fav CSI quotes

[Luna]

found this on another forum and thought it was a great idea..........



Here are some of my all-time fave CSI quotes

Catherine Willows: How much does this place clear a week?
Lady Heather: Ten grand.
Catherine Willows: I'm not with the IRS.
Lady Heather: Okay, twenty.
Catherine Willows: I don't make that in three months.
Lady Heather: Sex pays a lot better than death.
Catherine Willows: Plus, the outfits are cooler.

Catherine Willows: Hey, coffee boy. Where's my DNA? Cigarette butt? Match book
time-delay device? Hair spray? Any of this sound familiar?
Greg Sanders: Bags under the eyes, coffee cups, stress face. Any of this look familiar?
I'm working on it.
Catherine Willows: Did Grissom put his stuff in front of mine?
Greg Sanders: No. I'm working on your case -- with Nick.

Greg Sanders: You smell like death.
Sara Sidle: I've heard.
Greg Sandes: You know ... a real man wouldn't mind.

Gil Grissom: To get to the evidence, we may destroy the evidence.
Catherine Willows: You get these haikus out of a book or do they just come to you?
Gil Grissom: Every time you find a body, you have to choose a path and when you take that
path, Grasshopper, you risk destroying the evidence.

Gil Grissom: Nick We're looking For A Bald Head
Nick Stokes: Gee Well, That Should Distinguish It Well From All the Other Severed Heads Out There

Officer Metcalf: My money’s on meth Lab.
Sara Sidle: You know, Metcalf, just because somebody lives in a trailer park, doesn’t mean they’re a meth cook.
Officer Metcalf: You guys are a real pain in the ***, you know that?
Gil Grissom: Get used to it, pal.

Sofia Curtis: Well, if she was shot in here, there might be bullets and casing. I say we process the car in place. Let’s get rolling.
Sara Sidle: Area is uncontrolled. Evidence can be contaminated or lost. We need to get this back to the lab.
Gil Grissom: Car condom.

[Luna]

Season 1:

Warrick: Whose blood is that?
Grissom: The new girl's. would you like to donate?
Warrick: Hell, no

Police Officer: Sir, get down on your knees
Warrick: I ain't gettin' down on my knees for nobody, you can shoot me.

Sarao you know where I can find Catherine Willows?
Catherine:She's out in the field. Lemme guess. Sara Sidle.
Sara:I know who I am. I think you're a little confused.

Catherine:Maybe a little bling bling?
Sara:So what's a "bling bling"?
Catherine:Got me

Grissom:I got one of these chem labs when I turned six. Almost blew up the
house

Grissom ( to Nick, about the ChemLabs):We'll play with these later

Sara: Get a picture of the security pad. Someone touches it before it's
dusted, I break their fingers

Sara:What's that smell?
Nick:I'm nukin' a burrito
Sara:Junk food and radiation, good combo

Sara:Are you hitting on me, David? Ah, let me give you some friendly advice. If you want to pull chicks, you gotta get aggressive. You gotta drop the glasses, lose the coat, grow some scruff. You do get a 'c' for cute, though

Warrick:Entomology is our friend

Greg:So how many grains of sand in the ocean? Huh?"
Nick:I don't care about the ocean. Just the sand in my skeleton. Can you pinpoint a beach?
Greg:I don't know, I may have to do some field research. Hey, think Grissom would send me to Hawaii?

Grissom:And what are you doing about it now?
Sara:Going back to the girl. I left her in the car. But the windows are cracked... Give me a little credit. She's at the hospital

Nick:You look tired. Want me to fix you a bottle? Go night-night?
Warrick:You want me to crack that jaw? Put your *** night-night?


Greg:So what's the pot up to?
Nick:We don't bet on cases."
Greg:Oh, of course you don't. So who's winning?
Nick and Warrick:I am
Greg:Fiends

Paul Millander:I call it 'Good vs. Evil.' You like it?
Grissom:Yeah reminds me of my supervisor on days

[CrazyLea]

Gil Grissom: Nick We're looking For A Bald Head
Nick Stokes: Gee Well, That Should Distinguish It Well From All the Other Severed Heads Out There

Grissom ( to Nick, about the ChemLabs):We'll play with these later

Love them ones :D


From Season 5..
Brass: I think you can stop with the english accent now
Person: I can't it's my accent
-----Something like that haha-----
Can't think of anymore right now.

[Luna]

Catherine:I'm gonna go out here on a limb here and say they're hiding something
Grissom:Then we get to play hide 'n seek


Sara(to Grissom):One step ahead of you. Every so often

Grissom:... I need their shoes
Catherine( feet up on desk):Why are you telling me?
Grissom:Cause you're the people person, right?
Catherine:Well, why don't you tell them that. They're not giving me bubkiss
Grissom:Please
Catherine Gives Grissom a look, gets up, and shoves her bag of chip at Grissom)
Grissomstarts eating them)
Catherine:Okay people, listen up. Shoes. Off. Now

Grissom:Okay. Vicki Mercer and Carl Finn. I believe are in the bathroom."
Warrick:Mile-high club?
Catherine:If you ask me, it's their spouses that are the dummies
Grissom:Look it's gonna be sunrise in ten minutes. We're going to have to do a run Lola run and do this in actual time
Brass:Tony Candlewell. Dead guy
Grissom:Right there 3C. And for now he's alive until he's dead
Grissom:You are Lou (to Brass)
Catherine:Lou, the angry businessman. How about that?
Sara:I want to be Shannon. Good
Warrick:The stewardess?
Sara:Excuse me, it's flight attendant
Grissom:Catherine, the doctor 3E."
Catherine:Single mother, what an imagination you have
Grissom:Max and Marlene 2E and F. You two are married. Who wants to wear the pants?
Nick:CSI Three seniority. Sweetie.
Warrick:Yeah, whatever. You're hen-pecked, anyway
Sara:Let me guess. You're the computer geek?
Grissom:In the interest of clarity, yes

Warrick:Yeah, go ahead honey, save my life
Nick(trying to get out of his seat):Excuse me, buttercup
Sara:That's when you got up and grabbed the broken wine neck
Warrick:And saved Nick's butt as usual
Nick:And he's messing with my man so I get my licks up


Grissom:John... Paul... George... Ringo
Sara:Beetles

Catherine:Sorenson is a painting
Warrick:How dumb are we?

Brass:I I.D.'d her through AFIS and located her husband
Grissom:Let me guess, downtown? The Freemont district?
Brass:You know, I'm not even gonna ask

Nick: Are you putting one of Lindsey's drawings into Evidence?
Catherine:If only her artwork brought in this kind of dough, I wouldn't have to worry about college tuition
Nick:So, I hear your Missing Person was a painting
Warrick:At least we solved our case
Nick ( putting hand to his heart):Oooo hooo
Catherine:Keep walking

Ecklie:Your reputation as an entomologist elevates this entire crime lab, which elevates my stature, by association
Grissom:Well, then you must not feel very small today, by association

Brass:Well, if it isn't 'the boss' himself. Where's your 'E' Street band?
Grissom:They had another gig

[Luna]

Gil Grissom: There are three things people love to stare at: A rippling stream, a sunset, and a Zamboni going around and around.
Sara Sidle: Charlie Brown... I love a Zamboni.

Gil Grissom: I just got a page from James Watson.
Nick Stokes: And I got one from Francis Crick. What's going on, Greg?
Greg Sanders: Well, as you both know, Watson and Crick are the granddaddies of DNA. Without their discoveries, I'd have nothing to do all day.
Nick Stokes: What have you been doing all day?

Catherine Willows: The only thing that sports book means to me is guys without showers.
Warrick Brown: [laughs] That's actually true

[Nick is complaining about not being able to get a warrant for a search]
Gil Grissom: You're a grown man, Nick. Stop whining.

Warrick Brown: What are you doing here?
Nick Stokes: I'm playing cards. With my friend.

[after telling Grissom something that Grissom already knows]
Greg Sanders: I guess I should stop trying to impress you.
Gil Grissom: That would impress me.

Sara Sidle: So relax and lie down on your back.
Greg Sanders: You know, this is exactly like a dream I had once, except it wasn't in a garage and Grissom wasn't watching.
[beat]
Greg Sanders: That was a different dream.

[about a decapitation case]
Catherine Willows: Definitely a crime of passion.
Gil Grissom: You think a female did this?
Catherine Willows: I could have.
Gil Grissom: Scared of you.

Nick Stokes: Mrs Hendler, do you and your husband do much rock climbing?
Amy Hendler: Yes.
[points gun at Nick]
Amy Hendler: That's what I killed her with

Sara Sidle: You made my pickle into a light bulb?

Nick Stokes: Well, it takes 10 minutes to drive from the clinic to Industrial Road.
Warrick Brown: Yeah?
Nick Stokes: Yeah, I had Greg run it.
Warrick Brown: [laughing] That's classic!

[Luna]

Greg: 99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer...swab one down, run it through CODIS...98 bottles of beer on the wall...
Nick: What happened to "Take one down, pass it around"?
Greg: Hey, us lab guys have to do something to keep us awake all day.

Grissom: You're a grown man, Nick. Stop whining.

*Grissom licks a piece of 'bone'*
Catherine: "What are you doing?"
Gil: "Bones are porous. They stick to the tongue. This doesn't stick. It's a piece of rock."
Catherine: "I-I hope you had your Hepatitis B shot."
"Did you?"
Gil and Catherine walk over to another cadet to look another 'bone' a cadet has found.
Gil: "It could be a piece of wrist bone."
Catherine: Well, do you want to **** it? To be sure?

Sara: So relax, and lie down on your back.
Greg: You know, this is exactly like a dream I had once--except it wasn't in a garage, and Grissom wasn't watching.
[Pause]
Greg: That was a different dream.

Gil Grissom: Greg!
Greg Sanders: Yeah.
Gil Grissom: Take off your shoes and socks.
Greg Sanders: See, now we're getting into this whole strip forensics thing and I'm not too sure I can hang with that - even if you are my boss.

Catherine Willows: Definitely a crime of passion.
Gil Grissom: You think a female did this?
Catherine Willows: I could have.
Gil Grissom: Scared of you.
^ That scene just amuses me in general LOL

Gil Grissom: Hey Doc, tell me something I don't know.
Dr. Al Robbins: When I was in fourth grade, I dropped karate because some kid half my size made me cry.
^ I almost cried I was laughing so hard when that episode originally aired.

[Greg kicks Warrick out of the lab]
Warrick: Did you take your medication today?

Nick Stokes: So, what do you think it is? Cocaine maybe?
Catherine Willows: Nope.
Nick Stokes: How can you tell just by looking at it?
Catherine Willows: Never you mind.
^Go Cath.

Gil Grissom: Excuse me. Can you please turn down the house lights and turn on the stage lights?
[stage light comes onto Grissom]
Gil Grissom: I want to see what he saw before he died.
Catherine Willows: What do you see?
Gil Grissom: Nothing.
Catherine Willows: What are you looking for?
[beat]
Gil Grissom: A punchline?
Captain Jim Brass: ba-dum-bum

Nick Stokes: People are pigs.
Gil Grissom: Hey, don't insult pigs. They're actually very clean.

[CrazyLea]

Catherine: I made one of these in 3rd grade, but I lost to some boy with an art farm (looks at grissom) that was you wasn't it.
Grissom: I learnt from a very early age, that ants always win :cool:

(Again something like that haha)