What would you think??

[Jojo]

Ok - just want everyones opinions on what they would see in this situation.

Yesterday, I phoned my friend as I'd bought her 2 children small Christmas gifts, and knowing they are going on holiday for Christmas and her hubbys birthday this year, knew I'd need to take them round last night, whilst she was at work, otherwise I wouldn't get chance to take them round.

She said that would be fine, she'd be working, but her hubby would be in, so no problem.

I put Liam to bed, and popped round at 7ish to drop them round and knocked on door. No answer, but I could see her hubby through the door in the conservatory having a meal with one of their female friends, she was eating too. I knocked again, not wanting to knock too loud as I didn't want to wake their children, and still no answer, rang the bell, no answer. They were sitting very close at the table next to each other and in the end, I gave up and left the pressies on the doorstep, knowing that my friend came home at 12 midnight, so if hubby didn't see them before hand, then my friend would when she got home from work.

Anyway, this morning, I rang to make sure that they'd seen the presents and taken them in, that they hadn't been stolen or anything, and hubby answered. He said that he was bathing their eldest son when I went round and he must have been upstairs and didn't hear me knock.

Now obviously, I know that he was having a meal with this female friend of theirs, which I find very strange. Firstly, my friend always feeds the children, then as soon as hubby comes home, they have dinner together, then she goes to work. Secondly, she baths the children every morning at 6am so they don't need to have a bath before bedtime (shes always done this - I think shes mad but shes lovely lol). And also, why would neither of them mention that this friend was going over. Hubby was expecting me, as he was told I was popping over with the pressies.

What would you make of this situation ? I know what I think, but I want to see what you all think too. I'm not going to be mentioning anything about this to my friend, not at least until they're back from holiday etc and even then, I'll probably just see how the land lies with them, but something just doesn't ring right with me.

[alan45]

Do you know the female 'friend'. Maybe when they go on hols you could ask her what was going on.

[Siobhan]

I would talk to him when he comes back. Tell him what you saw and ask him about it.. My reckoning is, if it was all innocent then why did he lie about bathing the kids plus your friend would have known that this "female friend" was coming over too

[Jojo]

Do you know the female 'friend'. Maybe when they go on hols you could ask her what was going on. I know of her, but don't speak to her (my hubby calls her the Witch from Willand :rotfl: ) We all had our 5yr olds at the same time but shes one of these people that for some reason thinks shes better than everyone else (and walks around like shes got a broom up her backside)


I would talk to him when he comes back. Tell him what you saw and ask him about it.. My reckoning is, if it was all innocent then why did he lie about bathing the kids plus your friend would have known that this "female friend" was coming over tooThis is what I was thinking Siobhan - if it was all inncoent, why the deceit in the first place.

My other thinking, is to speak to a mutual friend, who knows what the relationship is like between the other woman and my friends, and maybe see what her take is on it - would that be an idea do you think?

[Siobhan]

My other thinking, is to speak to a mutual friend, who knows what the relationship is like between the other woman and my friends, and maybe see what her take is on it - would that be an idea do you think?

That would be like gossiping and it could get out of hand.. Best to have a direct approach and then you can be sure of facts from the person himself incase you do eventually decided to tell you friend what is going on.

[alan45]

(and walks around like shes got a broom up her backside)



Maybe its not a broom!!!!!!!!!!:eek:

[Jojo]

That would be like gossiping and it could get out of hand.. Best to have a direct approach and then you can be sure of facts from the person himself incase you do eventually decided to tell you friend what is going on. Yeah thats true...

Its so hard though to know what to do really. I mean. in some respects if something was going on, then she wouldn't have parked her car right outside the house, when they have the nosiest neighbours in the street, but then on the other hand, why the deception, or could it be assumption as to the time I went over.

I think I may just see how she is when they come back from holiday - but from what I've said, do you think I'm reading too much into it - the angel on one shoulder says its all probably very innocent, but the devil on the other is very suspicious.

[snapper]

Part of me would think maybe the worst, because of the deceit etc, or it could be innocent - like they were organising a special present for the wife and the lady was helping him arrange it - could be posssible as Christmas isnt far away.

[Em]

Yeah thats true...

Its so hard though to know what to do really. I mean. in some respects if something was going on, then she wouldn't have parked her car right outside the house, when they have the nosiest neighbours in the street, but then on the other hand, why the deception, or could it be assumption as to the time I went over.

I think I may just see how she is when they come back from holiday - but from what I've said, do you think I'm reading too much into it - the angel on one shoulder says its all probably very innocent, but the devil on the other is very suspicious.

Well see I would have thought maybe she parked the car outside the house in case someone did see her enter ... if the car is parked there then he could say she was visitng etc and it may look more suspicious if shes caught there without her car (if you get what i mean)

i dont think you are reading to much into it ... i mean is it possible they didnt hear you knocking the door? Has it ever been a problem before when you have visited? Surely if your friend knew this other friend had been round she would mention it to you .. if she hasnt she prob doesnt know .. and thats just weird. i cantimagine my Other half having dinner with another female whilst Im not there and I think it is odd

I agree though about not discussing it with your other friend ... you should approach your friends hubby first .. see what he says.

[Siobhan]

Part of me would think maybe the worst, because of the deceit etc, or it could be innocent - like they were organising a special present for the wife and the lady was helping him arrange it - could be posssible as Christmas isnt far away.

See snapper, we all had suspicious minds.. She could have been helping him and he is not going to say in front of the wife that he was talking to this other woman cause she would ask a lot of questions

[Trinity]

I wouldn't say anything.

There may been an innocent explanation, although possibly not. You didn't see anything that was really awful - they were only eating.

I would keep well out of it.
:angel:

[Chloe O'brien]

The difficulty is that you don't want to open a can of worms by idol gossip, but neither do you want you're friend to get hurt and her finding out that you had your suspisions and said nothing. I would speak to the husband and casually drop in the converstion that you were round his house and you saw hiim and this female eating, and see what his reaction is.

[snapper]

Xmas Cracker, thats good advice.:)
Advice which someone would have done with me a few months ago. Hubby was taking a young girl out for dinner, for trips out to different towns, whilst I was at work. When I had a day off he hadnt got any money for us to do anything together.
His best friend did try and tell me that he was concerned but when I asked my husband about it he told us we were mad, imagining things.
This continued over a long time and I was convinced something wasnt right - but I was still 'you are imagining it'.
One day hubby decides that for my own benefit I need to know that he thinks this 20 year old is pretty, lovely, wants to know what it would be like to hug her etc....that was hard, what made it twice as hard I found out that day that I needed major surgery.

So please if you are concerned, talk to the ladies husband and see how he reacts. If he acts normally then you know its innocent, if he fidgets etc then maybe give him a choice, he talks to his wife or you do.

[Jojo]

The only problem I have is that generally I don't see the hubby, and therefore we haven't got that kind of friendship. This is why its so difficult.

It could all be very much innocent, there are just these anomolies (sp?) which make it very difficult not to wonder whats happening.

Like I say, I think I'll just stay schtum until something more possibly says otherwise maybe - argh its so difficult!

[Chloe O'brien]

I'm sorry for going of topic here, but It happened to my sister 17 years ago. She had a friend who she had known since they were fifteen they went out clubbing together and had kids the same age. When my sister was pregnant with her youngest her friend had not long split up from her second husband and used to spend all her time at my sisters house. She would arrived not long after taking her kids to school all done up to the nines and she would ask my sister's husband if she looked ok, if her make up was smudged, and she used to flirt a lot with my ex-brother in law. My sister spoke to both her husband and her so-called best friend and they persistently told her it was her hormones because she was pregnant and that she was imagining things they were just pals nothing more. My sister worse fears were confirmed not long after she had my niece when she caught the two of them coming out of his brothers house. My sister went to pieces once that happened she had a lot of other problems going on at that time but this was the stick that broke the camels back, as they say she suffered five nervous breakdowns in three years. If it was me I would rather a friend told me if there fears were comfirmed rather than being humiliated and finding out that everyone else knew before me.

[Jojo]

I'm sorry for going of topic here, but It happened to my sister 17 years ago. She had a friend who she had known since they were fifteen they went out clubbing together and had kids the same age. When my sister was pregnant with her youngest her friend had not long split up from her second husband and used to spend all her time at my sisters house. She would arrived not long after taking her kids to school all done up to the nines and she would ask my sister's husband if she looked ok, if her make up was smudged, and she used to flirt a lot with my ex-brother in law. My sister spoke to both her husband and her so-called best friend and they persistently told her it was her hormones because she was pregnant and that she was imagining things they were just pals nothing more. My sister worse fears were confirmed not long after she had my niece when she caught the two of them coming out of his brothers house. My sister went to pieces once that happened she had a lot of other problems going on at that time but this was the stick that broke the camels back, as they say she suffered five nervous breakdowns in three years. If it was me I would rather a friend told me if there fears were comfirmed rather than being humiliated and finding out that everyone else knew before me. This is why I'm in two minds about saying something - I'd prefer my friends to tell me. Its the whole routine thing that bothers me too see - they eat together at 5pm every night before she goes to work, so why did he need to be having a meal with this friend. Why say to me on the phone that he was bathing his eldest, before even knowing what time I'd called round, especially when they are bathed at 6am every morning. Ok - he could have spilt stuff on himself or whatever, but it just really puts me in a quandry, knowing some other bits too (which are slightly too personal to post), it just makes me wonder.

I'll see how the land lies with them when they return from holiday though and see what I can gauge from that. :hmm:

[pookie1968uk]

is there an update on this? did you speak to them after their holiday or just leave it?

[Jojo]

is there an update on this? did you speak to them after their holiday or just leave it?

I've left if for now Pookie. If anything else occurred then it might change, but for now, I felt it wasn't warranted saying anything.

[Kim]

I wouldn't approach the hubby if you decide to do something about it. He could tell your friend you're lying about it, then it would be your word against his.

[Jojo]

Yeah, I think whilst they are happy, I'm going to just leave it - if it was something more concrete rather than just suspicious then it would be a different matter, but whilst they are the way they are, I'm going to keep schtum.