View Full Version : Are kids spoilt?
Long time since we've had a debate on here. So here comes one. Play nicely :D
Do you think that kids are spoilt now a days?
Please dont take any comments to heart. I want everyone to feel free to express their opinion, without worrying about offending other people. After all, we cant all agree, can we? ;)
I think that they are. I help in a youth group once a week, with 7-11 year olds, and they all have more than one mobile phone, iPods, DVD players, TVs, even their own laptops. Whatever happened to waiting for those things? I see no use of a child to have their own phone. I think parents should keep an old one, and if their kids do go out, then only give it to them then, for safety reasons. For a child to have a phone 24/7 when they are 7 years old or younger is unnessessery, i think. I think families should have a family computer when they are young, too. You can monitor what they do then. Of course, some people can afford to buy software which allow you to block certain websites, and monitor that way. But if you cant, then if you use the same computer as them, you can check their history and what not. If they have a laptop, it would be very hard to monitor what they do on a daily basis.
So many kids can eat sweets and stuff like that whenever they like. Much better for kids to at least wait untill after dinner, i think.
As i said, dont be offended anyone. If you are a parent, its your choice how you bring your kids up. The rest of us may disagree, but you should bring up your kids how you see best, and not anyone else :)
I totally agree... most kids are spoilt.. My kids are not and I am the one who feels bad when my 6 year old daughter tells me all her friends have DS (also age 6) and some are getting mobile phones... I thought I was spoiling her by getting her an MP3 (not an ipod, just a cheap yoke) for her 6th bday.
I think she is far to young to be getting such expensive presents but apparently a lot of her friends have them since they were 5 years old.. We were lucky as kids to get on present at christmas and now kids have a list as long as your arms...
I don't see how kids can grow up to appreciste the value of money if they are getting DS and Mobile Phones for their 6th 7th birthdays. At least wait till seconday school.
I think children are being spoilt more but only because changes in technology are allowing them to be.
samantha nixon
05-11-2007, 16:29
I dont think all kids are spoilt I think its how the parents do it (does that make sense) because we have only ever got things like gameboys, DS's Wii's, Laptops etc..... at xmas or b/day they arent ever bought in between so at xmas I might get a phone and Ipod, or last year it was a Wii and Flat screen tv but then throughout the year we get stuff spent on us when ever we want it but not stuff like that, mum might buy dvd's or wii games throoughout or shell give us money for clothes and stuff but would never buy something like i said above unless it was xmas or b/day (man thats one long sentence, does that make sense).
The only really thing that is a constant expense throughout the year is my animals lol, other than that I dont expect stuff throughout the year.
Whereas someone I know their children will ask for new phones every time a new one comes out, or as soon as a new ipod coes out they will want it, and stuff and the parents give it to them, I think that is spoilt as they dont even treat their parents with respect, they treat them like dirt.
But though I can see why some kids get them at a yong age is because they have older siblings, as my litle cousin who is 9 has a sister who is 15 nearly 16 and loves having stuff the same as her, so she has a DS and all the games and stuff, but she dont have a phone yet as the others had to wait till they were older so they cant treat one differently, but she carries an old one round with her to make her feel the same, (which I think is sweet lol)
I agree, I mean I myself have an mobile phone, Tv and freeview in room and ipod but the shuffle, it was cheaper lol, But I havent had them all at once its been spread out through the years because I cant be spoilt, and dont want to be and the obviously theres the issue of money
This is a new generation of kids who are accustomed to the 'now' mantra. Internet, email, SMS, next day delivery, programmes on demand - everything is delivered almost instantly and, more importantly, cheaper than before. Parents can afford to give their kids what would be considered expensive a decade ago. The whole culture has changed.
I think kids are spoilt nowadays, i remember if i wanted something big i had to wait until xmas or my birthday i could never just have it
Connor gets bought a lot, small things like a car or some drawing stuff, he never asks for anything big. He has a CD player that he got when he was 3 mainly becuase mum was getting rid of one and because he loved to listen to his kids cds when he was playing and i didnt want them being played round me all day!
He is 5 and this year he has asked 'santa' for a ds lite and yes ive got it ready and waiting for him but why not, he gets stuff throughout the year but nothing big like this, i tell him big pressies have to be waited for just like i did when i was younger and when he finallys something he really appreiciates it
i have a friend who buys her son everything he wants and hes a vile child at times!!!!!
My parents never even brought me small things during the year. I got whatever i wanted (Up to a certain value) at Xmas and on my birthday. Apart from important things etc, they wouldn't buy me any other presents or toys. Even now, i get given the odd coat or trousers, school things are paid for, and everything important is paid for, but any "extras" i buy myself.
And to be honest, i wouldnt have it any other way.
Kids might not get huge presents, but i think lots of small things are just as bad. Even if its a new PC game or something, its still something for nothing. And, in my opinion, i think thats spoiling them. Give them some pocket money every week, and let them save for what they want.
kids grow, get bored of what they got so rather than have connor doing nothing i replace his toys! Dont agree with not giving children anything all year, a 99p car, a £5 game every now and then dosent hurt at all.
He gets money from my nan, my mum and dad and daves mum and dad, if he really wants something big he does save his money for it
i always said before i became a mum that i wouldnt buy things for my children all the time, wouldnt spoil them but when connor came along you cant help buying things he likes
samantha nixon
05-11-2007, 17:48
I dont see the harm in buying children little things throughout the year, as it gives them an incentive to be good, as my cousin used to get a book/magazine/little game every week if she behaved (not that she used to lol) but sometimes it di make her behave.
Others also do it where if they are good while out shopping they can choose something and thats not being spoilt its telling them that if the are good they get something in return for it.
Generally, I think yes, but a few treats are fine. It's better to have a child that gets a few treats every now and again than one that misbehaves and doesn't get anything.
I don't see anything wrong with having a lot of expensive things either, as long as the child saves up for them or they were bought as birthday and/or christmas presents.
StarsOfCCTV
05-11-2007, 19:10
I only got (and still do!) big presents like a camera for birthday and christmas. The rest of the time, if it's something I really want, for example a pair of hairstraightners that's not essential to me, I have to save up for it.
I think that kids who are given big things all the time don't value and look after their stuff as much.
CrazyLea
05-11-2007, 19:43
Hmm I don't think children are spoilt. They do get more than what they used to, but I think it's needed. Everyone I know, has only ever gotten big presents for birthdays, Christmas. Like everyone else, they have to save up if they want/wanted something non-essential. Is it wrong to buy things for your child when it isn't a special occasion? I don't think so. It's up to the parent. As for mobile phones, it's come to a point, where these days children NEED them. As sad as it it. I would much rather a child of mine to be considered spoilt for having a mobile phone, and me to feel safe when they go out to play or something, rather than something horrible to happen to them.
Other technical things such as laptops - in a way it may be considered spoilt. But like someone said earlier, things have moved on, many children now learn in school on laptops, if you don't top them up with too many games then I think they are useful for children, and it's good to get them learning how to use one early on in life, as these days EVERYTHING is done via a computer.
iPods and what not.. why not? Children like music. It makes them happy, shouldn't children be happy?
I do think there is a limit to when you should have them throughout the year, as the child may think they could get anything anytime. But overall, no I don't think kids are spoilt.
Personally.
Xx-Vicky-xX
05-11-2007, 20:14
I'm not sure, some are but i don't think thats all the kids.
For instance, my baby cousin he is 5 months this month, he has been bought so much in the 5 months he has been born (mainly clothes) but i don't think that makes him spoilt, i think alot of new borns have alot of stuff (though do feel free to correct me if i am wrong, i don't know many babies :lol:) but no i don't think it is all children just some and they are more to do with how parents bring them up
Yeah I think newbons do get quite quite a lot, but I don't see the problem with that as they're not going to get used to being spoiled at that age as long as it doesn't go on for too long.
Pinkbanana
05-11-2007, 21:15
Depends how you define spoilt, and if its the child wanting/pestering for things and getting them, or adults lavishing material things on the child.
I personally think that children are no more spoilt now that say twenty years ago....I think compared to the 40s/50s when things werent so ready available children werent therefore as spoilt - but that could be down to the country rebuilding itself after the devastation of WW2, meaning there wasnt the material things readily available...
Anyway is it soooo wrong to lavish things on a child? :hmm: As long as it isnt as a replacement for the adult/parent spending time with the child, or to bribe the children into behaving (I hate that, what kind of society are we creating, and message are we sending out to children? Misbehave and you will get a reward....:mad: )
Anyway, I think its down to the parent to decide....no one else.
I'll shut up, hope the above makes some sense, this is what happens when you only have had 3 hours sleep and a stressful day - full of spoilt brats!!! :lol:
Chloe O'brien
05-11-2007, 22:03
Compared to what I got when I was 9 years old then I would say Marley is spoilt rotten though if what she gets compared to what some of the other kids at school get Marley would be on the phone to childline given half the chance, but as it has already been said society and technology has changed over the last 30 years.
Marley doen't get spoilt she get's a small gift once a month if she behaves. As for big presents she only gets them at birthday's and Christmas. Her birthday is in September and once her birthday has passed she get's no more until Christmas. That is just my opinion because I'm on my own I can't afford to lavish her with gifts every other week and if you start to give a child gifts when its not a special occasion then they expect more the older they get.
Marley has a phone and a DS lite they were presents for her birthday and christmas last year she also has an Ipod and the only reason she got that last year was the Working Tax Credit had made a balls up of my payments and I got a pretty big sum back dated last August so I treated my self and her to a new Ipod otherwise she wouldn't have got it.
bubblegum_fairy
05-11-2007, 22:21
People class me as spoilt....
I don't think I am... My dad doesn't give me anything... we're on benifits.... I claim EMA...
I've got a contract mobile, laptop, internet, sky in my room... I go to the theatre a lot...
But compared to some of my friends that's nothing...
To me a spoilt child is someone who doesn't lift a finger has parents who do everything for them... and get everything that want when they want.
I think there's two types of spoilt children. The first is the one that knows he/she can twist their parents' arm and emotionally blackmail them into buying them something.
The second is the child who's parents work full time and they never get to see them so they make up for it by buying gifts every week.
In some respects children are spoilt. One of my friends dads told him he would get £50 for each pass in GCSE and £75 for each A*/A :eek: Maybe an incentive but when you're doing 13 GCSEs that a heck of a lot of money for doing the same amount of work as anybody else.
I don't think its wrong for parents to buy their children things now and again. I do think parents who buy their children the latest phone or games console or iPod as soon as it comes out are silly. Whats the point in spending hundreds of pound on the latest model when the previous one works just as good?
It depends on how you define spoilt....
A parent that works their backside off in order to buy the things they want their child to have, whether that be a 50p car each time they go to Tescos shopping, or that occasional Wii game throughout the year, not to make up for the work they are doing, but to spend some of the hard earned cash on the people that mean the most to them in their lives, or... the parent that allows their child to make demands on them for different things, no matter what the cost, and make the parent feel that they HAVE to buy that child those items to prevent them from tantruming on them (which to me, is the parents own fault in the first place - tantrums get you no where my children have all learned.)
My children have had far more for them than I did when I was younger, but they aren't spoilt. They don't get what they want, when they want it and know that if its a choice between the 50p car at Tescos or the £6 car at Tescos, they are going to get the cheaper one (a car is a car to me). My boys all know the value of money - we don't give them pocket money each week to save, but they tidy their rooms each week and the eldest does the dishes each night - if he refuses (which I promise is a very rare occurence), then he knows he gets nothing.
As a footnote, JB, my mum has promised my eldest son that for each A/A* he gets in his GCSE's, she is going to give him £50, with each B earning him £25. Incentive, maybe, but I don't think spoilt, especially when he is on the gifted register, yet is stuck in a school where there is under a 50% A-C pass rate and thats considered good and improving each year :eek: My son is more than capable of gaining A grades, IF he wants to. At the end of the day, only he can make that choice and put the work in that he needs to to attain those grades - spoilt though, I personally wouldn't say so. I think it depends on the reasons why.
Times have changed, moved on. Like I say, it depends on how spoilt is defined in essence.
kids grow, get bored of what they got so rather than have connor doing nothing i replace his toys! Dont agree with not giving children anything all year, a 99p car, a £5 game every now and then dosent hurt at all.
When I was little, my Mum always used to put some toys that I had not played with for a while, in the cellar or attic and after 6 months or so would swap them round again. I had forgotten that I had some of the toys and it was like getting new ones again. Obviously, a new colouring book and pencils are a bit different, I used to get them occasionally as a treat.
Kids today have more than kids had in my day. Why? Because parents play keep up with the Jones's using credit cards - and some children know just what buttons to press in the Mummy /Daddy war.
I am 42, and when I was a child I had a radio cassette player, a portable TV in my room and a bike. All were christmas presents.
My sons are teenagers. They have ipods, phones, computers - but no TV in their room. There is a flat screen HD TV , a xbox360 and Sky TV in there playroom. They have 2 bikes each dirt jumpers and regular mountain bikes. Drum kit, brass instuments and a piano. Tennis lesssons (and expensive raquets), brass lessons, piano lessons, drum lessons. They are both members at David Lloyd Club. They go on all the school trips such as Skiing in France, they have had years of skiing lessons and are both great skiers, language trips to Europe etc.
My eldest has been promised £200 if he gets 8 '1's in his standard grades (the Scottish equivalent of As the GCSE). If he gets 7 1s this goes down to £10 per A. If he only gets 6 1s then he gets nothing. This sounds tough but he needs the grades for what he wants to do.
My kids saved up for the dirt bikes, the ipods, the xbox360 and the phones - they tend to get cash for Christmas now to help them to do this.
My kids feel hard done too in comparison to some of their friends who have 42" plasma tvs in their rooms together with xbox 360s
AND PS3 AND wii.
I don't feel that they appreciate that in the great scheme of things they are quite lucky.
Do I think they are spoiled?
Yes.
Lots of parents today have more disposable income than my parents had when I was growing up. Take my niece and her husband for instance both in very good jobs. They spend not only money on their kids but more importantly they spend the most precious commodity of all time with their children. Weekends are family time and the kids are taken ice sakting, swimmming, football and all the other things. My wife thinks they are spoiled but you have to remember that when we were growing up there were no such things as ipods of Nintendos. People did not earn as much in those days. Colour TVs cost the equvalent of maybe 6 months wages. Now you can by them for less than 50 quid. We live in a different era now.
Kids today have more than kids had in my day. Why? Because parents play keep up with the Jones's using credit cards - and some children know just what buttons to press in the Mummy /Daddy war.
.
I agree with you, I am sure that this happens a lot. I have heard though from others that their kids got bullied at school if they did not wear brand clothes and did not have all the technology in the house as some others. :angry: I think it must have been easier for parents and kids alike years ago when there was not that much technology and brand clothes around. :hmm:
Me, aged 12, has the following assets (1984)
1. Second hand raleigh chopper - cost £11
2. Amstrad CPC464 - cost £199 (Had to pester my parents for ages for this. Best investment they made in me :D)
3. Err, that's it
I agree with Trinity. Parents max out their CC to keep up with the Jones. Best thing you can give your kids is your time.
I know some parents who borrow from credit unions etc to pay for christmas!! they spend the rest of the year paying it back just to borrow again the following year and in most case it is "so we can give our kids what we never got"... I never ever spend more than I can afford. If my kids want expensive stuff, I will go without just so they can have
I do know a lot of kids who demand stuff all through the year and blackmail their parents for it..... now that is what I do call spoilt.. It is never about the presents but how these are gotten.. are they just for christmas and bdays.. then fine but all through the year I see more and more kids getting the "lastest" stuff.. phone, ipod etc...
I don't use credit cards to pay for Christmas, however I am in quite a fortunate position. I know loads of kids whose parents feel forced to buy them the latest kit because, 'everyone in my class has got x, y or z".
I didn't allow my eldest a mobile phone until he was at high school - he has a 25 minute bus trip and it is essential that he can let me know if he has missed the bus or whatever.
With my younger son I was basically forced into getting him a phone in P7. A local child was abducted and murdered and the police visited the school and told the kids that they need a phone for safety.
A lot of things my kids get they totally take for granted, however some things are really because we want them to have them e.g. the music lesson etc. I have never not let them do anything on the grounds of cost, however, if I didn't have the money then I don't think that I would get into debt to allow them to go on school trips etc.
My husband was the youngest of a large family and he didn't get any of the things I took for granted in my childhood. I went to clubs and brownies/guides, school trips etc. My husband didn't get to do these sort of things because of cost and perhaps that is why he is so keen for our kids to get the opportunities he missed out on.
My husband didn't go abroad until he was grown up.
My kids have been to Madrid, Paris, London, Venice, Rome, Tuscany, Italian Lakes, Brittanny. Loire Valley, South of France, Florida (several times), Skiing in the Alps (several times) Center Parcs every year etc etc. To them it is normal to go on holiday several times a year.
God help them when they grow up, try to get on the housing ladder and have to pay their own way!
I think I should change my surname....:(
I agree with the mobile phone thing - my eldest got his when he started high school 2 years ago - not before. None of my other boys will get a phone till they're at high school either - its not needed prior to then. To see 6yr olds with mobiles is pretty infuriating to be honest - why do they need them at that age?!
I don't have any credit cards, neither does hubby. We work our butts off to earn the money that we can afford nice things for our family unit. We don't go down the pub and pee it up against a wall, we hardly ever go on holiday because hubby doesn't like to let our customers down. The last time we went on holiday was 4 years ago. Hence why we buy nice things for our home.
I think I should change my surname....:(
Why?
.................................................. .....
I think I should change my surname....:(
Why?
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I'm a Jones....:o :lol:
Ha!:lol:
Well that is ok - we are all trying to keep up with you, lol.
Actually, we are not. I really believe that you should do things for yourself and your family thay you want and that keeping up with the Jones's or
anyone else is just a receipe for unhappiness.
my father and his sister were terrible rivels - and anything that the one got the other got better. I watched it as a child and I couldn't live like that. When my brother got a 50inch TV I just said that is fab - we will be visiting you for the world cup!
DaVeyWaVey
06-11-2007, 17:40
I personally feel that being spoilt is when parents lavish gifts on their children every other week, for no reason at all..or if they give into their children when they pester for gifts (the latest games console, new mobile phone etc).
I think that it's quite surprising what younger kids do have nowadays. I didn't get a mobile phone until I was in secondary school (think i got my first phone when i was 13) and I know I did get my television in my room when i was about 8 years old but that was for Christmas, and that was my big present as I had been good all year. I didn't get my laptop or my first computer until I was in my teens, the same as my games console and Freeview box. I only get big gifts at Christmas or on birthdays..same as when I was younger, so I don't think I've ever been spoilt personally - just got 'big' presents for being good, trying my best at school all year round.
I personally feel that younger kids (say 10 or under) shouldn't have big gifts until Christmas or on their birthdays, if they've been good. Being younger is all about spending time with the family anyway, and doing things together - opposed to just buying gifts to please children, in my opinion.
i think society has changed, if i got a colouring book and a few books for xmas now, i probably wouldn't be best pleased, yet when my mum was young it was a lot! i think some kids are spoilt, i'm a young leader and there's some age 10 with mobiles, ipods, cameras, tvs etc- i didn't get any of this stuff until i was at least 13 so i think everything is coming earlier- older siblings get something and th younger ones will want it too. in a way i'm fairly lucky to be in the situation of if i want it, i'll work for it and save up- i don't like asking for anything because that's how i've been brought up, but i know with my cousins it's a different story- my aunt actually told my dad how much money we should give them for their birthdays because £10 isn't enough!
so yeah, i believe we live in a consumer society where everyone is in competition with each other and it's all changed.
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