you keep seeing the same doctor, as they'll get to know you better and know how you act and stuff; mine knows me so well that she knows if I say something like "I'm okay" then she should be worried....
Keep seeing him regularly too, it's really important in case you have a bad reaction (but you already probably knew!).
Good luck, and if you have any citalopram related questions just ask (or pm me :))
Thank you :) I actually feel worse now that I have a diagnosis and medication than I did this morning.
What's the best way to take it? I haven't had anything to eat this morning and I'm feeling really light headed and dizzy (took 10mg an hour ago, increase to 20mg next week). Is it better at bed time to help sleep or in the morning?
I'm struggling with what to tell my tutor. I'm supposed to be in a lab session but I just can't face talking to people. "I don't want to talk to people" isn't a good excuse. I'm actually finding it a huge problem to move from my current position on the chair so I've got no hope of going to my afternoon lecture.
Sorry for the long rant. I haven't experienced apathy towards education on this level before. Procrastination yes but distinct and severe lack of motivation is alien.
I will try to see the same doctor but he only works on a Tuesday morning. My doctors is an outreach student service so they only have one doctor on per surgery and each doctor only does one surgery per week. The main practice is about five miles away.
Unfortunately that can happen- putting a name to it makes it worse!
I've always been advised to take it in the morning, to take it at a similarish kind of time and I would probably take it with food; I always eat in the morning anyway, so I've not had much experience of taking it without food buuuut on occasion if I'm hungry then it isn't a pleasant experience! I would be surprised if they were giving you side effects already, but then again I had something like that and people told me that it couldn't be true!
Tell your tutor that you're struggling a bit at the moment, and have been diagnosed with depression, you don't have to tell them any more than that, but that's basically what I told mine and they were okay about it. If you don't mind me asking, how long has it been going on for?
Don't worry about ranting; I don't mind :)
Wow, that doctors system sounds really complicated. Not entirely sure I understand it, but hopefully you'll be able to see him again!
It's been going on for about six years, on and off. This is the first time I've been to the doctor about it, although I did speak to my gp from home on the phone last year who said it was stress. When I'm stressed I usually shout and throw things. This is a quiet and lingering feeling.
I've just reached the point where I've had enough of feeling like this, not being able to sleep, being in pain etc. I didn't even say much to the doctor, I said I was feeling sad and he said he could see it in my eyes.
Given my score on the PHQ 9 form, I should be having counselling as well but I refused it. I find it oppressive and the doctor agreed about the student counselling service. He said he can refer me elsewhere for other things if need be but I'll keep it as a very last resort.
When I finally get my room tidied (took me an hour to make the bed), I will have something to eat.
Ah, good old doctors and stress.
My doctor did everything the other way around: referrals galore and then I moved to uni and they were shocked that I hadn't been on medication. I really hope that they work for you. My uni medical centre had a specialist mental health worker, as well as the counselling service, but I guess that because yours is so far away that may not be offered.
There are other things available apart from counselling, but I guess in a way similar, for example psychological therapies, cbt, etc but I guess it comes down to personal preference. I hate my uni counselling service, but I found somewhere else, which was nicer... as well as being bundled around the NHS!
Good luck!
We have a mental wellbeing person who shares her time between the university and the hospital. Apparently she's really good. I had counselling when I was 16 and I hated it. I'm very masculine in that sense, I only ever talk about something if it is a huge problem.
I'm aware of other therapies and hoping this medication works.
freckleface
10-11-2009, 18:44
I dont mind talking to people, but as long as I dont know them.
I clam up infront of my friends, i suppose because I dont know them and also i feel like theyll judge me.
But online forums and such like this work well because I feel better not having to confront anyone personally.
I dont mind talking to people, but as long as I dont know them.
Have you thought about phoning or emailing the Samaritans (http://www.samaritans.org/)? They're open 24hrs a day and it's all confidential.
They have 202 branches that you can go in to as well. I didn't realise that there's a branch down my street until I looked on the website.
freckleface
20-11-2009, 18:24
I talked once to my old english teacher.
she was really nice and used to volunteer at samaritans.
but she left 2 years ago and i havent had the courage to speak to any one.
I cant even talk to my mum because she is threatening to make me go to the doctor because i'm not eating.
this would just be another excuse for her to take me to the doctors and them force me to eat.
*sigh*
I talked once to my old english teacher.
she was really nice and used to volunteer at samaritans.
but she left 2 years ago and i havent had the courage to speak to any one.
I cant even talk to my mum because she is threatening to make me go to the doctor because i'm not eating.
this would just be another excuse for her to take me to the doctors and them force me to eat.
*sigh*
Your mum is worried about your health, and she has reason.
I can't make you go to the doctor, but if I was your mum I would want to, too. But, I would want you to want help, too. It is important to see your mum as someone who loves and cares about you - she probably doesn't have a clue about what you are going through but really wants to help you and feels helpless herself.
You need to speak with someone you trust to try to help you feel better about yourself. Perhaps you could find another doctor and go without your mum?
I will tell you something that very few people know. I was bulimic from the ages of probably 17 - 22, it probably started when I was going through school exams, and continued the whole time I was at university and through my first job.
I was very slim and tall, and very concerned about my appearance - I never left the house without full make-up and I used to dress up to the nines when I went out with my friends. Most of my friends were quite a bit shorter than me, and I felt that I should be the same weight and same size as them - which is ridiculous really - I was nine inches taller than one of them.
I hid it totally from my mother, and to this day (I am 45) I have no idea if she knew or not.
I used to stuff my face and then make myself sick, that or I would be on the cambridge diet when I was already well below the ideal weight for my height.
When I see photos of myself from that time I hardly recognise myself, I was very glamorous and fake - I looked good and felt awful. I was always being stopped in Glasgow and London and asked if I wanted to be a model, I didn't but I felt that I looked so awful without the props I couldn't go out.
I was very unhappy, very insecure and very needy of reassurance.
When I was 22 I moved away from home, changed jobs and basically changed a lot. I met my husband for some reason I felt able to be myself with him, to doss about in jeans and not wear make up all the time and just get dressed up for a reason. I put on a bit of weight, I stopped making myself sick (partly because I felt ashamed and didn't want him to know) and I felt much happier.
This probably isn't what you want to hear but bulimia is not about being thin, it is about being unhappy and trying to find something about yourself that you can control.
I don't know what it is that you need to talk about, but you need to talk, and you need to find out what what the problem so you can work it out, move forward healthily.
Speak to your mum
xx
(BTW - purging is very, very bad for your teeth. You might not notice till later, but it is).
I'm with Trinity on this, unfortunately probably not what you want to hear but as someone who currently is trying to get out of this rut, it can really mess with you. Getting help, accepting there is a problem can be really difficult... There is a big link between food and mood, so the not eating may be causing you to feel depressed. I think Trinity can put it better than I can in terms of explaining it all, but don't be scared of getting help, every doctor I've seen has been nice :)
freckleface
21-11-2009, 13:39
Thanks guys, this is making me feel better.
I am really funny about purging as I dont want to ruin my teeth.
Ive never been a purger, and tbh i am glad i dont.
feeling better today as i had skating, i always feel better when i'm on the ice, it makes me feel free. I always feel like no-oen can touch me and i just love the experience.
Only down side is that i fell today badly and ive got a ice burn on my hand and ive bruised my ribs making it hard for me to move.
In quite a bit of pain and am on painkillers to numb it but that isnt helping with my mood.
Got coursework due in on friday and am really stressed about it but im trying to keep calm and not worry.
just taking everything one step at a time.
Also felt better last night, watching children in need, as it ade me realise that there are people out there who are worse off than me.
I saw the doctor again yesterday (feel like I spend my life there at the moment) and she sent me for a thyroid function blood test. I've had loads of TFTs before but not linked to depression. The last TFT I had was in April (I have a full screen for everything about once a year) and it was normal.
I found out a few days ago that one of my friend's is a psychiatrist (how I didn't know before I don't quite understand) so I'm asking him what the link is.
Really not liking taking the citalopram, it's making me feel awful. Can't change for another two weeks as it can take at least six weeks to start working.
EDIT: Just spoken to my psych friend and he says that thyroid and depression can either be linked, entirely separate or thyroid malfunction can be a result from lithium treatment for depression. They can exist at the same time but not have a cause/effect on each other. Thyroid testing is routine.
Thyroid tests can be linked to depression as a thyroid malfunction can cause tiredness, thus some of the signs of depression.
I hope it either starts to work or you can change to something better soon! I know what you mean about spending your life at the doctors- sometimes last year I was there 3 times a week- I wanted a season ticket!
I was really upset when I went yesterday. Things haven't been good this week and I've been having some really dark thoughts. I spoke to a friend on Wednesday night and he was really concerned so I said I'd see the doctor on Thursday.
The way my doctors at uni works is one doctor does one surgery (morning or afternoon) per week so you never see the same doctor twice unless you go in a specific surgery. I haven't seen the doctor who diagnosed me since as he is on holiday so Friday I saw a really nice doctor and yesterday I saw a woman.
I don't think she understood just how unhappy I was/am. I said I wanted to change medication as it isn't doing anything and I thought the suicidal thoughts were a side effect (it does say several times in the leaflet about suicidal thoughts in under 25s). She said as long as I don't act on them, go see a counsellor and stay on the medication until my next review in two weeks. Not at all helpful or reassuring. I was given the option of changing meds on Friday so I don't see why I couldn't change yesterday.
I had two days where I couldn't see the wood for the trees, so to speak. I sent some pretty nasty emails to a friend and I honestly don't know why.
Kirsty :]
05-12-2009, 00:37
Abigail I really hope you feel better soon, you deserve to be happy :) bad things shouldn't happen to good people it's just wrong.
I'm confused, I've actually been on a massive high the past week or 2, and suddenly everything seems to have hit rock bottom again this week. All my feelings of "whats the point" and feeling bad for even waking up, and the thoughts of bad things have returned, I can't sleep properly, and I just feel like I've lost control over everything. I just don't know what to do anymore. It's weird that I know deep down my family adore me and would do anything for me, and my friends are always there too... but I feel so isolated and lonely. I don't want to be around anyone, just rather be in my room on my own.
Kirsty, have you been back to see the doctor?
Has anything happened in the past few days that has made you crash?
Kirsty :]
05-12-2009, 00:57
No, I didn't think I should because I've been fine for a week or so.
Well I guess so, there's more confusion over where I used to work and my hopes of them re-opening have kind of been crushed, I've also taken my car off the road because I can't afford to run it at the moment.. everythings slipping away
If you continue to feel like this, you should go back and see someone. I put it off for years and really regret not getting help earlier. Most doctors are sympathetic and will listen to how you're feeling and what you want to happen. There's many different types of therapy and medication and you don't have to have either or both if you don't want. The course of treatment is entirely up to you.
Kirsty :]
05-12-2009, 01:19
I'll see how I feel next week, I just don't want to tell my family. I feel like a complete let down as it is, by explaining how I really feel will make me feel worse, I've always been known by anyone thats ever come across me as "happy, bubbly smiley Kirsty". I think my Nan has cottoned on to the fact that I'm not very happy, everyday she asks if I'm okay, and that I don't seem very happy, if she asks again, I will just let her know that I'm not feeling the best, I hope she understands that. I remember a few years ago though, I wans't myself, but my Nan knew and got really worried as my Grandads niece had manic depression and took her own life... my Nan was prepared to keep me house bound so she could keep her eye on me and that's the last thing I want is to be kept an eye on.
I completely understand that you don't want to be wrapped up in cotton wool. At the end of the day, your family love and care about you and they won't want to see you struggle. If your nan is asking if you're ok, she's obviously picked up that something's not right. Talk to her about how you're feeling, she'll want to help in whatever way she can. From what you've said before about her, your nan sounds like an amazing person.
Depression and low mood are caused by an imbalance of chemicals in the brain, it's nobody's fault that you feel like this. Depression and manic depression are two very different illnesses.
I've just sent my mum an email to tell her that I'm on anti depressants. I didn't want my family to know but as I've gradually told close friends, I now feel able to tell my mum. I honestly don't know how she's going to react but I know that she loves me and is going to drive me up the wall when I go home by constantly asking how I am. The support of my family is what I need at the moment, especially as I will be away from my friends for about a month. And it might just save me from killing my mother over Christmas :p
Hannelene
05-12-2009, 11:56
I have suffered with depression for the last 5 years.
I have had been on anti depressants on and off and it all started for me when I went to enter uni some years back. I just couldn't handle the stress and missing my family that I just crumpled :(
Since then I have managed to cope with distance learning and holding down a job but I find it hard to be in the company of others at times or find people that I can just be me with. Everyone can at times expect so much out of me and want me to be the life and soul of the party at all times and I can put on a front when needed :(
Depression is nothing to be laughed at and there is no magic cure but for me exercise works keeps my mind busy and stops me having low dark periods.
Chloe O'brien
06-12-2009, 00:37
I sm one of the lucky ones. I haven't suffered from depression but I have withnessed it in my family. My sister had six nervous breakdowns in five years down to having her kids taken into care because they had been sexually abused. This happened 2o years ago and the scars are still raw. But those kids have turned into wonderful and beautiful adults.
I don't pretend to know what many of you are going through but I plead with you to talk to someone and get support. I understand that it is difficult to speak to family members on how you are feeling. But please don't bottle it up. There are many friends on here who will give a shoulder to cry on if you don't want to talk to strangers but please don't suffer in silence.
My mum didn't say much, just that citalopram can take six weeks to work. Well she'd know as she takes it herself. I'm quite pleased that she didn't tell me to go home or tell me what I should be asking the doctor.
My close friends know all the bad stuff, they bear the brunt of it when I'm in a dark mood and they're amazing. My family know the bare minimum and boring stuff like medication. I find it easier that way as I don't trust my family not to talk about stuff to other people.
There's so much support available. You can self-refer to your school, college or university counsellor. It's free and the waiting lists are much shorter than the NHS counsellors. You don't have to see a doctor and it's confidential.
If you go through your GP and you're 18 or under, you might be referred to CAMHS (child and adolescent mental health services). I saw a psychologist through CAMHS and they're brilliant people. Waiting lists are very long though.
Don't let things get to the point where you can't cope. It's not worth wasting the best years of your life feeling awful and thinking the worst of yourself. There is help available.
freckleface
06-12-2009, 16:19
I understand what you mean. My parents dont believe me when I mention how I feel. Last time, my mu just told me that I was not the only one with problems and that I was over exaggerating and seekign attention.
And now she asks why I never speak to her. Why I never tell her anymore. Why I prefer to talk to people I dont know than my own mother.
My friends are my support though. They dont know the depths of my feelings, but they help me when i'm feeling low. They try and cheer me up and are the closest people to me.
I'm doing well so far I feel, xmas blues havent got me again like last year and so far I am looking forward to next year. Trying to put exams and stress out of my mind and think abotu the positive.
Kirsty :]
10-12-2009, 22:35
I've had a really high 2 days, been very happy. I've crashed again today. I don't know what to do anymore. I didn't realise how many people have picked up on it, even my Mums best friend could tell I was down. I feel like I'm completely losing my mind. I've lost control of everything. I feel completely worthless, like I can't achieve anything, I'm all over the place, I just wnat to get myself out of this, I can't face the doctors, or my family, and my friends don't understand when I'm trying to explain how I feel and make it one big joke. I can't get to sleep at night, because deep down it means I ahve to wake up the next day, so if I don't sleep, I don't have to worry about trying to start again, and then I can't get up because I'm so overtired and can't be bothered with the rest of the day because it ends up like every other.. down the drain.
I've had a really high 2 days, been very happy. I've crashed again today. I don't know what to do anymore. I didn't realise how many people have picked up on it, even my Mums best friend could tell I was down. I feel like I'm completely losing my mind. I've lost control of everything. I feel completely worthless, like I can't achieve anything, I'm all over the place, I just wnat to get myself out of this, I can't face the doctors, or my family, and my friends don't understand when I'm trying to explain how I feel and make it one big joke. I can't get to sleep at night, because deep down it means I ahve to wake up the next day, so if I don't sleep, I don't have to worry about trying to start again, and then I can't get up because I'm so overtired and can't be bothered with the rest of the day because it ends up like every other.. down the drain.
You need to face the doctors and get help. Sometimes it just is too hard to get through things on your own, and there is no shame in needing help.
Remember that depression is an illness, you wouldn't feel bad about having the 'flu..
I absolutely agree with Holly Trinity, please get help from the doctors.
freckleface
11-12-2009, 15:55
I understand how you feel, Ive had the same problems.
People can tell you go to the doctors, but they dont realise how hard it is.
Try and concentrate on the positives, I know it isnt very helpful, but its what Ive done to try and get me through.
When Im having one of my bad days, where I wont get out of bed and feel like crying, i put some of my loudest dance music on and dance around my room, making a complete fool of myself but lifting my spirits, even if only for a little while.
I also like making lists. I spose this is where my ocd for tidiness and everything being organised comes into it, but I find that by making lists of things that Im looking forward to helps. They dont have to be major events, I made one a few days ago whcih had things like "looking forward to eating my frosties for breakfast" :P
And, with the sleeping, I also understand how you feel, but it is contributing to your mood. Your in a snowball effect and its only going to keep getting worse. Try and sleep, think of it as the only place where youll be at peace from it all. You can take a chance to forget about it all, and hopefully youll wake up with a fresher take on things.
If none of this helps, even just a little bit then you should try speak to your doctor, mum or dad or friends. They are there for you and they do understand even if it doesn't seem like it.
xxx
I find that when I feel stressed out I take St Johns Wort herbal tablets, after a couple of weeks I feel much better to cope with life. Perhaps you can take them, a doctor recommended them to me and because they are herbal, you don't feel drugged up to the eyes.
Just a point of information, you can't take St Johns Wort with some anti-depressants. Don't know why (suspect something to do with serotonin) but check the labels before you take them.
I don't take anti depressants, only St Johns Wort, they do the job for me. I would always advise to check with a doctor whether they are suitable to take if somebody is on medication already.
sean slater
13-12-2009, 23:41
Not exactly the same subject but I wanted to talk about Social anxiety.
Basically im at the end of my tether. I've been suffering with this problem ever since I can remember, but it has felt worse over the last few weeks.
I finished University in June and ive moved back in with my mum, and i've gone back to the same job. It feels like ive taken a step backwards, and I cant really see it changing (even though I am supposed to be going to London in April to do a journalism course, I have no motivation whatsoever).
Everyone is nice in work, but I have felt a change lately. I don't think people like me. I find myself being moody all the time, and constantly thinking about what other people think. Even when i'm not in work i'm thinking of the people in work, and what it will feel like when i go into work. I doubt myself all the time, even though ive been working there 3 years and I know what i'm doing. I havent built up any solid friendships with anyone. Everyone has fun in the job, but I always concentrate on working and I dont like it when people are chatting and messing around.
I had a thing with a guy I work with a few months ago and now he's sleeping with my boss, thats extra awkward, cos I havent told anyone, havent spoken to him about it, it's like a big thing hanging over my head! I have no proper friends, even though i have developed a couple lately there not ones i see all the time. I wouldnt feel comfortable ring them up if i had a problem.
freckleface
21-12-2009, 15:56
I hate christmas.
ffs.
Its one of these "life just takes the piss sometimes " moods.
feeel so down.
nothing is going rigth anymore.
even my ********** music wont play without jamming!
I am going to smash something in A MINUTE!!
:wall:
Take a deep breath.
If you can lie down for 10 minutes and close you eyes, just concentrate on your breathing and nothing else - empty your mind of all thoughts.
Christmas is a bad time for a lot of people, the hype is such that you feel that everyone is have a spectacularly wonderful time, except you.
Believe me they are not.
I hope that you feel better soon, be happy to feel better, don't expect miracles, just small improvements.
Take care
x
DaVeyWaVey
22-12-2009, 21:53
I'm really sorry to hear of the people who are suffering from depression. There are times when you just want to stay in your bed all day, with your head under the covers and your door shut. I've been there and I know it's not pleasant.
But please if you feel like this, seek some help. Even if it's just a call to the Samaritans, having somebody listen to you will do you the world of good. It'll take a massive weight off your shoulders and sometimes, it's good when you can talk to a stranger as they won't be judgemental and will stay neutral to what you tell them.
If you aren't feeling happy, then take action and change it. We only live once and life is too short. Because you can all get better, feel happier and fight this terrible condition off.
Meds started to work in the last 7-10 days, around the time of losing a friend. Not quite sure how that worked out, whether the meds just took five weeks to work for me or if shedding the stress was what I needed. I wouldn't say I'm 100% happier but things are a lot brighter.
I've found a new over the counter sleep aid called Sominex which works far better than Nytol or Kalms. One tablet and I slept right through, no dreams and no drowsiness the next day.
The meds make me sleepy in the afternoon and wide awake in the early hours. I've been trying to move the time I take them from morning to afternoon but I find myself needing them. Haven't figured out if that's a psychological thing where I'm scared not to take them or if my body needs them.
I second what Dave, Trinity, Perdita and everyone else has said here: go see a doctor. There's so much that can be done and mental illness shouldn't carry the social stigma that it does. One in three people have experienced a depressive episode at some point during their life, approximately twenty million people in England alone. Mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of, most of the time it is idiopathic (i.e. no specific cause such as bereavement, trauma or bullying) and it's NOT your fault.
The first time you go it is hard to convey how you feel and make the doctor understand, I don't deny that. It does get easier though. It's worth it in the long run to get things sorted as soon as you realise you have a problem. I waited seven years to see a doctor and regret not going sooner. I wasted my teenage years when I should have been out with friends having fun, and my first year of uni.
Hope they continue working, good luck. Sometimes stress relief can help. My friend swears by sominex too! I've never taken it, seems to be good stuff though!
As others have said, do get help. You shouldn't have to suffer for ages when something can be done.
Kirsty :]
23-12-2009, 19:18
I hate Christmas. I hate the snow. I hate feeling lonely this time of year, seeing couples walking around town just makes me feel sick. Gosh I feel like a scrooge.
I'm quite worried, last night at the pub my "friend" (if you can call him that for what he did) took my phone and read my text messages, when I took it off him, when I finally realised, he was reading a text that I had sent to a friend about the way I was feelign recently and I'm just scared of what he may have found out. :(
I'm quite worried, last night at the pub my "friend" (if you can call him that for what he did) took my phone and read my text messages, when I took it off him, when I finally realised, he was reading a text that I had sent to a friend about the way I was feelign recently and I'm just scared of what he may have found out. :(
I've been there. The best thing you can do is talk to him, hopefully you're quite close to him? I found him reading my blog (which is about depression), which was quite unsettling, but later text him to say I wish you hadn't done that. Thankfully I trust him a lot, so I knew he wouldn't tell anyone; do you trust this friend? As it's in quotation marks, is he not really a friend?
Personally, I'd hope he wouldn't tell no matter how good a friend he is- I see it as something that no-one would really be interested in and therefore not make good gossip. That's just me however! Hope nothing too bad happens!
Kirsty :]
23-12-2009, 21:00
I say "friend" because a friend shouldn't take your phone and read through your text messages, I just find it really rude.
We are kind of close, you can talk about whatever with him... but this whole "being down" situation has been sniffed out by a few of my friends, and him being one of them... but thing is, they see it as a big joke, and always make really horrible jokes about me being suicidal/hurting myself. I'm kind of in 2 minds whether or not I should say anyting to him.
I say "friend" because a friend shouldn't take your phone and read through your text messages, I just find it really rude.
We are kind of close, you can talk about whatever with him... but this whole "being down" situation has been sniffed out by a few of my friends, and him being one of them... but thing is, they see it as a big joke, and always make really horrible jokes about me being suicidal/hurting myself. I'm kind of in 2 minds whether or not I should say anyting to him.
Your friends don't sound very mature or helpful if they're joking around about it. Perhaps you should say something sarcastically and hope they get it then leave off?
Grr. I'm annoyed at myself. Haven't been getting up until 1pm this week so I've been about six hours late with my meds. Today I feel awful and restless. The lack of daylight and vitamin D probably doesn't help either.
I was doing so well and now I've ballsed it up. Idiot.
At least you acknowledge that you took your meds at the wrong time because you had a lie-in. Can you get back on track quickly by getting up just to take your meds and then going back to bed? Hope you feel better soon. xx
I do need to get up earlier than 1pm anyway. I'm wasting half the day. Going to bed an hour earlier would mean I get up about 10am. As my mum would say, I'm all to pot with it.
Good luck with getting back into the swing of it, but don't blame yourself too much- we all deserve holidays (and I'm not sure if it impacts *that* much about taking them at the same time... I don't think there's a problem with half lives like there is with some!
DaVeyWaVey
01-01-2010, 16:42
I think I might have depression but I want to feel good throughout 2010. I'm such a wreck right at this moment. I've just wanted to chat to somebody about it. I hate admitting it and I won't be going to a doctor.
Xx-Vicky-xX
01-01-2010, 16:49
I think I might have depression but I want to feel good throughout 2010. I'm such a wreck right at this moment. I've just wanted to chat to somebody about it. I hate admitting it and I won't be going to a doctor.
If you ever wanna chat ya can chat to me on msn and i am sure plenty of other people will be happy to talk to you from here aswell. You aren't alone
Oh Davey, I'm sorry to hear this. I'm around and will be on and off all night if you want to PM me. I know the feeling of wanting a year to be good, hopefully it will pick up- if you can nip it in the bud sooner rather than later that'll most definitely help you.
I am also happy to provide a listening ear :)
DaVeyWaVey
01-01-2010, 22:18
Thanks for the offers of listening.
I've spoken to my mum about how i've been feeling and she said she hopes I don't go down the same route that my nan and auntie have gone down - they have both been diagnosed with depression in the past and have been on anti depressants before.
CrazyLea
01-01-2010, 22:27
Yeah we are all here for you Davey, whenever you want a chat, just PM or FB.. and I'll be there to listen to you.
Thanks for the offers of listening.
I've spoken to my mum about how i've been feeling and she said she hopes I don't go down the same route that my nan and auntie have gone down - they have both been diagnosed with depression in the past and have been on anti depressants before.
Did they have a bad experience with them? I'm not advocating this but you could always not tell your parents (what I've done). Have you tried counselling or anything? If you visit the doctor you may be surprised- they may have something else you could try; I've heard that sometimes they try and put you on anti depressants straight off, but I've never had that experience, they've always sent me to speak to someone before they tried meds.
Whatever you do, good luck and I'm here if need be.
Did they have a bad experience with them? I'm not advocating this but you could always not tell your parents (what I've done). Have you tried counselling or anything? If you visit the doctor you may be surprised- they may have something else you could try; I've heard that sometimes they try and put you on anti depressants straight off, but I've never had that experience, they've always sent me to speak to someone before they tried meds.
Whatever you do, good luck and I'm here if need be.
It depends on your age, how long you've had depression and how bad it is as to what course of treatment is recommended. The Department of Health guidelines don't allow under 18's to be prescribed anti-depressants without trying counselling first and even then unless it is absolutely necessary.
If its something new (i.e. you haven't had depression before and it's developed over a few months) and isn't severe (google PRQ9 form) they usually go for counselling first. You don't have to have counselling, you can opt for medication. For long term depression medication is usually offered along with counselling.
I'm supposed to be having counselling as well but I'm resisting at the moment. I know I should go, it's free and there's no waiting list but I find it oppressive. I've had counselling before and it did more harm than good.
I'm having lots of dreams at the moment and acting them out. It's back to literally jumping out of bed because there's spiders crawling all over me (like last night) or stroking the imaginary cat on the bed whilst in a lucid trance like state. And I'm dreaming about the same two people every night. Separate dreams and different dreams each time but the same two people for the last week. I find them comforting though so I don't want them to stop. Just the cat and the spider ones need to stop before I start sleepwalking again :p I'm not stressed so I don't know what's causing it.
DaVeyWaVey
01-01-2010, 23:08
Did they have a bad experience with them? I'm not advocating this but you could always not tell your parents (what I've done). Have you tried counselling or anything? If you visit the doctor you may be surprised- they may have something else you could try; I've heard that sometimes they try and put you on anti depressants straight off, but I've never had that experience, they've always sent me to speak to someone before they tried meds.
Whatever you do, good luck and I'm here if need be.
My nan and auntie were put on them and then they were slowly taken off the pills when they were feeling better, but my mum said they were on them for a while..it just makes me wonder if it runs in the family or something? because i don't understand why i'm feeling like this. I haven't been to the doctors at all and I've not tried counselling. There really isn't much to say, I don't think. If i ever went to the doctors, I don't think I'd tell my parents. I hate keeping secrets, but it would only worry them.
I'm supposed to be having counselling as well but I'm resisting at the moment. I know I should go, it's free and there's no waiting list but I find it oppressive. I've had counselling before and it did more harm than good.
I'm having lots of dreams at the moment and acting them out. It's back to literally jumping out of bed because there's spiders crawling all over me (like last night) or stroking the imaginary cat on the bed whilst in a lucid trance like state. And I'm dreaming about the same two people every night. Separate dreams and different dreams each time but the same two people for the last week. I find them comforting though so I don't want them to stop. Just the cat and the spider ones need to stop before I start sleepwalking again :p I'm not stressed so I don't know what's causing it.
Re: counselling; every counsellor is different- not saying you have to go but remember that- I've had some awful ones and some brilliant ones too.
About the dreams, it may be citalopram causing them; I think it's in the side effects. If they're a problem I'd ask to change, but I suspect it's the meds more than anything else.
My nan and auntie were put on them and then they were slowly taken off the pills when they were feeling better, but my mum said they were on them for a while..it just makes me wonder if it runs in the family or something? because i don't understand why i'm feeling like this. I haven't been to the doctors at all and I've not tried counselling. There really isn't much to say, I don't think. If i ever went to the doctors, I don't think I'd tell my parents. I hate keeping secrets, but it would only worry them.
I think currently there is research being done about whether it is genetic, I know for bipolar there has been some research to prove this.
Good luck with whatever you decide
My nan and auntie were put on them and then they were slowly taken off the pills when they were feeling better, but my mum said they were on them for a while..it just makes me wonder if it runs in the family or something? because i don't understand why i'm feeling like this. I haven't been to the doctors at all and I've not tried counselling. There really isn't much to say, I don't think. If i ever went to the doctors, I don't think I'd tell my parents. I hate keeping secrets, but it would only worry them.
If it helps Davey, I'll tell you my situation.
My mum has depression, one of my sisters does. My mum have three brothers and four sisters. Two of her sisters have attempted suicide multiple times (one severe clinical depression, the other post natal), the other two sisters have had depression in the past. One of her brothers has depression. Out of nine kids (one is dead so eight really) six have mental health problems. My nana (mum's mum) is just a complete psycho. I haven't seen her for three years; she has delusions, manic phases, phases of extreme nastiness, she says things then a few minutes later denies she said it. She has a serious mental illness (my guess is schizophrenia) but refuses to let the doctor examine her. She chased the doctor out of the house with a carving knife. I have about 30 cousins so I don't know all the details but one family, children of the severe clinical depression and attempted suicide, one daughter has depression and self harms, the other has an eating disorder.
I believe that something makes people predisposed to depression. Some families are relatively mental illness free whereas others suffer quite badly. You can treat mental illness and recover from it but it can't be cured. Some people may disagree with me but I'm speaking from experience; I've on my fifth bout in seven years. There's not many roads I haven't gone down but I can tell you that medication has helped me enormously. There comes a point where you can't take it any more and you have two options. I made the right choice this time but five years ago I didn't.
If you do want someone to talk to away from SB and your friends, your university should have a counsellor. It's free and you don't need a referral from the doctor. If you ever find yourself in a really dark spot one day and you don't have anyone to talk to, go see them or ring Samaritans. The Samaritans are brilliant, they don't force you to talk about what's you your mind until you're ready. You can talk about the weather if you like.
I feel so conflicted and insecure right now :hmm: I'm dreaming about one person constantly, every dream I have every night he's there. I think I should go see him but that would open an emotional can of worms. I have nobody else though and he hasn't replied to any of my emails over the past year. Sure he's busy and he might have changed his email address but perhaps I shouldn't go. I'm not his concern any more. On the other hand, he's still the only person who knows what I'm thinking without me saying it and who knows me better than anyone.
The second confliction is one that I still haven't told my doctor about. I know I really need to because I need to stop but I don't want to admit it. I don't particularly like lying to him but its so engrained I can't help it.
Oh what to do.
freckleface
07-01-2010, 18:31
I'm feeling okay at the moment.
Snow has made me feel happy, it's just so beautiful to look at:)
and my new iPod has let me get so distracted that I have been distracted from my problems, and I haven't let myself have time to think about it.
only problem is my sleeping, I'm doing so much during the day to keep my mind busy that I'm exhausted when I go to bed but I'm not sleeping. And when I do, i keep getting these really wierd dreams that are freaking me out, and i can't even remember what they're about, which scares me even more. My mum woke me up one night because I was screaming really loudly in my sleep.
and also, one of my friend's (a guy, who i am really close to) has started claiming he has an eatign disorder. At first he started to make fun of me, by at lunch sayign "Oh, i'm not eating because I ate at lunch, i ate it in some lesson none of you are in" or rifling through my bag and demanding i eat my lunch so loudly the whole table hears and gets involved.
Now he's not eating and boasting about it going "omg i weighed myself AGAIN last night for the 4th time adn i dropped a pound. But then I had an apple and felt sooo fat." or "no, i'm not eating, I don't want to, you can't make me, that's what Georgie always says"
its making me feel realy upset because he's poking fun at me and we were really good friends (at one point, I nearly asked him out) and he's one of my closest frineds and he knows everythign about me, but he's met this new girl and this has all happened since he's started going out with her. She doesn't like me, and makes fun of me too.
But i feel like he's going to tell my secrets to everyone.
It makes me feel really horiible with him taking the mickey out of me, especially as I was slowly starting to come around out of it. But now, his comments are hurting me adn I can see that slowly I'm sinking back in, which will just give him (and his girlfriend) more ammunition...
Don't let this so-called friend drag you down again, you have come so far. I would avoid him and his girlfriend, they are not friends if they are making fun of you. You are worth better than that :)
freckleface
07-01-2010, 19:03
thank you, I'll try. It's hard though because I've known him for years and his mum and my mum are friend's too. he also texts me and speaks to me on fb and msn all the time, then when i tired to speak to him about it, he turned it round making me feel like it was my fault
Can you just be polite to him on fb and msn but not have much to do with him otherwise? The less you have to do with him, the less he can turn things round to make you look bad
freckleface
22-01-2010, 22:04
Oh my god, mylife is spiralling out of control. I don't know what I'm feeling and I've been such a cow. I can't see through this jumble of darkness and it's scaring me. I just dumped my bf on his 16th and I font even know why. I suddenly felt so scared and wanted to cry. I don't want to hurt him because he is the most genuine nicest guy I've ever met but now I know he's going to hate me and I don't know what to do! Everything seems to much and I just want it all to stop. I want to cry and I need someone to talk too but I don't have anyone. I just want to get away from everything, from me and my life
Sweetheart, have you got anybody with you? YOu need to talk to somebody, either on the phone or in person. If there is nobody around call Samaritans, google their phone number. pm me, I will listen to you
Things can be worked out, believe me, I am sure we can help you :)
Chloe O'brien
22-01-2010, 22:37
Freckles you need to talk to someone to get some support. Is there not a young peoples counciling service available at your school. or doctors surgery.
I really do recommend Samaritans (http://www.samaritans.org/talk_to_someone.aspx) if you have nobody around to talk to. Their contact details are at the top of every page. You can phone, email, write or drop into one of their centres. You don't have to give your name or location, you don't even have to speak about what's bothering you if you don't want to. If you want to talk about the weather, that's fine. There's no requirement or expectations to talk about anything and you can hang up at any time.
Please talk to somebody, whether its on here, a friend or a Sam.
freckleface
27-01-2010, 20:19
Thank you guys, I'm feeling better now.
Spoke with my sister, she's in Uni in Plymouth at the moment, but I rang her up and we had a long chat. Nice to hear her voice adn she helped me.
And friends are keeping my spirits up now, keeping focused on the future, and trying to be positive.
tammyy2j
28-01-2010, 15:53
Thank you guys, I'm feeling better now.
Spoke with my sister, she's in Uni in Plymouth at the moment, but I rang her up and we had a long chat. Nice to hear her voice adn she helped me.
And friends are keeping my spirits up now, keeping focused on the future, and trying to be positive.
thats good to hear its good to talk to anyone sometimes
DaVeyWaVey
30-01-2010, 21:52
Not been too bad lately. Been going out a lot. Keep doing this test and it says I have moderate depression. It's just an online test though. I keep a blog now. I'd post it on here but I don't want to be all 'me me me' and the centre of attention all the time.
I realise I am lucky in life. I know I am. I just don't seem to have any hobbies anymore. I can't concentrate when I read. My mind wanders and I'm just aimlessly thinking about nothing. I try and write but I can't. I try and do something but it never lasts. I want my blog to last for a long time and this is something I'm aiming for - to write a blog every day. It's funny though. Everyone thinks I'm fine. I just do funny things to not show it. I used to post lots on this forum too, but lost motivation to do that too.
Have you done a PHQ-9 Test, Davey? That's the one doctors use, and perhaps more representative than some online ones? I can't remember whether you didn't want to go to the docs or not, but it may be worth a try. Good luck with the blog, I'm surprised how long mine has lasted, it's probably the thing I've stuck to for the longest... ever! I know what you mean about people thinking you're fine, no-one ever believed/s me!
DaVeyWaVey
30-01-2010, 22:41
I haven't done the PHQ-9 test but I might try it later and see what it says. I did the Goldberg test, created by some American psychologist.
Thanks. It's something I want to stick at.
DaVeyWaVey
01-02-2010, 16:25
I scored 11 on the phq-9 test, giving me a minor-moderate result. Recommended treatment - support from my doctor, anti depressants or therapy.
I scored 11 on the phq-9 test, giving me a minor-moderate result. Recommended treatment - support from my doctor, anti depressants or therapy.
Davey.. I just did it now and i scored 16 but I am not what I would call depressed.. I am more stressed than I usually am..
wow, i've struggled to find a version online, I swear there used to be one on patient UK.
It can, as Siobhan's found manage to diagnose anyone, but I think to complete it in the first place, you may have cause for concern- Maybe a doctor could help; not to throw meds or whatever at you, but then you'd at least have a proper diagnosis.
How can you get hold of the phq-9 test?
Kirsty :]
01-02-2010, 20:01
I just did the PHQ-9 test and scored 18.
I found mine here http://muskie.usm.maine.edu/clinicalfusion/DHHS/phq9.pdf
I've not been so bad lately, I don't think.. not until this week anyways, I know it's natural for womens hormones to be all over the place when they're due on/are on. But surely I shouldn't feel THIS bad to the point where I don't want to go out or speak to anyone or do anything at all.
;705376']I just did the PHQ-9 test and scored 18.
I found mine here http://muskie.usm.maine.edu/clinicalfusion/DHHS/phq9.pdf
I've not been so bad lately, I don't think.. not until this week anyways, I know it's natural for womens hormones to be all over the place when they're due on/are on. But surely I shouldn't feel THIS bad to the point where I don't want to go out or speak to anyone or do anything at all.
If you feel like that you need to see a doctor. I think there's a type of depression which is specifically linked to the menstrual cycle.
Through personal experience, I would advise anyone who feels depressed for a prolonged period of time to speak to their gp.
I'm going to be totally honest and open here and whilst I haven't posted regularly for a long time, what I say might help you understand why to a degree.
Two months ago, my husband and best friend of almost 20 years walked out on me and my four sons. No explanation bar there not being another person involved, that he still loves me and the children, but we just "don't get on".
I have had several visits to my GP and am now on anti depressants and sleeping tablets. My life has literally been torn in two and I have no idea who I am anymore. Its early days on the anti-d's and they aren't miracle workers, and I feel a complete failure for having to go on them in the first place but after losing 2 stone in weight since September (1 and 1/2 of that since he left), and not sleeping for more than 3 hrs a night since he left, I have no real other option.
Depression is an illness, it can be treated through many ways, but speak to your GP and get any and all the help that they can offer you and that you need. Many women become depressed/emotional etc during the time when their period is due etc, but if you have a GP to talk to, they can help.
xxx
moonstorm
02-02-2010, 10:23
Hi JoJo, thank you for sharing that with us, that was very brave of you.
Taking anti-depressants is not a sign of failure, rather is it aknowledging there is a problem and doing something about it. That is much better than sticking your head in the sand and ignoring things because problems will not go away.
I really hope things get better for you soon.
xxxxxxx
I think the one linked to menstrual cycle is PMDD- pre menstrual dysphoric disorder. I'd see your doctor, as Abigail said.
There used to be a PHQ-9 on patient.co.uk which was interactive and calculated it for you, but I can no longer find it!
Jojo, I'm sorry to hear this. I hope they kick in soon.
I think the one linked to menstrual cycle is PMDD- pre menstrual dysphoric disorder.
I have had that for years.. mood swings, crying, depression once a month... I am just use to it now and thought there is nothing that can be done as it is just hormones.. I also get very agressive at times and yell at people for no reason... didn't realise you can get help for this.
DaVeyWaVey
02-02-2010, 13:56
Through personal experience, I would advise anyone who feels depressed for a prolonged period of time to speak to their gp.
I'm going to be totally honest and open here and whilst I haven't posted regularly for a long time, what I say might help you understand why to a degree.
Two months ago, my husband and best friend of almost 20 years walked out on me and my four sons. No explanation bar there not being another person involved, that he still loves me and the children, but we just "don't get on".
I have had several visits to my GP and am now on anti depressants and sleeping tablets. My life has literally been torn in two and I have no idea who I am anymore. Its early days on the anti-d's and they aren't miracle workers, and I feel a complete failure for having to go on them in the first place but after losing 2 stone in weight since September (1 and 1/2 of that since he left), and not sleeping for more than 3 hrs a night since he left, I have no real other option.
Depression is an illness, it can be treated through many ways, but speak to your GP and get any and all the help that they can offer you and that you need. Many women become depressed/emotional etc during the time when their period is due etc, but if you have a GP to talk to, they can help.
xxx
I am really sorry to hear of the tough times you have gone through JoJo. I noticed that you haven't posted much lately. Please feel free to speak to me on Facebook if you ever want too. I am willing to listen. Hope you make a recovery soon xxx
I have had that for years.. mood swings, crying, depression once a month... I am just use to it now and thought there is nothing that can be done as it is just hormones.. I also get very agressive at times and yell at people for no reason... didn't realise you can get help for this.
I think it depends on how bad it is; I've known people who's lives actually stop and sink into a deep depression around that time of the month, then are actually fine afterwards. Good old wikipedia explains here (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Premenstrual_dysphoric_disorder)
I think it depends on how bad it is; I've known people who's lives actually stop and sink into a deep depression around that time of the month, then are actually fine afterwards. Good old wikipedia explains here (\"http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Premenstrual_dysphoric_disorder\")
Thanks for this.. I have 5 or more of those every month, especially this one: lasting irritability or anger, increased interpersonal conflicts. Typically sufferers are unaware of the impact they have on those close to them
it is commented on at work that I can get very agressive and I don't even realise I have been
well i know im goin to sink deeper into depression next weekend - Valentines weekend :( i actually hate it, why do they need a day to celebrate love and all that crap? :( I wish there was a singles day, so single people can flaunt their independance in the faces of all those couples :( god i really dont want next weekend to come :(
well i know im goin to sink deeper into depression next weekend - Valentines weekend :( i actually hate it, why do they need a day to celebrate love and all that crap? :( I wish there was a singles day, so single people can flaunt their independance in the faces of all those couples :( god i really dont want next weekend to come :(
Bryan.. one of the best days I have had was when I was single on Valentines day... I worked out a simple logic.. All the couples are going to be out doing couple things like dinner, cinema etc.. so all the night clubs are fully of single people all looking for someone to spend Valentines night with... I met loads of single people and there was hugs and kisses going everywhere.. Brilliant night out I had.. better than any of the other valentines days I had as a couple
well i know im goin to sink deeper into depression next weekend - Valentines weekend :( i actually hate it, why do they need a day to celebrate love and all that crap? :( I wish there was a singles day, so single people can flaunt their independance in the faces of all those couples :( god i really dont want next weekend to come :(
I hate it too, and I'm meant to enjoy it because I'm in a relationship. Why is a day needed anyway, shouldn't you love someone all the time?! Hopefully it can pass for us both very quickly!
Bryan.. one of the best days I have had was when I was single on Valentines day... I worked out a simple logic.. All the couples are going to be out doing couple things like dinner, cinema etc.. so all the night clubs are fully of single people all looking for someone to spend Valentines night with... I met loads of single people and there was hugs and kisses going everywhere.. Brilliant night out I had.. better than any of the other valentines days I had as a couple
i agree with Siobhan there and the theme is
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5qx-MVrXfk
DaVeyWaVey
13-04-2010, 23:08
Not been too bad at the moment. I've had up and down moods. I feel on top of the world, then I'm on a downer. The one thing I never understand is how I could possibly feel down if everything is going OK for me. Everything in life is perfect, if I look at it from an objective point of view. But then there's something there that always clouds my brain and makes everything upsetting. I've avoided going to the doctors so far and I want it to stay that way.
The funny thing is people have said how "funny" I am, how I'm always really happy and my presence brings laughter to everyone and how things wouldn't be the same if I wasn't there... those are my flatmates' words to me, not mine! I even have an appreciation group for myself on Facebook lol which my flatmate created! and people have commented saying "legend" etc etc, and yes I like making people laugh but it's just when I'm on my own, I feel myself crumble a little bit. I would never ever dream of sharing this with the friends or family in my life, as I feel deeply ashamed when I feel down... that's why I always slap a smile on my face when I go out and face people. I crack jokes, appear confident... and it works!
moonstorm
14-04-2010, 08:16
Hi Davey, it seems as if you wont let yourself be happy that you feel as if you dont deserve it. Why cant you believe that all these people find you warm and funny? Is that not the real you or are you sticking on a mask everytime you go out?
I'm procrastinating so here's an update.
General mood is constantly up and down. Its annoying to be quite honest. I saw my doctor last week as I had a migraine and we ended up talking about my aversion techniques. Needless to say I wasn't in the mood so next week we're having a chat about my drinking. I'm not looking forward to it.
It doesn't take a genius to work out that there's a direct link between my alcohol and drug consumption and what's going on in my life at the moment. In the last six weeks I've had about seven days where I haven't had any mind/body altering substances (and that's not just because I'm a student).
I want to start some therapy to enable me to at least stop drug abuse. I'm not ready to stop drinking yet and I think its unreasonable to attempt it when I'm still a student and surrounded by alcohol every day. However I'm moving back home next weekend so I might have to put it on hold until October. Whilst my family GP is brilliant, I don't feel comfortable talking to him about my depression which is something of a problem. I would tell my uni doctor everything that I get up to but I know he documents everything in my notes and I suspect my family GP would tell my mum once he read these.
So I'm presented with a dilemma. Its taken me years to reach this point where I'm ready to get help but its come at the wrong time of year. I can't travel back to uni every week as its a three hour train journey. I don't want to transfer therapy when I'm finally getting somewhere so I guess its got to wait.
Abigail, your family GP is not allowed to tell your mum anything that's in your medical notes - he could get struck off if he did.
I know but he might let something slip. Its not that I don't trust him, I don't trust my mother not to ask questions as she seems him almost every week for something.
He's probably well used to dealing with nosy relatives and will be able to fend her off. I do understand why you're nervous about it though.
You're right, I'm probably worrying about nothing.
I noticed in the Shoutbox that you're going out tonight. Hope you have a good night and manage to forget your worries for a few hours :)
As Dazzle said, your doctor cannot say anything. I totally understant your worries though - I'm totally the same, so moving away was so good for me! Are you on any waiting lists for therapy? Last summer all I did was put things on hold, then about every month travel back for the day to see either the therapist or my psychiatrist or doctor, so people were always kept in the loop. Is that something possible for you?
I'm not on any waiting list at the moment. The doctor said he would refer me for any therapy I like and I was considering neuropsych as I did suffer a lot with pain before I started on meds. The pain how now almost gone so I think that was a physical side effect of depression. I refused any sort of counselling, I've seen a CAMHS psychologist about four years ago and I hated it.
I'm seeing my doctor next week. I don't know how long the waiting lists are around here (West midlands), if its a six month wait then I will ask him to refer me. I don't want to see the university counsellors as they're very generalised and focus on educational aspects rather than anything I need. I've been told this by several people that they are good for general stuff but for severe depression they're not much use.
My doctors surgery at uni is an outreach centre that only runs term time and we can only visit the main surgery if its an emergency (no idea what those who stay on do during the summer). The train fare is £30 return which I can't afford at the moment. I also can't do a return journey in one day as it makes me really ill.
Oh, okay, so that isn't really a posibility. I'm also in the west midlands, in Bham, and it isn't bad but it depends from place to place - whether NHS based or private but funded. As you said, you'd be best off speaking to the doctor as only they may know (although I've always been told at least 3 months).
Whatever happens, I know I need something. Either medication change/increase or therapy. I'm on a slippery destructive path and I just can't stop myself. I can't stop drinking on my own.
Is there any type of support you could get at home that isn't through your doctor?
I can't take these nightmares anymore. Last night I had four, every time I woke up and went back to sleep, another one would start. The last one started like a normal dream. It was part of a dream I've had before (they all start like this), then somebody told me that a bomb had gone off where my dad works. I rang him and he said he wasn't good and he was going to lose his head. I thought he said he would lose his leg at first so I asked him to repeat it. I misheard him the first time.
They're all about bombs going off, people being killed, stabbing people with knives, having a shoot-out without any ammunition, being trapped. The thing is, I can deal with people being killed, blood, guts and disfigurement when I'm awake. I love examining dead bodies and terrible injuries.
I was up and about at 8am this morning because I couldn't take any more nightmares. I don't want to go to sleep, they're getting worse each night. It must be the reduced Citalopram dose and I can't see my doctor until next Wednesday to get my regular prescription. Another 11 days of this is going to send me crazy. I'm so tired but I'm scared to sleep. I've tried amitryptaline (amongst other things), which helps a bit, but as I don't have a prescription for it I don't want to become dependant on it. My sleep is worse the next night so it doesn't help in the long run.
This afternoon I had my first depressive feelings in several months. I'm really worried that I'll be a jibbering wreck by next Wednesday and back to square one, all because I didn't get enough drugs to last. I know worrying won't help. I haven't told anybody about the nightmares, I feel embarrassed that I'm so scared I wake up crying, I get palpitations and a pounding headache. Sometimes they're so real, I get confused and don't know if something really happened or if it was just a dream.
I don't think I'll be able to stay awake much longer :(
Have you run out of citalopram? Normally you can take your white bit of the prescirption to a pharmacist and they can give you an emergency 3 day supply. May be worth a try, if the reduced dose wasn't intentional. Hope they go away soon, if this is what happens coming off or reducing dose, I'm rather worried!
Don't feel embarassed about the nightmares, Abigail: my mum gets exactly the same thing when she's depressed.
Have you tried over-the-counter sleep remedies? I don't know if they work 'cos I've never taken them, but it may be worth a try. Even if they put you in a slightly deeper sleep it may stop the nightmares.
I'll be thinking of you.
I've only just seen the two replies above. Thanks guys :) My old GP gave me a month's prescription to tide me over. He wasn't happy about the high dose and he wouldn't prescribe my migraine meds either, too much risk of serotonin syndrome. I saw my new GP when I got back and he gave me more plus migraine meds. OTC stuff doesn't help as I've built up a tolerance to them. Kalms, nytol, sominax are as useful as sweeties in aiding sleep.
Anywho. The nightmares stopped after a while then I started on Amitriptyline for migraine prevention and they started again. I wouldn't say they were as bad but they were certainly... strange. Its settled down over the past month as I've gotten used to them but I did have a strange dream last night.
Time to confess... I've stopped taking citalopram. I lost them for a few days last week in between leaving my mum's and getting home then when I found them, couldn't really be bothered to take them. I know the risks, I know I'll crash in a few days (usually happens around the 3-4 day, it's been 5 so far) but that doesn't make me want to take them. I will take them when I crash, I guess I'm testing myself to see how long that takes. I also spent the weekend incapable of doing anything as I was either high or coming down. That's probably why the crash hasn't happened yet as I was taking serotonergic drugs. I'd had a difficult week with my mother then lost the ADs, also had a really bad migraine Wednesday night and I was fed up. There was another court
I tried to book an appointment with my GP for tomorrow but he's not in until next Monday. *sigh* I need to see him about my kidneys so I've got an appointment. I'm fully expecting him to tell me that he spent the weekend getting high too! He tells me about how he got prescription drugs "from a friend" once for a bad back and he gets smashed at the weekend. Completely the opposite of what you'd expect from a doctor but at least I don't feel he's judging me when I tell him what I've done.
So yeah. Sleeping a lot, tired, not doing much work. Waiting for my chemicals to get fudged up again.
I'll be thinking of you, Abigail.
moonstorm
24-11-2010, 12:32
Hugs and Kisses Abigail, take it easy babes.
Thank you :) I think writing it all down cleared some things up for me. I realised I was being an idiot and starting taking the meds again. I've had a few mood swings today, I'm currently in the "you're annoying me" phase right now (that's a polite way of putting it) so I'm avoiding my house mates in case I blow up at them.
Tomorrow I have to go shopping for a new coat so I'm going to have some time to myself, maybe have dinner out and just relax.
DaVeyWaVey
27-11-2010, 23:13
I have mild depression... I don't tell many people, it's not something I like to talk about but I basically have good days and bad days. I've told one friend about it and now I'm telling people on here, I suppose.
You know I am always ready to listen to you, as will be many others :)
Chloe O'brien
27-11-2010, 23:35
Abigail I know you hate taking the medication I've seen friends and family ditch their meds and had relaps. It's hard I know but please don't stop them without speaking to the doctor. This is for you Davey and anyone else who is worried about deprssion. None of you are being a pain in the backside despite what you think. Not all of us have delt with depression in our lives but we care about you and we are here for you.
So, I've been trying to reply to this for about 24 hours now, but every time I want to write something, I struggle. I suspect it's more down to my own issues than a lack of words... Because I want to say it'll get better, and I always hope it does for anyone who's reading this. I originally wrote something longer, but I think it would be something counterproductive for the majority of people to read!
DaVeyWaVey
02-12-2010, 18:51
I'm afraid of going into work. I need to go in tomorrow but I'm so nervous about it I don't think I can do it. But if I don't do it, I feel like I'm letting everyone down.. I really don't want too. Basically I wash up in the kitchen at a secondary school. But every time I go, I am never quick enough at the work and the staff who are meant to do other work in the kitchen have to come in and help me. The boss has told me I need to be quicker. I try to be as quick as I can... and last time, I ended up snapping at a member of staff. I just feel like I can't face it. I feel like a very weak person because I can't face it.
Behemoth
09-12-2010, 23:37
I really hope you all feel better soon. Depression can be a terrible thing but it will get better. I don't fully understand your individual situations but please make sure you talk to somebody you love about this because they care about you and they will want to help you with all their heart.
I'm afraid of going into work. I need to go in tomorrow but I'm so nervous about it I don't think I can do it. But if I don't do it, I feel like I'm letting everyone down.. I really don't want too. Basically I wash up in the kitchen at a secondary school. But every time I go, I am never quick enough at the work and the staff who are meant to do other work in the kitchen have to come in and help me. The boss has told me I need to be quicker. I try to be as quick as I can... and last time, I ended up snapping at a member of staff. I just feel like I can't face it. I feel like a very weak person because I can't face it.
Have you tried talking to your boss and explaining that there's a limit to how fast you can go? Is your just solely washing up or could you change duties?
I'm still on anti - depressants, just need to remember to take them. I am really not the nicest person to be around when I haven't take them to be honest.
Please contact me. I have suffered from depression PTSD related and I can help point you in the right direction for help.
Depression is a very serious illness but because its not as noticeable as a broken arm people tend to ignore it. Unless you have suffered depression yourself its hard to realise how bad it is
Chloe O'brien
11-12-2010, 01:33
Alan's right Tannie. The best people you can get advice from are the people who have been there and came through the other side. I'm on the other side I've not suffered from depression but I've watched my sister suffer a number of breakdowns and bouts or depression. It's heartbreaking when you feel helpless I wish you lot were around 21 years ago.
I'm still on anti - depressants, just need to remember to take them. I am really not the nicest person to be around when I haven't take them to be honest.
You may have already tried this, but have you got a set time to take them? E.g. for me it's 11am, so when I see that time it reminds me to take them!
Kirsty :]
12-12-2010, 13:57
I hope that everyone feels better soon! I'm feeling a lot better lately, I am actually happy with where I am... however, I do wonder if I work so many hours to drown out the fact that actually, I have nothing better to do and no-one else to worry about, that upsets me, because I love my job and I don't want it to be a cover up for how unhappy I actually am. I jut stop myself from seeing it because in work, you don't have time to think about yourself.
;736358']I hope that everyone feels better soon! I'm feeling a lot better lately, I am actually happy with where I am... however, I do wonder if I work so many hours to drown out the fact that actually, I have nothing better to do and no-one else to worry about, that upsets me, because I love my job and I don't want it to be a cover up for how unhappy I actually am. I jut stop myself from seeing it because in work, you don't have time to think about yourself.
I think it depends - if before you were feeling depressed because you had nothing to do, then you could actually be feeling better. But if it's just because you're so busy and have no time for anything else, then please take care! I only say that because I used to do that, and then one day I just fell apart! I hope the feeling good continues!
StarsOfCCTV
06-02-2011, 03:23
*waves*
Um.. yeah I guess I just came in here to ask what happens the first time you go the GP.. like what may they ask or if they will refer you etc.. I know I need to go, but its taken me since September to even consider it and I don't really like to do things anymore without knowing what will happen first, if that makes sense.
I think I was just a bit mixed up before, whether I was making it up and the fact that I don't always feel low, sometimes I get really overexcited over stupid things but then it doesn't take a lot to bring me down again. I'm just fed up of not being able to do anything anymore, or things I used to be able to do. I still manage to do my uni assignments but that's about it tbh. Missed a couple or so lectures so far this term, just get so anxious when I'm there now (well, all the time really) and end up just winding myself up.
(& I think this has probably been going on for years, rather than a few months.. when I think back..)
*waves*
Um.. yeah I guess I just came in here to ask what happens the first time you go the GP.. like what may they ask or if they will refer you etc.. I know I need to go, but its taken me since September to even consider it and I don't really like to do things anymore without knowing what will happen first, if that makes sense.
I think I was just a bit mixed up before, whether I was making it up and the fact that I don't always feel low, sometimes I get really overexcited over stupid things but then it doesn't take a lot to bring me down again. I'm just fed up of not being able to do anything anymore, or things I used to be able to do. I still manage to do my uni assignments but that's about it tbh. Missed a couple or so lectures so far this term, just get so anxious when I'm there now (well, all the time really) and end up just winding myself up.
(& I think this has probably been going on for years, rather than a few months.. when I think back..)
I think each GP has a different approach to depression so you may have a different response. When I went, I had to fill in a questionnaire (called PHQ 9) then the doctor talked through my options. Depending on the severity of your depression, the doctor may recommend different things. For mild depression counselling is usually the first line of treatment. Severe depression gets medication and counselling.I told the doctor I didn't want counselling and he was fine with that. He said that the option is always there if I want to try it at some point.
The doctor didn't ask me many questions, the important ones are in the questionnaire. He recommended not drinking alcohol or taking drugs, especially in the first few months of treatment as they can make depression worse. He asked if I'd had any thoughts of suicide and what I wanted to do after university. It seems a random thing to ask but he was really asking if I had any plans. The ability to see yourself in a few years doing something is a positive sign.
I had to go back every few weeks in the first two months to check I wasn't suicidal (medication can have that effect). I think one week I was there three times because I was suicidal. I saw a different doctor and she said as long as I don't do anything I'll be fine. Yes, that's reassuring :rolleyes:
My recommendations would be:
1. Be honest. The doctor can't make an accurate assessment unless you tell him everything.
2. See the same doctor - once they get to know you they notice changes you might not and they can tell when you're lying. I saw my GP on Wednesday and he asked if I'd had any thoughts of self harm or suicide. I said no but he went on this long speech about it and he knew I was lying. He didn't ask me any questions about it as he could tell I didn't want to talk about it.
3. Consider all your options before making a decision. Don't be afraid to say you don't want X treatment. Anti-depressants have changed my life, I can function normally when I take them. I know why I'm depressed and talking about it isn't going to change anything.
4. If you don't agree with something the doctor says, tell him. If he still doesn't understand your position see someone else in the practice. If you don't go often enough to know the best doctor, ask the receptionist. The most popular doctors are the best.
5. Let your personal tutor know. They can help more than you realise.
6. If you're prescribed medication, don't stop taking them suddenly. I've done this a few times and it is horrible. The physical symptoms I can deal with but not being able to get out of bed, eat, get dressed or do anything except plan my death is awful.
I think that's all I've got for now. Let us know how you get on :)
StarsOfCCTV
06-02-2011, 12:13
Thankyou :) I'm still registered with the GP at home, but I don't think I'm going to be able visit home before 3 weeks so hopefully I'll go then. I think I know what Doctor I'd see, though I find them all a bit patronising tbh, but I guess I don't go often enough to know them all properly. And yeah if they suggest any treatment I think I'd opt for medication over counselling, just don't go for all that talking thing..
Ruffed_lemur
06-02-2011, 14:28
Thankyou :) I'm still registered with the GP at home, but I don't think I'm going to be able visit home before 3 weeks so hopefully I'll go then. I think I know what Doctor I'd see, though I find them all a bit patronising tbh, but I guess I don't go often enough to know them all properly. And yeah if they suggest any treatment I think I'd opt for medication over counselling, just don't go for all that talking thing..
I know what you mean about the talking, it's not easy at all. I get depressed sometimes and find talking to friends a lot better than counsellers. Does work for some though. :) I have found that medication helps a lot.
Hi,
First off I hope it goes well at the doctors. Have you thought of perhaps registering at the uni docs, mainly because of the fact that they may want to monitor you freuquently, especially if they prescribe you anything, but also because if they do end up making a referral, you might have issues with attending the appointments. Also, uni doctors may be more trained in specific MH areas, due to high numbers of students experiencing depression/anxiety.
As Abigail said, every doctor does it differently. My doctor at home kept monitoring me, the doctor at uni sent me straight to a specialist, so it does vary!
StarsOfCCTV
06-02-2011, 23:32
I will ask my friend what the doc is like that she registered with. Its not too much of a problem with me going back home if I have to because I have a car this year its just a couple of hours down one motorway to get back. I don't think the on-uni campus one is too great though, they only have advance appointments and they are always really busy whereas I think if I registered at a new one I'd want a ring up on the day surgery like the one at home just because its easier. :)
Update: Ok, u-turn.. found a GP health centre place 5 minutes away from my uni house :rolleyes:, good reputation/large practice. Just need to go and hand the forms I've printed off and filled out (aside from the nhs number, I don't know that). Easier said than done. :rolleyes:
StarsOfCCTV
03-03-2011, 10:10
Dr booked for this evening, at home. I hope I can actually go.. :/ I wish it wasn't this hard! Should've gone weeks ago.
You can do it, Stars, good luck xxx
Chloe O'brien
03-03-2011, 11:28
Good luck Stars, you've taken the hardest step. Good luck let us know how it went
The first time is always the hardest but it does get easier. Good luck :)
StarsOfCCTV
03-03-2011, 21:21
Well I went. :) I got Citalopram. On the instructions though, it says it may affect driving..so may be wise to wait until after I'm back in Bristol before I start to take them (Sunday/Monday)?
I'd definitely advise that, so you can get used to taking them and see how they affect you before you have to drive again.
Well I went. :) I got Citalopram. On the instructions though, it says it may affect driving..so may be wise to wait until after I'm back in Bristol before I start to take them (Sunday/Monday)?
That's mainly because anti-depressants can cause tiredness. It's probably best to wait until you're back in Bristol to start them.
What dose are you on?
StarsOfCCTV
05-03-2011, 00:08
^ Yep, I looked at the instructions, there's like 101 side effects. :lol: He said take 10mg a day for the first week them 20mg from then on and see how it goes. I have to book a follow up in about 2 weeks.
On my German ones, it has all that, then it says at the bottom 'get well soon' :lol:
^ Yep, I looked at the instructions, there's like 101 side effects. :lol: He said take 10mg a day for the first week them 20mg from then on and see how it goes. I have to book a follow up in about 2 weeks.
I know, I take citalopram too. I think the only side effects I've had are tiredness, lack of sex drive and melancholy. I found this (http://www.medicines.org.uk/EMC/medicine/23026/SPC/Citalopram+10mg+Tablets/) last night which is more detailed than the leaflet in the box.
Can I ask, how did you go about it in your doctors appointment? I mean like how did you start off? Do you just say how youve been feeling or be more direct and say you think you may be depressed?
I said I was feeling sad and then the doctor asked more specific questions. I avoided saying I thought I was depressed, I didn't want him to think I'm one of those people who look symptoms up on the internet and think they've got some incurable disease.
Thanks
I dont really know what to do, Ive veen feeling, low, if thats the right word for quite some time, to be honest I really just dont want to go out anymore, I went to london last weekend which I had been looking forward to for months and it was great although I did have a cold and when I said bye to my mum and got on the train to come back to uni I really had to hold in the tears and then on the train I must have been crying (silently) for over an hour, I guess I just missed her but not only that cos Id been ill I just hoped that I had ruined the weekend, well not ruined but i felt like i let myself down cos Id been looking forward to it so much.
not only that but pretty much the whole term ive felt down in a sense, I judt dont want to go out anymore, nights out and stuff, I just want to stay in.
I could go on and on about other thnings but I dont want to bore you, I think I may be struggling to cope this term and I thought it was just stress but now im not so sure
Maybe im over-reacting
StarsOfCCTV
05-03-2011, 21:16
Hah, I just came out with it.. pull off the plaster quickly and all.
Abbie - You should go, even if you think your over-reacting its better to put your mind at rest, don't leave it for ages like I did because it may just get worse and it'll be harder to go to the Docs. x
@stars: I hope starting citalopram goes well
@abbie: no harm in going, and they may be able to help you! Good luck x
StarsOfCCTV
09-03-2011, 20:18
The doctor said I might feel anxious the first 3/4 days but he didn't say I'd hardly be able to leave the house let alone go to uni. :( My uni's not too strict on attendance, half the classes don't take registers and those that use them just for statistics, I think aside from practicals, but still I always feel guilty for missing classes and I don't want my lecturers thinking I'm skiving for no reason. I should probably email my tutor (although I don't know him particularly well) and ask him about any allowances I might get, or whether I could have next week off or something. Its probably better for me to be at London home at the moment..idk. I guess I'll see how I feel tomorrow. I'm still taking the pills though, so hopefully it'll get better..double dose from Sunday, yay..
If the anxiety continues you should go back and see your GP. It might be that you just don't get on with citalopram.
My tutor was really helpful when I told her. She informed all my other lecturers, helped me out with extenuating circumstances and told me not to worry about missing lectures. Its such a benefit to have them in the picture as I don't feel bad when I don't turn up to lectures or can't do group work because I don't want to talk to anyone. If you don't get along with your tutor you can ask for a different one. I'm lucky that all my lecturers are very approachable and friendly.
StarsOfCCTV
09-03-2011, 21:27
Thanks. Yeah, I've only been taking them since Sunday so I will give it longer. I will probably email my tutor tomorrow, I wouldn't want to change because I know my lecturers even less lol
How's it going Kasple? Has the anxiety subsided?
StarsOfCCTV
19-03-2011, 11:31
I've been meaning to reply to this thread, sorry. Yeah a bit, I went to the Doctor and he said I should give it a bit more time. And he gave me a new prescription to go up to the Easter holidays with 20mg tablets so I don't have to take two each day. :)
Eta: And I did email my lecturer and he's been fine and not minded that I took a bit of time off uni. :)
I'm at the doctors in an hour. I have no energy, all I've done for the past week is sleep. I feel so sad and I'm annoyed at myself because I've got deadlines coming up and I'm avoiding work. I just want to get away for a few days but I don't know where to go. Luckily my passport is out of date otherwise I'd be on a plane this afternoon to the cheapest destination.
Hope it went well at the doctor's, Abigail, and I also hope you feel better soon :)
The doctor increased the citalopram to 40mg daily and referred me for counselling. I'm struggling with the tiredness from the increased dose and my mood is all over the place still. I think I'm starting to feel better though.
Hope you continue to feel better Abigail ang go to counselling, I know it is not always easy to open up but I am sure it will be beneficial to you too. Hopefully, the medication can be reduced again then and you won't feel so tired, huggy xx
DaVeyWaVey
02-04-2011, 12:10
Hope you continue to feel better Abigail. Good luck with the counselling x
I've been focusing on writing a script. I'm told it's good to focus on something.
The doctor increased the citalopram to 40mg daily and referred me for counselling. I'm struggling with the tiredness from the increased dose and my mood is all over the place still. I think I'm starting to feel better though.
I hope you begin to feel better soon and can get off the 40mg. I couldn't believe the difference when I went down to 20mg from 40mg... I had never realised how sapping the bugger is! Good luck!
I hope you begin to feel better soon and can get off the 40mg. I couldn't believe the difference when I went down to 20mg from 40mg... I had never realised how sapping the bugger is! Good luck!
I can't believe the difference between 30mg and 40mg. All I seem to do is sleep, I have no energy to do anything. I know it's only been nine days but I haven't noticed a difference in my mood. In fact, things have got worse.
I have an appointment for counselling on the 18th April.
I'd give it time, but if the negatives outweigh the positives, then I'd go back down to 30mg again.
Went to the docs today for more ADs, she asked me how my soul was. Nothing like a doctor in england would ask...
judthryn
08-04-2011, 09:05
hi abigail,
the high in dosage is given only when the previous dosage doesn't help you out that much.. so it is better to continue the 40 mg, still find hard in improvement then look for some other solution.
My mood has improved considerably in the last few days. I've started taking the citalopram in the afternoon/early evening instead of the morning. By the time the tiredness is kicking in, I'm ready for bed and its not really a problem.
I have my psych assessment on Monday. I'm a bit nervous about it but it is something that I have to do.
I've decided to take some time out after I finish my degree. A friend (who is a psychiatrist) has said I can live with him as long as I need to so I'm staying in Stoke. Its time for me to stop running away from my problems and deal with them. If that take 6 months or a year, so be it. I can't carry on with these massive ups and downs every few months. Something happens, I can't deal with it so I pretend it doesn't exist and put it in the cupboard with all the other things I can't deal with. I can't get anything else in my cupboard and I'm scared to open the door because it will all come tumbling out. At the moment I don't think I would be able to hold down a full time job or even a part time one. My moods are just so unpredictable and they change from one hour to the next. Some days I can't get out of bed at all, others I feel like I'm on speed. Even small stresses, like deadlines, cause me to fall apart.
So much has happened over the last year with my family. My relationship with my mother is virtually non-existent. It's always been difficult but I can't communicate with her at all now. Things have gotten considerably worse in the past few months, I've spoken to her once on the phone since January. Even my relationship with my sister has been severely affected to the point where I can't go home at the moment because I can't deal with her talking about my uncle. She wants to talk about the trial and stuff and I just want to forget it's happening. My sister is the only person in my family that has ever understood me, she gave me somewhere to stay when my mum kicked me out and she's always taken care of me emotionally and financially. More than my parents ever have. I'm hoping once the trial is over things will go back to how they were.
Anyway, I'm waffling :p
I am glad you got your meds sorted to suit you now, good luck with your assessment on Monday, is only natural you should feel a little nervous, but it is another tool for you to get on the road to recovery and being able to deal with all those things in the cupboard. Hopefully, your relationship with your mother and sister will improve again over time too, I imagine your sister is feeling scared and unsure, hence her need to talk about the trial. I wish you all the best x
I am glad you got your meds sorted to suit you now, good luck with your assessment on Monday, is only natural you should feel a little nervous, but it is another tool for you to get on the road to recovery and being able to deal with all those things in the cupboard. Hopefully, your relationship with your mother and sister will improve again over time too, I imagine your sister is feeling scared and unsure, hence her need to talk about the trial. I wish you all the best x
Thanks Perdita :) It's great that I have so many friends on here and you are all so supportive. I don't know what I'd do without this place to vent.
I saw the mental health team on Monday for an assessment. I start cognitive behavioural therapy next week. It's done over the phone for 30mins every week. I've also got to chart my mood with a :) or :( every hour of the day. So far I haven't started that task.
The sun has had a pretty positive effect on me actually. I just wish I had time to sit out and enjoy it instead of doing work.
Good luck; I hope it's useful!
I had to do the :) and :( thing once, but also chart what I was doing to see if it had any effect on my mood...
I changed from Citalopram to Venlafaxine 75mg prolonged released on Friday. I feel like a zombie already :( I loaded the dishwasher this morning and it wiped me out. That's all I've done today apart from sleep. I know the first few weeks are always rough on new meds but this is ridiculous. I can't think straight. I have an appointment with my GP on Friday to review.
Has anyone else taken venlafaxine? I've read that the withdrawals are hell but nothing about being ridiculously tired and unable to do anything.
I changed from Citalopram to Venlafaxine 75mg prolonged released on Friday. I feel like a zombie already :( I loaded the dishwasher this morning and it wiped me out. That's all I've done today apart from sleep. I know the first few weeks are always rough on new meds but this is ridiculous. I can't think straight. I have an appointment with my GP on Friday to review.
Has anyone else taken venlafaxine? I've read that the withdrawals are hell but nothing about being ridiculously tired and unable to do anything.
Hey Abigail, good to see you here, missed you xx. I don't have any experience with Venlafaxine but good to know you are seeing the doctor on Friday, discuss all your symptoms, hope you can get the right medication to help you without those side effects xxx
The doctor told me to persist a little longer and ordered some blood tests to rule out thyroid, anaemia and diabetes. Things have gotten worse over the weekend, I can't get up before midday (I just can't open my eyes) and my joints are aching constantly. I have to go back in a few weeks but if this carries on much longer, I'll be going back and asking to stop the venlafaxine. I'm just concerned about the effects of stopping as it's widely known to be the hardest anti-depressant to get off because of the withdrawals. I'm not sure I can feel much worse at the moment so I'm not worrying too much about it.
Abigail
You can wean yourself off all anti depressants. I managed myself by cutting down the dosage gradually rather than going cold turkey on them. In fairness though you havent been on this new one very long so give it a chance to see if the effects lessen. As Perdy says speak with your GP. See if he/she will get you an appointment with a good psychologist. Talking to a Mental Health professional always helps
Hi Abigail, how're you getting on with Venla now? Hopefully the side effects have weaned off now you're had about 10 days to get it in your system :)
I had to stop the venlafaxine after 4 weeks, I was sleeping all the time and wasn't feeling any benefit. I know it takes about 6 weeks to start feeling better and the fatigue would eventually pass but it is the worst drug I've ever taken. Stopping abruptly wasn't a good idea though. It has a very short half-life so I felt as sick as a dog for ten days afterwards. I couldn't get an appointment with my GP for several days so I ran out and just decided to try living without anti-depressants. I've taken anti-depressants for 2.5 years and before that I was on a mood stabiliser for 3 years so I'm not really used to regulating my brain chemicals naturally.
I've been off venlafaxine just under 3 weeks and I felt myself sliding back. I didn't want to risk a big crash so I saw my GP today and he prescribed sertraline. I took it this morning, this afternoon I had bundles of energy which is unusual for me. I could've managed a bit longer without. A friend attempted suicide last week and was sectioned. It's been playing on my mind and I'd rather not feel like that again.
Long term I don't know what is going to happen. The current guidelines state patients should be weaned off after 8 months of stability but I've never managed to get beyond ~4 months on SSRI/SNRI before I relapse. I think I'm going to ask for a psychiatric referral with a view to going back on a mood stabiliser. I felt a lot more human and stable than I do on SSRIs.
I had to stop the venlafaxine after 4 weeks, I was sleeping all the time and wasn't feeling any benefit. I know it takes about 6 weeks to start feeling better and the fatigue would eventually pass but it is the worst drug I've ever taken. Stopping abruptly wasn't a good idea though. It has a very short half-life so I felt as sick as a dog for ten days afterwards. I couldn't get an appointment with my GP for several days so I ran out and just decided to try living without anti-depressants. I've taken anti-depressants for 2.5 years and before that I was on a mood stabiliser for 3 years so I'm not really used to regulating my brain chemicals naturally.
I've been off venlafaxine just under 3 weeks and I felt myself sliding back. I didn't want to risk a big crash so I saw my GP today and he prescribed sertraline. I took it this morning, this afternoon I had bundles of energy which is unusual for me. I could've managed a bit longer without. A friend attempted suicide last week and was sectioned. It's been playing on my mind and I'd rather not feel like that again.
Long term I don't know what is going to happen. The current guidelines state patients should be weaned off after 8 months of stability but I've never managed to get beyond ~4 months on SSRI/SNRI before I relapse. I think I'm going to ask for a psychiatric referral with a view to going back on a mood stabiliser. I felt a lot more human and stable than I do on SSRIs.
Good news, glad you are feeling better xxx
I had to stop the venlafaxine after 4 weeks, I was sleeping all the time and wasn't feeling any benefit. I know it takes about 6 weeks to start feeling better and the fatigue would eventually pass but it is the worst drug I've ever taken. Stopping abruptly wasn't a good idea though. It has a very short half-life so I felt as sick as a dog for ten days afterwards. I couldn't get an appointment with my GP for several days so I ran out and just decided to try living without anti-depressants. I've taken anti-depressants for 2.5 years and before that I was on a mood stabiliser for 3 years so I'm not really used to regulating my brain chemicals naturally.
I've been off venlafaxine just under 3 weeks and I felt myself sliding back. I didn't want to risk a big crash so I saw my GP today and he prescribed sertraline. I took it this morning, this afternoon I had bundles of energy which is unusual for me. I could've managed a bit longer without. A friend attempted suicide last week and was sectioned. It's been playing on my mind and I'd rather not feel like that again.
Long term I don't know what is going to happen. The current guidelines state patients should be weaned off after 8 months of stability but I've never managed to get beyond ~4 months on SSRI/SNRI before I relapse. I think I'm going to ask for a psychiatric referral with a view to going back on a mood stabiliser. I felt a lot more human and stable than I do on SSRIs.
Good luck with the Sertraline and possible mood stabiliser! Hopefully finding the right drug will really help you x
I don't believe that this is such a disease that can be diagnosed. It exposes itself. But
the will power is very effective tool to get rid of it.
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Doloreta
09-08-2012, 10:04
Do take deep breath in fresh air, Take multivitamin regularly, Share your problems with your family,
Avoid alcohol, caffeine and other stimulants....
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