Soapboards Street - The Return

[Jada-GDR]

INTRODUCTION *cough cough AHEM*

It has been a LONG... LONG time since we last saw Soapboards Street and THINGS HAVE CHANGED. New places in, old places out. Big Fat Bouncing Spicy did finally lose all that weight (Before doing so she managed to become Big Fat Bouncing Hungry Annoyed AnnoyING Stuck-In-The-Door Spicy, but now she's just Thin Not Hungry Big-Time-Diet Healthy-Eating Spicy, and everybody's happy, ya bet yer life we are, do do do do do do), the rrrebles were banished from town (but since this had happened before and it didn't make much difference, they were eventually forced by gunpoint to jump into the river and sail away [with me honey], and everyone was rid of them, yay), new people joined the council, HOWEVER the... *shifty eyes* SECRET DRINKS MACHINE ON FLOOR THREE!!! :eek: was never found, and lives to this day in the memory of Olde Soapboardse Streete.

SO, anyway, lets get to the new stuff.

CrazyLea - owner of the Soapboards Street Farm and Shop
Littlemo - Author
DaveyWavey - owner of Soapboards Street Beach and Watersports Club
Tannie - owner of the Stripy Jumper Night Club
Debs - Lollipop Lady
Alan45 - Newspaper Critic

Pinkbanana - Complete Maniac Out To Get EVERYONE

COUNCIL:
Jojo
Bondboffin
Luna
Rob
Siobhan
Abi

Tony Montana - the GREAT
ALL-KNOWING
ALL-SEEING
ALMIGHTY LORD

+ cameo appearances from other members

[CrazyLea]

This sounds great :lol: The last ones were so funny!!


CrazyLea - owner of the Soapboards Street Farm and Shop
:lol: That's awesome!!! :wub:

and I can understand the whole PinkBanana/maniac thing :p

[Katy]

so glad its back was very entertaining last time.

[Debs]

:rotfl: Im a lollipop lady! How ive always wanted to be one of them!

[Meh]

Can't I be the local alf garnett style xenophobe?

[DaVeyWaVey]

Oooh this sounds fun! I am owner of Soapboards Street Beach and Watersports Club! It sounds cool...can't wait for this to start!

[Jada-GDR]

Can't I be the local alf garnett style xenophobe?

NOPE. lol :p Will post the first one tomorrow probably. :D

[Pinkbanana]

and I can understand the whole PinkBanana/maniac thing :p


Erm....not sure I can...:eek: :confused: :eek: :lol:

I like to think I'm more of your modern day Mother Teresa (with a slight shopping addiction) type of character, rather than a 'complete manic who's out to get everyone' kinda gal. :lol:

Looking forward to reading this...peeps have commented, to me, on how good the last one was!

[Jada-GDR]

and I can understand the whole PinkBanana/maniac thing :p


Erm....not sure I can...:eek: :confused: :eek: :lol:

I like to think I'm more of your modern day Mother Teresa (with a slight shopping addiction) type of character, rather than a 'complete manic who's out to get everyone' kinda gal. :lol:

Looking forward to reading this...peeps have commented, to me, on how good the last one was!

lol... i mean in a baddie sort of way, not in a horrible way

[Jojo]

COUNCIL:
Jessie Wallace
Bondboffin
Lun
Rob
Siobhan
Abi


:crying: All the mods are there but I've been replaced by JW :crying: Why?!?!

[Jada-GDR]

COUNCIL:
Jessie Wallace
Bondboffin
Lun
Rob
Siobhan
Abi


:crying: All the mods are there but I've been replaced by JW :crying: Why?!?!

sorry! ill put you in :p

[DaVeyWaVey]

When is the first episode going to be Jada?

I love this idea! :)

[Jada-GDR]

first ep later on tonight i think :D

[Jojo]

sorry! ill put you in :p

Yay!!! Thanks Jada :D I'm all excited now :lol:

[Jada-GDR]

SOAPBOARDS STREET - The Return Begins...

STRIPY JUMPER NIGHT CLUB

Everyone is going shmental

Crazylea: *is drunk*

Abi: *is also drunk, but shouldn't be because she is a council person and is setting a bad example*

Tannie: *is wearing a stripy jumper* Heehee, everybody loves this place and I am so proud to be the owner of it ^_^

Crazylea: BLLUUGGHH WHO WANTS A FIGHT??

Daveywavey:Orite then *rolls up sleeves*

Everyone makes a big breakdance/fight circle and Daveywavey and Crazylea do big BRING IT ON SUCKAH hand moves

Tannie: Oh dear...

Daveywavey: Shouldn't you be getting back to your COWS AND SHEEP?

Crazylea: Shouldn't you be getting back to your SURFBOARDS??!!

Everyone: *GASP!!!* :eek:

Daveywavey: Right. That's it. Right. Too far. Yep. Too far. Right. Yep. Right. That's it. Too far. Right...

Crazylea: *getting board*

Daveywavey: That's it. Right. Yep. Too far.

Crazylea: *walks away*

Tannie: *wipes forehead*

Daveywavey: Too far. Yep. Ri... OI! Come back here and fight like a man!

Crazylea: Woman!

Daveywavey: Man!

Crazylea: Come over here and fight full stop!

Abi: *realises she may get fired for this and walks out the door*

Crazylea: *wants more drink*

Tannie: I think you've had enough dearie

Crazylea: ARE YOU KIDDING? I'M GETTING PISSED HERE, D'YOU MIND?

Tannie: Yes

Crazylea: *face falls* Oh, okay then.

OUTSIDE

Abi: Taxi... TAXI... *falls on the road*

Crazylea: *comes outside* Oh dear! *tries to pull Abi up and falls on top of her* oops!

Abi: Are you drunk?

Crazylea: Yes

Abi: Me too. We can be drunk together.




Pause.




Abi: You have the most beautiful eyes...




Pause.




Crazylea: You wanna come back to my place?

Abi: Yes, yes okay.

[DaVeyWaVey]

Great first episode! Loved my fight with Lea! :D

[Abi]

Abi: *is also drunk, but shouldn't be because she is a council person and is setting a bad example*

:rotfl: Love it! Thats so histerical! :rotfl:

Though Lea, are you coming onto me? :p :rotfl:

[Jojo]

Fight fight fight fight..

And oooerrr Abi and Lea!!! Aye aye!! :eek:

[CrazyLea]

Oh perleaseeee. Who's the one who said someone has beautiful eyes hey Abi... thanks by the way ;)

LMao love it Jada !!

[Jada-GDR]

THE NEXT DAY...

SOAPBOARDS STREET FARM AND SHOP

Crazylea: *Has a hangover*

Abi: *is upstairs in Crazylea's bed*

Littlemo: *walks in* Hello!

Crazylea: Go away I've got a hangover

Littlemo: But I need 2 pints of -

Crazylea: DO I LOOK LIKE I CARE???

Littlemo: LOOK, I need 2 pints of milk and a lump of cheese, I don't have any breakfast and if you -

Crazylea: This is SOOO not my problem!

Littlemo: It clearly is!

Crazylea: No!

Littlemo: Yes!

Crazylea: No!

Littlemo: YES!

Crazyea: NO!

Littlemo: Oh yes it is!

Audience: Oh no it isn't! *chucks toast*

*Cue Abi in lacy BLACK underwear BLACK you hear me??? Quote Bianca, 10 Things I Hate About You, "It means she wants to have sex someday..." looks like she got her wish then...

Littlemo: :eek:

Crazylea: :eek:

Abi: OMG how mortifying!

Crazylea: WTF are you doing here?

Abi: I stayed the night, remember?

Crazylea: Uh, no...?

Littlemo: *takes 2 pints of milk and a lump of cheese and sneaks off towards the door, doing shifty eyes OMG SHIFTY EYES! CLASSIC! Good times, good times!*

Abi: Come on, last night! We were at Stripy Jumper, remember?

Crazylea: Yeah... how the hell did we get back here?

Abi: We rolled.



...



Crazylea: WTF YOU MEAN WE ROLLED???

Abi: All the way down the street! ^_^

Crazylea: Well... you can go now -

Abi: OH NO WORK I'M LATE !#@?~{ *obscenities* OH NO OH DEAR *runs out*

Crazylea: *wonders if they had already started while they were rolling*

OUTSIDE

Abi: *realises she is still in her lacey underwear* Oh sh**

AT THE PARLIAMENT

Rob is sitting on a throne
Jojo is sitting on an EQUALLY-SIZED throne because we in Soapboards Street DO NOT TOLERATE sex discrimination and ANYONE performing it WILL be charged, fined and locked in a dustbin until the date of execution is set.

Bondboffin, Luna and Siobhan are all sitting on plastic chairs because absolutely pointless discrimination is, on the other hand, perfectly acceptable, and often encouraged in many societies and public places.

Abi: *charges in* OMG I am SOOOO SOOOO sorry I am late I was out last nigth and I got a bit carried aw-

Rob: YOU SHOULD BE SORRY!

Abi: I know, I know, I am -

Rob: *grimly* You know what to do.

Luna: Brace yourselves guys *they all put on dark glasses*

Abi: Oh no, oh no, I -

Siobhan: Just get it over with. Quickly.

Jojo: I'm waiting...

Abi: Stop it, you're making me really nervous...

Jojo: We're building the tension here!

Bondboffin: I can't bear to watch...

Abi: *breathes in*

Everyone Else: *breathes in*

Abi: Here goes... *kneels* OH ALMIGHTY TONY MONTANA, THE GREAT, ALL-KNOWING, ALL-SEEING, ALMIGHTY LORD, I CANNOT EVEN BEGIN TO EXPRESS MY SORROW AND REGRET FOR THIS INCIDENT, AND WILL NOT EVEN DARE TO CONSIDER PERHAPS THINKING OF BEGGING FORGIVENESS OF YOU FOR LETTING DOWN THESE KIND, GOOD, DESERVING PEOPLE, WHO PULLED ME OUT FROM THE DEEP, DARK PIT I ONCE CAME FROM, WHO FED ME, CLOTHED ME, PROVIDED ME WITH A HOME AND WORK WHEN I COULD HAVE BEEN LEFT IN THAT DEEP, DARK PIT WITH NOTHING. I WILL NEVER FORGIVE MYSELF FOR THIS HORRIFIC ACT, AND WILL SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE REGRETTING IT WITH EVERY LAST OUNCE OF REGRET I CAN SUMMON FROM WITHIN MYSELF.

Amen.




Silence.



Rob: That was...

Jojo: Beautiful!

Bondboffin: *bursts into tears* never in my whole life have I heard the I Was Late speech performed so... so... movingly!

Rob: SO, everyone, back to work.

Luna: Nice outfit, by the way.

Abi: :moonie:

[Abi]

Abi: Here goes... *kneels* OH ALMIGHTY TONY MONTANA, THE GREAT, ALL-KNOWING, ALL-SEEING, ALMIGHTY LORD, I CANNOT EVEN BEGIN TO EXPRESS MY SORROW AND REGRET FOR THIS INCIDENT, AND WILL NOT EVEN DARE TO CONSIDER PERHAPS THINKING OF BEGGING FORGIVENESS OF OYU OR LETTING DOWN THESE KIND, GOOD, DESERVING PEOPLE, WHO PULLED ME OUT FROM THE DEEP, DARK PIT I ONCE CAME FROM, WHO FED ME, CLOTHED ME, PROVIDED ME WITH A HOME AND WORK WHEN I COULD HAVE BEEN LEFT IN THAT DEEP, DARK PIT WITH NOTHING. I WILL NEVER FORGIVE MYSELF FOR THIS HORRIFIC ACT, AND WILL SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE REGRETTING IT WITH EVERY LAST OUNCE OF REGRET I CAN SUMMON FROM WITHIN MYSELF.

Amen.




Silence.



Rob: That was...

Jojo:
Beautiful!

Bondboffin: *bursts into tears* never in my whole life have I heard the I Was Late speech performed so... so... movingly!

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: OMG, thats got to be the funniest thing i've read in ages :rotfl:

[DaVeyWaVey]

:rotfl: This is hilarious!! Keeping going Jada..

[Jojo]

:rotfl:

Oh this is brilliant Jada!!!! You have a new fan!!!

:cheer:

[CrazyLea]

Hahaha Abi.. bet your heartbroken now :p

Loved the Tony Montana speech :rotfl:

[alan45]

Absolutely Hilarious BTW when do I appear:cool:

[Meh]

Abi: Here goes... *kneels* OH ALMIGHTY TONY MONTANA, THE GREAT, ALL-KNOWING, ALL-SEEING, ALMIGHTY LORD, I CANNOT EVEN BEGIN TO EXPRESS MY SORROW AND REGRET FOR THIS INCIDENT, AND WILL NOT EVEN DARE TO CONSIDER PERHAPS THINKING OF BEGGING FORGIVENESS OF OYU OR LETTING DOWN THESE KIND, GOOD, DESERVING PEOPLE, WHO PULLED ME OUT FROM THE DEEP, DARK PIT I ONCE CAME FROM, WHO FED ME, CLOTHED ME, PROVIDED ME WITH A HOME AND WORK WHEN I COULD HAVE BEEN LEFT IN THAT DEEP, DARK PIT WITH NOTHING. I WILL NEVER FORGIVE MYSELF FOR THIS HORRIFIC ACT, AND WILL SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE REGRETTING IT WITH EVERY LAST OUNCE OF REGRET I CAN SUMMON FROM WITHIN MYSELF.

Amen.

:lol:

Lol, if I read this right she shouldn't be praying to God but getting application forms filled in for late night television!

[Siobhan]

:rotfl::rotfl: Jada.. fantastic!! I laughed my touche off.. Abi and Lea!! who would have thought it

[Chloe O'brien]

Absolutely Hilarious BTW when do I appear:cool:

Alan did you and I not work for Siobhan in the last SB street I think we were baddies.

[Kim]

Abi is certainly not going the right way about getting out of trouble with the parliament, she'll be back in it now. Abi and Lea :rotfl:

That was even funnier and more random than the first Soapboards Street :cheer:

[alan45]

Absolutely Hilarious BTW when do I appear:cool:

Alan did you and I not work for Siobhan in the last SB street I think we were baddies.Typical. Thats us typecast again.:rotfl:

[Jada-GDR]

SOAPBOARDS STREET BEACH AND WATERSPORTS CLUB

Daveywavey: *is still reeling from the horrendous, bloody, life-scarring fight with Crazylea the previous night and is wrapping bandages around the arm that he broke while bravely battling to the almost death*

Debs: *Comes along*

Daveywavey: Oh, hello. Look at my arm *holds it up*

Debs: :eek: Oh my! What ever happened??

Davewavey: WELL, it was a dark, stormy night, and I was out in the pouring rain, and I needed shelter, so I sought it out in the Stripy Jumper... and THEN... this g... I mean, this man came in, and he was soo DRUNK!

Debs: Oooh!! Was he big?

Daveywavey: HUUGGEEE

Debs: And strong?

Daveywavey: His muscles were popping out of his t-shirt I MEAN wrestling outfit

Debs: WRESTLING OUTFIT??

Daveywavey: Yessss! His WRESTLING OUTFIT!!

Debs: :eek:

People: :eek:

Daveywavey: And he came over to ME!

Debs: But why YOU?

Daveywavey: Because I am small, and weak, and I would never have a chance of REALLY taking him on

Debs: Don't say that! You're STRONG!

Daveywavey: *winks* Well... eh... thanks, but I really wouldn't.

Debs: I think you would...

Daveywavey: Anyway, he came up to me to pick a fight with me

Debs: You DIDN'T take him on, did you?

Daeywavey: Well, that's where the broken arm came from.

Debs: Oh, how BRAVE! *flutter flutter, sigh, etc*

Daveywavey: I know. It was nothing, really.

Suddenly, the sky darkens with clouds, a crash of thunder...em...crashes, and ther voice of Tony Montana booms over the Soapboards Street Beach And Watersports Club

Tony Montana: YOU LIAR!!! YOU CAD!!! THIS WILL BE THE LAST TIME YOU TELLS LIES LIKE THIS, OR LIES OF ANY KIND, YOU NAUGHTY, NAUGHTY BOY! YOU WILL LIVE TO REGRET THIS, AND DIE A SHAMED MAN!

Daveywavey: I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

Debs: Lying? What's he talking about??

Daveywavey: Um... uh...

Tony Montana: GO ON YOU COWARD! TELL THE YOUNG LADY THE TRUTH!

Daveywavey: Uh... well...

Debs: What??

Daveywavey: It... it wasn't a man I fought at all.

Debs: But -

Daveywavey: IT WAS CRAZYLEA, OKAY??

Debs: Wha-

Daveywavey: IT WAS A GIRL.

Debs: And... and she broke your arm?

Daveywavey: No... I mean...

Debs: HA! CRAZYLEA BROKE YOUR ARM!!! :rotfl:

Daveywavey: But... we didn't even fight!

Debs: HA. I'm sure.

Tony Montana: YES, DAVEYWAVEY, THIS IS YOUR PUNISHMENT FOR LYING. IT WILL HAUNT YOU FOREVER.

Daveywavey: NOOOOO!!

Debs: HAHAHAHAHA!!

Tony Montana: I think you've learned your lesson.

[Jojo]

:rotfl:

Oh this is brilliant!!!

So Davey's arm has been broken by TM because of his lying about being beaten by a girl - I'm right in saying that aren't I?

More Jada!!!

[DaVeyWaVey]

:rotfl: :rotfl: This gets funnier by the scene!

[Pinkbanana]

:rotfl: :rotfl: This gets funnier by the scene!


It does indeed! Really enjoying reading this....:)

[Debs]

:rotfl: :rotfl: sooo funny, looking forward to more!

[Jada-GDR]

PINKBANANA'S SECRET LAIR SOMEWHERE YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT BECAUSE IF YOU DID YOU WOULD BE NOT ALIVE

Pinkbanana: Heehee... I need to wreak havoc on some innocent lil people... Therefore I need a PLAN!

The Voice In Pinkbanana's Head That Gives Her A Reason To Tell All Us Readers Her Evil Plans And Makes Her Seem Even More Deluded (hereby known as Bluebanana): I really do not think this is a very good idea.

Pinkbanana: Why ever not? I think it's a fabulous idea. Wreak havoc! WREAK HAVOC!! BOOGA BOOGA HALLIBAH *war dance*

Bluebanana: *Stands and watches this amusing little act from the corners of Pinkbanana's mind* Trust me. Always trust the nagging little voice in the back of your head. I certainly do! Mine's called Yellowbanana :D

Pinkbanana: Uhu... well I don't. KK???

Bluebanana: You're probably the voice at the back of someone else's head, you just haven't realised it yet. Greenbanana or something.

Pinkbanana: YOU SHUT THE HELL UP OR... OR I'LL...

Bluebanana: GO ON. You'll what?

Pinkbanana: I'll...

Bluebanana: Yes?

Pinkbanana: VISIT A PSYCHIATRIST

Bluebanana: :eek: :eek: NOOOO!!!! YOU CAN'T!!! AFTER ALL I'VE DONE FOR YOU!!!

Pinkbanana: YEAH? Like what?

Bluebanana: I've helped you! Kept you company in this solitary little place! I've been your friend!

Pinkbanana: You've been an annoying little poo that's what

Bluebanana: I'll stop! I PROMISE!

Pinkbanana: Well...

Bluebanana: PROMISE!

Pinkbanana: Well...

Bluebanana: PWWEEEEAAAAZZZZZZ PWETTY PWEAZ!

Pinkbanana: Alright. FOR NOW.

Bluebanana: I'll be good :angel: :thumbsup:

[Kim]

Lol PB has gone mad. Hmm, get a psychiatrist that is even more mad :rotfl:

Great x

[Pinkbanana]

OMG...*looks around shiftily* ...how do you know about the voices in my head?! :eek: :lol:


loving your work, J-GDR :thumbsup:

[Tannie]

:p :p Wow I Love This Just Read It All Through:p
HaHa Pb Love The Idea Of You Being A Voice In Someone's Head:lol:
Haha Dave Got Beat By Lea And Has A Broken Arm:lol:
More Soon
xx

[*-Rooney-*]

jada ive never read soapboards street before but i read yours and i thought it was really funny is there any chance i can become a perm character in it please

[Katy]

its really good, i have just caught up. Loved Abis being late speech.

[Luna]

just had the chance to catch up on this - absolutly brilliant :lol:

[CrazyLea]

Just read the PB part.. :lol: I can imagine her being like that :p
Great stuff :)

[Jada-GDR]

PINKBANANA'S SECRET LAIR SOMEWHERE YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT BECAUSE IF YOU DID YOU WOULD BE NOT ALIVE

Pinkbanana is contemplating the idea of being the voice at the back of Greenbanana's head

Pinkbanana: How could you tell?

Bluebanana: What?

Pinkbanana: If you were the voice at the back of someone's head? How did you know?

Bluebanana: I just did ^_^

Pinkbanana: Well... I think that rules out any possibility then.

Bluebanana: NO! Do not give up on your quest!

Pinkbanana: Quest :rolleyes:

Bluebanana: Yes! This is the beginning of your quest to discover the being that... you are in the head of! Greenbanana!

Pinkbanana: And how exactly do I go about doing that?

Bluebanana: I shall devise a plan!

Pinkbanana: Does this mean if Greenbanana needs a plan I'll have to devise that?

Bluebanana: Ayeep.

Pinkbanana: But I'm too busy to be devising plans for people! I wanna go out and wreak some havoc on some stuff! :crying:

Bluebanana: It is your fate, our fate, to find Greenbanana's mind and be a part of it.

Pinkbanana: Do you think Greenbanana can hear us now?

Bluebanana: Maybe. But not me. I'm in your head remember?

Pinkbanana: So if Greenbanana can hear me they think I'm a total nutcase?

Bluebanana: Well you are, aren't you? You have outloud conversations with the voice in your head. SOO not normal! *camp hands*

Pinkbanana: PSYCHIATRIST...

Bluebanana: NONONO I'LL BE GOOD I PROMISE

[Kim]

HAHA :rotfl:

How many more colours of banana will there be :hmm:

:cheer:

[Jada-GDR]

SOAPBOARDS STREET

Debs the lollipop lady is waiting for children to get out and cross the road.

...

No children are coming.

Debs: HELLOOO?? CHILDREN!!! I HAVE A JOB TO DO HERE, COME AND HELP ME DO IT!!! I'M BORED!!!

Still no children.

Debs: Look, kiddies, my feet are killing me out here! Just let me stand in the middle of the road and wave my lollipop around once! Once! PLEEASSSEEE!!!

Tony Montana - the GREAT
ALL-KNOWING
ALL-SEEING
ALMIGHTY LORD
Walks up to her in human form wearing sunglasses

Debs: :eek: Check this out!! It's... Tony Montana - the GREAT
ALL-KNOWING
ALL-SEEING
ALMIGHTY LORD
!!!

Tony Montana: No children are coming to you. You must build a giant, edible lollipop. That will get them out.

Debs: A giant edible lollipop...

Tony Montana: Build it, and they will come.

Debs: Build it, and they... How??

Tony Montana: Build it, and they will come. *walks away*

Debs: Right, right... well... *gets to work on giant lollipop*





(Grace: You might not get this. Sorry. Go watch the film.)

[CrazyLea]

Errr what film?

But :rotfl: I liked Tony how he's so mysterious :p
And poor Debs :( Hope you build that giant, edible, lollipop :D

[Jojo]

:eek: What Film?! Field of Dreams! A brilliant film.

Debs the lollipop lady :lol: I can picture it now :rotfl:

[Chloe O'brien]

I hope she is building the giant lollipop during the half-term holidays and not when she is supposed to taking the children across the road.

[Debs]

:rotfl: :rotfl: A giant lollipop, mmm like the sound of that

[Kim]

Haha Debs... if no children will come, who would know if she went home for coffee? :rotfl: Well, she can't make an edible lollypop in the middle of the road, but I guess that wont be too good; that's not part of her job. :lol:

It's totally crazy, so I don't need to be watching any film.

Fab, Grace. :cheer:

[Debs]

It's totally crazy, so I don't need to be watching any film.

Fab, Grace. :cheer:


What theres gonan be a flim version :eek: :rotfl:

:hmm: wonder who will play me, can i have a love interest, poor little lollipop lady needs some excitement!:rotfl:

[Jada-GDR]

Heyhey, sorry I've been away so long :p busy, stuff, yknow... BUT I'M BACK NOW *cheers from the audience* oh speaking of audience i've got a surprise involving Soapboards Street up my little sleeve so keep yer eyes peeled in the future...

and sorry if anyone's changed their names - they are staying the same for this :D:D so as not to confuse people K?

ANYWAYS BACK TO BUSINESS


STRIPY JUMPER NIGHT CLUB

*Tannie is cleaning blood off the floor*

Tannie: Dear dear, this certainly takes a long time. As the owner of the Stripy Jumper I should not have to be put through such CHORES and MARTYRDOM

"DAILY PEAS AND CHEESE" BUILDING - ALAN45'S OFFICE

*Alan45 is writing criticism of some pointless political decision or other*

Alan45: Dear dear, this is certainly taking a long time. As a paper critic getting payed so much, I should not have to be put through such CHORED and MARTYRDOM

STRIPY JUMPER NIGHT CLUB

Tannie: I KNOW! I should get a cleaner!

"DAILY PEAS AND CHEESE" BUILDING - ALAN45'S OFFICE

Alan45: I KNOW! I should get another job!

STRIPY JUMPER NIGHT CLUB

Tannie: How about that lovely chap, Alan45 is it?

"DAILY PEAS AND CHEESE" BUILDING - ALAN45'S OFFICE

Alan45: Ummm, let's see... I'm thinking... *pulls out last weeks DAILY PEAS AND CHEESE and flips to the job section* AHA! I could walk some dogs!

Or wash some cars!

Or paint some walls!

Or CLEAN... no, couldn't stick that :mad:

STRIPY JUMPER NIGHT CLUB

Tannie: *Picks up phone*

PHONE CONVERSATION TAKING PLACE

Alan45: *picks up* Helloo?

Tannie: Hey there! I was wondering if you would be interested in -

Alan45: A new job??!!

Tannie: Well, yes!

Alan45: Ooooh, goodie! What do you have in mind?

Tannie: Well, I was getting tired of wiping the floors so much at my night club, so I was wondering if you'd be interested in taking up a cleaning job?

Alan45: ...

Tannie: Well??

Alan45: NOH!

Tannie: Excuse me?

Alan45: NOH!

Tannie: Well... why not?

Alan45: BECAUSE my fingernails would get dirty, my hair would get messy, it would altogether be a humiliating job!

Tannie: But -

Alan45: NOH!

Tannie: BUT -

Alan4: NOH!

Tannie: ALRIGHT THEN! STICK YOUR STUPID JOB AND YOUR STUPID FACE AND YOUR STUPID CHAIR AND -

WARNING, THIS PHRASE CONTAINTS PARTICULARLY OFFENSIVE LANGUAGE WHICH MAY NOT BE SUITABLE FOR SOME AND MAY CONTAIN HURTFUL WORDS
Yer paper SUCKS

*Someone puts down the phone. Probably both of them.*

PHONE CONVERSATION NO LONGER TAKING PLACE

[Kim]

:lol: Love the spoiler tag bit.

Alan45: Ooooh, goodie! What do you have in mind?
Now now, you should always ask what is required before jumping at the opportunity. :rotfl:

:cheer: :cheer: :cheer: