View Full Version : Teen Pregnancy is popular?
I reading the Daily Mail today and one of the articles was from a pregnant fourteen year old, who said that nowadays being pregnant as a teen is popular!
This is the first I've ever heard of such a thing, do some teen girls around the country really think this?
*Some* girls are naive enough to believe it.
When they have a baby they can get benefits, a council house etc just for getting pregnant and having a baby. Certainly the benefits are more than what an average 14 yr old girl will get from her Saturday job.
A lot of young girls seem to be getting pregnant, although I know that sometimes it's an accident, but don't think of what happens after they've had the baby. It's a lifetime commitment.
I know that the benefits idea may not apply to all teenage girls who think getting pregnant is at such a young age is good.
My sister's friend (18years old) had a baby last August. It was a complete accident. Because she lives with her parents she doesn't get any benefits except child benefit and doesn't qualify for a council house (I don't quite know why because lots of other teen mothers do.) She's struggling to look after her little girl in all respects because she just wasn't prepared for being a mother at such a young age.
There was something in The Sun newspaper one day this week about a pregnant 14 year old girl counselling other teen mums at her school, one was 13, on what to do. Two had terminations, one is keeping hers and the other one doesn't know what to do.
I think it takes some stupid, stupid people to end up like that. At 18/19 some might think that they'll be able to handle it as they are classed as an adult, but you have to give up your time to care for the baby, and you can't just lead a normal life with the title of 'Mum,' with a council house, which may come across as cool to some as there are very few teenagers that don't live with parents, relatives or a carer.
I wouldn't dream of it at 15, but there are some that think they know it all at my age and younger, so they don't need to wait until they are 16 to have sex, thus meaning that they are 'matured,' because the only reason the law is there is because you don't fully understand the implications until that age, but with the way this day and age is, the point of understanding is a lot higher.
At 18/19 some might think that they'll be able to handle it as they are classed as an adult, but you have to give up your time to care for the baby, and you can't just lead a normal life with the title of 'Mum,' with a council house, which may come across as cool to some as there are very few teenagers that don't live with parents, relatives or a carer
And? You're being very general in your post there. The Media has portrayed that all teenage parents are ****, but you shouldn't listen to the media. I know loads of teenagers who are great parents, and their children are adorable.
So what if you can't have a "normal" life? At the end of the day, what is a "normal life" anyway? Get a job, get married, have kids, retire, and die? Come on, does it really matter if people dont follow what you consider to be "normal"?
And if you think that all teenagers are **** parents, then you listen to the media too much, because there are a hell of a lot of great teenage parents around. But of course, the media wont focus on the positives- they'll focus on the negatives.
I think it takes some stupid, stupid people to end up like that. At 18/19 some might think that they'll be able to handle it as they are classed as an adult, but you have to give up your time to care for the baby, and you can't just lead a normal life with the title of 'Mum,' with a council house, which may come across as cool to some as there are very few teenagers that don't live with parents, relatives or a carer.
I wouldn't dream of it at 15, but there are some that think they know it all at my age and younger, so they don't need to wait until they are 16 to have sex, thus meaning that they are 'matured,' because the only reason the law is there is because you don't fully understand the implications until that age, but with the way this day and age is, the point of understanding is a lot higher.
Erm, well excuse me Kim, but I was a mum at 17 - does that mean I'm a **** mum aswell then?! You cannot generalise like that! :angry:
I was a mum at 17, didn't request a council house, but worked my backside off from the time my son was 3 months old, full time, to ensure that I could give him the upbringing he deserved. Claimed NO benefits apart from the statutory child benefit (which back then was a tenner a week and that really just about manages the nappy supply for the week) and finally after slogging my guts out, missing his first words and his first steps, 3 years later at 20, bought my own house.
So I am totally offended by your remark about being totally stupid to get yourself into that position. I was on the pill when I fell pregnant - was in a stable relationship and taking precautions and I for one, am NOT stupid.
I am now Director of my own company, working alongside my husband, with an annual turnover in excess of £300,000, rising profits and the business having only been going for the past 3 years.
What would you call a normal life? One like Abi described above, one going to university or what?
I'd personally heard more so that teen girls are more into having "alternative sex" such as anal in order to prevent themselves from becoming pregnant. Teen pregnancy has always been an issue, the rates have risen, but from what I've seen, teenagers are growing up a lot faster these days than they ever did, so in some respects, because of the lack of respect, self respect and discipline in a lot of people these days (and not just teenagers), this really doesn't surprise me.
My apologies if it appears I am ranting, but I DO NOT appreciate people being tarred with the same brush about subjects like this. The parents of children that are getting pregnant at 13/14 have a lot to answer for, but by saying people of 18/19 are totally stupid if they fall pregnant....!!! :angry:
xxloopylauraxx
25-02-2007, 22:47
my mother had me a week after her 19th birthday ok so it doesnt make her a young teenage mother but still a teenage mother.i spose nower days it only seems surprising that she only had me at 19. but now im 19 myself i do not know how she coped. ive got a full time job and not got alot of time to myslef let alone tiem to spend wiv a tiny baby to care for and look after. not to mention the money. ok somy dad was about as well and they stayed together for a long time but still.
Reading about all these 'teenagers', and i say teenagers in '' because most of them are only just teenagers, it no wonder why its classed as popular. u get pregant, sell your story to some magazines different ones while your preagnant and some papers will do to,then once the babies born you sell the story still plus you get child benifits and any other money support you may be intitled too oh and maybe get to apear in a documentry. im not saying its there faults they got preagant because i dont believe in blaming one person or passing the buck. im saying the media doesnt help the matter by 'sexing it up' and making it out as if its something to be proud of.
i take my hat off to teenage mothers. although i dont have children off my own i work with them 5 days a week and know what a handful they can be and thats only 8 hours a day i wouldnt be able to cope with it 24 /7!
Pinkbanana
25-02-2007, 23:23
I reading the Daily Mail today and one of the articles was from a pregnant fourteen year old, who said that nowadays being pregnant as a teen is popular!
This is the first I've ever heard of such a thing, do some teen girls around the country really think this?
I must say I normally read the Daily Mail, not sure why at times, as it does tend to stereotype certain sections of our society and portray them not in a particularly good light, ie teen mums, people on benefits, teachers......
However, it is a fact we have the biggest number of teen pregnancies in Europe, and the age that teenagers are becoming sexually active is getting lower.
I think teenagers have babies for a number of reasons...yes some do have a child to get a flat (I know this happens quite frequently in the area that I work in). Though accidents happen too.....and I think it is an extremely brave thing to do as a teenager to proceed and have the baby, rather than having an abortion (though I know that isnt an easy option either), because they will be responsibility of caring for that child 24/7 for the next 16+ years. That must be a frightening prospect when you are barely an adult yourself.
I do think it is extremely sad, and shows how sick our society actually is if young people are just having babies to 'fit in' as Annaz said the article stated...Babies should never be seen as the latest must have accessory...
I'm not generalising everyone, it's just that the majority of them in this decade seem to be.
I've found the Daily Mail article here (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=438036&in_page_id=1770) and this is only 1/2 hr from me - but excuse me if I offend anyone here, but the father of the girl says "There's nothing for children to do in Paignton. I honestly think they get bored and think it's a fashionable thing to get pregnant." Also in the article he "blamed the rise in underage pregnancies on growing "gang culture" where teenagers hang around drinking, taking drugs and having sex."
Is this what his daughter has been doing?
By the way, Dr Adrian Rogers is a staunched supporter of 2.4 children per family, all parents must be married, you aren't allowed to divorce etc, so to see his name crop up within this article, saying what he does, really doesn't surprise me :rolleyes:.
I'm not generalising everyone, it's just that the majority of them in this decade seem to be.
Sorry Kim, but you said, and I quote: I think it takes some stupid, stupid people to end up like that.
That to me is generalising that anyone in that position at that age is stupid, and I for one, certainly am not.
No offence taken and it doesn't mean everyone has to - it's just the ones that do it for a bit of drunken fun or something, with the perception that they don't need to worry wasting the money they could spend on drinking or whatever on contraception and when they find out they think, oh, who cares, babies are cute and keep them, but they don't care about giving them the best start in life that they can.
Obviously you were not one to do this and as you said the contraception failed which does happen and you have given your children a great start in life.
The attitudes of teenagers have got worse though, and there's people bunking off all the time and not caring about anyone but themselves. Nearly every time I'm at the bus stop there's a pregnant teenager walking past being anything but responsible and not caring about the unborn child. As you said you hardly got any benefit and it didn't cover a lot, but now the benefits are a lot higher and so it can lead them to think that they're getting an easy ride, so they can just go and get pregnant. Some obviously still do give their children good starts, but knowing some that have had bad ones and are off looking for love in the wrong places, it doesn't seem many.
I'm not generalising everyone, it's just that the majority of them in this decade seem to be.
Sorry Kim, but you said, and I quote: I think it takes some stupid, stupid people to end up like that.
That to me is generalising that anyone in that position at that age is stupid, and I for one, certainly am not.
As I said, I think it is stupid to fall under the impression that you can just do it for fashion and live in council houses for the sake of moving out of the parents house whilst young and obviously I should of been clearer, but you certainly weren't in the group that don't bother taking precautions as you said the contracption has, and it obviously wasn't fashion for you.
Well, 1) the pill costs nothing and you can get condoms free on the NHS from Family Planning Clinics, so money doesn't come into it.
2) Children of 14 shouldnt be going out getting drunk anyway
3) Should that child then get pregnant, abortion has already been slated by a huge number of people as being wrong.
4) Benefits are a lot higher? So lets see, child benefit (£15 for the first child approx and £10 for each child thereafter per week), Income Support (under £100 per week roughly), if you get CSA money, and you are on Income Support, it goes straight to the DWP (Department for Work and Pensions), not to yourself for your child. And if you manage to get one, which is increasingly hard these days, you might get a council house/flat. Most other amounts of benefit that ANY single parent/working parent, may be entitled to, is by going back to work.
A lot higher? No, but I think a lot less respect is taught to children these days (and I am refering to teenagers to children as you are just that), whether it be to other people, older, younger or same age and I think there is less self respect too. This huge want to grow up far too quickly. It frightens me, the world that I am bringing my boys up in to be frank.
The benefits that the children of today are getting if they have a child would pay for more than nappies which you said your benefit funded, and you clearly were not like the majority in this decade that would just waste the money on themselves and leave the child with next to nothing, living in a council house. Obviously I wasn't around when you were in your teens to see how many were getting benefits and the like, but teen pregnancies being fashionable would have mortified my parents and as you said, there is a lot less respect taught and that is where the problem with people having benefits and not caring about their children whilst they are young comes from.
As for the money and contraception issue: With the preception of teenagers of today that it wont happen to them, they're not likely to go out of their way to get to the family planning clinics, which would mean they would end up having to pay for it.
Ok, now you are confusing me, didn't understand really what you are saying there....anyway....
I do think a lot of the blame has to lie with parents and the way in which they are bringing up their children.
Ok, now you are confusing me, didn't understand really what you are saying there....anyway....
I do think a lot of the blame has to lie with parents and the way in which they are bringing up their children.
I think it is a case of 50/50.. my parent are really good parent, thought us morals and respect yet at least 2 of my sister had children by 17 years old and I didn't have any until I was 29.. I don't think it is mostly the parents fault, I think it has to do with the child and what they choose to listen too.
Although having said that when I was 18 and I couldn't find work, I went to social to get paid but cause I was at home with my parents, they didn't give me anything yet they said if I was pregnant I could get a lot more.. that was the advice I was given by them... get pregnant!!!
I think a lot of this depends on the individual, my friend had her baby at 17 (didnt know she was pregnant, felt ill one night and along came Amy) that aside, she knew what people would be like and when people found out she got called every name under the sun, its not fair to say that to people, it was an accident, but shes still a teen mum and even at 18 its hard for her, people slating her calling her and being horrible doesnt help matter.
I agree with Em when she says there is no reason why the teenage pregnancy ration in Britain is highest in europe. It doesnt make sense. We are pretty wealthy as a country and kids today get taught so much in school. its not like there told never to have sex but do that know where central youth is. Everything is confidential, you can go on the pill and like Jojo says money isnt an issue.
I do know someone though who at 17 is a mum to three kids, that to me isnt stupid as thats not fair as thats what she has chose to do with her life, but to me i think that is wrong for the Kids, all with different dads. Thats no way to go about things. What sort of message is the parent giving out for that to be seen as acceptable. I dont think its all to do with the parents but when people say, well i was out of it, at 14 and thats when it happens it is an issue, drinking is legal at 18 for a reason. but it doesnt always lie with the parents. Sometimes it does.
There are probably as may permutations on this one as there are people.
Some people make fab parents at 17
Some people are **** parents at 34
For myself I think that it is better (certainly easier!) to be an a stable relationship, and to have a home before you start a family.
That said, many babies are not the result of planned conception. (And I mean many, one of my friends has 3 children and only one was planned. She was 27 when she had her first (planned) child, and 29 and 33 when the other two came along. This happens to women of all ages who have sex, it just takes a bout of sickness or a course of antibiotics for the pill not to be as effective as normal.....
I think the main problem is that children are having sex. 13, 14 year olds should not be putting themselves into the position where pregnancy is even a possibility. (And I am not being sexist - I mean the boys as well.)
Whatever happened to sports, music, youth clubs, after school clubs and even TV. Why are 14 year olds having sex at all?
I have one son of 15 and another of 12.5.
I have spoken to them both about sex and emphasised that
a) it is illegal until you are 16.
b) just because you are 16 doesn't make it compulsory.
c) If you do have sex you should ALWAYS use a condom - sexually transmitted diseases are not prevented by the pill.
d)you should not treat sex as a recreational passtime - it is something special that you should share with someone you care for and RESPECT.
e)don't tell lies about sleeping with someone, and don't boast even if you do. This show immaturity and, again, lack of respect.
f)If you are worried about anything - talk to your parents. I would much rather my kids came to me and asked questions than to someone in the school yard.
g) there is no reason to be embarrassed.
I'm not generalising everyone, it's just that the majority of them in this decade seem to be.
Sorry Kim, but you said, and I quote: I think it takes some stupid, stupid people to end up like that.
That to me is generalising that anyone in that position at that age is stupid, and I for one, certainly am not.
As I said, I think it is stupid to fall under the impression that you can just do it for fashion and live in council houses for the sake of moving out of the parents house whilst young and obviously I should of been clearer, but you certainly weren't in the group that don't bother taking precautions as you said the contracption has, and it obviously wasn't fashion for you.
How do you know that all the other teen mum's aren't the same then?! You dont know every teenage parent, so cannot say that they are all doing it for fashion etc. You seem very willing to retract your statement for Emz, but not for people as a whole. Probably because you are trying to avoid an even further arguement :rolleyes: You are a victim of the Media. You have read or watched the news, and beleive everything they say. They blame contraception, but never EVER report on any cases like Emz'. So how do you know that there arent 2 million other people that have had the same thing happen to them?
You are being sooo stereotypical, its unbeleiveable. Do you seriously think that teenagers who have sex dont think about contraception, pregnancy and STDs? Honestly? Because if you do, you seriously need to read the news a bit more or something.
I do know someone though who at 17 is a mum to three kids, that to me isnt stupid as thats not fair as thats what she has chose to do with her life, but to me i think that is wrong for the Kids, all with different dads. Thats no way to go about things. What sort of message is the parent giving out for that to be seen as acceptable. I dont think its all to do with the parents but when people say, well i was out of it, at 14 and thats when it happens it is an issue, drinking is legal at 18 for a reason. but it doesnt always lie with the parents. Sometimes it does.
I have 2 kids, two different dads but it is not something I planned to do.. I don't think it is wrong, I had split with my husband and met another guy who I fell pregnant for. I have a very loving family and I know lots of people who have kids for the same person not half as loving as my family is. Each to there own I say, all individuals are different and in Ireland there is NO Free condoms and you have to have your parent with you to get the pill up to the age of 16 so it is harder.
Chloe O'brien
26-02-2007, 20:03
When I was 16 there were a lot of my friends getting pregnant so they could get their own council house. While some have remained with their boyfriends and went on to return to work full-time and have a mortagage others have remained on benefits for the last 20+ years and went onto have different kids to different fathers. I never had Marley until I was 31 mainly because I didn't want kids when I was younger, I was too busy enjoying going out boozing every weekend.
I think its up to the responsiblilty of the parents to educate and discuss with their children epecially the teenagers of the dangers of having un age sex. As a mother of a daughter I am dreading when she becomes a teenager.
A school near mine, one of the girls in Y9 is pregnant. I don't know the circumstances, but I just cannot imagine myself ever being in that position at all, being pregant 13/14.
There was also that story a while ago of the 12 year old who was pregnant, she didn't care basically she gave in the interview and still went out drinking and smoking. Anyone know what happened to her, she was in the news a lot when it happened.
I believe that you are referring to the wee lassie in West Lothian.
I understand that both she and her baby were taken into care.
Chloe O'brien
01-03-2007, 11:19
I believe that you are referring to the wee lassie in West Lothian.
I understand that both she and her baby were taken into care.
And the boyfreind ended up in prison. The judge put him on probrabtion on the agreement he stayed out of trouble but then he got arrested for breach of the peace so the judge jailed him.
.:SpIcYsPy:.
01-03-2007, 15:38
One of these girls in my year today I know was quite upset so I asked her what was wrong and she said she was sick everywhere and wasn't on for over 2-3 weeks now. She was trying to tell me she might have been pregnant.. she clearly was worried and not ready and she's only been out with this boy for a week :eek: I was quite shocked but I'm glad she's going to the doctors next week to confirm it..
I don't know what I would do in such position..
I believe that you are referring to the wee lassie in West Lothian.
I understand that both she and her baby were taken into care.
And the boyfreind ended up in prison. The judge put him on probrabtion on the agreement he stayed out of trouble but then he got arrested for breach of the peace so the judge jailed him.
Her baby was born a few weeks prem as well. It made me mad to see pictures of her smoking and living with her drug addict mother while pregnant.
Did anybody watch a program a long while ago about teenage mothers? They were sent away with their babies to someplace to learn how to look after them. One of the girls (I think she was 13) refused to even pick her baby up because she didn't want it.
To be fair, there was a 17year old single mum with twins and she was a brilliant with them. She had a council house and all the rest of it but she lived on her own with two babies and was planning to go to college when they started school.
I know a girl who deliberatly got pregnant because she didn't want to go to school anymore (better than just twagging I guess.) A few months after she had the baby she gave it up because she didn't want it.
I know people say it, and sometimes they use it as an excuse as to why we have the highest teen pregnancy rate, but sex education in school needs to be better. All we did was pass around a condom and look at it and that isn't good enough. Maybe making it more well known to teenagers that condoms are freely available will reduce the number of pregnancys. But then again it could encourage more to have sex underage.
Parents should also teach their kids about sex but it's such a taboo subject that not many people feel comfortable talking about it and some parents don't know enough about the implications of having sex i.e. std's and their symptoms.
I saw that programme as part of my general studies lesson. I think he did make it look a lot more negative than it actually is. Bigging up the sterotype in a sense.
My twelve year old is currently doing reproduction in the science class. And my 15 yeat old has been doing STDs in social education.
we used to have EPR days which were emotional personal and religous days out of school youd do 1 or 2 a year on all this sort of stuff. Its not like your not taught about protection. I dont get why the ratio is so high.
littlemo
21-04-2007, 01:27
I dont get why the ratio is so high.
Yeah i don't get it either really. I dont know anybody near me that has been a teenager mother. My cousin (well she's my great aunts daughter) was 20 when she had a baby, i thought that was quite young, cause she's only about 7 months older than me. But she's happy with her boyfriend, and daughter whose gorgeous. lol. My cousin was adopted, and i think part of the reason she probably wanted to keep the baby was cause she's a bit detached from her adoptive mother, and was looking for somebody to love. And she's a great mother!
I do think it's wrong that there's a system where young people feel like they need to get pregnant to get more money, and a council house. Why don't children realise their potential? they can go to school, university, get a great job. I think maybe some parents, who perhaps don't have much money, feel their children should earn a living, and aren't happy with their children going into education and not paying their way. The government should make it easier for people to get on in life!
I'm in University. I'm nearly 22. Coming up to the end of my 1st year. I'm loving it! I do want a baby one day, and would probably keep it, if i did fall pregnant. But saying that, i would take a lot of things into consideration, and not rush my decision.
I don't think people should dismiss abortions so quickly, especially when it's a teenager that falls pregnant. It's ultimately their decision, but parents should make them see that there could be a lot more to their life, if they didn't go ahead with the pregnancy.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.3 Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions, Inc. All rights reserved.