Mr Humphries
27-10-2006, 15:49
Wednesday 1st November 2006
Now we can add a knackered ankle to the tribe's list of ailments. Oh, and another selection of cuts and bruises thanks to Kit's tumble down the hill. We're surprised she didn't break her neck - and frankly this injury is something that Kim would clearly like to bestow on Belle for causing the accident in the first place. Belle, since you ask, is pulling an even longer face than usual. She's certainly not going to get any painkillers now, is she? Anyway, the trek continues, despite Kit turning into Little Miss Hop-along and Kim and Colin nearly throwing each other down some more steep inclines at various stages. Tension is high and supplies are almost as low as morale. However, there's renewed hope for the workers at the Surf Club. "She's done a real one-eighty", strewths Alf, as he natters to Beth and Colleen about Amanda's recent change of (tart with the) heart. "She's coming up with ideas faster than I can write them down." More importantly, she's also coming up with the money to fund the search - and it turns out that she's splashing the cash she was going to invest in her movie. "Sometimes priorities change", Mandy explains, as Beth forgets that the blonde bombsite offed her father and practically clasps her to her bosom, Fern Britton-style. Everybody is overwhelmed by her generosity, apart from us. We want the old Amanda back, damnit!
How do you like your eggs in the morning? Matilda likes hers with a kiss - especially if Lucas is the one playing Gordon Ramsay (he doesn't swear as much but takes his shirt off just as often). However, Luc nearly coughs up a hairball when Matilda tries to slip him a bit of extra tongue. What's got into him? Well, earlier in the day, he had a visit from school slapper Lee. Mysteriously, he ended up conning his dad out of fifty notes and slipping them her way. After spotting the exchange, Tony confronts his son. Lucas spins a lie and promises that he won't be seeing the girl again. Matilda, though, is crushed that her sort-of-fella is hanging out with her love rival and becomes convinced that she is the reason why he wasn't up for a round of tonsil tennis. When she spots the gruesome twosome having a cuddle on the beach, her dam bursts for the 18th time this week. Head for high ground, y'all. But why is Lee back on the scene all of a sudden? Well, her open jacket reveals a baby belly - and now we're wondering if head chef Lucas has put a bun in her oven too.
Thursday 2nd November 2006
"There must be some way we can make ourselves useful", twitters Cassie, as Ric mopes around the house pining for his missing friends. And, as it goes, there is something they can do. Colleen swoops into the house with a "Yoo hoo!" and a whiff of lavender and coerces them into baking some lamingtons to raise money for Peter Baker's "commensurate" plaque. However, Matilda isn't keen on the idea of getting up to her elbows in melted chocolate and "desecrated coconut" (another Colleenism for you there). "I just want to be by myself", she snaps, after having a good old moan about Lucas's rejection of her. Ric and Cassie have a pop at the boy, and Mattie later tells him that she saw him slobbering over Lee. He denies everything, but this backfires enormously. "The fact that you just lied about it to my face tells me all I need to know", she snarls, before finding a mirror and digging her fingers into her scar until it weeps. Yikes. Matilda is in trouble.
We don't wish to speak ill of the dead (unless it's that b word Angie) but it seems that Peter Baker was bit of a dark horse. And now we'll tell you something that you don't know. After a bit of snooping through some old bank statements, Dan discovers that Peter had been transferring a portion of his wage to a certain Andrew Curtis. A letter in Peter's files reveals that the man has something to do with a nearby boarding school - and Dan automatically assumes that he must be a member of staff. However, this is not the case. The school secretary quickly informs Dan that Andrew Curtis is a 17-year-old student - and that Peter was his father! "Oh, my god," you think. "Will he be hot?"
Colleen, who has been ransacking the costume box marked "pantomime dame" again, arrives at Summer Bay house with a wheelbarrow full of Be-Ro and about seven tons of marg. She thanks Ric and Cassie for offering to make 500 - that's five hundred - lamingtons before tottering off to get the wrong end of a stick somewhere. However, Cassie and Ric end up wearing most of the cake mixture and end up looking like they've just been gunge-tanked. Later, Cassie takes some of the fruits of their labour over to Matilda in a bid to put a smile back on her face. However, no amount of pointless calories will cheer the girl up. She's still convinced that she's the most hideous creature on earth since Hercules slaughtered the hydra, and no amount of reasoning will make her believe otherwise. Once Cassie has decided to put her Samaritan act to bed, Matilda starts binging on the lamingtons and spitting half-chewed crumbs into the sink. Uh-oh. It seems that we need to worry about her mind more than her body...
Now we can add a knackered ankle to the tribe's list of ailments. Oh, and another selection of cuts and bruises thanks to Kit's tumble down the hill. We're surprised she didn't break her neck - and frankly this injury is something that Kim would clearly like to bestow on Belle for causing the accident in the first place. Belle, since you ask, is pulling an even longer face than usual. She's certainly not going to get any painkillers now, is she? Anyway, the trek continues, despite Kit turning into Little Miss Hop-along and Kim and Colin nearly throwing each other down some more steep inclines at various stages. Tension is high and supplies are almost as low as morale. However, there's renewed hope for the workers at the Surf Club. "She's done a real one-eighty", strewths Alf, as he natters to Beth and Colleen about Amanda's recent change of (tart with the) heart. "She's coming up with ideas faster than I can write them down." More importantly, she's also coming up with the money to fund the search - and it turns out that she's splashing the cash she was going to invest in her movie. "Sometimes priorities change", Mandy explains, as Beth forgets that the blonde bombsite offed her father and practically clasps her to her bosom, Fern Britton-style. Everybody is overwhelmed by her generosity, apart from us. We want the old Amanda back, damnit!
How do you like your eggs in the morning? Matilda likes hers with a kiss - especially if Lucas is the one playing Gordon Ramsay (he doesn't swear as much but takes his shirt off just as often). However, Luc nearly coughs up a hairball when Matilda tries to slip him a bit of extra tongue. What's got into him? Well, earlier in the day, he had a visit from school slapper Lee. Mysteriously, he ended up conning his dad out of fifty notes and slipping them her way. After spotting the exchange, Tony confronts his son. Lucas spins a lie and promises that he won't be seeing the girl again. Matilda, though, is crushed that her sort-of-fella is hanging out with her love rival and becomes convinced that she is the reason why he wasn't up for a round of tonsil tennis. When she spots the gruesome twosome having a cuddle on the beach, her dam bursts for the 18th time this week. Head for high ground, y'all. But why is Lee back on the scene all of a sudden? Well, her open jacket reveals a baby belly - and now we're wondering if head chef Lucas has put a bun in her oven too.
Thursday 2nd November 2006
"There must be some way we can make ourselves useful", twitters Cassie, as Ric mopes around the house pining for his missing friends. And, as it goes, there is something they can do. Colleen swoops into the house with a "Yoo hoo!" and a whiff of lavender and coerces them into baking some lamingtons to raise money for Peter Baker's "commensurate" plaque. However, Matilda isn't keen on the idea of getting up to her elbows in melted chocolate and "desecrated coconut" (another Colleenism for you there). "I just want to be by myself", she snaps, after having a good old moan about Lucas's rejection of her. Ric and Cassie have a pop at the boy, and Mattie later tells him that she saw him slobbering over Lee. He denies everything, but this backfires enormously. "The fact that you just lied about it to my face tells me all I need to know", she snarls, before finding a mirror and digging her fingers into her scar until it weeps. Yikes. Matilda is in trouble.
We don't wish to speak ill of the dead (unless it's that b word Angie) but it seems that Peter Baker was bit of a dark horse. And now we'll tell you something that you don't know. After a bit of snooping through some old bank statements, Dan discovers that Peter had been transferring a portion of his wage to a certain Andrew Curtis. A letter in Peter's files reveals that the man has something to do with a nearby boarding school - and Dan automatically assumes that he must be a member of staff. However, this is not the case. The school secretary quickly informs Dan that Andrew Curtis is a 17-year-old student - and that Peter was his father! "Oh, my god," you think. "Will he be hot?"
Colleen, who has been ransacking the costume box marked "pantomime dame" again, arrives at Summer Bay house with a wheelbarrow full of Be-Ro and about seven tons of marg. She thanks Ric and Cassie for offering to make 500 - that's five hundred - lamingtons before tottering off to get the wrong end of a stick somewhere. However, Cassie and Ric end up wearing most of the cake mixture and end up looking like they've just been gunge-tanked. Later, Cassie takes some of the fruits of their labour over to Matilda in a bid to put a smile back on her face. However, no amount of pointless calories will cheer the girl up. She's still convinced that she's the most hideous creature on earth since Hercules slaughtered the hydra, and no amount of reasoning will make her believe otherwise. Once Cassie has decided to put her Samaritan act to bed, Matilda starts binging on the lamingtons and spitting half-chewed crumbs into the sink. Uh-oh. It seems that we need to worry about her mind more than her body...