Husbands family at christmas

[pinkfirefly]

:wall:

For the last ten years I've had to survive a family christmas with my husbands family, this year (IN AUGUST) I asked if this year we could do christmas day just us & the kids to which he agreed.

Christmas always has mixed emotions for me, as I'm sure it does for many people, I lost both my parents at a young age and christmas stirs emotions up, although with small children how could I possible be sad with Santa on his way.

Anyway, he has dropped the bombshell today that they are coming to our house early christmas morning to watch the children open their presents and have breakfast and they will leave approx 11am

I know cannot sleep now as I'm too wound up and I'm dreading it, I've tried to speak to my husband but he won't budge! any advice

[Meh]

If they are only going to stay till 11am, sounds reasonable? Unless you think they may outstay their welcome?

[Abigail]

As long as they do leave at 11am I don't see the problem. They're going to be at your's 3 hours, 4 max if they like getting up early. Think of something that you have to do or go out for at 11am so that they do leave at the time agreed without being rude and kicking them out.

After the kids have opened their presents you could maybe ask their grandparents to look after them for a while whilst you sort dinner out then you won't have to spend so much time with the in-laws. Then there's the rest of the day for you and your husband to play with the kids.

[Trinity]

You have a cast iron excuse to stay in the kitchen!

Offer them coffee and muffins early - and then nothing, they shoud get the hint without being offended.

[pinkfirefly]

Thanks - I will try my best to grin and bear it.

Although I still live in hope they don't come at all, I know its totally unchristmas but when they don't really bother with the kids any other time of the year, it grates me!

[thestud2k7]

you could talk to your husband about your fears and try to come an comprise

[Chloe O'brien]

I know it's difficult I lost my mum around Christmas 12 years ago and it doesn't get any easier but try and smile and keep yourself busy in the kitchen with preparing veg and stuff. Have a glass of wine and a handful of chocolate while your stuffing the turkey you'll be grand

[CrazyLea]

I wouldn't like that mind. Having the family over to watch your kids open their presents. That should just be for you and your hubby to watch I think.

But yeah like everyone else said, think of an excuse for them to HAVE to leave at 11. Don't offer them alcohol whatever you do :p.

[pinkfirefly]

Thank god theres some like minded people before I posted this problem I was starting to think I was selfish wanting to watch the kids open the presents just us!

Anway I'm now looking forward to christmas and I hope you all are too!

[Abigail]

Did you stay over at your in-laws at Christmas and open presents there or did you open presents at your home then go to the in-laws.

I understand that you want to see the kids open the presents with just you and your husband there.

Does your husband have any siblings with children? Maybe you could suggest a little change of "tradition" this year and arrange for the in-laws to go to one of their houses for the morning.

[Kim]

I don't think that just you, your husband and the kids is selfish. I don't like it when my aunt comes over at any point during the day, and she's not an in law. However, when she did come, presents were always me and my parents. She's never been here by 11am either, let alone leaving at that time!

Maybe you could get up early with the kids if your husband wants his family to see them opening presents, and let them open some without them. That way they don't get to see everything, and you won't leave them thinking that they can just come round when they like and get to see the children opening their presents.

I'd make sure you're in the kitchen when they arrive, leaving your husband to take their coats and offer them drinks and whatever. You could make a point of coming out of the kitchen with a bowl of cereal or whatever, so to your husbands family it looks like you've been busy preparing the dinner, but your husband should realise that you have no intention of sharing christmas with them.

After a while, just sit with them and agree with whatever they say, so that they can't get into a big discussion with you about whatever and end up staying past 11. When it's time for them to leave, tell your husband that you have to go and drop a christmas present or something off to a particular friend of yours before they sit down to dinner, or something, and walk out to the car leaving him to say thanks for coming or whatever, and just shout to wish them a happy christmas as they leave.

Hope christmas turns out alright for you :)

[Perdita]

How was it, did you have a nice time or was it awful? Give us an update if you can. Happy 2008. :)

[CarerQuie]

I hope it went well.

I think that I would grin and bear it.Having lost my parents,too,I think life is too short to get uptight about what is just one day.It's not what I wanted with my in-laws either but one day they won't be around.

Perhaps paty of the problem is that it reminds you of what you are missing.

Christmas is a difficult time of year for me,too.xx